“I know you say you choose to be here,” she said, “but you have a family and work obligations. I must be a distraction. Please don’t be concerned. I’m very capable of entertaining myself. How could I not enjoy my time on this beautiful island?”
“Ah, but if you remain alone, you will never be able to visit Lucia’s Point.”
She ducked her head as heat flared on her cheeks. Lucia’s Point—the place for lovers. It seemed unlikely that she would be visiting that particular spot on this trip.
A horrifying thought occurred to her. She tried to push it away, but it refused to budge. Then she found herself actually voicing it aloud as she risked looking at him.
“You have four sons, Mazin. Do you see me as the daughter you never had?”
He released her hands at once. She didn’t know what that meant, but she was aware of his dark eyes brightening with many emotions. None of them seemed paternal.
“Do you see me as the father you never had?”
Her blush deepened. “No,” she whispered. “I never thought of that.”
“I do not think of you as a child, especially not my own. On the contrary. I see you very much as a woman.”
“Do you? I want to believe you, but I’ve lived such a small life.”
“It is the quality of one’s life that matters.”
“Easy to say when you had your first affair at seventeen,” she blurted before she could stop herself. She pressed her fingers to her mouth, horrified, but Mazin only laughed.
“An interesting point. Come. We will walk to the ballroom. When we are there, I will tell you all about my affair with the ever-beautiful Carnie.”
“She was an actress,” Mazin said ten minutes later as they strolled through a vast open area.
Tall, slender windows let in light. Dozens of candelabras hung from an arched ceiling. There was a stage in one corner, probably for an orchestra, and enough space to hold a football game.
Phoebe tried to imagine the room filled with people dressed in their finest, dancing the night away, but she was still caught up in his description of his first mistress as “ever beautiful.”
“Was she very lovely?” she asked before she could stop herself.
“Yes. Her face and body were perfection. However, she had a cold heart. I learned very quickly that I was more interested in a woman’s inner beauty than her outside perfection.”
His statement made her feel better. Phoebe knew that in a competition of straight looks, she wouldn’t have a chance, but she thought her heart would stand up all right.
“We met when the film company came here to shoot part of a movie. She was an older woman—nearly twenty-two. I was very impressed with myself at the time and determined to have her.”
She didn’t doubt he’d achieved his goal. “What happened when you found out she was pregnant?”
He took her hand in his. The pressure of his palm against her, the feel of their fingers laced together nearly distracted her from his words.
“She was upset. I don’t know if she’d hoped for marriage, but it was out of the question. My father…” He hesitated. “The family did not approve. We had money, so an offer was made. She accepted.”
Phoebe stared at him. “Didn’t you love her?”
“Perhaps for the first few weeks, but it faded. When I found out about the child, I wanted my son, but I didn’t think Carnie and I had much chance at happiness. She stayed long enough to have the baby, then left.”
“I could never do that,” Phoebe said, completely shocked by Carnie’s behavior. “I would never give up my child. I don’t care how much money was involved.”
Mazin shrugged. “I don’t think my father gave her much choice.”
“That wouldn’t matter. I would stand up against anyone. I’d go into hiding.”
“Carnie preferred the cash.”
Mazin heard the harshness in his voice. Most of the time he was at peace with his former lover, but occasionally he despised her for what she had done, even though it had made his life simpler.
“Is she still alive?”
“Yes, but she rarely sees her son. It is better that way.”
He watched the play of emotions across Phoebe’s face. She was so easy to read. She was outraged by Carnie’s decision, yet it went against her nature to judge anyone negatively. Her wide mouth trembled slightly at the corners and her delicate brows drew together as she tried to reconcile harsh facts with her gentle nature.
She was a good person. He couldn’t say that very often, not with certainty. She wanted nothing from him, save his company. Their time was a balm and he found himself in need of the healing only she could provide. Being with her made him quiet and content. Two very rare commodities in his life.
She had been startled by Dabir’s sudden appearance. Mazin had been, as well, but for different reasons. He had seen something as he’d watched her. Over the past six years he had become an expert at judging a woman’s reaction to his children. Some pretended to like them because they wanted to be his wife. Some genuinely enjoyed the company of children. He put Phoebe in the latter category.
He liked her. Mazin couldn’t remember the last time he had simply liked a woman. He also wanted her. The combination caused more than a little discomfort. Because he cared about her, he refused to push her into his bed, which was exactly where he wanted her to be. Holding back was not his style, yet this time it felt right.
She was different from anyone he’d ever known. He suspected she would say the same about him.
“Phoebe, you must know I’m a rich man,” he said.
She bit her bottom lip. “I sort of figured that out.”
“Does that bother you?”
“A little.”
She glanced at him. Her long blond hair fell down her back. He wanted to capture it in his hands and feel the warm silk of the honeyed strands. He wanted many things.
“I don’t understand why you spend time with me,” she said in a rush. “I like being with you, but I worry that you’re bored.”
