by Indiana Wake
She understood entirely why Joe might choose to retreat now; they had not known each other long enough for him to put up with such complicated circumstances and she truly did not blame him at all. While Amanda did not blame him, she felt that her heart was breaking all the same. Even if Joe had not, quite understandably, found himself falling in love so quickly, Amanda really had. She really did love him, and she was certain that she always would. There would be no man in the world like Joe Macey, a man of education and interests, a man whose experience of life went beyond farmyards and cattle.
No doubt he would be gone one day, perhaps even tempted over to the East once his book became known. Amanda knew enough about books and believed in him enough to be certain that his effort was not in vain. Even if his father thought that his time would be better spent working in the law practice, Amanda knew otherwise. Joe Macey’s talent was the sort of talent that came along once in a great while and some clever publisher out there in the world would one day see it. For Joe she hoped that it was sooner rather than later, for she loved him, and she knew how much he cared about his work. Before herself, she hoped that he would never leave Oregon. If he did, she would feel it, even if she was destined never to be with him. Just to have him in the same space was like a lifeline to her, a silent and unseen connection to the things she liked, to her own character and wants. If he was gone, hope would be gone with him.
Amanda was so lost in thought that she stared into the street without really seeing. When she finally shook herself into the here and now, her mouth fell open when she saw none other than Joe Macey himself striding in her direction, Bess Lawler at his side.
Bess was trying to peer into the diner and Amanda knew immediately that she was checking to see if there were any customers. Both Joe and Bess slowed down, staring at her intently as if waiting for some sign. Coming back to her senses entirely, Amanda beckoned them towards her with a furious wave of her hand.
“Come in,” Amanda said in a breathless whisper, her heart pounding at the sight of Joe.
What did this mean? He had promised her father to keep away from her and yet here he was. Did he love her after all?
“Are you alone?” Bess said urgently.
“Yes, Sandy went out to take a break elsewhere. She’s not speaking to me, you see,” Amanda said, desperate to ask what the two of them were doing there.
“All right, I’ll keep a lookout for her,” Bess said and stationed herself at the window in the very spot that Amanda had been in. “But get on with it.” She chuckled and waved the two of them away from her.
“Can we talk out the back?” Joe asked and was already reaching for her hand. “I have so much to say to you and so little time to say it in.”
“Yes, of course.” She took his hand and led him out into the kitchen, away from the dining area. “Joe, I didn’t think I would see you again.” The relief of setting eyes on his dark hair and beautiful face made her a little tearful.
“I don’t ordinarily break my promises, but this is one I cannot keep. I know I told your father that I would stay away from you, but I can’t. I will only stay away from you if that is what you want, Amanda.”
“I don’t want you to stay away, Joe. I have missed you so much.” Amanda swiped at her tears with the back of her hand. “But I don’t know how we will get away with it. My mother saw us, you see, and sooner or later somebody else will. If my father finds out, he’ll stop…”
“Amanda, I love you.” He was holding both of her hands now and drawing her towards him. “I know it’s sudden, but it’s no less the truth now than it would be a year from now or two years from now. Our circumstances are such that we both have to make a decision.”
“A decision?” Amanda said, hardly daring to hope for what the next few minutes might bring.
“Amanda, I want you to marry me. I want to spend the rest of my life with you,” he said without any hint of nerves. “If things were not as they are, I would not be asking you, not yet. I would have given you time, I would have given you the space to find out if you really felt the same way about me. But I want you to know that my feelings are true, not born of panic or a need to make a plan. My feelings for you are as they are without any inducement.”
“I love you too, Joe. And I want you to know that I really do love you. I’m not looking for a savior, I would never do that to you. I really don’t want to marry Garth Walton, that’s the truth, but I wouldn’t marry you simply to escape him. I wouldn’t marry anybody to escape. I wouldn’t marry anybody for anything other than the deepest love.”
“I know,” Joe said and she could tell by his slow, handsome smile, that he really did know.
In just a few weeks he knew her better than her own family did.
“I can think of nothing better than a life spent married to you, Joe. You are such a clever man, so talented, and I know that the world will agree with me as soon as they read the story of Thomas Graine.”
“Thank you for your belief in me, Amanda. I’m not going to stop writing, not ever, but if I am to take care of you, if we are to be married sooner rather than later, then I need to take the job at my father’s practice.” He smiled ruefully and held up a hand when she began to object. “Amanda, I would plow fields if that’s what it took to have you with me. The decision doesn’t make me bitter or angry, but grateful.”
“Grateful? But you don’t want to work in your father’s office.”
“But I have the opportunity to do so, I have an option, and that’s what I’m grateful for. If I didn’t have that, I wouldn’t be able to marry you. But with that job we can find somewhere to live and be together, we have our whole lives to make everything else we want in life work. So, yes, I am grateful.”
“And so am I,” she said, her tears drying and her smile wide enough to crack her face. “You must keep writing, you must finish your story. That is the only thing I will make you promise me, Joe Macey. Whatever happens, you cannot waste that talent. It would break my heart in two, truly.”
