“I didn’t get to see him again, Daddy,” Dee whispered through her sobs.
“I know, princess. I know.” Dee held onto her father’s arm and buried her face in his shoulder. Her mother leaned to her and patted her on the leg as she hugged her.
Dee watched the others being given flags. She knew them all by name but didn’t really know them. The only other casualty she knew was the CHENG’s second. Commander Buckley and Gunny Howser sat together behind Commander Benjamin’s family. Dee could see Rondi’s hand turning red from Joe’s grip on it. She wanted to hold Davy’s hand like that.
As the funeral service ended, the President had long since been scurried away by the Secret Service, and the large Clydesdale horses had been led away. Only a few family members and friends remained. Dee watched Jack as he knelt over Nancy’s gravesite with a single rose in his hands. He was muttering something to his lost wife as he carefully placed the flower by her headstone.
Dee looked down at Davy’s resting place and continued to cry. All that time on the alien planet she thought it would have been her who died. She thought it would’ve been her who would be taken from Davy, and she never even knew for sure that he loved her as much as she loved him. Dee fell to her knees with her hands on her face, and she felt a hand on her shoulder. At first she thought it was her father, but she could see him farther away in her peripheral vision consoling some of the other families.
“He spoke so highly of you, Ms. Moore,” a man’s voice said from behind her. “He told us so much about you that, I’m sorry, I feel as though I know you already. I mean, other than you being the daughter of a famous president and all.”
“I’m sorry, I—” Dee turned and could see it was Rackman’s father. He held the flag in one hand, and his other was on her shoulder.
“No no, don’t be sorry,” Mr. Rackman told her solemnly. “Davy was doing what he loved and he was with the people, or person, he loved the most. He wouldn’t have had it any other way. It’s just a shame that you young people didn’t have more time for each other.”
“I loved him,” Dee said to Mr. Rackman between sobs. “Did you hear that, Davy? I’m not too chicken shit to say it now. I love you.”
“Sweetheart, he knew that. And he loved you with all his heart.” Mr. Rackman knelt beside her. “Remember him and you can love him forever. But do us all a favor and don’t let it keep you from living and loving again.”
Dee didn’t know what to say to that. She looked at Davy’s father and could see her SEAL’s eyes looking back at her. It broke her heart even more.
“Thank you, Mr. Rackman.”
“Anytime. And you can call or visit anytime you’d like.” He told her.
“Thank you. I’d like that.” She nodded and turned back to the grave and wiped the tears from her cheeks.
“I think that Davy would too,” he said. She could feel Mr. Rackman’s hand retract and heard him shuffle away behind her.
Dee stood after a long moment and forced herself to move forward. Rondi Howser and Buckley approached her and gave her a hug. Dee reciprocated, but she was numb and sort of just going through the motions. She had no idea what to say to her friends at the moment, because all she could think about was how bad she wanted to see Rackman alive and well again. And her mind raced with how much she wanted to talk to Nancy Penzington again. The grief was overwhelming. She somehow managed to make her way to DeathRay who was still kneeling over Nancy’s grave.
“I loved her like a sister, Jack,” she told him. Jack looked up at her and then stood and hugged her to him.
“She loved you like a sister too, Dee,” Jack said through sobs. “So do I.”
“We lost her, and Davy, and . . . what do we do now?” Dee asked. “I’m not sure if I have the stomach for it any longer.”
“The Chiata are still coming, Dee. This is just a small taste of what is to come.” Jack took in a long breath and then turned and nodded to Rackman’s grave. “He deserves better than to have those fucking aliens desecrate his final resting place. I know she does! If we lose Earth, they get this place and who knows what the alien bastards would do with it.” He nodded at Nancy’s grave.
“No, he doesn’t deserve that. And I guess humanity doesn’t deserve it either. I, uh, I just don’t know. I feel gut-punched.” Dee hesitated. She wasn’t sure what she felt. She just knew she was tired and so very sad. She felt like she couldn’t go on any further, but she knew that somehow she had to. “I guess somebody has to stop them, even if it means dying in the process.”
“Oh, make no mistake, Dee. We’re not gonna be doing any dying anytime soon. You understand me. We WILL not be dying anytime soon,” DeathRay told his wingman loudly and with anger, and it was enough that several heads turned and looked their way. “You don’t have to worry about that. Do you understand me?”
“How do you know that, Jack?” Dee could see Jack’s jaw tighten and the fire in his eyes. He was angry. He was turning his grief into something else and he expected her to do the same. She could see the familiar look just before they would go on an attack. DeathRay was pissed. The aliens had killed his wife. It was time for Dee to learn from her big brother and roll the grief into a fire inside her that would burn so bright that she became unstoppable, like DeathRay.
“How do I know we’re not going to be dying anytime soon, Dee? Because, Dee, you and I, well, for them,” Jack pointed at the graves and took in a snarling, deep breath. “Well, we’ve got way too many of those green alien motherfuckers to kill before dying.”
Kill Before Dying (Tau Ceti Agenda Book 5) Page 33