“Yes,” he growled against my breast, and with my nipple still between his teeth, he clamped down almost viciously.
I let out a hoarse scream as the seams of my body unraveled and the brutal climax overtook me. Releasing me, Sinclair reared up and began to move for himself, pounding into me with short, hard strokes, driving me higher and higher. When he finally groaned and released inside of me, I was heavy and saturated with pleasure, unable even to drop my freed hands from above my head.
He collapsed beside me, his breathing uneven and his dusky skin covered in a sheen of sweat so that he seemed to glow in the soft lamp light. It was late and I felt more liquid than human. My lids weighed ten tons but I so loved to look at Sinclair, especially when he wasn’t aware of it. I noticed the faint stubble lining his sharp jaw and wondered idly if I would have beard burn painted across my sensitive skin. The thought of being branded by him made my recently stated desire stir its sleepy head.
As if sensing my thoughts, he smiled slightly with his eyes closed. “You are insatiable.”
“How did you know what I was thinking?” I laughed.
One lid cracked open, revealing a vivid blue iris sparkling with humor. “I might not know you very well, but I do know your body.” His left hand smoothed over the curve of my hip and I turned on my side to face him. “I know how much I turn you on.”
I blushed but he chuckled and chucked me softly on the chin. “Nothing to be ashamed of. If anything I’m flattered.” His lips twisted as if he couldn’t believe it himself. “I know it isn’t in your nature to be so bold.”
“No,” I agreed, fiddling with the edge of the silky pillowcase. “I wasn’t sure you’d be pleased.”
He raised a brow and indicated towards his satiated organ. “Despite evidence to the contrary.”
I smiled but self-consciousness had reared its ugly head again and it was hard to put it back to bed. Besides, even though I might not know him very well, I knew enough about his dominant predilections to question whether he had truly enjoyed my assertiveness.
“You don’t believe me,” he said and though I wasn’t looking at him, I could feel his frown.
“Well, I know you like to be the one in control,” I murmured.
The sudden silence was thick and electric with tension. I hadn’t expected him to react so strongly to my simple observation and when I looked up at him, he seemed frozen, staring woodenly at the ceiling.
“I didn’t mean to offend,” I said softly but I wasn’t really sorry because what I had said was true.
I remembered Cosima telling me about the world of sex and games, glossing over the finer details but still too knowledgeable to be inexperienced in their arts. She had mentioned domination and submission, the thrill some people got from administering punishment and controlling another’s pleasure. I wasn’t sure how far Sinclair’s kink went, but I was pretty sure he was into some degree of BDSM.
He sighed heavily and dragged his arm across his forehead, almost as if he wanted to shield his eyes from me. “I’m overreacting. I was the one who said there should be no secrets in our bed.”
A little thrill from hearing him call the bed ‘ours’ raced up my spine.
“I…” He rubbed a hand over his face. “I used to be involved in the BDSM scene, years ago now but when I met E… When I met my current girlfriend, I gave it up. She wasn’t interested.” He laughed harshly. “In fact, she was repulsed by it.”
Tenderness swelled in my chest and I reached out tentatively to touch his arm. “Most people are afraid of things they don’t understand.”
He turned his head to stare at me, his expression fierce. “You don’t know anything about it.”
“No.” I nodded slowly. “But I’d like to.”
His dark brows shot up but his eyes were stilled guarded. “You don’t know what you are saying.”
It was my turn to sigh. I propped myself up on one arm in order to look down on him.
“I do. We’ve already broken so many rules, yours and mine. If we are going to have a holiday affair, why not live out those fantasies? I can’t say I know much about all of that, but I’m curious.” I looked down at the crumpled bed sheet, suddenly bashful but unwilling to admit it.
“We aren’t talking about squash here, Elle.” He was angry now, his voice smooth and steely. “BDSM isn’t something you can dabble in. You need complete trust and honesty in order to be safe and you hardly know me.”
And shouldn’t trust me, I read in his gaze.
Yes, I thought stubbornly, I can.
