"That's such a cop out, Zack. I think we'd be good together. Why not?"
"I can think of a million reasons, starting with the fact that you're an innocent, virgin little girl who doesn't know what the hell she's getting herself into with a guy like me."
"Oh, please! There's another cop out. I know exactly what I'm getting into with a guy like you." The waitress sat plates in front of us but I didn't even acknowledge her. "I'm at your house three or four nights a week hanging out, stupid. What's there to know that I haven't already been exposed to?"
"Meredith, you have to understand that this is coming out of left field for me. I started the night thinking you were going out with that guy Charles and I was meeting Celeste, and as far as our little arrangement goes, I honestly thought you'd call it off before it happened."
"Don't you think we could give it a shot? See what happens?"
Zack just stared straight ahead, looking angry that he was being put into a position to answer a question like that. I had a problem with saying exactly what was on my mind, and obviously it had been too much for Zack. "Saturday May thirtieth," I said.
"What?"
"May thirtieth. It's a Saturday. It's the day we're supposed to, uh, you know. Anyway, it's thirty-four days away. And if you're still planning on following through, I was thinking we could meet at Gretchen and Joel's place in the woods. My brother has a key to it, and it's really beautiful and private out there."
"I have a key too, but I don't know why we need to go out there. It's not like my house isn't private."
"It's just really beautiful and picturesque out there, and well, you know with it being my first time and everything…"
There might as well have been crickets chirping in the background. Zack was utterly silent at the reminder that we were casually scheduling an appointment for my deflowerification.
Our conversation was slightly uncomfortable from that point on. We weren't full-blown awkward with each other, but it was close. I was relatively sure that my love confession (clumsy as it was) was not what Zack wanted to hear. I assumed it had something to do with that girl Celeste, which hurt. I tried to remind myself that Zack had never promised me anything, but those types of thoughts never seem to remove the sting. We finished at the diner, Zack signed a few autographs then he dropped me off at my apartment. He asked if I wanted him to come up, but I knew he was just being nice, so I told him I'd be seeing him sometime soon for movie night. I didn't really mean it. I wasn't planning on going to his house until I sorted through these God-forsaken feelings.
****
The next few days were huge for me professionally. Okay, maybe that's a little dramatic, but I wrote an action scene for Caleb's character Ashton that Max decided to use, and it was being filmed that Wednesday.
For now, I would keep my current position as P.A. while Max continued to evaluate me to see where I could be used, but he was ready and willing to use me as a freelance writer if I submitted work that was worthy of being on the show. This week he was putting his money where his mouth was. He was really impressed with the scene I submitted for Caleb's character, and told me he was excited to use it.
It translated into a fifteen hundred dollar bump on my next paycheck, and of course, writing credits at the end the show. I'd been watching the show since I was a little girl, and I was so excited to have my name listed on the show's credits. Head P.A.'s like Kermit had their names on there, but my name hadn't been included until now. I was planning on DVRing the episode my scene was in so I could watch those credits as many times as I wanted.
Max seemed to think that I had amazing potential as both a writer and a producer, and I didn't know what gave me more joy—feeling like I might just make something of myself, or like I might just prove my mother wrong. A few times since I'd been working on P.I., I'd called my mom and tried to keep her informed on how I was doing. I was really positive about the whole thing, and even though she and I had our moments, I ultimately expected her to be rooting for me. Unfortunately, that didn't happen. Once, when I told her Max was going to let me write freelance if I came up with anything he could use, she told me I shouldn't waste my free time writing, that if I had so much free time, I should just get another part time job with a temp agency, because at least then I'd make a little money.
