HOLDING ON

by KIKI MALONE

  I’m choked up now. That little girl is the shy one? I never, in a million years, would have guessed that.

  “Have a great day,” I reply. There’s nothing else that I can get out. My heart is in my throat and I don’t think I could talk without crying.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  CARTER

  I CAN’T FEEL

  I STAND HERE on the curb staring at the tow truck pulling away with my SUV on the bed. I’ll convince myself that it’s my car I’m watching but in reality, it’s the woman behind the wheel that has my interest. I haven’t felt something for another woman in so long and my body is definitely reacting to the tow truck driver.

  “Daddy, come on.” Isabella pulls on my pant leg and pulls me out of my thoughts. “Miss Jenny is gonna be mads because we’re late.”

  The girls aren’t late, we’re still a little early but I guess their young minds think because we broke down that we’d be late today.

  “We’re not late, Isabella,” I gently tell her. “Daddy was going to surprise you girls and that’s why we left the house so early. We still have a little time, so what do you think if we go grab some ice cream from the shop across the street before we come back for the recital?”

  All three girls start jumping up and down. They sure do love their ice cream.

  “Yes, Daddy, come on!” all three yell, excitedly.

  I lift Sofia into my arms first, since she’s so tiny compared to the other two. She wraps her arms around my neck and holds on tight, like we’ve done in the past and I reach both hands down to grab Felicia and Isabella’s hands. Being a single parent of triplets, I had to learn how to make things work when I needed to hold on to all three at one time. It was easier when they were babies, but now that they are older, we’ve learned to maneuver ourselves to make it work. They know they must always hold my hand when we are out. Especially if we are going to cross the street. I’m lucky in the fact that none of them have ever tried to pull away from me. They know they don’t have many rules, but the simple ones I have they must follow.

  We walk across the street and I find an open booth in the ice cream shop. I settle all three of them into their seats and let them know I’ll be watching them while I get their ice cream. My girls are well behaved enough that I know I can trust them not to move from the table while I get their ice cream.

  I walk up to the counter and order my girls their favorites. This is one thing they completely differ on. Each girl has their own favorite ice cream, so I always have to order them their own cones instead of just one for them to share. I decide that this time, I’ll just order three small bowls because I don’t want to take a chance of them getting ice cream all over themselves if I order cones. Maybe I should’ve thought twice about putting them in their costumes before I left the house knowing we were getting ice cream first. I know if any of them get even a little bit on themselves, it’s going to be a disaster. They will all have major meltdowns and with the way this day has turned out so far, I don’t think I can handle a tantrum from any of them, let alone all three.

  I order Isabella strawberry ice cream with rainbow sprinkles. Sofia gets vanilla ice cream with chocolate sprinkles, and Felicia gets, my personal favorite, chocolate chip mint ice cream with whip cream. Felicia is a girl after my own belly. She eats many of the things I eat, whereas I have to fight most days with Isabella and Sofia about what they eat. I swear those two kill me sometimes. I always have to cook two different meals for dinner because Isabella and Sofia rarely eat anything that Felicia and I like to eat. If those two had a choice, we’d all live on grilled chicken and mashed potatoes every day. I like something different every night, and so does Felicia.

  When I get back to the table, Sofia is talking animatedly to Isabella and Felicia about the tow truck driver. I don’t think she heard Elizabeth introduce herself, so Sofia just keeps referring to her as the lady driver. She’s so cute about it. I’ve never seen Sofia act this way towards another woman. Usually she’s so standoffish and refuses to give anyone a chance.

  When I first signed the girls up for dance, Isabella and Felicia jumped right in. My beautiful Isabella is a natural. She truly feels the music and moves with such grace already. Felicia and Sofia are quite a bit behind Isabella but they’re always happy to go and learn.

  I honestly believe each girl’s paths are already set out for them. Isabella will be my prima ballerina, while Felicia will be my personal chef, and Sofia will be the scholar.

  Felicia loves to help her daddy cook. She’s always front and center when I’m making their meals. She doesn’t care if she was playing or watching a movie, as soon as she sees me head to the kitchen to make some food, she drops everything so she can be right there with me.

  Miss Jenny, the girls dance teacher, has asked me many times if she can move Isabella up to the more advanced class. I haven’t let her yet because I don’t want Felicia and Sofia to feel like they’re not as important as their sister. Although, I don’t know if this is hurting Isabella in her training. Miss Jenny always tells me that Isabella is such a natural and she picks up immediately on anything the girls are taught.

  I prefer that my girls stay together as long as possible. I know this might not be a good thing, but I feel the longer they stay together the closer they will be and hopefully they won’t resent one another for anything as they grow up.

  I grew up an only child. Mikael is the closest thing to a brother that I have. I don’t know how I would have survived the last three years without him and I can’t imagine how much better life would have been growing up if he were my real sibling.

  Speaking of Mikael, here he comes. Strutting in the door like he doesn’t have a care in the world. I knew he would be here today; he’s never missed anything when it comes to the girls. He loves his role as the doting uncle and I believe with my whole heart that he loves my girls as if they were his own.

