by Jason Segel
“Shhh!” Paige ordered the boys. “This is no time for jokes.”
“Greetings, Nightmares!” Isabel Kessog shouted at the crowd. “My name is ICK. President Medusa has been overthrown. I am your new leader.”
A Nightmare near the bottom of the steps began booing, and was quickly plucked from the crowd and dragged away by ICK’s thugs.
ICK continued as if she hadn’t noticed a thing. “As I’ve promised before, Nightmares who choose to join my army will accompany me to the Waking World. There, we will ensure that the human race spends its days in fear. When the Netherworld is no longer necessary, a giant hole will open up once more. Those of you who stay here will share the fate of the Netherworld. This time the hole will swallow you and your entire world.”
“Why should we believe any of this?” a one-armed zombie called out. “You’re too puny to be an evil mastermind.”
ICK’s army made a move toward the zombie, but ICK raised a hand to stop them. She seemed calm on the surface, but Charlie knew that inside, ICK had to be seething.
“I’m small because I am a human child, you imbecile. And I have come to the Netherworld in the flesh! You’ve all heard of the prophecy. Well, I am the prophecy!” ICK shouted. “And that means the end of the Netherworld is nigh!”
Charlie cupped his hands around his mouth. “Oh yeah?” he shouted as loud as he could. “Well, if you’re the prophecy, then I’m the prophecy too!”
He hadn’t planned the outburst. The words had sprung from his mouth unexpectedly. But now, to Charlie’s great surprise, he realized that what he’d said was true. A week earlier, if someone had asked Charlie which Laird brother was more likely to save the Netherworld, he would have insisted it was Jack. But it turned out that Charlie was the one who was going to make all the difference. Not because he was fearless or charming, but simply because he understood why ICK was the way she was. And he understood ICK because if it hadn’t been for his friends and family, Charlie Laird might have become a villain too.
“What are you doing?” Jack squealed. The crowd had gone completely silent, and every last Nightmare was staring directly at Charlie.
“Charlie!” Paige cried.
“Trust me,” Charlie told her. “Let me through!” he shouted at the crowd, and the Nightmares in front of them parted, clearing a path between Charlie and the girl standing atop the courthouse stairs.
“Charlie Laird,” ICK said, her lip curled into a sneer.
“Isabel Kessog,” Charlie replied. “I’m here in the flesh, just like you.”
The Nightmare nearest Charlie reached out and pinched his arm. “It’s true! He’s here in the flesh! And he reeks of human!”
“Is that Jack’s brother?” someone else asked.
An ogre leaned down to sniff the air in Charlie’s wake, and his nose wrinkled with disgust. “Smells like him,” the monster replied.
“Bring the boy to me!” ICK shouted.
Two enormous yeti approached Charlie. “Hands off, gentlemen,” he told them calmly. “I can escort myself, thank you very much.”
As he walked confidently toward ICK, the Nightmares began to chatter away, and Charlie could hear the hope and excitement in their voices. So, it seemed, could ICK. And she was furious.
“This ridiculous boy cannot be the prophecy!” she insisted. “Where is his army? What is his plan? Tell us, Charlie Laird. How do you intend to destroy the Netherworld?”
Charlie climbed the stairs until he was face to face with the girl. “I’m not going to destroy anything,” he announced.
“Then how can you claim to be the prophecy?”
“The way I’ve heard it, there are two parts to the prophecy,” Charlie replied calmly, but loudly enough for everyone in the crowd to hear. “It says that there will be a child with the strength to destroy the Netherworld. But it also says there will be a child with the power to save it. I’m that kid.”
ICK looked as if she could kill him right there with her own two hands. “What powers do you have?” she shrieked. “You’re just a horrid little boy.”
“My power is here,” Charlie said, tapping his temple with a finger. “I know something.”
“What do you know?” ICK asked. She was trying her best to hide it, but Charlie could see she was worried.
Charlie leaned over and whispered in her ear. “I know who’s humming the lullaby in your nightmare.”
