by Kate Steele
Dane retreated to his bedroom and undressed, contemplating the puzzled look on Jor’s face. Dane’s remark had been a subtle hint for Jor to rethink his perpetual guilt trip. Maybe Jor would get it, maybe not. At the moment Dane was too tired to worry about it.
Sliding into bed he turned his thoughts to his patients and set his alarm to go off in three hours so he could get up and check on them. Lying down, he let his mind play over the events of the day and of all the things that had filled it. It was thoughts of Jorrian that took center stage as he drifted to sleep.
Chapter Four
Dane slapped a hand at the alarm, silencing its strident call. Blinking to clear the sleep from his eyes, he rose and dressed then walked out into the living room. Eyelids at half mast rose fully and beyond at the sight of Jor on the sofa. Jor had undressed and sometime in the past couple of hours had thrown his blanket off. He lay on his back, one arm thrown over his head, the other resting on his torso. He was fully and gloriously naked.
His pale hair was free and pushed to the side. It rippled down the length of Jor’s body, resembling a frozen waterfall. His fair skin glowed in the soft light that filtered in through the window from the outside light. Dane admired the sleek, muscled length of his body but what caught and held his fascinated gaze was Jor’s fully erect cock.
Slightly darker than the rest of him, it rose from a neat bush of light blond pubic hair. It lay tight against his belly. Dane could almost swear he could see the pulse of blood in the prominent veins that ran just under the surface of skin that cried out to be touched. Knowing that it was natural for men to have several nocturnal erections during the course of a night did nothing to alleviate his instant arousal at the sight.
“Fuck,” he breathed. His mouth started to water. What would it be like to simply walk over there, go to his knees and worship at that towering pillar of masculinity?
Dane shook himself and tore his gaze from Jor’s body. Get a grip, Dane. A second thought immediately answered, wouldn’t I love to. It was like having his inner devil on one shoulder and his inner angel on the other. Dismissing them both, Dane walked through the kitchen and out the back door.
The cool night air was bracing and cleared his head. In the glow of the outside light mounted on the outer wall of the clinic, Dane made the short, familiar walk and let himself in. Once in the infirmary he went from patient to patient, checking each one. They were all resting comfortably. The medication he’d given them earlier was still doing its job. All the buckets were empty and he breathed a sigh of relief. Vomit patrol was not one of his favorite things, especially at this time of the morning.
Satisfied that everything was as it should be, he returned to the house. Dane opened the backdoor and stepped inside the kitchen, moving quietly so as not to disturb Jor. Once in the living room it was clear to see he might as well have saved his efforts. Jor was awake and sitting up on the sofa, the blanket draped over his lower body.
Even partially covered, Jor was temptation incarnate. Thick ripples of Jor’s beautiful fall of heavy hair covered his back and slid over his shoulders. Dane was utterly fascinated.
He swallowed hard and clamped down on the reoccurring surge of need that washed over him. His mind might be having a hard time accepting the Maleri’ bond to Jor but his body was having no such problem. In fact, his body was setting up an ever increasing clamor and demand for what it viscerally knew as its mate. His body was demanding Jorrian. Dane raised a hand to his forehead, blotting the sweat that was forming. He shivered at the trickle that ran down his spine.
“Is everything all right?” Jor asked, turning to him, his voice husky with sleep.
“It’s fine. I just went to check on the patients.”
“Are you feeling all right? You look a little flushed.”
“Um, no, I’m fine,” Dane moved, turning his back to the outside light that filtered in through the window while effectively putting himself in shadow. Jor’s vision was a bit too acute for his liking.
“Will you be checking on the patients at this time every night?”
“For the next couple of days, yes. Every three hours through the night until the worst of the symptoms ease. I can’t just call it a day and leave them on their own for ten hours. Plus there’s the fact that they’ll need to have their medicine again in another three hours.”
“All right. I’ll switch off with you.”
“What do you mean?”
“We’ll take turns. You know, switch back and forth. You’ll go after the first three hours, I’ll go next. That way you’ll at least be able to get six uninterrupted hours of sleep.”
