Sharing a meal in her house was riskier, and for a brief moment, fear of that type of intimacy had made him hesitate. Then he’d decided it wasn’t a romantic gesture on her part. She wasn’t a temporary fling kind of woman, and she’d definitely avoid getting involved with a guy who’d declared he wouldn’t be adopting any animals.
They were friends, nothing more. He kept that firmly in mind as she exclaimed over the beauty of the cat trees he’d bought. Her appreciation felt great after all the time he’d spent agonizing over which to buy. She continued to rave about them as he carried each one into its designated space.
Anyone listening to her would have thought he’d brought her diamonds. Though he couldn’t imagine her getting this excited about mere jewelry. In fact, she’d probably hock it and put the money toward something for the animals.
When the second cat tree was settled in the portable building, they stood together and watched the cats adapt to their new climbing and scratching structure. Even though the cats had been through tough times, they were recovering their natural instinct to have fun. A few held back, but within minutes the carpet-covered towers were play central.
Ben laughed as a black cat chased a tabby in, out and around the tower. Then they reversed roles and the tabby became the aggressor until a calico joined in, making a three-way game of it.
“Wish I’d brought my camera.”
“I think that all the time, but even when I do remember to bring my camera, the results aren’t as good as yours.” Tansy stood beside him, her expression animated, her eyes bright with pleasure. She’d left her parka on, but it was unzipped.
He was resigned to having her as a friend and nothing more, so he shouldn’t notice how her red turtleneck sweater hugged her breasts. But he did. He shouldn’t have watched her during the mopping session, either, but he had. The fit of her jeans had affected the fit of his.
He wasn’t sure how he’d deal with his response to her when they were tucked inside her little blue Victorian house. He’d have to leave early if he found himself wanting to act on his feelings.
For now, though, he chose to make conversation and pretend that he could ignore the urge to kiss her.
“I really can teach you how to take good pictures,” he said. “It’s not that tricky.”
She glanced over at him. “I’m not sure I believe you. Some people are talented in one thing and some in another. I have an affinity for animals. You’re a genius with a camera.”
“Thanks for boosting my ego, but I’m no genius, Tansy. It’s a skill like any other. It can be learned.”
“I’m sure it can, but those who are gifted will always do a better job than those who aren’t. I know my limits.” She paused, her gaze tentative, her body language hesitant. “Maybe you would...no, that’s asking too much.” She looked away.
“You can’t leave me dangling like that. Tell me what you started to say.”
“Okay, but it’s fine if you say no. We’ll still be friends.”
“Tansy.”
“Would you consider volunteering to be our official photographer?”
His pulse leaped. Volunteering to take pictures for the shelter would mean he’d see her on a regular basis. His heart wanted to, but his brain said it was a bad idea. “It’s a thought.”
“Never mind. It would be an imposition. I’d offer to pay you, but as you know, money’s in short supply.”
“I didn’t say I wouldn’t do it.”
“But you didn’t jump at the idea, either. I’m sure it’s a lot to ask.”
It was, but not for the reason she thought. He was already becoming too attached to the shelter and to her. And that led only to pain. Yet refusing to help because he was conflicted about their relationship seemed petty, especially when he was fascinated by the kaleidoscope of cats arranging and rearranging themselves.
He’d had fun capturing the changing expressions on the faces of the dogs. But his photographer’s soul belonged to the cats. They were art in motion, a feline version of Cirque du Soleil. They begged to be photographed, and good pictures would go far to getting them new homes. Fortunately, it wouldn’t take any emotional involvement on his part. He was a professional; he knew how to keep his distance from his subjects.
He took a deep breath. “I’d be honored to be your official photographer.”
She turned to him, her eyes shining. “Oh, Ben, that’s so awesome. The cat trees are wonderful, and I would never want to discourage you from donating such things, but you have a skill that no one on our staff has. Eventually the pictures on the website and on Facebook will be dated as the animals are adopted. We need to give the newcomers their fifteen seconds of fame.”
“I’ll take care of that. But I’m still buying more cat trees when the new Kitty Condo goes up. These things are amazing.”
“And I’ll happily accept them. Oh, look! Casper’s stalking the others. Too cute.”
He’d noticed that she called each cat by name, and she’d done that with the dogs, too. “You have so many animals at The Haven. How do you remember who’s who?”
“That’s part of my talent, just like knowing how to frame a shot is part of yours.”
He nodded. “Point taken.” He continued to stand there, and the urge to cup the back of her head and taste her mouth became stronger. They needed to move on. “Anything else we should do?”
“Oh!” She turned to him. “I’m so sorry. I could stand here for hours watching the cats play, but you must be starving.”
“Hey, I understand. When I’m shooting something that fascinates me, a bomb could go off and I wouldn’t notice.” He’d had that reaction the morning of her TV appearance, but he decided not to mention it. He didn’t want to upset the delicate balance they’d achieved.
“Nevertheless, I promised to feed you, and it’s past time to honor that promise. Let’s go.”