—
There was a clap of thunder and the lights went out. Suddenly Charlie and ICK were no longer atop the steps of the Netherworld courthouse. They were up to their ankles in mud and sheep poop. A cold wind was blowing across the field, carrying the sound of a woman humming.
“No, no, no,” ICK whimpered, holding her hands over her ears. Her bravado was gone. She was no longer the prophecy come to life. She was just a terrified girl. “Why did you bring me back to this place?”
She seemed on the verge of bolting until Charlie took ICK’s cold hand in his. “Listen to the song, Isabel. What does it remind you of?” he asked gently.
ICK answered the question with a sob. “My mother used to sing that lullaby to me and Indy every night when we were little. But then she died.”
“I thought so.” Charlie put an arm around the girl. “And do you know how I figured it out?” he asked. “Because my mother died four years ago. Everything you feel in this nightmare, I’ve felt too. And I know what you need to do to make it stop. You need to say goodbye to her, Isabel.”
One of the black sheep wandered up to them. It paused and looked up at ICK as if wondering what she would do.
“How can I say goodbye? I never even got a chance to see her,” ICK sobbed, pulling away from Charlie. “Indy and I knew she was sick. We did everything we could to get back home to her. But she died and left us here in this horrible place all alone.”
“Why were you and India away from your parents?” Charlie asked. “Were you sent to live in America because of the war?”
ICK nodded. “We never wanted to leave England. Then, in 1939, a plane dropped a bomb on our school, and our parents sent us to stay in Orville Falls with Uncle Alfred. I suppose they thought we would be happier here, but they didn’t know our uncle.”
“I’ve heard about him,” Charlie said. “He sounds like a very strange man.”
“He never left the castle,” ICK said. “And he hated children. We spoke to him less than a dozen times—and the only reason he spoke to us then was to punish us.”
“For the pranks you pulled around town?” Charlie asked.
“We just wanted to go home, and he wouldn’t let us! After we heard that our father died in the war, we knew Mother would be in London by herself. Then she sent us a letter telling us she’d come down with pneumonia. We thought if we did enough terrible things, they wouldn’t care if we were safe or not and would send us back to England.”
“So that’s why you blew up the town square in Orville Falls?”
“No!” ICK cried. “We glued locks shut and put baking soda in ketchup bottles, but we had nothing to do with that! We didn’t even have the right supplies to create an explosion as big as the one that destroyed the fountain. But the people in Orville Falls needed someone to blame, so they chose me and Indy. It wasn’t the first time either. A few months earlier, people claimed we’d spiked the punch at the fair with syrup of ipecac, which made everyone vomit. But it wasn’t us. It was the bad mayonnaise at the hamburger stand.”
Charlie could understand now why ICK had been so angry with the people of Orville Falls. “Sounds like you and your sister ended up being the town’s scapegoats.”
“That’s precisely what we were. After the explosion, they tried to drag us out of the castle—even though there were people in the crowd who must have known we were innocent. Uncle Alfred made us sleep with the sheep that night in case the townspeople came back to get us before dawn. And before he put us in this pen, he told us there was no point in pulling any more pranks because our mother was already gone.
” Isabel sniffed in a big sob. “She’d been dead for weeks, and we didn’t even know.”
Charlie could feel the tears welling up in his eyes. At least he’d been able to see his mom in the hours before she passed away. He couldn’t imagine what it must have been like for the girls to be stranded on the other side of the ocean while their mother was dying.
“Indy cried all night. But I was so angry, I did the only thing I could think of. I set all of those stupid, smelly sheep free. And in the morning, Uncle Alfred told us that the sheep were the final straw.”
“And he sent you to live in that lighthouse in Maine.”
“Yes,” ICK said. “A governess was with us at first, but she fled after a few weeks. I can hardly blame her. The place was revolting. Everything was damp all the time, and the walls were covered with mold and mildew. But Indy and I stayed, and we didn’t tell anyone that the governess had gone. Groceries were dropped off every Monday, and if we needed something, we left a note downstairs and the supplies would be delivered the next week.”
“So it was just the two of you?” Charlie asked.