Dane found himself touched by Jor’s offer. “You don’t have to do that. I’m used to interrupted sleep.”
“I know I don’t have to. I’m your assistant. Remember?” Jor sent him a tentative smile. “Seriously, let me do this. If there’s a problem with anyone, I’ll wake you. You said yourself they weren’t displaying any particularly virulent symptoms.”
“All right,” Dane agreed. “But I have to take the next shift so I can administer their medication.”
“Agreed. You’ll get any shifts that involve dispensing medicine.”
“It’s a deal. What are you doing up, anyway? Did I wake you?” Talking to Jor while being enveloped in this near darkness made Dane relax. There was something about communicating with voices only while everything else was shielded by the dark that made it easier to be more open.
“I rarely sleep more than a few hours at a time.”
“Unless you take something, right?” Dane watched as Jor dropped his gaze to the bottle of pills resting by his clothes on the low table in front of the sofa.
“Yes.”
“So why didn’t you take one of your pills? The ones you brought with you? I assume that’s what they’re for?”
Jor nodded. “I took two last night. I don’t like to take them every night. I don’t want to become addicted to them.”
“That’s an admirable sentiment but it must not be very comforting when you’re sitting up in the wee hours of the morning because you can’t sleep.” The thought of Jor’s lonely night vigils pulled at Dane’s heart.
The more time Dane spent with the man, the more Jor’s vulnerabilities emerged. Dane thought his own loss was difficult to deal with but he certainly didn’t hold an exclusive on heartbreak. It amazed him that Jor held up under the load of guilt he heaped upon himself let alone the permeating sense of sadness and loss that filled him.
While they tried to keep their emotions from slipping through the bond, it was impossible to catch everything. Bits and pieces broke through. They were each given small glimpses of each other in the form of emotions or budding thoughts. Dane knew himself well enough to know that while he still grieved for Teleran, he’d at least managed to find some pleasure in his life. Jor’s all pervading inner doom and gloom led Dane to believe Jor’s earlier admission. It seemed he did find very little in his life to be amusing or pleasurable.
He fought the urge to go to Jor and offer comfort. Whether it was the bond between them or his own innate urge to heal what was broken, he knew Jor wouldn’t welcome him. His pride would make him reject anything less than a full capitulation to the bond. Without the intimacy the bond would afford them, anything less would make Jor self-conscious, defensive and perhaps even angry.
Dane knew that most men had difficulty dealing with and exposing their emotions. Even with someone with whom they were intimately involved. Purposely make yourself look weak in front of another man? Dane silently scoffed. Not bloody likely.
He blinked. Pulling his mind from those silent thoughts, he found Jor staring at him.
“You should put away whatever thoughts are making you frown so and go to bed. You’ll have to be getting up again, sooner than you’ll like.”
“You’re right,” Dane agreed. “You should try and get a little more sleep yourself.”
“Umm,” Jor grunted with a noncommittal nod.
Dane shook his head
. “Stubborn.” Without waiting for a reply, he returned to his room.
* * *
The next few days passed without incident. Jor and Dane harmoniously worked together to care for the patients. They took shifts checking the patients at night, fixed meals together and in the early evenings before bed, watched news or other broadcasts that were distributed planet-wide from an independent vendor of off-world programming. Everything was running smoothly but for one slowly growing glitch. The increasing sexual tension.
If Jor had found it difficult to sleep before, it was quickly becoming impossible. Lascivious dreams starring himself and Dane kept yanking him from sleep. He was afraid they might be broadcast through their link as the first had. He didn’t want Dane to know how much and how quickly this need for him was growing and so he kept himself awake as much as possible. The pain was also returning. During their initial joining, Dane must have siphoned some of the energy that was straining against his shields but with no further outlet, it was rebuilding.