  “Uncle Mik,” all three girls squeal at once. He leans over the table and gives each girl a hug and a kiss on the head.

  “How are my favorite girls?” he asks as he takes a seat. “Are you ready to dance for your favorite uncle?”

  “Yes!” they all exclaim in unison, again. They truly do love their uncle, especially since he’s so involved in their lives. There’s never been anything he hasn’t been present for.

  “Hey, bro,” he says to me and holds out his fist. “I grabbed the girls’ booster seats on my way here. Sorry about your car, I’ll give you guys a ride home when the recital is over.”

  I called Mikael while the girls and I were waiting for the tow truck. I knew I’d need a ride after the recital. I knew without a doubt Mikael would give me a ride, so I had to call and give him a heads up so he could grab the spare seats he keeps for them.

  Mikael starts talking to the girls and although I normally make myself part of the conversation, I tune them all out.

  That woman. Where did she come from? And why is Sofia so enamored by her? I have no idea.

  I swore when all that shit went down with Maggie, I’d never let a woman near me or the girls again. But something about that sprite just got to me. She made my girls feel comfortable. She looked at them with a look only a mother could have. Well, any mother but their own of course.

  Oh, that bitch. I was so happy when she just disappeared without a fight. It was the best day of my life when she signed those papers. I expected to hear from her when nine months after she signed the papers, we changed the locks and put her apartment up for sale. I was waiting for the fight that was sure to happen. I was prepared for it. Unfortunately, she let me down once again. I was so disappointed, but hey, by then I should’ve been used to her not doing what I expected.

  My dick begins to deflate just thinking of that bitch. It’s yelling at me to get back to that no more than five-foot-tall woman that came to our rescue today. Usually, someone like her would have never turned me on. The cute little pixie cut that framed her square face. Those deep brown eyes with the slight slant tells me she
’s either got some Native American or Asian in her ancestry. Her cute ass, which I couldn’t help but look at while she was bent overlooking at my engine. I just wanted to lift the bottom of that skirt she was wearing to find out if she wore a thong or was going commando underneath. If I were a betting man, I’d go with commando. There was not one line that would’ve told me she was wearing anything under that skirt. Trust me; I examined it very well with my eyes.

  Oh, these thoughts are going to get me in trouble. I can’t get a hard-on while sitting here with my three babies waiting to go to their recital. I shift, uncomfortably to try to calm my wayward dick down. Mikael shoots his eyes to mine quickly then turns his attention back to the girls. I’m sure he’ll have questions later since he can’t say anything in front of the children. I have to get this woman out of my mind before I drive myself crazy and do something I swore I’d never do again.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  ELIZABETH

  CONCERT AND BABIES

  WHEN CARTER GOT out of the truck and closed the door behind him, I had to pull away as fast as I could. If I didn’t, I may have said or done something I’d likely regret. Like snatch up all three of those babies and take them home with me. Give them the mommy that Carter implied they didn’t have.

  Those were three of the most precious little girls I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting. Not only were they beautiful, but they were kind, respectful and very well mannered.

  And that little one, be still my beating heart. She may be the most precious one of the whole bunch. She’s tiny and reminds me so much of myself.

  All three are very well spoken for their age. If Carter didn’t tell me they were triplets, I would’ve put the bigger two at about four and the little one at three at the most. But, my guess is they are all closer to four.

  Then, when he said it was just him and his girls, and implied he was doing this on his own, it was everything I could not to let my jaw drop to the floor. That’s something you hardly ever see. A single father who has custody of his kids and doing it all on his own.

  That does a little something to my insides. It awakens something inside of me that I thought had died long ago.

  I know I should go straight to the concert hall, but I have to pull over to the side of the road for a few minutes to get my heart and emotions under control.

  It’s both a blessing and a shame that I’ll probably never see the four of them again. I don’t know if it would be possible to not throw myself shamefully at that man. Even if I did, just to be able to be a part of his children’s lives. Not that he wouldn’t be a bad prize himself, but really, it’s all about those babies for me. I always wanted to be a mother, but those dreams were squashed. Just a few minutes with those three girls brought the longing right back to me.

  I can’t imagine ever growing up without my mom. Like, how does he teach them things a little lady should know? Who bakes cookies with them and has flour fights with them like my mom and I always had? My heart breaks a bit for the girls and I wish like anything they had a mother in their lives.

  Not that they look like they’re missing out. I can’t help but wonder what happened to her. Did she pass away? Something tragic? I can’t imagine she would have just abandoned those precious gifts. No woman I’ve ever known would ever leave their babies behind. Angie is a shining example of that. Her baby was created through a disgusting act, but the mom instinct in her kicked in and she’s raised that precious boy with all the love she has.

  Obviously there has to be someone who helps them. Little girls need someone to help them learn fashion, to brush and maintain their hair, to teach them about boys and the heartbreak they can cause. They did appear to be well taken care of, from their hair to their clothes to the way they act. Maybe they have a nanny or something. That would make sense. The rich usually do have nannies for their kids. Andrew would tell me all the time about all the nannies he had growing up.

