“Cinnamon.”
“It’s yum. Better than Troy’s, but don’t tell him I said that.”
He gave her a half smile. “Now we both have a secret from Troy.”
She returned his half smile with one of her own. “Don’t kid yourself. Mine’s better.”
He laughed, although he kept it quiet to avoid waking Troy. “I’ll give you that one.”
“You know, you’re laughing more.” She inclined her head as she studied him. “And smiling.”
He shrugged. “That’s good, right?”
“Sure. But weird. I mean, with the whole flying thing. Which sucks. Hard. You should be super bummed.”
“Trust me, I am. Super bummed doesn’t even begin to cover it.”
“Right, but you actually seem happier than just on a normal visit. Which is weird.”
He reached across the island and ruffled her hair. “Maybe I’m just happy to see you.”
She rolled her eyes, and he thought, Damn, no one can do derision like a thirteen-year-old girl. They’ve got that shit down pat.
“Nice try. But I’m here, like, every visit? Nope. This is something else.”
They drank their cocoa in silence, the dim quiet in the kitchen making him feel like he was in a safe cocoon with his sister.
His little sister’s voice interrupted his reverie. “Maybe it’s because of Genevieve.”
“Wait…what?” It took him a second to even process what she’d said, he’d been so lost in his own thoughts. His heart beat faster at the thought that people might know what was going on. Shit, she’d kill him!
“Genevieve. Ella’s friend. You guys hang out, right? You always seem happy when you’re going to see her. You laugh more.”
He thought about that for a moment, casting his mind back over the years. He heard her voice in his mind, saw her smile, pictured her biting wit and animated way of expressing herself.
“See!” Mila insisted, breaking him out of yet another reverie. “You’re doing it again!”
He nodded, smile still firmly in place. “You’re right, kid. I guess I am.”
Chapter 10
The papers in front of Gen on the table in Main Street Eats had been shuffled so many times she was starting to forget what order they were actually supposed to be in.
She’d chosen the venue to meet Gavin for their committee planning meeting because she’d thought she’d be more comfortable here, considering Grace and Serge already know about her situation. She wouldn’t have to put on such a show, there were less people to fool. She’d be able to relax.
However, since she’d arrived, it seemed like relaxing was the last thing on her body’s agenda. No matter what her brain told it to do, butterflies soared through her belly and adrenaline pumped through her veins.
She made a point of folding her hands on top of the table, intertwining her fingers so she could hold them still. She straightened her back and fixed her gaze on the front door…then realized that the posture made her look way too formal.
Shit! I don’t want it to seem like I actually care what he thinks! Forget that I actually, apparently, do. I don’t want him to know that!
She readjusted herself into a studied cool pose, leaning back just enough against the booth bench seat that she gave the appearance of slouching without actually making herself look like the Hunchback of Notre Dame.
Holy shit, no! I know! Even better!
Why look like she was waiting for him at all? She whipped her phone out of her purse and furiously typed away, a look of intense concentration on her face.
When she caught his unmistakably sexy form walking in through the door out of the tiniest sliver of her peripheral vision, she ignored it. When he sat across from her in the booth, she still gave no indication that she’d noticed. She continued the focused movement of her thumbs for another good ten seconds before hitting the send button and causing the satisfying “swoop” sound that signified an outgoing text message to emit from her phone.
She reviewed the content of the oh-so-important message she’d texted to Ella. “Please disregard. You are merely a prop in my one man show. I’ll explain everything later. Toodles. Love you. Still have to look like I’m typing. Damn, this is long. Oh, okay here we go. Almost done. There, that’s good enough. Kbye.”
Only then did she look up at Gavin, wide smile on her face, and say, “Oh, hey! I didn’t notice you come in. Sorry about that. Work stuff.”
The corner of Gavin’s mouth curled just a little bit, and her lady parts lit up like a Christmas tree. God, that was her favorite facial expression of his—that barely perceptible smile that he only gave to her.
“Texting Ella, huh?” he deadpanned.
Her eyebrows shot up. “Work stuff,” she lied again, keeping her voice lofty to try and sell it.
He grinned, the full-fledged kind this time. “You’re lying. I always know. You have a tell.”
She narrowed her eyes. “What is it?”
“Hell, no. What fun would that be?”
Grace appeared at their table and gave a knowing wink. “Hmmm. Did I hear someone say fun?”
Gavin gave Gen a small, questioning eyebrow raise and Gen sighed dramatically. In her book, there was pretty much no other way to sigh. “Yeah, she knows. Sorry about that.”
“Don’t be sorry. I was never the one who didn’t want people to know about us.”
Gavin made the statement with just the slightest hint of inflection. That was his typical way of talking. Gen often thought that he modulated his voice just enough so that he didn’t sound like a damn robot…but not enough so that she had the slightest clue what was going on inside his head.
It was maddening, especially to someone like Genevieve, who always liked to have the upper hand. If she couldn’t figure out what he was thinking or feeling, she couldn’t figure out where she stood. And in an undisclosed location was her absolute least favorite place to stand!
Gen let the comment pass and turned to Grace. “Um, we’ll have two coffees. Black for him, sugar and creamer for me.”