He smiled. “Never. Do you remember yesterday when we went to see the meerkats?”
“Yes?”
“You fed them their lunch of fruits and vegetables. You were patient, feeding each in its turn, never tired.”
She sighed. “They were wonderful. So cute and funny. I could watch them for hours. I love how they stand guard, watching out for each other.”
“You told me you’d seen a show about African meerkats and how one was burned in a fire.”
She stopped walking. He moved to stand in front of her. As they had the previous day, her eyes filled up with tears.
“It tried to stand guard, but couldn’t,” she whispered. “They all huddled around it. Then a couple of days later, it left the group and went off to die.”
A single tear rolled down her cheek. Mazin touched it with his finger “Tears for a meerkat. What would you give to a child in need?”
“I don’t understand the question.”
“I know, but these tears are why I am not bored with you.”
She sniffed. “You’re making absolutely no sense.”
He laughed. “You would find others to agree with you. So tell me, what do you want from your life?”
Her blue eyes widened slightly. “Me? Nothing special. I’d like children. Three or four, at least. And a house. But before any of that, I want to get my degree.”
“In what?”
“Nursing. I like taking care of people.”
He remembered her dying aunt. Yes, Phoebe would do well with the sick.
“I would like—” She shook her head. “Sorry. This can’t be interesting. My dreams are very small and ordinary. Like I said, a small life. I’m not sure there’s all that much quality there.”
“On the contrary. You have much to recommend you.”
Then, against his better judgment, he pulled her close.
She came willingly into his arms, as he had known she would. Her body pressed
against him, her arms wrapped around him. She raised her head in a silent offering, and he did not have the strength of will to deny her.
He touched his mouth to hers. This time she responded eagerly, kissing him back. He kept the contact light, because if he took what he really wanted, they would make love here in the public rooms of the castle. So he nipped at her lower lip and trailed kisses along her jaw. He slid his hands up and down her back, careful to avoid the tempting curves of her rear.
Her breathing accelerated as he licked the hollow of her throat. She wore a dress with a slightly scooped neck. The thrust of her small breasts called to him. It would be so easy to move lower. He could see the outline of her tight nipples straining against the fabric of her clothing. Desire filled him with an intensity that made him ache.
Good sense won. He returned his attentions to her mouth. She parted in invitation. He might be able to resist her other temptations, but not that one. He had to taste her sweetness one more time.
He plunged into her. She accepted his conquest and began an assault of her own. Just once, he thought hazily, and slipped his hand onto the curve of her hip. She responded by drawing closer, pressing her breasts against his chest and breathing his name.
Mazin swore. Phoebe was very much an innocent, and she didn’t know what she was offering.
He wanted her and he couldn’t have her. Not only because she was a virgin, but because he hadn’t told her the truth about everything. At first he’d withheld the information because it had amused him. Now he found he didn’t want her to know.
He forced himself to pull back. They were both breathing heavily. Phoebe smiled at him.
“You’ve probably heard this a thousand times before,” she said, “but you’re a really good kisser.”
He laughed. “As are you.”
“If I am, it’s because of you.”
The blush of arousal stained her cheeks; her lips were swollen. Her beauty touched him deep in his soul. He wanted to see her in diamonds and satin.
He wanted to see her in nothing at all.
“What are you thinking?” she asked.
“That you are an unexpected delight in my life.”
Her blue eyes darkened with emotion that he didn’t want to read. Slowly, tentatively she touched his mouth with her fingertip. Her breath caught in her throat.
“What do you want from me, Mazin?”
He found himself compelled to speak the truth. “I don’t know.”
Six
Phoebe pulled a chair close to the balcony and stared out at the stars. The balmy night air brushed against her bare arms, making her tremble slightly, although she couldn’t say why. It wasn’t that she was cold or even fearful. She knew in her heart that nothing bad could happen while she was on the island.
Perhaps it was the memory of Mazin’s kiss that made her unable to keep still. Something had happened that afternoon when he’d taken her in his arms. She’d seen something in his eyes, something that had made her think this might not just be a game to him. His inability to tell her what he wanted from her made her both happy and nervous. One of them had to know what was going on, and she didn’t have a clue. Which left Mazin.
She pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs. Her long white cotton nightgown fluttered in the breeze.
There had been a difference in his kiss today. An intensity that had shaken her to her core. Did he want her that way? Did he want to make love with her? Did she want to make love with him?
He was not the man she had fantasized about. In her mind, Mazin had no life, save that time he spent with her. Now she knew that he had been a husband. He was a father, with four sons. He had a life that didn’t include her, and when she was gone, he would return to it as if she’d never been here at all.
Were all his sons like Dabir? She smiled at the memory of the bright, loving little boy. Spending time with him would be a joy.
Several years of babysitting had taught her to assess a child very quickly. Dabir would no doubt get into plenty of trouble, but he had a generous heart and a sense of fun. She bit her lower lip. One child would be easy, but four? Worse, Mazin’s oldest was only a few years younger than she was. The thought made her shiver. Not that Mazin’s children were going to be an issue, she reminded herself.