Then, another time, I gave her a scene I'd written to check out. Waiting to hear what she thought of it was probably the most awkward I'd ever been with my mom. Instead of just reading it like a normal person, she read it and wrote down her thoughts about it in an email. She wrote things like "this scene could possibly spark a discussion about the dangers of drugs and alcohol" and other weird, vague comments like that. I thought she maybe meant the comments to be positive, but I couldn't quite tell with the way she worded them. She never once said anything you'd think a mother would say like "I thought it was a really cool scene," or "good job for trying to make something of yourself, Meredith." All I got was a vague email that was written like an emotionless critic. Oh well. Her lack of support didn’t stop me. If anything, it made me push harder.
That being said, as a result of my mom's total sketchiness in regards to my ambitions, she had absolutely no idea that Max Mitchell had bought that scene from me, and it was being filmed that week. I knew she watched the show faithfully, and wondered how she would feel when the scene she "commented on" in that email was on screen in front of her. I certainly didn’t enjoy knowing she'd be shocked by it—in fact it was the opposite. I wished it were something she'd want to celebrate with me.
"I can't believe we're filming your scene today you rock star," I heard from behind me. I turned to see the gorgeous Caleb Scott approaching. I showed up really early on account of the nerves, and Caleb was one of the first ones to get there besides me. The scene was being filmed in a bar, and was supposed to take place after a night of drinking. I wanted to ask him what he was doing there so early, but that was secondary to the information I really wanted to know.
"Do you like it?" I asked, hopefully.
"I love it," he said. "I've been in a few fights on the show, but I love the dialogue leading into it. Working with breakaway tables is always a bonus too." He sat in the director chair for makeup even though the hair and makeup team wasn't there yet. "Seems like L.A.'s treating you pretty good if you just started work and I'm already memorizing lines you wrote."
"I'm just thankful Max was willing to give me a shot," I said. "And the writing's just freelance right now. As of now, my job description still includes picking up your dry cleaning."
"Not for long with that kind of hustle," he said sweetly.
Then suddenly, the thought of Caleb and how super sweet he was gave me a brand new, amazing, stupendous idea. If I could get Caleb to sleep with me, I'd be killing two birds with one stone. One, I'd be learning the ropes from a playa who was at least as skilled as Zack. And two, it would take the pressure of the whole virgin thing off of Zack, which would maybe, just maybe, make him reconsider giving things a go between us. After all, one of his complaints was that I was too good for him. If I took being a virgin out of the equation, he might be willing to consider me his equal.
"Caleb, can I ask you a crazy question?"
"All ears, Baby Girl."
"Will you teach me how to have sex?"
He laughed like I was joking, but quickly stopped himself when I didn't crack a smile. "You're serious?"
"Yeah, I'm serious. I'm a virgin and I want to learn how to do it right from someone I like and trust. No strings attached, I promise." I smiled on the inside when I said that, thinking about how I'd said the exact same thing to Zack before I changed my mind and started liking him for reals. "You can take some time to think about it if—"
"Hell yeah I'll teach you Baby Girl. What's to think about?"
"Really? Just like that? You don't want to make me wait a few months or anything to make sure I'm sure."
"Why would I want to make you wait? You're a grown woman who writes for a hit show. I
figured you wouldn't ask me something like that unless you were sure."
I was trying to remain calm on the outside, but on the inside, I was doing flips. I couldn't quite tell if the butterflies were a result of excitement or nervousness but either way, I was reeling at his willingness.
"So what?" I asked, still trying to seem cool and collected. "Can I just name a time and place?"
Caleb looked at his watch. "I got time right after I'm done with this scene, baby." He settled back into the chair, the picture of confidence.
A wide smile spread across my face at how easy that whole process had been. And honestly, I didn’t for a second, regret asking him. I wasn't convinced that I'd be ready to go for it in the next two hours, but I was certainly relieved that Caleb was ready and willing to help me out.
We still had twenty minutes before preproduction was scheduled to start, and Caleb was just sitting there looking down at his phone.
"Hey," I said, "I have a few texts I need to take care of. If Max shows up and starts looking for me, tell him I'm in wardrobe."
