I was gobsmacked, dumbfounded, and thunderstruck, but not horrified. I threw my arms around his neck and whispered, “Yes!”
It’s not necessary to review what happened next on the loveseat in the basement, but it involved getting my ring back on my finger. I was pleasantly surprised later that evening when we were packing, and he brought my repaired watch to me.
“You know what,” I said. “I think this watch will always remind me of what we’ve just been through, and if we could make it through that mess, we can make it through anything.”
“My thoughts exactly,” he said and held up two horrible Hawaiian shirts. “Which one should I wear on the plane tomorrow?”
“The orange one, of course,” I said with a laugh.
We’d both been laughing or smiling ever since. We had been at the courthouse early this morning, obtained our marriage license, and we asked two strangers in the hallway to be witnesses for us. We were lucky and missed seeing that nasty, snoopy Vicki who worked at the bank as well as the courthouse, so we knew we wouldn’t be on the beauty shop gossip line anytime soon. I’d wait until we were in Hawaii before calling Mama, Pepper, and Hank.
We transferred planes in Los Angeles, and we were now enjoying our champagne while waiting for a group of passengers whose flight had arrived late. We were the only people in first class, so the late group was either a group of businessmen, or we were the only ones on the plane who had sprung for the exorbitant fare. I wasn’t comfortable to ask Glenn how he managed to pay for such an expensive vacation-honeymoon for us, but I would eventually.
I heard an odd yet familiar noise as the footsteps of the late arrivals thundered down the temporary ramp to the airplane’s door. I needed some new adjectives, because the way I felt next was way beyond gobsmacked and thunderstruck.
“I got her,” Keith yelled, and I heard him spray the air freshener.
Lucille was first through the doorway, smelling strongly of lavender. Keith was behind her.
“Wait a minute, young man,” the flight attendant said, stopping him. “How did you get through security with that can? You can’t have that in here.”
“If you take the can away from me, you’ll be sorry,” he said.
“Keith!” Pepper said sharply from just outside the door. “Give the lady the can.”
“Ok,” he said, handing it over. “But you might have to drop the oxygen masks over the Pacific Ocean. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
I managed to pick my jaw off the floor and looked at Glenn. He had a bigger than huge smile on his face.
“You knew they were coming!” I accused him.
He laughed. “They didn’t mind being left out of the wedding, but they wanted to come along on the honeymoon.”
I couldn’t stop shaking my head in disbelief as Buck and Kelly followed Lucille, Keith, and Pepper onto the plane. Mama and Roger boarded next, then Aunt Bee and Max, Hank and Nancy, and finally the last member of the Blue Hat Society, Rita. Each of them congratulated us as they passed. I was numb as I accepted hugs and kisses.
The attendant waited while one more person boarded. It was Floyd. I had no adjectives left at all when he sat down next to Rita and gave her a quick kiss on the lips.
“How in the world could anyone in my family afford this?” I asked softly. I looked at Glenn and asked, “How can we afford it?”
Lucille leaned across the aisle and said, “Dead Archibald’s paying for all of us – you two included. He doesn’t need the money anymore.”
Mama was behind me and leaned up over the seat. “Archie was Lucille’s second husband. He died and left her a fortune. She wanted to pay for your honeymoon as your wedding present and bring us along, too.”
Lucille fidgeted in her seat and said, “We’re going to see if we can get some chapters of the Blue Hat Society started in Hawaii.”
A flight attendant whisked our drinks away and asked everyone to buckle their seatbelts. Another attendant began announcing the pre-flight instructions. Glenn grasped my hand again to hold it. I squeezed his tight. I was so happy and so much in love with him, I felt my heart would burst.
Somewhere over the Pacific, I fell asleep with my head on Glenn’s shoulder. A slight commotion caused me to stir, and I opened one eye. A flight attendant rushed into the galley and returned with Keith’s air freshener. She sprayed a sleeping Lucille.
“Told ya!” Keith yelled from the back.
Mama farted behind us. “Oops,” she said. “Sorry.”
“I got one better than that,” Roger said and let one rip.
I looked up at Glenn. He was laughing so hard, he wiped tears away. He loved my family and thought they were a hoot, but I knew it would be a miracle if we weren’t all thrown off the island in a day or two. The Hawaiians weren’t ready for Mama, her cronies, or her family. I leaned back and smiled while a frazzled attendant sprayed Mama and Roger.
We would see soon enough.
###
Acknowledgements
As always, I want to thank my family for their love and support. My sister and I discuss the antics of Mama and her cronies and laugh until we cry.
My eighty-five-year-old mother continues to provide fodder for my writing. Two of my brothers were recently home visiting with her. She accidentally coughed as she attempted to stand from her chair, and an inadvertent passing of gas took place – loudly. My brothers are fast. One bolted to the other end of the sofa, while the other ran for the kitchen. Mom was laughing so hard, she never did get out of her chair.
My mother’s middle name is Lucille.
And finally, a nod of appreciation to the late Robert Turner and his story, Slaughter with a Smile, for inspiration when writing the murder at Chummy Burgers and More.
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Easy-breezy reading from Breezy Books!
Murder Under Construction, Two Sisters and a Journalist #1 – Jo Ravens is thirty-two, divorced, and stuck in a rut. She wants two things in life - a new career as a private investigator and to lose the sixty pounds she packed on after her divorce. When she crashes her nephew's bike in a construction site, she lands on a girl with a large knife in her chest. Jo enlists her sister, Pepper, and her journalist friend, Jackie, to help solve the girl's murder. Things become creepy for Jo when the girl appears to her in dreams and offers unusual clues to her death. Murder Under Construction is a humorous mystery with Jo's family adding to the antics of the three women. Mama caterwauls, Jackie's two children offer sleuthing assistance, and her brother, Hank, laughs at all of them from the sidelines.