He wasn’t about to argue with her. He’d eaten a quick lunch on the fly because he’d been buying cat trees, and food sounded great right now. Maybe a filling meal would curb his appetite for other things, things he shouldn’t be hungry for.
CHAPTER SIX
EVERY CHRISTMAS SEASON, Tansy anticipated that special moment when she felt the spirit of the holidays for the first time. As she and Ben walked through the parking lot toward the flagstone path connecting the administration building to her house, their breath fogged the air. They talked about the resilience of the cats who’d been taken from the hoarding situation, and the great photo ops that would be possible with so many fascinating subjects.
Fat snowflakes drifted down, sparkling in the white lights outlining the yellow Victorian and settling like bits of lace on Ben’s hat and coat. Tansy glanced over at her house, where she’d strung tiny multicolored LEDs along her porch railing and placed a small decorated tree on each side of her front door.
Both houses looked festive and ready to celebrate. The crisp scent of damp evergreens hung in the air. As a delicate snowflake landed on her cheek like a kiss, a rush of joy told her that once again, Christmas had arrived in her heart.
“It feels like Christmas,” she said.
Ben laughed. “Is that all it takes? A couple of cat trees?”
“No, I wasn’t thinking of the donation you made, which is wonderful. It’s the combination of the snow, and the Christmas lights....” And you walking beside me. But she wasn’t about to say that, so she improvised. “And how generous everyone has been to The Haven. All of a sudden the Christmas spirit hit me like an incoming snowball.”
“That’s great.” His tone was wistful. “I envy you.”
She wasn’t sure how to respond to that. “Hey, it’s only the middle of December. You have lots of time to get in the mood.”
“Not everybody gets in the mood, you know.”
She hesitated.
“You don’t?”
“No.”
“Not ever?”
“Can’t say that I have.”
She thought she should drop the subject because it seemed to be a touchy one, so she remained silent.
“The thing is...”
“Mmm?” She didn’t even want to use an actual word to prompt him, for fear he’d clam up completely. She sensed that whatever he’d started to say wasn’t something he mentioned to many people. Maybe not to anyone.
He sighed. “Never mind.”
He’d retreated. His behavior reminded her of animals who’d come from bad situations and were afraid to trust. She let the silence stretch between them and figured that was the end of his willingness to share something personal. Then, to her amazement, he spoke again.
“I think you have to have a store of good Christmas memories to draw on from when you’re young.” He cleared his throat. “That’s how I think you get the Christmas spirit, tapping into that.”
Her heart ached for him, but she kept her voice light. “I’ve never looked at it that way, but that could be true.” What had his childhood been like, that he had no happy memories of Christmas? More than anyone she knew, this man needed the unconditional love of an animal...or a person.
She led the way up her porch steps and reached for the front door latch.
“You don’t lock it?”
“I don’t bother if I’m right next door and I have an alarm like Ewok and an enforcer like Wookie in residence. Besides, I’m sure even burglars know that anyone running an animal shelter is probably broke. Don’t expect cut crystal wineglasses and fine china at my house. My family and friends know to give me stuff for the shelter or a donation to whatever fund-raiser we have going.”
Ben smiled. “I can hear your fan club coming.”
She could, too. Ewok’s toenails scrabbled on the hardwood floor as he raced toward the door. Wookie was coming, too, but he signaled his happiness with a noise in his throat that was somewhere between a moan and a whine. She opened the door. “Honeys! I’m home!”
Ewok danced with joy and she gathered him up in her arms, but she managed to reach out a hand and stroke Wookie’s head at the same time. “Good to see you, guys. And look who I brought with me, Ewok. Your friend from the TV station. Doggies, meet Ben Rhodes, top-notch photographer. Come on, Ben. We need to let them out in the yard for a bit, and then we’ll get started on dinner.” She set Ewok back on his feet.
The dogs knew the routine, so she followed them through her living room with its secondhand furniture and the small dining room with more of the same. Then she turned left into the kitchen. The door at the end of it opened onto a porch and a fenced yard. Both dogs stood waiting impatiently in front of the door.
“Cozy place,” Ben said as he followed her.
“I actually love it. The house belongs to the foundation that runs The Haven and can’t ever be mine, exactly, but it’s mine for as long as I do a good job.”
“Then it should be yours for a very long time.”
“Not if we go broke with the roofing repairs.” Tansy opened the back door. “Okay, guys, out you go!” Ewok shot out first, and then Wookie padded through the doorway and took the porch steps in one bound. She stepped out on the porch and glanced over her shoulder at Ben. “I usually stand out here until they’re ready to come in, but you don’t have to.”
“Sure I do.” He joined her on the porch and closed the door behind him. “I’m not going to cower in the warm house while you’re out here in the cold. In fact, if you want to go in and start heating up that soup, I’ll supervise the operation here.”
She gazed over at him. “You really are famished, aren’t you?”
“Yes.”
Something in the way he said it made her heart beat faster. But he was probably talking about food. It was late, well past most people’s dinner hour. “Okay, if you’re willing to watch them, I’ll go turn on the stove.”
