She swallowed and nodded, feeling very shy suddenly. Jude held out his hand to help her up to the box seat. When she placed her hand in his and felt it being enveloped by his callused fingers, a jolt of pleasure shot through her arm and bloomed over her body. The sensation was so powerful that she almost pulled her hand away, but instead she took a deep breath and allowed herself to be helped up the steps.
As they ambled along to the next station, Callie realized something. She hadn’t read Albert’s letters for two days, and her thoughts had been nearly entirely occupied by Jude. She tried, but she couldn’t find the thrill she once had over her future marriage to Albert, and now she almost dreaded their arrival in Sacramento. It meant something she didn’t like to think about: She’d have to say goodbye to Jude.
Chapter Nine: Jude’s Inquiry
They traveled five more days, resting at small swing stations most evenings, until they reached the home station in the bustling town of Cutson, New Mexico. Jude made arrangements at the local inn for three rooms, once again putting him and Callie in a room together overnight. He didn’t care about propriety when it came to that. He wouldn’t leave her alone to suffer night terrors, when something as simple as holding her in his arms provided her with relief. Of course, it was uncomfortable for him. Feeling her firm young body in his arms all night without the right to stroke and touch her was a special kind of torture. The thought of never holding her in his arms again tortured him even more.
Jude felt glad to finally be at this particular town because it had a telegraph office. He often sent telegrams to his bosses alerting them of delays and providing a status on how he, the passengers, and the stagecoach fared. This time, however, he had a much different purpose for visiting.
Upon ensuring that all passengers were comfortable and well fed, he walked the dusty half-mile to the telegraph office. The bell on the door jingled as he entered, and he greeted the man wearing a green visor at the counter. “Hello, Henry. How’s tricks?”
“Oh, not too tricky,” Henry said. “Your travels going all right?”
“Can’t complain,” Jude responded. They had this exact conversation every time Jude stopped by. His next words, however, were new. “I need to send a telegram to the marshal in Sacramento.”
Henry’s eyebrows shot up. “You experiencing trouble of some sort?”
“No, no,” Jude said impatiently, not wishing to discuss his motives. “Nothing like that. I’ve just got a general question about a man who lives there.”
Henry nodded and handed him a pencil and paper. “You know the drill. Twenty-five cents for ten words.”
Jude wrote his message on the slip of paper. He’d already penned it in his head.
I respectfully inquire into the age and financial circumstances of a certain Albert Smith
As Jude handed three quarters to Henry, he thought about how truly difficult life could be for a young woman like Callie, without means to send a simple inquiry. If she’d had the money, she might have gained important information before setting out on her journey, enough to prevent her from making a horrible mistake. His heart constricted painfully at the thought of her marrying someone who didn’t deserve her or, even worse, someone who mistreated her. In addition to whatever information the marshal provided, Jude fully intended to discover everything there was to know about Albert Smith upon their arrival in Sacramento. If anything was amiss, he would see to it that Callie didn’t go through with the wedding.
* * *
Callie turned up the oil lamp and slipped into bed. It was dark but for the low light. Jude hadn’t yet returned from an errand he said he must attend to, and she found herself unable to sleep and yearning for him to be in bed with her. She thought about the progression of her friendship with Jude. Never had she felt so safe and content as the nights when Jude held her. Although she had teased him about his snoring, it brought tremendous comfort to her. She wondered if Albert snored. Would it feel as good to lie in bed with his arms around her?
She didn’t particularly want to think about that, so her mind wandered back to thoughts of Jude. She imagined lying over his lap naked while his hand stroked the length of her body, from the nape of her neck down to her bottom and backs of her thighs. The spankings he’d given her had hurt at the time, but she liked remembering and fantasizing about them. Jude looked handsome even when he was angry—perhaps especially then. His dark eyes flashed and his firm jaw became impossibly harder. Then there was his voice when he scolded her before and during a spanking. It was deep and serious, yet still gentle, leaving her feeling both contrite and cared for at the same time.