Jor admitted to himself he’d rather die than let Dane know. He wouldn’t take Dane’s charity, and knowing him as Jor did now, he was sure Dane would cross his own self-imposed boundaries against the Maleri’ bond to help him. It was a cruel twist of fate that draining the energy required him to engage in sex with his mate. Jor had never had sex with a reluctant partner and he wasn’t about to begin now. There was no way he would ask for Dane’s help. But that didn’t stop his growing desire for the man.
As though thinking of him caused him to appear, Dane walked in through the infirmary doorway, scattering Jor’s thoughts. Just the sight of him caused Jor’s belly to tighten in anticipation. Dane’s arms were filled with a neat stack of clean linen.
“Come help me change the sheets?” he asked Jor with a charming smile and a hopeful gleam in his eyes.
Jor felt his lips twitch with unaccustomed amusement. Dane was irresistibly cute and Jor had the feeling that once upon a time he knew it. For some reason, which Jor couldn’t understand, Dane had taken to subtly flirting with him. Whether Dane was aware of what he was doing, Jor wasn’t sure. All he knew for sure was the pleasure he took in it. It was worth wrestling later with the unfulfilled lust Dane’s flirtation raised.
He joined Dane by the first bed to be changed. Standing one on either side of it, they lifted their groggy patient into a sitting position and stripped the old sheet down. Jor held the man upright while Dane got the clean sheet tucked under his side of the bed then held the patient while Jor finished his side. They laid him back down, eased the old sheet from under his hips and stripped it off the bed. The clean sheet was maneuvered under his hips as well and his legs elevated slightly so that it could be smoothed the rest of the way down and tucked under at the foot of the bed.
The bed was narrow and each movement seemed to bring them nearly face to face. Dane’s scent, clean and masculine, teased Jor’s senses. His heart began to beat faster at their close proximity to each other while his cock inevitably stiffened. As much as he kept telling himself to relax, it was useless. His body was screaming for Dane. By the time they got to the last patient, Jor was fighting to keep his trembling hands from reaching for Dane. He made the mistake of making eye contact with him.
Their gazes locked and the world stood still. For one blazing moment the Maleri’ bond took control. It flared wide open between them and left them utterly naked to each other’s desire. Jor’s stomach clenched. His semi-erect cock went rock hard. He fought to breathe. His pulse pounded in his ears, a roaring beat to accompany the hot demand of his body. Dane’s easy manner had fled. He stared back at Jor. Jor could hear Dane’s breath, audible pants slipping between his parted lips. Jor shook with the tension between them, dying to break the spell yet wanting it to last forever.
It was Dane who recovered first. “I, um, forgot something at the house. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
Jor watched as Dane pivoted on his heel and strode from the room as though the hounds of hell were after him. Jor was trapped in the web of lust that had spun between them. He stumbled to the infirmary bathroom and locked the door. Any thoughts of propriety or control were gone. He tore open his pants and grasped his demanding cock.
“Demons and deities,” he groaned, his clenched fist pumping his swollen flesh. He slid to his knees.
The ache was unbearable, the pleasure quickly growing. Jor pulled at himself, his strokes long, hard and fast. Images of the intensity of Dane’s eyes bored into him and he groaned. It felt as though Dane was actually watching him. This was no gentle build of sensation. It was a harsh, abrupt need that screamed for fulfillment. The feelings were big, huge, overwhelming.
Heat radiated from his body, centering in his balls it slid up his spine. Orgasm was coming. He was teetering on the brink when his essence and another’s merged. Dane. Dane was at the house, in his bedroom jacking off. Jor could feel Dane’s lust and pleasure. He could almost taste the tart musk of his sweat. A phantom hand joined Jor’s on his cock and he knew that Dane felt him as well. It was a touch of divinity. It was exquisite. It was too much. His cock spewed.
He managed to cup his hand over his pulsing cock head. Thick ribbons of pure creamy seed jetted forth, splashing into his palm. Jor retained enough sanity to swallow his scream, settling instead for a harsh guttural groan. His body shuddered and he curled inward, rocking with the aftershocks that grabbed his gut and twisted with slowly decreasing tugs of pleasure.