“I’m not saying I want you to tie me up and gag me every time we sleep together.” My skin pulsed with hot and cold pin pricks of lust and fear. “I’m not even saying I want to do this for you.” He raised a brow at that but allowed my white lie to go uncontested. “I was shy and miserable with it for so long, declining every indulgence that came my way because I thought I didn’t deserve it.” I tilted my chin and tried to the stop my stomach from quivering with nerves. “This is something that I want, Sinclair, something that I need.”
He stared at me for a long time until my elbow ached from my awkward position and my skin cooled. I watched his implacable expression, searching for the tells I was now so familiar with. Only his eyes gave him away; the intense blue depths were dark with troubled thoughts.
Finally, he spoke but his lips were strangely unmoved so that at first I didn’t know he was talking. “It’s intimate, Elle. For some, there is no turning back.”
His eyes were locked onto mine, emphasizing his point. I blinked through my surprise because the thought that I may be converted to the lifestyle had not occurred to me.
He nodded and I wondered if I had spoken aloud. “You acted on impulse but you didn’t really think this through. As a man who has become enchanted by the siren’s call, let me at least warn you before you take the plunge.”
“Show me.” When his lips pursed to argue with me, I placed my palm over his mouth. “How can I know if I’ll like it or not if you don’t show me?”
I knew so little about what to do so I followed my desires, folding onto my knees and scooting closer to him. Taking his angular face between my palms, I composed my features and hoped that I sounded, well, irresistible.
“I want to submit to you.”
Why was saying it out loud so arousing? I felt the power of those vulnerable words pull my shoulders back and blaze behind my gaze.
He touched my chin, pinching it slightly in his fingers. I waited calmly as he studied me and felt a thrill course through me as he shuddered with acquiescence. My eyes fluttered closed as I waited for him to kiss me, ravish me in some way, but his chuckle made them spring open. He was smiling at me with something close to tenderness as he drew two fingers down my throat, hovering over my throbbing pulse.
“Not tonight, siren. As I said, this isn’t a game and if we are going to do this then we will do it properly.”
He looked into my eyes with the kind of intensity that was meant to scare me, and honestly, I felt a shiver of apprehension race across my skin but before I could react, he was pulling away from me, swinging to his feet with feline grace.
I watched his small, firm buttocks as he bent over to pull on his charcoal grey lounging pants. When he turned back to me, the shutters were once again pulled down over his emotions and his gorgeous blue eyes were only vacant pools.
“I have work to do,” he stated, coolly staring at me as if I was a business associate and not his lover.
In some ways, I supposed, I was no more than an agreement, a pleasurable one certainly, but still just an equal investor in a mutual asset. The thought made me suddenly sick to my stomach.
An angry flush burned my cheeks as I scrambled out of bed and into the other room to search for my discarded summer dress.
He entered just as the cool fabric dropped down over my damp skin. I knew that he watched me as I adjusted the skirt and ran my fingers through my hopelessly tangled hair. I didn’t know why he s
tood there when it was obvious that he wanted me gone and it only made it more awkward to have him wait impatiently at the doorway to his bedroom.
Resentment fizzed across my skin, infusing me with sudden shame-fueled hatred. I turned to him, mouth open and ready to snap at him for treating me so callously, for being the most mercurial man I had ever met. But something in his face arrested me. His hands flexed restlessly at his sides and he rocked lightly back and forth on his feet while his face – the devastating face I was coming to like entirely too much – stared at me with that wolf-like hunger I had only caught glimpses of before. But this time, after a round of passionate lovemaking, the expression was skewed by something other than lust, tenderness maybe, and an undercurrent of regret.
As if he knew my thoughts, he nodded and cleared his throat to softly bid me goodnight, “Get a good sleep, Elle. You need it.”
The fight left me. There was indecision in his stance and in my heart, I wondered if it had been the right thing to come back to his room. It could have ended so amicably if I had just stayed away, but now it was too late, I was invested and as I nodded curtly at my Frenchman, I could already feel my heart clench painfully with foreboding.