“I promise,” he said and suddenly dropped down onto one knee, holding tightly to both of her hands, his beautiful grey eyes fixed on hers. “Amanda Hargreaves, will you marry me?”
“Of course,” Amanda said and dropped to her knees also, throwing her arms around his neck and kissing him.
Chapter Twenty
“Your hair looks beautiful,” Bess said as she slid yet another dried flower into it.
“Thanks to you.” Amanda, sitting on a little stool in Bess Lawler’s bedroom, looked at her friend’s reflection in the mirror. “What would I do without you?”
“God knows.” Bess shrugged and grinned.
“Oh, you!” Amanda laughed, her eyes shining with a mixture of mirth and emotion.
She really would have struggled without Bess in the last weeks. From the very moment she and Joe had gone to the farmhouse together to tell her parents of their intention to marry, she had been cast out.
“You’re doing the right thing, Amanda,” Bess said, suddenly serious. “You gave your family every opportunity to put your happiness first and they didn’t take it. But you have to take it; your happiness is your responsibility.”
“For everything that happened, I still wish my father would be at the church to give me away.” She blinked hard, determined not to cry. “Today is going to be a wonderful day but it’s going to be a very hard one too. I suppose I’d always imagined that I would be walking down the aisle on the arm of my father.”
“Instead of walking down the aisle on the arm of my father.” Bess began to fiddle with the dried flowers in Amanda’s hair.
“Your parents have been wonderful to me. I know it can’t have been easy to take me in at such short notice, especially when they’ve always been such good friends to my parents. I’ll always feel guilty for putting them in such an impossible position.”
A lot seemed to have happened in the two short weeks since Joe had proposed to her in the diner. They had gone to her family the very mom
ent her working day had finished, Amanda was so keen to have the thing said before she lost her nerve. Her father had been angry from the very beginning, blaming Joe for all of it and making much of the fact that he was clearly a young man who could not keep his word. He had even tried to appeal to Amanda, telling her that he could not possibly let her go to a man who did not know how to keep a promise.
But Amanda had countered with everything she knew about Joe and everything she knew about Garth Walton. If any man was going to make a promise to her at the altar and then break it, it most certainly would not have been Joe.
Her mother had simply fussed and flustered throughout the whole thing, looking upset and regretful as if the part she had played in it all was finally catching up with her. Amanda loved her mother and felt so sorry for her, even though, when it had mattered most, Caroline Hargreaves had let her down and turned her back on her.
Peter Hargreaves, however, cannot have been an easy husband to have and Amanda knew that she was already beginning to forgive her mother. But what use was forgiveness when she was likely never to see her again? When her father had cast her out, he had done so completely. He had told her to gather her things there and then and go, never to return.
Amanda knew him too well and rightly judged that he had thought his threat would carry weight and have her change her mind. So, when she tearfully retreated to her bedroom to collect her clothes and books, nobody could have looked more surprised than her father. Nonetheless, he had not backed down.
Joe and Amanda had immediately gone to see Bess to tell her everything and, as soon as her mother and father heard it, they determined that their daughter’s friend should stay with them until she was married. Amanda had made some little objections, despite the fact that she knew it was the very best solution. She really hadn’t wanted to put them in such an awkward position, although they appeared to take it in their stride. Perhaps they imagined their own daughter out in the world without anywhere to turn, perhaps it had been that which had made them such instant allies.
Joe’s mother, Dr. Macey, had visited her more than once at the Lawler house. She was kind and clever and as approachable a future mother-in-law as she had been a doctor to her.
When Amanda had cried for the loss of her family, however awkward they had been, Carrie Macey had soothed her, holding her in her arms and rocking her like a mother should.
“Well, as far as my daddy tells it, it was your daddy who put everyone in an awkward position, not you. And in any case, they’ve been friends for years. One day, this will all blow over and everybody will be as they were,” Bess chattered on.
“Except me,” Amanda said sadly. “You know what my father is like, you know how proud he is and how he doesn’t like to be disobeyed. Even if it hurts him, even if it makes him sad, he’ll stick to his determination like a barnacle to a boat.”
“You never know, he might surprise you one day,” Bess said, although Amanda could see by the expression on her friend’s face that she was as doubtful about that as Amanda was.
“I wish I could feel excited about today,” Amanda said wistfully. “I am about to marry the most wonderful and handsome man in all the world, and I feel like crying.”
“Probably because you haven’t seen him since yesterday.” Bess chuckled, clearly trying to cheer Amanda up. “As soon as you set eyes on him again, you’ll be all right. He’ll be sitting there on the first pew with his little wire glasses on and a book in his hand, reading a few chapters while he patiently waits for his favorite conversational partner to arrive.”
“Oh, here we go,” Amanda said and shook her head, smiling. “Do you never miss an opportunity to tease?”
“Do you?”
“No, probably not.”
“Then ours is a friendship of equals.” Bess smiled broadly and held out her hand. “Come on, your maidenhood is just about to come to an end. It’s time to get you to the church.”