Jor rested for a few moments allowing his quivering muscles to regain their strength. When he thought his legs would hold him, he rose and went to the sink. Turning on the water, he washed away the semen that had pooled in his hand and looked back to check the floor. A few drops had escaped. Taking a disinfectant wipe from the wall dispenser, he cleaned them up.
Returning to the sink, Jor splashed his face with water and dried it. He looked at his reflection in the mirror. His familiar stoic expression was back, his mask firmly in place. The ethereal joining with Dane had been the most joyous and lust fulfilling experience of his life. And knowing how it felt, knowing there would be no joining for real made him wish more than ever that his life was over. Determined to avoid Dane for the rest of the day, he sighed and left the bathroom.
* * *
Dane sighed as he made his way back to the house. He’d gotten up to the sound of his alarm to check the patients. As he’d passed through the living room he could see Jor lying on the sofa wrapped in his blanket, asleep. If he wasn’t pretending. Dane wouldn’t put it past him. Ever since their bond-shared masturbation Jor had been unusually quiet and withdrawn. His depression was near palpable. Dane, on the other hand, was experiencing a quiet joy. A fact he struggled just as hard to hide while he wrestled with the implications of the feeling.
Forced as he was to finally take a good look at himself, Jor and the situation between them, Dane came to the only logical conclusion. They belonged together. It was a conclusion that caused him initial dismay in the face of his love for, and loyalty to, Teleran. And yet, if he was honest with himself, he knew that Tel would want him to be happy and he himself wanted that happiness. Dane wanted to love and be loved. He craved the touch of another. Who didn’t? At this point, the actual love was in question but the need was certainly in place.
He and Jor needed each other, and Dane knew that Jor’s need was even greater than his own. Jor needed Dane for his very existence. While he wasn’t saying anything, Dane hadn’t missed Jor’s surreptitious rubbing of his temples or the slight frowns and almost imperceptible winces. Jor was in pain. Dane had taken a look at the pill bottle Jor had left on the table in front of the sofa. It was a combination sleep aid and pain medication. Dane also noted the bottle had gotten lighter in the past few days. Despite his aversion to it, Jor was leaning on his medication more and more.
Dane decided it was time to act. The patients in the infirmary were very close to full recovery and would be released from his care in two days. Dane knew that Jor would leave as well.
He was already withdrawing. His decision made, Dane was determined that Jor would be going nowhere, except hopefully to his bed. The thought brought a smile to his lips even as his cock jumped. He chuckled and softly groaned. God I can’t wait to touch him and get my hands on all that long, silky hair. Fuck.
Reaching the kitchen door, Dane let himself in but paused when he heard voices.
“So do you think they might help? This planet’s medical programs could use a serious boost.”
“I’m sure they will. I’ll run it by them. But Jor, why don’t you come and talk to them yourself? Your banishment’s been lifted for five years now. Santorel and Thomas have told me how much they wish you would come home.”
Dane moved closer to the doorway but stayed in the shadows. Jor was speaking to someone on the comm unit.
“I can’t. We’re under quarantine.”
“That’s temporary and you know it. Stop avoiding my question.”
“Chase, we’ve been through this. I can’t come back to Belthola just because I’ve managed to buy my way in.”
“No one has voiced a sentiment like that. The things you’ve done since you’ve been gone, the people you’ve helped. Did you do that to buy your way back?”
“No, of course not, but no one would have to say that that’s what I’ve been doing. Not when I know it’s what they really think.”
“You are so damned stubborn and you’re so sure you’re right. Your reinstatement was unanimous but you’re determined to never let the guilt go, aren’t you?”
“You didn’t cost a man his life!”
“Neither did you!”
Breathing hard, his expression mutinous, Jor looked away from the screen and spotted Dane standing in the shadows of the kitchen. Their gazes locked for a moment before Jor turned back to the comm unit. “I have to go. Just… please check on what I’ve asked you about.”
“All right but this conversation is not over Jorrian.”
Jor gave him a humorless smile. “It seems I’m not the only stubborn one. Thanks, Chase.”