Phoebe stared up at the stars, but the night skies didn’t hint at how long until Mazin grew tired of her, nor did they whisper his intent. Instead of meeting her during the day tomorrow, Mazin had arranged for them to spend the evening together. Somehow the change of time made her both excited and nervous.
No matter what, she told herself, she would never have regrets. Just as Ayanna had made her promise.
Moonlight sparkled on the ever-shifting ocean. Phoebe breathed in the scent of sea spray and nearby flowers. Whatever else might happen in her life, she would remember this night forever.
Mazin sat across from her, handsome as always. Tonight he wore a suit, making her glad she’d spent more than she should have for a pretty blouse in the hotel boutique. Her slim black skirt had seen better days, but it was serviceable enough. After nearly an hour of fussing with her hair, she’d managed to pin it up into a French twist. She felt almost sophisticated. Something she would need to counteract the effect of Mazin’s attraction by moonlight.
“I feel a little guilty,” she said as the waiter poured from the wine bottle.
“Why?” Mazin asked when the waiter had left and they were alone. “Have you done something you should not have done?”
“No.” She smiled. “But it’s evening. You should be home with your family.”
“Ah. You are thinking of my children.”
Among other things, she thought, hoping he couldn’t read her mind and know how many times she had relived their kisses.
“Dabir, especially,” she murmured. “Wouldn’t you rather be home, tucking him in bed?”
Mazin dismissed her with a shake of his head. “He is six. Far too old to be tucked in bed by his father.”
“He’s practically a baby, not a teenager.”
Mazin frowned. “I had not thought he would still need that sort of attention. He has Nana to take care of him.”
“That’s not the same as having you around.”
“Are you trying to get rid of me?”
“Not at all. I just don’t want you to take time away from them to be with me. I know if I had children, I would want to be with them always.”
One corner of his mouth turned up. “What of your husband’s needs for you? Would they not come first?”
“I think he’d have to learn to compromise.”
Mazin’s humor turned to surprise. “It is the children and the wife who must compromise.” He shrugged. “Most of the time. I was married long enough to have learned that on rare occasions the man does not come first.”
“I should think not.” She leaned toward him. “Tell me about your sons.”
“Why do I sense you are more interested in them than in me?”
“I’m not. It’s just…” She hesitated, then decided there was no point in avoiding the truth. “I find the subject of your children very safe.”
“Because I am unsafe?”
Rather than answer, she took a sip of her wine.
He chuckled and reached forward, capturing her free hand in his. “I know you, my dove. I have learned to read you when you avoid my eyes and busy yourself with a task. You do not wish to respond to my question. Now my job is to learn why.”
He studied her, his dark eyes unreadable. She wished she could know him as well as he seemed to know her.
“Why do you fear me?” he asked unexpectedly.
Phoebe was so surprised that she straightened, pulling her hand free of his. She clutched her fingers together on her lap.
“I’m not afraid.” She bit her lower lip. “Well, not too afraid,” she added, because she’d never been much of a liar. “It’s just that you’re different from anyone I’ve ever met. You�
��re very charming, but also intimidating. I’m out of my element with you.”
“Not so very far.” He patted the table. “Put your hand here so that I may touch you.”
He spoke matter-of-factly, but his words made her whole body shiver. She managed to slide her hand over to his, where he linked their fingers together. He felt strong and warm. He made her feel safe, which was odd because he was the reason she felt out of sorts in the first place.
“See?” he said. “We fit together well.”
“I don’t think that’s true. I don’t know why you spend so much time with me. I can’t be anything like the other women in your life.”
Now it was his turn to stiffen. He didn’t pull his hand away, but ice crept into his gaze. “What other women?” he asked curtly. “What are you talking about?”
She sensed that she had insulted him. “Mazin, I didn’t mean anything specific. Just that I can see that you’re a handsome, successful man. There must be dozens of women throwing themselves at you all the time. I have this picture of you having to step over them wherever you go.”
She wanted to say more, but her throat tightened at the thought of him being with anyone else, even though it probably happened all the time.
“Do not worry, my dove,” he said softly. “I have forgotten them all.”
For how long?
She only thought the question. There was no point in asking. After all, Mazin might tell her the truth, and that would hurt her.
“I can see you do not believe me,” he said, releasing her fingers. “To prove myself, I have brought you something.”
He snapped his fingers. Their waiter appeared, but instead of bringing menus, he carried a large flat box. Mazin took it from him and handed it to her.
“Do not say you can’t accept until you have opened it. Because I know in my heart that once you see my offering, you won’t be able to refuse it.”
“Then I should refuse it before I see it,” she said.
“That is not allowed.”
Phoebe lightly touched the gold paper around the box. She tried to imagine what could be inside. Not jewelry. The box was far too big—at least eighteen inches by twelve. Not clothes—the box was too slender.
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