ICK nodded. “Indy and I didn’t have anyone else. Our parents were dead, and Uncle Alfred was our only relative. Indy wanted to leave the lighthouse. She wanted us to make our own way in the world. But I refused to go. I just kept getting angrier and angrier until, one day, a portal to the Netherworld opened up in the lighthouse and I passed over to the other side.”
“I accidentally opened a portal too,” Charlie confessed.
ICK’s eyes went wide with surprise. “You did?” she asked.
“I did,” Charlie said. “I was furious at the world after my mother died. Then my dad got married again and made us move to the purple mansion. I hated my stepmother, and I said some pretty terrible things to my brother. I was so scared and so angry that I opened the portal in the mansion’s tower without knowing I’d done it. I could have ended up being stuck in the Netherworld too.”
“How did you escape?” ICK asked.
“I had friends who helped me figure out what was really scaring me. Everything changed after I faced my fear. I wasn’t as angry anymore, and I stopped having bad dreams like this one.”
Charlie looked around at the fat black sheep milling about the field. “So this is where you were hiding the night you were accused of a crime you didn’t commit—the same night you found out your mother had died,” Charlie said. “That’s why you dream about the sheep?”
“Yes,” ICK said.
“I think I can help you leave this place for good,” Charlie said.
“How?” ICK asked.
“For starters, we’re going to clear your name. It’s time the people of Orville Falls knew what really caused the town square to explode. And we need to find your parents in the Dream Realm so that you can visit them whenever you need to.”
“I can visit them?” ICK asked, her eyes wide with wonder.
“Yes,” Charlie told her. “And I’ll show you how. But first, you’ll have to do something very difficult, Isabel. In fact, it may be the hardest thing you’ll ever do. You need to find your worst nightmare and say goodbye.”
“I don’t understand,” ICK said, looking around. “This is my worst nightmare.”
“I don’t think so,” Charlie said. “I think your worst nightmare is the same as mine. I think it’s saying goodbye to your mother. She’s here somewhere, Isabel. And if she’s anything like mine, she’s been hoping you’ll find her. You need to stop running away.”
“I can’t do that,” ICK said, clinging to him. “Please don’t make me.”
“You have to,” Charlie told her. “Say goodbye, Isabel. You won’t be alone. You’ll have your sister and you’ll have friends.”
“Friends?” ICK asked skeptically.
“I promise,” Charlie said. Then, once again, they heard the sound of humming on the wind. “That’s her. It’s time, Isabel. You need to go find her.”
“Will you come with me?” ICK begged. “Please?”
“I can’t,” Charlie said. “You have to do it by yourself. You won’t want me with you when you see her. But I promise I’ll wait right here for you. I won’t move a muscle until you get back.”
“Thank you,” said ICK. And before she set out in search of her mother, she wrapped Charlie in a giant hug.
Charlie never asked Isabel what happened—and she never told him. But when she returned to the spot among the sheep where she’d left him, she was different. The fires that had been burning inside her were out. She looked sad and exhausted but completely at peace.
They found their way out of the sheep pen quite easily. On other nights, Charlie had spent hours searching for the gate without ever managing to find it. Now it appeared in front of them as if it had been there all along.
Once they were out, Isabel leaned over the fence to pet one of the giant black sheep that had come to see them off. The girl and the sheep had spent eighty years together, and now it was finally time to say goodbye.
“Don’t take this personally,” she told the sheep. “But I don’t think I’ll ever be able to wear wool again.”
The sheep bleated loudly. At first Charlie wondered if it had understood Isabel’s joke. Then he realized it was calling attention to the gang of Nightmares that had been sneaking up behind them.
“Isabel Kessog,” said Dabney the clown once he’d stifled a high-pitched giggle. “Your army has been defeated, and you’re under arrest for crimes against the Netherworld.”
Without saying a word, Isabel held out her hands and allowed one of Dabney’s men to put cuffs on her. She must have known the risks that came with visiting the land of Nightmares in the flesh. You could get stomped, squished, or eaten. You could also get arrested.