One of the larger wardrobe storage rooms happened to be located right next to the bar where we were filming the scene, and I figured I could find a quiet corner there since people were about to start showing up to the set. It had been a few days since I talked to Zack and I couldn't wait to let him know he didn't have to help me out anymore.
In an ideal world, the news of my new arrangement with Caleb would push Zack to have a change of heart, but even if that didn't happen I had a really hot soap opera star that was willing to let me cry on his shoulder so to speak.
Me: "Hey Zack. Good news. It's the text you've been waiting for. You're off the hook. No worries about following through next month. I found someone else to help me out."
I didn't expect to hear back from him since it was just after noon and I knew he was usually doing physical therapy at that time. I just had to get it off my chest. Even though I thought hearing back from him was a long shot, I still gave it four or five minutes before deciding to head back next door. I was in the hallway between sets when my phone vibrated in my pocket. I got really nervous and anxious as I fished my phone from the back pocket of my jeans. My hand shook as I read his words.
Zack: "Hello to you too. Haha. I'll be honest with you. I'm not really okay with this news. Is this something you've already done?"
Oh my God! I absolutely loved it that Zack said he wasn't okay with the news, even though I didn't really know exactly what that meant. I had to make myself take a few deep breaths before I could think of how to respond.
Me: "Not yet. Trying to see if we can make it happen after work today. Just wanted you to know since I figured you'd be relieved."
Seconds later, my phone rang.
Chapter 20
Zack
I stared down at the words on the screen of my phone. Meredith Blake had just told me that I was off the hook with the student-teacher thing next month, and I should have been relieved at the news. There was no room for relief in my mind, though, because all I could think was, "Like hell she's just gonna text me and call it off like that," and "what kind of punk-ass piece of shit does she think she's replacing me with?"
Without hesitation, I pressed the call button at the top of my text screen. I put the phone to my ear and waited for Meredith to pick up.
Meredith: "What?"
She was whispering, which made me sort of want to whisper too in spite of the fact that I was at home alone. I resisted the urge and responded in normal volume.
Me: "Don't act like you don't know why I'm calling. What are you thinking texting me like that in the middle of the day? I thought when I saw your name on my screen that the message was gonna say, thanks for the flowers Zack. But no! Instead I read about your plans to ride some cock after work today."
Meredith: "What flowers?"
Me: "I had some sent up there because they're filming your scene today. I remembered you saying they were doing it on Wednesday. But that's not really important compared to all the cock-riding you have planned later."
Meredith: "Quit calling it that. And you're the one whose been saying this whole time that you wanted me to cancel anyway, so I can't understand why you're not overjoyed right now."
Me: "Well, just so we're clear, I'm not even close to overjoyed. In fact, I need you to promise me right now while I have you on the phone that you're not going to do anything stupid today."
Meredith: "Well, obviously I don't think sleeping with Caleb is stupid, Zack, or I wouldn't have made plans to do it."
Me: "It's Caleb? I knew it. Sleeping with Caleb is stupid Meredith, and I'm seriously gonna kick both of your asses if you go through with it."
Meredith: "I have to go. We're filming in a few minutes and they've come in here three times looking for me."
I could tell by the way she was speaking that she was probably huddled in a dark corner somewhere.
Me: "Meredith, come to my house after work."
Meredith: "I'll try."
Me: "Please don’t be stupid."
Meredith: "Okay, I'll call you. Gotta go."
And just like that, the phone went dead.
It was four o'clock in the afternoon when I heard from her again. I had done nothing but think about her for the few hours leading up to her call, and within that time, I'd gone from thinking she'd be better off without me to thinking I couldn't live without her. I realized she had been right when she said we should consider giving things a shot between us.
We were perfect for each other, and it took me being faced with losing her to another guy in that way to make me realize how I felt about her. Maybe that's why that seemed so cliché, because it was a thing that really did happen to people. I had the thought that she very well might decide she wouldn't like me anymore once I told her how I felt, just like she promised, but that was a chance I had to take. That would be something we'd just have to deal with if it came up, but at the moment, not telling her how I felt simply wasn't an option.
