by Alys Clare
For some time now he had been wondering what to do. There were no easy answers, and the future was a mist. He still heard Meggie calling to him — he had heard her that morning — and now, as he stood by himself on the mountainside, he tried to send back the message that he was alive, well, and — for the moment — safe with good friends.
But when spring came and the crusade against the Cathars began again, safety would be gone. Ninian did not want to die, for he loved his Little Helewise — his Eloise — and he had promised he would return to her if it was in his power. There would be fighting; there would be danger. Ninian knew his own nature and, even loving Eloise as he did, he knew he would not be able to stand back and watch when his friends battled for their lives.
So, he thought, I will fight.
Perhaps he would fight his way out of the mountains; he did not know.
He thought of Eloise. He imagined marrying her, taking her home to some simple dwelling, lying with her, planting his seed inside her so that she bore his child. The pictures in his mind were so vivid that he believed they must be a true prediction of what lay ahead.
Before the vision could come true, though, he would have to fight.
He cleared the snow from a rock and sat down on it, gazing out across the endless mountains. He stayed there for a long time. Finally, growing cold, he realized it was time to return to the village.
He stood up, squared his shoulders, took a deep breath and said aloud, ‘I’d just better make sure I stay alive, then, hadn’t I?’
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