My hand was on the door handle when I felt him grasp my arm. Without turning me, he pressed himself against my back and placed a gentle kiss to the side of my face.
“Sweet dreams.”
Chapter Eleven.
“So,” Cosima practically yelled. “How are things going with the married man?”
I hushed her even though I sat alone on the sand and no one could hear her through the phone. The midday sun beat down on the landscape, hammering everything into gold. It had been a productive morning, swimming followed by a few hours of photographing and sketching the surrounding area. Now, I lay pleasantly exhausted in the sun slathered with sunscreen. The heat was the only thing I really missed about Naples and despite being a redhead with freckles, my skin loved a good golden tan. Even though I hadn’t heard from Sinclair, I was beyond content, especially listening to the familiar spiced tones of my sister through the phone.
“He is an enigma,” I murmured, shifting sand through my hands.
“Oh no, you never have been able to resist a mystery. And I’m sure the sex is fantastic. You must have it bad.”
“Cosi!” I protested through my laughter. “I haven’t even told you about our sex life.”
“I know.” I could hear her smile. “Which tells me it’s excellent. Otherwise, you would have a million questions and complaints.”
Fair enough.
“I do still have a few questions.” I took a deep breath and fought the flush I could feel flaming across my skin. I stood up to walk to the water, hoping the cool ocean would steady me. “He is, well, he’s a bit into domination.”
“Oh.” The single syllable was loaded with meaning. I could picture my beautiful sister pursing her lips, trying to decide how to approach this. “And are you into it, as well?”
“Yeah,” I whispered. “A bit. With him.”
“Well, I honestly never thought I would be having this conversation with my older sister. No offense, Gigi, but I also figured you for vanilla all the way.”
“Me too. But with him, it’s different. I’m different. I know it’s only a holiday affair, but I want to please him. He is almost totally cut off from everyone, cool and remote. One minute he is so tender with me, almost as if he really likes me and the next, he’s telling me to get lost.”
“He sounds like a bastard.”
I laughed. “No, he’s too well mannered to be that.”
“Your life is your life, bambina, but I do have to say it. Don’t do this just for him, BDSM isn’t something to dabble in.” Her voice was weighted and I wondered what exactly my little sister had experienced in her short twenty-two years. She had left home so young, alone and in a business that often sexually abused women.
“Miss Buchanan?”
I looked over my shoulder to see a young waiter standing hesitantly on the sand. “One second, Cosi.” I walked up the beach to address him. “Yes?”
“I’ve been asked to give you a message.” His dark eyes skimmed over my exposed curves quickly before landing on my face. At least he had the decency to blush.
I smiled warmly at him as I took the envelope. “I’m sorry, I don’t have any cash on me.”
He once again noted my bikini-clad form. “No problem, Signorita, enjoy the sun.”
With my phone tucked between my ear and my shoulder, I ripped open the envelope and sighed when I read the compact script written inside.
“What?” Cosima asked impatiently.
I fingered the letter and smiled hugely. “I have to go, my Frenchman is waiting.”
He had been waiting for me on the other end of the beach just off the shore in a small, sleek motorboat. A man offered to Jet Ski me out to him, but I ignored the offer, giving him my bag to take out to the boat while I walked into the ocean, eager to swim the distance.
Sinclair watched the entire time, his eyes a physical touch on my skin. I was a skilled swimmer and the velvety brush of the azure waters against my skin gave me confidence. When I reached the boat, I grasped the ladder and paused, tipping my head back as water streamed off me. He didn’t offer a hand as I swung onto the deck and I had to hide a giggle behind my hand when I saw the lust written across his stern face. My eyes flickered down his linen shirt to his worn denim shorts and noted the bulge there. It had only been a dozen hours since I had last seen him and yet the sight of Sinclair, strong legs braced against the rocking waves and skin kissed gold under the sun, stirred something intense inside me.
“Hello Sinclair,” I said, surprised by the huskiness of my tone.