“Well, that was a lot easier than I expected,” Dabney said, a little confused. He looked down at Charlie. “Are you all right?” he asked.
Charlie smiled. “Never better,” he told the clown. He felt stronger and happier than he had in ages. By saving Isabel, he’d faced the fear that he hadn’t yet faced—the fear of the darkness inside him.
—
Jack found Charlie and Isabel in the hallway of the Netherworld courthouse, nervously waiting for the girl’s trial to begin.
“Isabel, meet my brother, Jack,” Charlie said, introducing the two. “Jack is good friends with India.”
Charlie saw Isabel frown at the mention of her sister’s name, but she still reached out to shake Jack’s hand.
“I apologize for what I did to you a few months ago,” ICK said to Jack. As her Tranquility Tonic had taken its toll on the Netherworld, she’d tried to pin the blame on Jack. Many of the Nightmare creatures he’d befriended during his secret trips to the other side of the portal had turned against him.
“That’s okay,” said Jack. “It taught me a pretty important lesson.”
“What was that?” Charlie asked.
Jack looked up at his brother. “That I’d rather have one person who really loves me than a million who pretend to like me,” he told Charlie.
The door to the courtroom opened, and the three of them were ushered inside. Sitting at the far end in the red velvet judge’s chair was Medusa. Her snakes rose for a look at the girl who’d just entered. Charlie and Jack stood back while Isabel was escorted to the front of the room. She glanced anxiously over her shoulder, and Charlie gave her a thumbs-up. If someone had told him three days earlier that he’d be standing where he was, Charlie would never have believed it. But this was where he was supposed to be.
Medusa lifted a hand to her glasses, and the spectators gasped. For a moment it looked as if the girl once known as ICK would be turned to stone as punishment. But then Medusa’s fingers dropped to the desk in front of her.
“Isabel Kessog. Once again, you have attempted to destroy our world,” Medusa said, her imperious voice echoing through the courtroom. “What do you have to say for yourself?”
Standing before the giant gorgon with a halo
of angry snakes writhing about her head, Isabel looked terribly small.
“I am very sorry, ma’am,” she said.
“YOU’RE SORRY?” Medusa bellowed. “YOUR ARMY AMBUSHED MY LIMOUSINE, KIDNAPPED ME, AND THEN LOCKED ME IN A CLOSET!”
Isabel cowered at the woman’s words. And Charlie’s heart went out to her. He couldn’t just stand there when he knew what Isabel had gone through. He now understood what had driven her to such desperate actions.
He stepped forward to address the president, the way he’d seen people speak to judges in movies. He was going to plead Isabel’s case. He’d been preparing his speech since the moment they’d arrived. “Madam President, may I say a few words on the defendant’s behalf?”
Medusa sat back in her chair and crossed her arms. “If you must,” she said.
“Isabel Kessog is an orphan,” Charlie began. “Her parents died tragically. She was abandoned by her uncle, accused of horrible crimes she didn’t commit, and hunted like an animal by the people of Orville Falls. After a while, she became so terrified of the Waking World that she opened a portal to the Netherworld, and she’s been stuck here for eighty years. Madam President, you once told me that no human being should stay frightened for that long. Isabel Kessog has suffered more than anyone I know.”
It was a truth that couldn’t be denied. Medusa nodded, and her expression softened. “I visited your lighthouse many times over the years,” she said gently. “So did my son, Basil. We tried to rescue you, but you wouldn’t let us in. Why didn’t you let us help?”
Isabel looked up at the fierce monster staring down at her from the judge’s chair. “You have snakes for hair, Madam President. And your eyes turn people to stone. How was I supposed to know you were there to help?”
“I see,” said Medusa thoughtfully.
Charlie took advantage of the silence that followed. “Isabel faced her fears tonight,” he told the president. “It’s time for her to go home to the Waking World.”
Medusa drummed her fingers on the desk in front of her. She seemed to be considering the idea. “If I allow her to go free, how can we ensure that she will never return in the flesh to the land of Nightmares?”