Chapter Twenty-One
Mrs. Lawler and Dr. Macey had made a wonderful job of the church. They had collected late summer flowers and tied them in neat little bunches to every aisle seat of every pew. As Amanda stood at the very far end of the aisle staring down towards the altar, she felt as if she were about to enter a pathway of flowers. It was such a simple thing and yet such a beautiful and kind touch that she felt tears spring to her eyes.
She was waiting for Mr. Lawler to join her and offer her his arm, ready to walk her down the aisle and give her away. However, he’d left her just outside the door, staring into the church, while he disappeared for what he claimed would only be a few moments. He looked surprised about something and hurried away with such purpose that Amanda thought he must have something suddenly very important to attend to.
Amanda was vaguely aware of some chatter outside the church, but it was so quiet that she couldn’t make any of it out. However, her eyes had found her beloved Joe down by the altar, sitting in the nearest pew just as Bess said he would be. But his head moved this way and that and she almost laughed; at least she would be able to tell Bess that her husband-to-be was most certainly not taking the opportunity to read a chapter or two while he waited for her.
The church was packed with well-wishers and Amanda thought it a strange and rare opportunity for a bride to stand unobserved and just out of the way while she studied them. Many of them were family friends and many of them were regular attendees at the diner. In truth, she was surprised to see so many and it gave her a certain amount of comfort to see them all there. Even Sandy had made an appearance, although she was already preening and looking all about her for a suitable young man to throw all her attention upon.
Amanda smiled; let Sandy have her fun, at least she had turned up.
The Minister finally walked out and stood by the altar. A certain hush fell over the congregation and Amanda looked nervously over her shoulder for any sign of Mr. Lawler. When she heard footsteps approaching, she breathed a sigh of relief. However, the man who rounded the corner and stepped into the church was not her best friend’s father at all, it was her own.
Peter Hargreaves, dressed in his best, walked towards her with a smile on his face. He paused a few feet from her and raised his eyebrows, cocking his head to one side as if asking her a question. Amanda stared at him for a moment in disbelief. He was smiling and well-dressed; surely, he hadn’t come to drag her away from the church and back to the farmhouse again.
And then she realized that she knew what he was asking. Her father was silently asking for her forgiveness, silently asking for the right to walk her down the aisle and give her away. Without a word, Amanda nodded, a tear escaping and rolling down her cheek. All of her hopes and dreams had come true, she had her wonderful husband and her family back at peace. This was truly a wonderful day.
“Here,” her father said, handing her a handkerchief. “You can’t have your young man see you crying, he’ll think you’ve changed your mind.” His simple joke was enough to make her smile.
“Thank you, Papa. Thank you for coming,” she said in a hoarse whisper.
“Well, the doctor made a lot of sense,” he said and, for the first time in his life, he looked chagrined.
“The doctor?” she said, still whispering.
“Your new mother-in-law,” he replied and seemed surprised that Amanda had no idea. “She’s a good woman and a clever one, I’ll give her that. Anyway, she said enough to make me realize that in trying to punish you I was punishing myself. And she was right, I was punishing myself. I know I haven’t always been the best of fathers, honey, but I’ve always loved you. I let my own ambitions get in the way of what was important. I really thought such marriages work, given that mine and your mother’s seems to have. But Joe Macey is a good man and a brave one and, most important of all, he’s the man that you want.”
“He really is, Papa,” Amanda said and made another attempt to dry her eyes.
Although they were whispering, she began to feel a little self-conscious. The congregation we
re in near silence and although they kept their eyes to the front, Amanda knew that they were all perfectly well aware of the little private reconciliation that was taking place behind them.
“Come on, it’s time,” her father said and took her hand, leaning forward to kiss her cheek. “Now, link your arm through mine and I’ll walk you down,” he went on, not missing an opportunity for a little bossy direction.
Maybe some habits were hard to break, but Amanda knew that she would never forget what her father had done on that day. He’d made her wedding day complete, a day to remember in a way that would never have been possible without her family there as witnesses. Nobody was perfect. There was some bitter water flowing under that old bridge, but her father had taken the first step to making things right between them and she would always be grateful for it. She would always do everything in her power to make sure that they always stepped toward one another from now on.
Epilogue
“How did he take it?” Amanda asked with a wince.
She was cutting bread in the tiny kitchen of the home they rented from the estate of Kirby Thornhill. It was a small and very modest abode, but affordable and one which her father had approached Kirby Thornhill himself for.
The man had agreed immediately and had found himself pleased for the local farmer’s company. It amused Amanda to know that her father had got what he wanted in the end without having to ruin her life to achieve it.
“Amanda, he is thrilled,” Joe said, smiling from ear to ear. “He grinned like you did when you found out Brad Turner had proposed to Bess Lawler. He’s happy for us.”
He had crossed the tiny kitchen in no more than two steps and reached out to take the bread knife from her hand and set it down on the wooden block. He slid his arms around her waist and pulled her towards him, kissing her so passionately and so suddenly that it took her breath away.