“None for me, thanks. I can’t stay that long.”
“Sounds good, kids. Back in a minute.” Grace gave them both another wink as she left.
Gen raised her brow at Gavin across the booth. “What are you talking about? We’re supposed to be diving in on committee plans for the Fall Festival. You think that’s going to take less time than one cup of coffee requires?”
Her comment sounded salty as hell, even to her own ears, but she couldn’t help herself. She was on edge.
“Something came up.”
There was that patented Gavin Valentine barely-there inflection again. Was he sorry? Was he relieved?
Was he freaking taunting her?
No real way to know.
“Okaaaay,” she said, drawing out the last syllable to make a point of how annoyed she was that he insisted on being cagey. “Well. That explains it.”
He flashed an almost microscopic smile. “We could’ve planned half the festival by now, Rollins. Do you want to keep talking about this or do you want to get down to work?”
Well, that was a no-brainer. “Keep talking about this,” she answered definitively, and before the last word of the question had even completely escaped his mouth.
He shrugged, the movement compact and decisive and sexy as hell. Just like most things he did. “Well, that’s where you’re out of luck.”
She narrowed her eyes at him. “Fine. Let’s get to it.”
“Cool.” He narrowed his eyes right back at her.
Yeah, dude. You should be suspicious, she thought with a glint of delight. Because you can dodge all you want, but this isn’t over. I’m just letting you think it is.
Chapter 11
Dr. Brayer took his glasses off as he looked up from the papers he’d been studying and closed the file folder as he met Gavin’s eyes.
Shit.
The look on the doc’s face told him all he needed to know, and his heart
dropped into his stomach. Gavin would listen to the all the explanations, and options, and eventualities that he was sure his doctor was about to lay out, but for all intents and purposes, Brayer’s facial expression had delivered the test results for him.
“I take it I’m not getting back up in the air anytime soon.”
“It could be worse, Gavin. This isn’t a death sentence. Nothing like that.”
“If I can’t fly, it’s as good as one.”
“Don’t talk like that. This is a condition that likely won’t affect your day-to-day life.”
“Except for the fact that my day-to-day life will be on the ground.” His voice had lost every bit of color. That seemed fitting to him. That’s what the future looked like, too.
“True,” Dr. Brayer said, not unkindly. “But you’re not going to lose your sight. Your depth perception shouldn’t even be affected enough to keep you from driving. If you weren’t a pilot, you may have never even known this tumor was there.”
“I get it. My tumor’s so benign it practically doesn’t exist. It’s a molehill, not a mountain. That doesn’t mean I have to like it.”
Dr. Brayer sighed. “No, of course not. That’s not what I meant. This is going to be a huge adjustment, and I understand that. It simply concerns me when I hear patients talk about life not being worth living. If you’re struggling, there are counseling services I can refer you to.”
Gavin barked out a harsh laugh. “No offense, Doc, but having to talk this out with a shrink is maybe the only thing that could make it worse.”
“I understand the mindset. I won’t say I agree. Please keep it in mind should you have a change of heart.”
Gavin looked at the floor. He didn’t know why getting this news was hitting him so hard. After all, hadn’t he known deep down this was coming? Hadn’t he been all but positive that this is exactly what the test results would say?
Still. Being even 99.99 % sure wasn’t the same as hearing the words. That cold, hard 100% final diagnosis. And, the topper, seeing that resigned look of compassion in the doctor’s eyes. That had been the nail in the coffin for that last vestige of hope. Gavin felt gray and empty inside, his chest a yawning cavern that threatened to swallow him whole.
He raised his eyes to meet the doctor’s again. Gavin wasn’t one to wallow, and he wasn’t one to make a scene. If this was going to be reality, it was time to face it. “All right, Doc. Let’s talk next steps. What do we do now?”
Chapter 12
Gen sat on the bench in front of the VA hospital and wiped her sweaty palms against her jeans for about the fiftieth time in ten minutes. She couldn’t believe Gavin was here, at the hospital. The fucking hospital!
She’d known something big was up when he’d acted squirrelly about where he was off to. Gavin was not a squirrelly man. Sure, he played his cards close to the vest. Everything about him was on a need to know basis, and in his mind, very few people needed to know very much.
But if someone asked him a direct question, he replied with a direct answer. That was just how he was. Evasion was not a tool in his arsenal. As evidenced, she reflected with a grimace, by how artlessly he’d wielded it when he tried.
She’d made the split-second decision to follow him, Nancy Drew-style, and hadn’t second-guessed it for one minute. And now, sitting in front of the sprawling medical complex, she was glad as hell that she hadn’t.
If Gavin is sick…
Tears welled up in her eyes at the thought and she quickly pushed them down.
Nah. No. Uh-uh. Hell, naw. Big ol’ cup of nope. Opposite of yes, a thousand times. NO.
She wasn’t letting herself go down that road. Not yet, at least. Not until she first found out what was going on. And then gave Gavin hell for leaving her out of the loop.
When both of those tasks had been accomplished, then there would be plenty of time for emotions. Before that, she couldn’t afford to let herself soften up too much to deliver a Genevieve-worthy ass-kicking.
