On the last Friday of the month, Timothy and Lillian walked outside after the children had been dismissed. The air held a decided chill. Winter was tapping at the door.
The playground was empty. The students had gone. Timothy breathed in the clean, crisp air and smiled. It had been a wonderful week. Wonderful because he had been able to share it with Lillian.
She pulled her shawl tight across her chest. “Don’t you love how quiet it is when they aren’t here?”
“Actually, I kind of miss the noise.”
Looking over the schoolyard, he noticed a doll that had been forgotten beside the swing set. Walking over, he picked it up and brushed the dirt from the little black apron. “I see one of our scholars couldn’t bear to leave school.”
Lillian took it from him. “This belongs to Marietta. She’ll be missing it soon. She rarely goes anywhere without it. I’ll drop it by her house on my way home.”
Lillian would do anything for her students. “I see why you do it. I see why you say you love this job. You are so good at it.”
She poked him in the chest. “So are you. Hannah has been struggling to read for ages. She was embarrassed to read aloud in front of the other students. Having her read to Bella was the perfect answer.”
“It was only something I read. I wasn’t sure it would work.”
“Bella makes a wonderful teacher’s helper. Devoted, uncritical of Hannah’s slow and painful progress. She simply wants to have Hannah and the others beside her. It is the dog’s acceptance of their less than perfect attempts that give them the courage to try more.”
“We should ask the school board to give Bella a salary,” he said with a chuckle.
“You can give the dog the credit if you want, but you are the one who helped Hannah succeed. I saw the light in her eyes when she finished her first book. She was so excited.”
“I saw it, too,” he admitted.
Lillian took a seat on the swing, pushed back and began to swing to and fro. “That is exactly why I love this profession. Every child has such bright potential. To see them uncover that potential is a gift.”
Timothy stepped behind her and gave her a gentle push. “I wonder if you know how much your eyes light up when you talk about these children.”
* * *
Lillian smiled. “I know pride is a sin, but I am proud of the children and all they accomplish.”
“It is not a sin to take pride in what others have accomplished. Only to take pride in what we believe we have achieved, when God is the giver of every gift. I’m amazed at what you and the children have taught me. The Lord has blessed me with many gifts, Lillian, but chief among them is the friendship of an honorable woman.”
She felt the heat rise in her cheeks. “Danki. Your friendship is a gift to me, too. What interesting thing do you have planned for your seventh and eighth graders next week?” she asked to steer the conversation away from personal things.
“For my history class, I thought we would build several Native American structures, since we’re studying the tribes of the Eastern states first. By the end of the week, we will be studying the Plains Indians and the tribes of the desert Southwest. Since we don’t have any cliffs that we can carve into homes, I thought I would have them build a tipi and a wigwam. Then I think I’ll have them write an essay on comparisons using the structures for our English lesson.” He gave her a shove, sending her swinging higher.
“Killing two birds with one stone, very goot. Turning your history lesson into an English lesson is smart, and I’m sure the children will enjoy it.”
“I expect I will have to supply the poles and saplings.”
“At least you don’t have to kill a buffalo for the hide.”
“Nee, I think a large tarp will serve the same purpose.”
She leaned backward in the swing so that she could see him. “This is fun, isn’t it?”
“Playing on the swings?”
“Nee, talking about the children, about their problems and their successes. Sharing what we would like them to learn. It’s fulfilling.” She hadn’t realized how lonely it had been being the only teacher. Now that she had Timothy to share her joys and sorrows, it made her happiness complete.
He stopped her and twisted the chains around so that she was facing him. “I do like sharing my days with you. These past two weeks, I have been happier than I’ve ever been in my life, and it’s all because of you.”
She knew that he was going to kiss her. The rational part of her mind said all she had to do was turn her face aside. The lonely womanly part of her mind made her lift her face to him and close her eyes.
The touch of his lips was oh so gentle. He pulled back. She opened her eyes. He was waiting for her protest. She didn’t want to object. All she wanted was to feel the touch of his lips again. And that was foolishness.
She slipped out of the swing and stood. He let go of the chains and cupped her face in his hands. “You are so beautiful.”
Before she could reply, he was kissing her again. Somehow her arms found their way to his shoulders and then around his neck as he pulled her close and deepened the kiss. Nothing had ever felt as wonderful as being held in his embrace. She leaned closer and the world slipped away leaving them the only two creatures in the universe, bound together by a newfound passion.
His lips were firm but gentle as he brushed the corner of her mouth. She tipped her head slightly offering him her silent consent. He took advantage of her willingness. His mouth moved back to hers and he deepened the kiss. It was more wonderful than she had imagined. Her heart galloped in her chest as her breath came in short bursts. She gripped his shoulders to steady herself and kissed him back.
A few long wonderful seconds later, he pulled away. She opened her eyes to stare up at him. His face mirrored her wonderment. She didn’t know how to react or what to say.