“Excellent.”
Ducking inside, she took off her coat and hung it on a peg by the back door. Then she pulled the soup pot out of the refrigerator and set it on a burner. Soon the aroma of carrots, onions, diced tomatoes and potatoes filled the kitchen.
She buttered several slices of her favorite cheddar cheese yeast bread, wrapped them in foil and popped them in the oven. The meal wasn’t fancy, but adding a bottle of wine would make it a little more gourmet. She wondered if he liked wine, and whether he preferred red or white.
Opening the back door, she stuck her head out to ask him and discovered he was no longer on the porch. The sound of his laughter filled the air, mingled with happy dog barks. When she walked out onto the porch, the glow from the porch light revealed a scene that made her heart squeeze.
Ben, who professed not to want animals in his life, was romping with her dogs. Snow fell around them as all three leaped and ran through the cold night air.
As if sensing her presence, Ben skidded to a stop and glanced in her direction. “They were really amped up and I figured they’d give us some peace if I played with them a bit. Was that okay?”
“Of course it’s okay!” She smiled. “But dinner’s ready.”
“We’re a mess.”
“Don’t worry about it. I’ll get some old towels. Be right back.” Still smiling, she went inside to put on her coat and grab the towels.
No matter what Ben might say, his actions proved to her that he would be a happier man if he allowed animals into his life. But she wouldn’t try and convince him anymore. She’d let Ewok and Wookie do it for her.
* * *
AFTER HELPING TANSY with doggie cleanup, Ben gestured toward the wood in a metal rack on the back porch. “Do you use your fireplace?”
“I sure do.”
“Mind if I build us a fire and we eat dinner in front of it?”
“Sounds great to me.”
He left his wet boots on a mat in the kitchen. Then he busied himself with logs, kindling and newspaper. Having something to do kept him from thinking about the bonehead comments he’d made about his lack of happy Christmas memories. He had no idea why he’d felt the need to reveal something so personal. Luckily she hadn’t pressed for details, but he’d have to watch himself from here on out.
The fireplace was great, and made him wonder why he’d never had one in any of the places he’d rented over the years. He’d seen them as an amenity for a vacation cabin or a ski lodge, not a home. He needed to remedy that.
While he tended the fire, she set up their dinner arrangement. Soon the fire was crackling nicely and they were sitting on the floor in front of it, bowls of steaming soup and warm bread laid out on her coffee table. She’d fed Ewok and Wookie when they’d come back inside, and they were now both zonked out, Wookie next to Ben and Ewok next to Tansy.
Ben sat beside Tansy with a few inches between them. He’d left that space on purpose. This was a dinner shared by friends, not lovers.
The energy in the room might go a notch past friendship on the relationship meter, but that only served to sharpen his enjoyment of the food and the cozy setting. He couldn’t remember ever being happier. “This is great.” He sipped his red wine and took a bite of the fragrant bread. “Thank you.”
Pausing with her spoon in midair, she gazed at him with softness in her blue eyes. “Got to treat my volunteers right.”
He wasn’t sure if he was the reason for that look in her eyes, but he liked thinking he made her happy, even if it was a friendly kind of happy. “I’m glad I played with the dogs, it seemed to be good for them.”
“It was, and I’m thrilled they got the exercise. They’ll sleep well tonight.”
“Good.” He took a mouthful of soup and realized exactly how hungry he was. He finished off more than half of what was in his bowl before he spoke again. “Does
it ever get to be too much, living right where you work?”
“Never. This is my dream. I’ve wanted to help animals ever since I was a kid.”
“Brothers or sisters?”
“No, although my parents had planned to have more than one kid. It took them forever to have me. They were both in their forties. So they filled the house with dogs and cats, instead. Having a lot of animals around seemed normal to me.” She chuckled. “My folks still have quite a menagerie.”
“Here in Tacoma?”
“No, they got tired of the winters and moved to Arizona. They’d love it if I’d move down there, too, but I’ve found my bliss with this foundation. I’m not going anywhere.”
He was glad to hear it. As much as he worried about his intense emotional reaction to Tansy, he didn’t want her to leave town. “I’m pretty settled here, too,” he said.
“It has lots of good points.”
“Yep.” Tacoma had always felt like home to him, maybe because it was the last place he’d lived with Mickey. So, once he was on his own, he’d moved back here. His aunt and uncle had continued to roam, and last year they’d headed to Mexico in an RV. He’d had no word since then, but they’d never been big on keeping in touch.
“It’s great, what you’re doing with The Haven,” he said. “But don’t you ever get discouraged?”
She turned her head to look at him. “You mean because I can’t save them all?”
“Something like that, yeah.”
“The fact is, I can’t save them all, but if I let myself dwell on the negative side of the ledger, I’m wasting valuable energy. Instead I think about all the ones I have saved.”
“The glass-half-full theory.”
“That’s me.”
Indeed. He looked into those luminous eyes and finally began to understand how strong she was and how perfectly suited to the work she’d chosen. “That’s inspiring.”
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