She straightened her shoulders and tilted her chin up defiantly as she spotted Gavin coming toward her down the walkway. She didn’t call out to him. She didn’t stand up straight, but continued to lean jauntily against the retaining wall that lined the entry path. The effect was intentional – she was going for casual insouciance, even though what she felt was anything but.
His eyes landed on her and he stopped in his tracks. Gavin being Gavin, that was the only indication she got that he was surprised, but it did give her a tiny glimmer of satisfaction to know she’d affected him even that much.
They stared at each other like that for a moment, neither of them moving a muscle or saying a word. His phone lit up in his pocket, but he made no move to retrieve it.
Gen allowed herself a small, sassy smirk. “Is that a phone in your pocket, or does your dick vibrate?”
“I guess I’m just happy to see you.”
“I’m good either way.”
“What are you doing here, Genevieve?”
“I followed you.”
“I figured. Why?”
“You were acting jumpy at coffee when you said you had to go. You have nerves of steel. Jumpy’s not in your wheelhouse. I had to make sure you weren’t planning something sinister.”
His lip twitched, but he didn’t give in to the smile. “Like what?”
She shrugged. “Like renting a plane and flying over the town blasting Nickelback, or, you know. Something equally as insidious.”
His face shuttered, and his eyes darkened. Gen knew right away she’d said exactly the wrong thing, but she had no idea how to backpedal. One thing Gavin wasn’t, and that was easy to read. Or forthcoming with his thoughts. It made having conversations a little challenging sometimes.
“God, sorry,” she continued in a rush, trying to joke her way out of it. “Big Nickelback fan, are you?”
He shook his head. “You wouldn’t understand.”
He walked past her, not looking back. She considered letting him go. Maybe it would be easier to never get embroiled in whatever this drama was.
Again…nah. No. Uh-uh. Hell, naw. Big ol’ cup of nope. Opposite of yes, a thousand times. NO.
If Gavin was in trouble, she was going to be there for him. Hell, that would’ve been true even if these confusing feelings hadn’t been popping up. He was, if nothing else, a long-time friend. And when it came to her friends, she was ride or die.
Preferably ride. But if it came down to it, she’d go to the mat.
She strode purposefully after him and grabbed his arm. “Nuh-uh, buddy. No way. You don’t get to just shut down and expect me to go away.”
“Gen, just stay out of it. Seriously.”
“So, that’s the plan? Just tell me to back off, and I’ll do it? Because I’m super meek and mild, and I always do exactly what I’m told. Right?”
He shook her arm off. His face was completely shuttered. It’s not like he was the most over-the-top expressive person in the world under normal circumstances, but she didn’t think she’d ever seen him look quite this cold and detached.
She geared up for the next thing he’d say. She had an argument prepared for whatever it might be.
But he didn’t say anything. That was the one eventuality she didn’t have a comeback for. He just stared at her blankly for a long moment, then turned and walked purposefully down the walkway.
She didn’t follow him. It would’ve been pointless. All she could do was stand there and watch him go.
Chapter 13
Gavin
Shit, dude. Could you have been any more of an asshole?
Gavin couldn’t believe how he’d spoken to Gen. He’d basically told her to mind her own business and stay out of his life. Of course, that’s what he really did wish people – not just her, but everyone – would do. But, still. It’s not something you just flat out said to someone.
God, the look in her eyes when he’d said those words. It had been heartbreaking.
And what had his response bee
n? To turn around and walk away without a backward glance.
Way to go, Valentine. You’re a real class act.
That was the thing, though. The more he thought about it – and thinking about it had been just about all he’d been doing for the entire drive home – the more he realized that he didn’t want Gen to stay out of his life. She was the first person in a very long time that he very much wanted to be close to.
The problem with that, though, was that he didn’t know how to start. He didn’t know what words to say, or how to respond to her words. He’d lived a life of solitude for so freaking long that letting someone into his life at this point just felt unnatural and awkward.
As a pilot, he was all about precision. Being in total control. Flying wasn’t something you did. It was something you were. It was more than a job, it was an identity, and one that he was born for.
But you aren’t a pilot anymore. Are you, Valentine?
That thought drove a stab of pain and regret so deep into his chest that he thought he might be having a heart attack. But, no, he realized. His heart wasn’t failing. Not literally. Not physically.
The worst part was, he didn’t think he could fix this. As bad as he wanted to, he was afraid that being vulnerable might just be the one skill that was beyond his ability. And, because of that, he may have just taken the best thing he had left in his life right now and fucked it all to hell.
Climbing out of the car, he decided to put the whole incident behind him. After all, there was nothing he could do about it now.
Except call her, you idiot.
He was starting to develop a real hatred for the voice in his head.
Turning the key in the front door, Gavin hoped that the house would be empty. God knew he loved his siblings, but what he really needed right then was some time alone with his thoughts.
“Hey, bro! Is that you? I’m in the kitchen.”
Well, there goes that idea.
Gavin stepped through the kitchen doorway and saw his brother taking a frozen pizza out of the package and sliding it onto the middle rack of the oven. “So, I take it Mila’s not home, then?”
Rescuing His Heart Page 5