  I have to get my shit together. I need to get to the concert hall and I can’t do that if I don’t let this go. I made a promise to Alfonso and I refuse to break it. I’d never do anything to make him feel like he isn’t number one in my book. I would never want him to feel let down.

  I quickly wonder again if Carter feels the same way about his girls.

  I put the truck back in gear and head down to the hall. When I get there, I see that the lot is filling up quickly. Shit. My rig is going to take up a lot more room than my car would have so I’m going to have to park it way in the back.

  When I finally make it inside, the front of the auditorium is already full. It takes me a while, but eventually I find a decent seat. Not the seats I wanted, but at least Alfie will still be able to see me. And even if he can’t, I’m sure he’ll hear me cheering him on.

  I look around as the auditorium continues to fill up, searching for Angie. I know she’s got to be here by now as the concert is ready to begin but don’t see her anywhere. I would get up to look for her, but I’m not losing these seats. No sooner than I have that last thought, I feel a body slump down in the seat next to me. I look over and Angie’s appearance is all frazzled.

  “Thanks for the seat,” she drones.

  “What made you think that seat was for you?” I laugh as I sit back down.

  “Who else would you save it for?” she asks, brow raised like she’s daring me to answer. “It’s not like you’ve got any other friends but me, so obviously it’s mine.”

  She’s not wrong, so I’ll let it go. Normally I’d banter with her back and forth, but my mind is lost on other things right now.

  “Why are you late?” I ask her. Not that I don’t know. Angie will be late for her own damn funeral.

  “I’m here on time. I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she answers. “You obviously were late being as we’re not in the front row like we normally are. You’re always here so early, it guarantees us seats up front. Do you know how long it took me to find you back here because I was looking all through the front rows for you?”

  Of course, she would catch on to that. Before I have a chance to answer, the lights go down and the Master of Ceremonies steps on the stage.

  MY BOY WAS AMAZING! He’s always amazing but tonight, tonight was really his night to shine!

  “Auntie Elizabeth,” he yells, excitedly. “Did you see me? Did you see everyone stand up when I was done? Oh my God, Auntie Elizabeth, that was amazing.”

  He’s very excited and rightfully so.

  “I saw you, Alfie!” I reply. “You were the most amazing singer tonight. No one else was even half as good as you were. You’re gonna do big things kid!” I take my hand and I ruffle his hair with my last statement.

  I mean what I say. He is going to go somewhere with that voice of his. His dream one day is to go to Julliard in New York. I can definitely see that happening sooner rather than later. I’ve set up a college fund for him, so he won’t ever have to worry about having the means to do so.

  This boy is going to blow up the billboards one day and, come hell or high water, I’m going to be there to help make it happen.

  “Hey, Mom,” he looks back to his mother, “Mr. Donaldson wants to talk to you about a project he wants me to work on with him. He has a few students that he wants to take with him to the White House to sing for the President and I’m one of them. Can I, Mom, can I? Please, I promise I’ll do all my chores and I’ll get good grades. Please, Mom, it’ll mean everything to me.”

  “Stop, Alfonso,” Angie says as she puts her hand up, the smile adorning her face showing the pride she has in her son. “Of course, I’ll let you go. You don’t have to drone on and on and make all of these promises. I’d never keep you from something this important. Stay here with Aunt Elizabeth and I’ll go talk to your vocal coach.”

  “Thanks, Mom, you’re the best!” Alfie exclaims as he throws his arms around her in a big hug.

  I’m in awe of Angie’s relationship with her son. It could have turned out so much different with the circumst
ances surrounding Alfie’s conception but Angie has never let any pain from that show. I’m so proud of my best friend. I don’t think I would have been able to make the decision she did had I been in her shoes.

  “Come on,” I say to Alfie as I grab his hand. “Let’s get away from all of these people and wait for your mom over by the snack station.”

  Alfie loves his snacks. That he gets from me. I’m the bad influence when it comes to food. I love my chocolate and my sugar. If Angie wasn’t so strict when I’m not around, I’m sure Alfie would be as big as a house. If it weren’t for two hours’ worth of gym time a day for me, I sure as fuck would be.

  We head over to the snack table and each grab a plate full of goodies. Alfie tells me all about this upcoming trip to the White House and how his coach asked him to do a solo. He’s so excited and I’m just as excited for him. This is a once in a lifetime chance he’ll have and no doubt he’ll blow the entire cabinet away.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  CARTER

  RECITAL

  MY BABIES, they are truly amazing. They were absolutely perfect. I may be a little biased, but hey, I had three girls up on that stage that looked absolutely incredible.

  Isabella, though. After what I witnessed tonight, I realize that I may be dishonoring her talent by holding her back to stay with her sisters. She truly is a shining light on that stage and should be moved up. I will speak with Miss Jenny and let her know she was right. I hope this doesn’t affect the other two, but I can no longer deny that Isabella is a natural and should be training more than the other two.

  “Man, you’ve got your work cut out for you with that one,” Mikael states from behind me. “She’s going to be phenomenal. You’re likely going to have to pay a small fortune in training alone for her. But don’t worry, if you refuse, I’ll be happy to become her favorite person and do it for her.”