She ran her hand up her inner thighs and squeezed her eyes shut as she imagined what would happen if she lost her temper and told Jude she hated him again. He would surely make good on his threat to spank her bare bottom.
“That’s it!” he would declare, peeling off his suede driving gloves and slapping them on the table. Her mind’s eye watched him cross the room to the bed with thunderous strides. He sat down and crooked his finger. “Come here, young lady. It’s time for that spanking I promised you.” His voice was stern, but she saw a twinkle in his eye.
She took slow steps in his direction. His hands looked so big, each one splayed over a denim-clad knee. Standing in front of him, she gazed at him sorrowfully and covered her behind with her palms. “I didn’t mean it, Jude. Are you going to spank me hard?”
One of his giant hands wrapped around her arm and pulled her into that vulnerable position over his lap. When settled, her fluttering tummy pressed against his thigh, and she gasped as he slipped her drawers off her bottom and slid them down her legs. Landing a firm swat across both naked cheeks, he said, “Only as hard as you deserve.” His hand descended, again and again, and the sound of bare flesh being struck by a determined palm echoed in her ears.
The spanking would sting, and the sting would become more intense the longer he kept at it. She would try to wiggle away, but a hand anchored around her waist would prevent her from doing so.
“How would you like it if I said I hated you, hmm?” he scolded, smacking each cheek harder.
“I wouldn’t like it one bit, Jude. I’m sorry! I’ll never say it again.”
“No, you won’t,” he agreed, and maneuvered his punishing hand to her thighs to land a few sound swats on each one. “Otherwise, you’ll be right back over my knee for another spanking on this naughty bottom of yours. Understand?”
“Yes, Jude.” She fantasized that she felt meek from the chastisement and longed for him to be pleased with her again.
With one final swat, the punishment ended. His hand loosened from around her waist, and he massaged her lower back with his thumb, while the callused fingers of his other hand trailed up and down each burning globe. “What happens when you misbehave, eh, Callie?”
“You spank me.”
She realized she said those words out loud in the empty hotel room, and her face heated. Her breathing was shallow and she became aware of a pulsing between her legs. Imagining it was Jude’s hand stroking between her legs while she lay sprawled over his lap after punishment, she dipped her hand under her drawers and slipped two fingers between the slick folds of her womanhood. Gasping when she flicked her sensitive nub, she focused on that spot and rubbed with vigor, all the while pretending that it was Jude touching her intimately.
Unaware of anything but the pleasure, she didn’t hear the door of the hotel room open. As the wave of warmth caused her body to spasm and her back to arch, she caught Jude’s movement out of the corner of her eye. She locked eyes with him and screamed, both from mortification and from her release.
Beyond embarrassed and afraid of what he might think of her, she threw the quilt over her face and remained silent, hoping he would forget what he’d just walked in on and not breathe a word of it. Of course, that was not to be.
“I�
�m sorry to interrupt,” he said wryly.
She moaned. Her voice muffled by the quilt, she said, “Please forget what you saw, Jude.”
“I heard it more than I saw it.” She detected amusement in his voice, though she could tell he was trying to sound stern. “That’s very naughty behavior. Tell me, who were you thinking of while you pleasured yourself in that way? Me?”
The tease in his voice infuriated her, as did his presumptiveness. “Of course not! I would never! How could you even think that?” she shouted from underneath her blanket.
He laughed. “There’s a saying I learned in school, something about how the lady doth protest too much.”
Callie pushed the quilt away from her face and glared at him. “How did you know I was thinking of you?” she demanded.
Jude’s eyes widened with surprise. He coughed in an attempt to muffle a laugh and raked his fingers through his hair. “Criminy, Callie. I didn’t, until just now.” He walked to the basin on the dresser across the room from the bed, where he washed his hands and splashed water on his face.