My voice snapped him out of his trance and he strode over to me, gripping the backs of my thighs to lift me swiftly, easily into his arms. His hands were hot on my bottom and his lips were instantly on mine, sweeping possessively into my mouth. I groaned against his tongue.
“I missed you last night.” His voice heated my skin as his lips skimmed across my throat, down to my shoulder where he lightly sunk his teeth.
My heart warmed like a small furnace in my chest. God, I hadn’t realized how much I wanted to hear those words from him. I tipped my neck to the side, giving him greater access and shuddered as he took advantage, sucking and nipping on the delicate skin.
“Me too.” I sighed, sinking my fingers into his lustrous mane. “Don’t send me away again.”
“No,” he agreed, his hands flexing on my ass.
We made out like teenagers, his fingers traveling up and down my body, eager to touch every square inch while his mouth worked wonders on mine. When we finally broke apart minutes later, we were both panting. We were so close, staring at each other, that we breathed the same breath. Electricity crackled in the air between us until finally, I grinned. I watched his features crack and break out into a glorious smile. Giddiness bubbled in my chest until I couldn’t contain it and giggles frothed over. He began to laugh too, rich throaty laughter that made him squeeze his eyes shut.
We were being stupid and silly, just like teenagers fresh in lust – in love – but I didn’t care. My heart raced and I could feel my skin glow. My holiday affair had just become something so much more. And though he didn’t verbally acknowledge it, I knew somehow that Sinclair felt the same way.
“What are we doing out here?” I asked as he let me slip down his body to my feet. His erection pressed into my belly and I shivered at the familiar feel of it.
“I thought you might enjoy going snorkeling with me.” He looked down at me, a small smile lingering at his lips.
“You thought right.” I smiled, filled with happiness.
The future, those thoughts about going back to reality, where he had a girl friend and I wasn’t bold, were pushed firmly to the back of my mind. I was determined to enjoy the rest of my time with him, no matter what.
He nodded and took my hand to lead me to a small
seat beside the wheel. I realized that the resort staff had already dropped off my bag and I quickly checked on my camera. We were the only people on the boat and it appeared that Sinclair intended to drive it. He winked at me as he started the engine, obviously catching the surprise on my face.
We didn’t speak as he drove us but he looked over at me sometimes with that slight Sinclair smile. I studied him, pleased with his preoccupation. He stood easily behind the raised control panel, his legs braced and his hand loosely on the throttle. The wind whipped his chestnut hair back from his face, revealing features that were uncharacteristically soft and open. It thrilled me to know that he was relaxed in my company, enough so to shed the hardened exterior that he wore for everyone else. Was he like this with the girlfriend? I shoved the thought aside with a frown and focused on the passing coastline instead.
“Can I take your picture?” I yelled over the noise.
Sinclair frowned slightly but relented when he looked over at my eager expression. I snapped a dozen pictures of him, too many really, moving carefully across the hull to get a full frontal picture of my captain. I knew they would be beautiful photos and I was happy to have a permanent piece of him to pull out after our holiday ended.
When he turned off the engine, I looked up from my viewfinder to take in the beauty of the small cove we bobbed in. Large reddish rocks bracketed a secluded white sand beach and the water was so clear a turquoise that I could see the multitudes of fish passing by our boat as if through a magnifying glass. I looked up at Sinclair with an overexcited smile.
He placed a hand against my cheek and leaned down to press a kiss to my smiling lips. “It’s good to make my siren smile.”
I fought the urge to swoon, and won.
I shrugged. “It’s okay I guess.”
He blinked and barked with laughter. Tugging me to my feet, he swatted my rear. “Ungrateful brat.”
We continued to banter with each other as he outfitted us both with flippers, goggles and a breath piece. I shook my head at the offer of a life jacket and he took my hand as we stood at the stern of the boat, ready to jump in. He was so playful and open that it was hard to contain my enjoyment even though I knew better. Logically, I knew he was mercurial and the situation was temporary but I felt myself falling, tumbling almost brutally, certainly clumsily, in love with him.
The Affair (The Evolution Of Sin #1) Page 12