She sent me a text. At 4:08 PM. I was reading on my iPad and the text popped up in a little box on top of the book.
Meredith: "The flowers are beautiful. You shouldn't have, but thank you. The scene went even better than I hoped. Max said they like some of the other stuff I turned in and he wants me to keep writing. I'm so excited. Thanks again for the flowers. Sweet of you to remember it's a red-letter day. We're all going for a drink to celebrate, but I'll call in a bit."
I read the text again, smiling the whole time. I didn't care if it was a bad time for her to take a call or that this would make two callbacks in one day. I pressed the button to call and put the phone to my ear.
Meredith: "Can you believe my work's gonna be on TV?"
I was really excited for her about the scene and everything, but right then I was only worried about making sure she wasn't planning on doing anything with Caleb. I didn't much care for her having drinks with him, and I figured he'd be in the group since I knew the scene was written for his character.
Me: "I'm really happy about the scene. I can't wait to see it. Hey, I really need to talk to you when you're done with work stuff. Do you think you can come by here?"
Meredith: "Is everything okay?"
Me: "Yeah, it's fine. I'm fine. I just want to make sure you aren't planning on doing anything with Caleb.
Meredith: "No, Zack. I'm not planning on sleeping with Caleb today, and yes, I'll stop by your house after I have a drink with everyone."
I could hear by the tone of her voice that she was smiling, and the sound of it made me smile too.
Me: "What time?"
Meredith: "No later than eight, I'm sure."
Me: "Damn, girl where you going? Vegas?"
Meredith: (Giggling.) "No, we're just going up the street to City Bar, but I didn't want to promise a time and have you waiting for me."
Me: "I'm waiting either way, so get your butt over here."
Meredith: "All right, I'll try to make it quicker than
that."
Again, I could hear the smile in her voice.
Meredith: "Hey, thanks again for the flowers. That was really thoughtful."
Me: "You're welcome. Congratulations on the scene, Shorty."
Meredith: "See you in a little bit."
Me: "Yep. Bye"
Meredith: "Bye."
There was a slight hesitation in the way we both said goodbye, as if each of us knew the word wasn't quite sufficient. There was still so much to sort out, but we just let it go at that, hanging up after a few seconds of silence on the line.
I showered, shaved, and got dressed, and within the next fifteen minutes, was out the door, headed to City Bar to get my girl. The feeling of contentment I felt, simply in deciding I wanted to be with Meredith, was like nothing I'd ever experienced. There was an extra little something inside of me, like she'd already carved out a place for herself in there. I was a happier person for having no interest in seeking out the next love affair. Who knew how it would all work out? Maybe Meredith was just my next love affair, but the idea of her and me felt right.
I parked in the lot adjoining City Bar, put my keys in my pocket and closed the door to my truck. I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the side mirror, and had to laugh at myself for feeling stunned all over again. I still wasn't used to seeing myself with that scar. I was confident about it. I'd learned to embrace it, actually. I just wasn't used to seeing it there yet and it still surprised me sometimes.
I took a deep breath as I stood in the entryway to the bar and scanned it looking for Meredith's short, hair. I spotted the flowers I'd sent before I even saw her. I hadn't seen the arrangement in person, but I asked them to send two-dozen long-stemmed, white daisies, and they shone like a beacon down at the other end of the bar.
I started walking in the direction of the flowers, looking for Meredith. She was sitting on a barstool with a group of her coworkers. A few of the others were on stools, but quite a few were just standing around. Caleb was next to Meredith, and my gut clinched as I wondered if he thought they still had plans to be together. I didn't let any of my jealousy show. After all, who was I to barge in on her work party and tell her who she could or couldn't sit by?
Three Months and You're Mine (In Too Deep) Page 14