Callie groaned when she realized that she’d just shared way more than she should have. She watched him lie on the floor next to the bed. He reclined on his back and covered his face with the crook of his elbow as though he couldn’t bear to look at her.
Callie felt miserable. “Do you think less of me, Jude? Do you think I’m a wanton woman?”
“No,” he said gruffly. “Go to sleep.”
She didn’t believe him, and there was no way she could sleep. “If you don’t think less of me, why are you lying on the floor instead of holding me like you’ve been doing up to now?”
“Because I’m a man,” he responded, as though that answered the question.
When the silence that followed made it clear he wasn’t going to expound on that explanation, she spoke again. “But I don’t understand,” she said, raising her voice with emotion. “What does that have to do with anything?”
Jude removed his arm from his face and looked over at her with a strange intensity in his eyes. “If I lie in bed with you, I’ll want to give you more pleasure and also derive pleasure from you. It’s not proper for unmarried folks, and I don’t want to take advantage. Surely you’re not so innocent that you can’t understand that.”
His words caused her longing and ache to resume. “You want to touch me? Down there?” she asked breathily.
He groaned and looked at the ceiling. “Please go to sleep, Callie.”
It was unusual for him to request something from her without ordering it. It almost sounded like he was begging her, and she felt disconcerted as well as embarrassed. She sighed, not tired in the least, and gazed at the flame of the lamp until it flickered out.
The darkness that suddenly surrounded her crowded out her concern and embarrassment. She felt the familiar rise of panic, which pooled in her throat and led to a wave of nausea. Jude hadn’t fallen asleep. She knew this because he wasn’t snoring. If he had been, she might have been able to contain the panic. Reverting to how she coped before meeting Jude, she began to hum. It didn’t calm her nearly as much as when Jude held her, but it kept the panic from growing to a point where she felt she might scream.
Callie heard Jude stirring, so she stopped humming.
“Callie,” he said softly. “I’ve changed my mind. I’m going to join you in bed, so don’t be startled.”
She felt the bed depress and soon after, her back was tucked into his chest and his arms were around her. A wave of happiness and relief washed over her. He didn’t think badly of her after all. “What made you change your mind?”
He brushed some of her hair aside and kissed the shell of her ear. His kiss caused her skin to tingle and her ache between her legs to pulse. She pressed into him harder, needing to feel as much of him as possible.
“I can’t bear to know you’re scared. I want to make you feel safe.”
His simple statement brought her comfort and caused her to remember what Annie had told her. Maybe Jude really was sweet on her. If so, would he propose that she marry him instead of Albert? She hoped so, but after thinking on it, she knew he wouldn’t. Not in a million years. Jude wouldn’t think it proper to break up her engagement with another man. She recalled Jude’s words, which as much as guaranteed he wouldn’t act on any feelings he might have for her. When it’s hardest to be a good person, that’s when it’s most important.
* * *
As the days passed, Jude noticed that the passengers had come to like Callie, except for the senator, who still regarded her with disdain. Even the senator’s wife had softened considerably toward the girl. On one of their stops, Jude walked with Callie for a spell, chatting and enjoying her company. Callie had been spending time with the others in the coach, while Annie had joined him in the box, and he missed talking to her. He knew he should get used to being without her company, since he would be saying goodbye to her soon, but he didn’t want to think about that.
By this time, Callie was agreeable to sharing the box seat and didn’t behave sullenly about it. “I’m real proud of you for having a good attitude, darlin’,” he told her. “Seems like you grew from a child to a woman right before my eyes.”
She shrugged, seeming uncomfortable by his praise. “I don’t want another spanking. You pack a hard wallop.”
He chuckled. “If it’s fear of punishment that keeps you on the straight and narrow, so be it, although I hope someday you’ll actually want to behave properly.”
She glanced over at him and smiled. “I do want to behave, Jude. I also want to make you happy. I’ve thought a lot about what you’ve told me, about keeping my word and treating people with respect.”