Murder Is Where the Heart Is, Two Sisters and a Journalist #2 – Amateur private investigator, Jo Ravens, is the only common link in the murder of three people and the abduction of a cab driver. While police are busy building a case against her, Jo races to prove her innocence. Her sister, Pepper, and journalist friend, Jackie, are on hand to assist in catching the real killer. The antics of her ex-husband and eccentric Mama add to this humorous mystery.
Murder Welcomes You to Buxley, Two Sisters and a Journalist #3 – Jo is busy trying to locate a stolen car, find a missing teen, and catch a philandering husband in the act. She already has more work than she can handle when she finds a murdered girl leaning against a dumpster. Has the girl really been strangled for stealing a cell phone? Jo also meets Susan Hunter when Susan comes to town to assist in the opening of a Slimmer’s Weight Loss center. Their interaction, as well the continued antics of Jo’s madcap family, adds to the humor in Murder Welcomes You to Buxley.
Murder Wins the Game - Two Sisters and a Journalist #4 - A pan of lasagna and an out-of-control, lottery-playing Mama turn the life of private investigator Jo Ravens upside down. By the end of the week, Jo is so unpleasant and cranky, she has alienated all of her friends and family. Things get worse when she finds her highest-paying client murdered, and the primary suspect is the girl Jo was hired to follow. The icing on her
birthday cake is having to serve on jury duty – with Mama!
Murder Between the Covers – Two Sisters and a Journalist #5 - Take numerous suspects, mix them with the Buxley Legend of Stolen Confederate Gold, and you have a romp through a week with Jo as she attempts to prove a murder, overcome her fear of Glenn's basement, and help open Estelle's Emporium of Wonders.
~ ~ ~
Be sure to check out the Susan Hunter series from Maddie Cochere:
The Susan Hunter books are not your typical mysteries, and Susan is not your typical sleuth. Often, she is simply in the wrong place at the wrong time, and things go downhill quickly. All of the books cross genres of chick lit, mystery, romance, humor, and action, bringing you a fast-paced, easy-breezy read.
Sunshine Hunter, A Susan Hunter Mystery #1 – Working in a weight-loss center by day and a racquetball club by night, Susan Hunter enjoys her life, the sport, and her friends. … When she finds out her new boyfriend of three months is married, she bolts with her best friend to Florida for a week. But someone has followed them, and they are now being stalked. To make matters worse, a murder has been committed back home in Carbide City, and Susan is wanted for questioning. … Humorous, sometimes ominous, Sunshine Hunter is entertaining and perfect for easy, breezy reading!
Big Apple Hunter, A Susan Hunter Mystery #2 – Susan has life-changing decisions to make. Should she accept the new position with Slimmers Weight Loss? Should she give in and move the relationship with Mick to the next level? . . . When Darby has business in New York City, Susan jumps at the chance to tag along intending to indulge in a weekend of shopping. It doesn’t take her long to realize she’s being hunted in The Big Apple. And what does the stalker have to do with Darby’s new client? It becomes a matter of life-and-death when the stalker shows up in Carbide City demanding something that Susan lost in New York.
Sin City Hunter, A Susan Hunter Mystery #3 – Susan is in Las Vegas for ten days of work and play. Her parents come in from Dallas to spend some time with her and have their own fun. But fun turns to terror for Susan when a magic act goes wrong. … When a man is murdered, Susan knows who did it. Unfortunately for her, the killer knows that she knows. Her actions in Sin City ultimately put not only her own life on the line but that of Mick’s as well.
Big Easy Hunter, A Susan Hunter Mystery #4 – When Susan is accused of being a cat burglar, and a serial rapist is on the loose over by the mall, she takes off for New Orleans to attend a wedding and finds even more trouble in The Big Easy. … Humorous, sometimes ominous, Big Easy Hunter is entertaining and perfect for easy, breezy reading.
Windy City Hunter, A Susan Hunter Mystery #5 - It’s two weeks before Christmas. Susan and her best friend, Darby, travel to Chicago to compete in a national cooking competition. They aren’t even in Chicago an hour when they stumble upon a murder crime scene. The lead detective on the case is egged on by an eager insurance investigator, and Susan and Darby quickly become suspects. To make the weekend even more complicated, one of Darby’s cooking ingredients is sabotaged during the contest, and unbeknownst to them, they befriend a local art forger. With Mick away in England, things become desperate for them in The Windy City.
Maple Leaf Hunter, A Susan Hunter Mystery #6 - Susan and Mick have a romantic weekend planned in Niagara Falls and Toronto before her big meeting with a children’s book publisher. When they decide to spend the following week at a fishing lodge on the Ottawa River, Darby, Nate, and Alex decide to come along, too. A Sasquatch, gold hunters, a kidnapping, and dangerous men all make for another unforgettable vacation for Susan.
Buckeye Hunter, A Susan Hunter Mystery #7 - Susan travels to Southeast Ohio to assist in the grand opening of a Slimmers Weight Loss center. There she meets Jo, Pepper, and Jackie - local sleuths from Two Sisters and a Journalist. When a murder is committed on Susan’s doorstep, Jo is there to find the body. Susan can’t believe the trouble swirling around her even though she is only two hours from home. She makes a life-changing decision in this final book of the Susan Hunter series.
Visit the official website of Maddie Cochere at Breezy Books:
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Murder Page 15