He smiled back at her. “I can see that. You’re a fine lady, Callie. Plus you’re smart as a whip and cute as a button.”
She laughed her little musical laugh. “My goodness, Jude,” Callie said in a teasing voice. “So many compliments. If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were sweet on me.”
Her eyes seemed to linger on his face for longer than normal after making that statement. Jude stared back at her, unsure of what to say. He thought about confessing to her right then and there that he was indeed sweet on her, but he decided against it. There was no point in her knowing. He had lectured Callie about how it was wrong to steal. Stealing another man’s woman would make him the world’s greatest hypocrite, and he’d already decided he would only whisk Callie away if her intended wasn’t who he said he was.
He changed the subject. “Are you getting along all right with Senator Tucker?”
“Yes,” she said, sobering. “He still hates me though.”
Jude figured as much, and wasn’t happy with the news, but he reckoned there wasn’t much he could do about it. However, a couple of days later, he wished he had spoken with the senator and warned him against doing anything malicious toward Callie. An admonishment might have stopped him from stealing and getting rid of her only belongings—the suede pouch, her mother’s brooch, Sam’s lucky penny, and the letters from Albert. Of course, no one could prove that the senator had stolen Callie’s things, but no one had any doubts about who had done it either. It was a hurtful move that unsettled everyone and devastated Callie.
They had stopped briefly to rest the horses, and Jude was first alerted to the problem when he heard Callie’s anguished cry. “I have to find it!”
“All right, dear, all right. Let me help you look,” Annie said. “It must be here somewhere.” She lifted the shawl that laid across one of the coach seats.
“It’s not anywhere in the coach,” Callie said, her voice rising in a panic. “I already looked.”
Jude walked over and joined Annie in her search for the satchel, just to double-check. They looked over every inch of the coach and checked the few nooks and crannies more than once. Jude had a horrible suspicion about what happened, but he desperately hoped he was wrong. He rubbed the back of his neck. “Do you reckon you left it at the last station?”
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br /> “No, Jude. I always keep it tied to me! It must have been stolen while I dozed off during the last stretch.” She turned accusing eyes on the senator, who was leaning casually against the coach, observing the scene.
“I know you took it,” she said in a low, trembling voice.
The senator’s face twisted into a mean smirk. “Just because you’re inclined to steal doesn’t mean the rest of us are.”
Callie raised her voice. “I gave your watch back. I did the right thing!”
Jude’s spirits were low. He guessed that the senator had not only stolen Callie’s pouch, he’d also ditched it somewhere behind them on the line. “Look, Senator, if you were meaning to teach Callie a lesson, you’ve made your point. Give the pouch back to her now.”
The senator focused his contemptuous gaze on Jude. His next words confirmed Jude’s fear. “Let’s suppose for a minute that I did take the girl’s worthless belongings off her hands. You really think I’d still have them? I’d rather hold on to a mangy mutt than keep her stinking satchel near my person.”
“That was everything I owned in the world!” Callie shouted. Her voice shook with fury. “You’d better watch your back, you shit-eating, miserly old sycher. I swear I’ll slit your throat in your sleep.”
Mrs. Tucker gasped and Annie held the back of her hand to her forehead. “Sakes alive.” Billy looked incredibly uncomfortable. Jude doubted Billy had ever heard such language outside of a saloon, and he was reasonably certain the ladies hadn’t ever heard those words spoken aloud anywhere.
“That’s enough, Callie,” Jude said sternly.
“I’ll saw off your dick and feed it to the coyotes,” she continued, tears streaming down her face. “You’ll be sorry, you bastard. I’ll make you so sorry.”
Callie was growing more hysterical. Jude reached out and took hold of her arm. He needed to get her away from the other passengers and calm her down. “I’m just going to have a talk with Callie. We’ll be on our way in a few minutes,” he informed the others. He led Callie around the corner.
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