Regret slowly filled eyes. “I’m sorry, Lillian. I shouldn’t have done that.”
She pressed her hand to her lips. They still tingled from his touch. There was no going back to the way things were before. “Don’t be sorry.”
“I never meant for this to happen.”
“I know, but it has. Now we have to face the fact that we are only human.”
“I care for you. As a friend and as a woman.”
“Then as my friend, I’m going to ask you to forget that this happened.”
“I don’t think I can.”
She touched her fingers to his lips. “You must. There is no future for us on this path.”
“How can you say that?”
She stepped away from him. “I say it because it is the truth. You’re a fine man. The woman who wins your heart will be blessed above all others. My heart belongs to the children, Timothy. I won’t give them up. There can’t be a repeat of this. Perhaps you should go now.”
She could see he wanted to say more, but in the end, he simply nodded.
“All right. I’m sorry.” He turned and walked away.
Lillian watched him until he was out of sight around the bend in the road. Then she sank to her knees as silent tears marked their paths down her cheeks.
* * *
Timothy walked home with his emotions in turmoil. He didn’t regret kissing Lillian, but it had been a mistake. He had asked her to choose between him and the thing she loved. She cared deeply for him, her kiss told him that, but she wasn’t going to give up teaching.
He reached the bridge and started across the river using the pedestrian walkway that had been built alongside the covered bridge. Halfway across, he stopped and rested his arms on the railing as he stared down into the churning waters. He’d been a fool, but at least he didn’t have to hide his feelings any longer.
“I hope you aren’t planning to jump.”
He looked up to see Joshua coming toward him.
“I’m not. I don’t see how getting cold and wet will improve my outlook.”
“What’s wrong?” Joshua stopped beside him.
Timothy continued staring at the water. “I kissed Lillian.”
“I take it things didn’t go well afterward.”
“Not exactly. She likes me a lot, but she won’t give up teaching.”
“That’s tough. What are you going to do about it? I’d sure hate to see you quit. Hannah speaks very highly of you. She says Abe Mast doesn’t tease her anymore because you won’t let him.”
“I’m glad I made one person happy.”
“Did you tell Lillian she doesn’t have to make a decision right away? That you would wait for her?”
“I didn’t get a chance to say much, but I don’t want to wait.”
“Isn’t she worth it?”
“She is worth it. Do you think I’ve ruined my chances with her?”
“No one but Lillian can answer that.”
“What do you think I should do?”
* * *
When she got home that evening, Lillian washed her face at the outside pump, scrubbing away the last traces of her tears. She didn’t expect Jeremiah to notice she had been crying, but she didn’t want to explain if he did. Entering the house, she hung her bonnet and shawl from a peg by the front door. She noticed that Amanda’s shawl was missing.
Turning around, she saw Amanda running in from the other room to greet her. Jeremiah came to the door of the living room. “You’re kind of late getting home tonight.”
“I had a lot to do at school.” She looked down at Amanda. “Where have you left your cloak this time?”
Amanda scrunched up her face as she tried to remember. “I think I left it in Jeremiah’s buggy. We went to see the puppies again and we had supper with the Weaver family. I might get a puppy of my own when they are old enough. Shall I go get my cloak?”
Lillian shook her head. “Go get ready for bed and say your prayers. I will find it in the morning.”
Jeremiah said, “Mrs. Weaver sent some supper home with us. It’s in the oven if you want it.”
“Danki. How is the job going?” He had won the bid on their construction project.
“It’s good. I might have another job lined up when I’m done with this one.”
“You’re working so hard. Daed will be pleased with you. Was there any mail?”
He gestured toward the counter. “A letter from Mamm. I’ll let you read it. I’m going to turn in.”
“Good night.”
Lillian pulled her supper out of the stove, but found she wasn’t hungry. She ate a few bites and put the rest away. She wasn’t sleepy; far from it. She needed something to take her mind off Timothy’s kisses. His wonderful, wonderful kisses. Now that she knew what she was giving up, it was even harder to think about staying friends.
She opened her mother’s letter and read through the three pages quickly. Onkel Albert continued to improve, and her father now planned to return to Wisconsin permanently. They would be home in two weeks to pack up and arrange the move. There were two openings for teachers in the area if Lillian decided she didn’t want to stay in Bowmans Crossing but wanted to return to Wisconsin with her parents and Amanda. The decision wasn’t as simple as it had seemed before Timothy kissed her.
Restless, and undecided, she pulled on her shawl and opened the door, hoping a short walk would bring some peace of mind. Her brother had parked the buggy in its usual place beside the barn. Taking a flashlight from the kitchen drawer, Lillian went to get her sister’s cloak.
The night air had a distinct chill to it and she wished she had taken the time to put on her heavier cloak. She hurried across the yard and opened the buggy door. She shone the light on the front seat, but it was empty. Amanda had probably left her shawl at the Weaver Farm. She just hoped it hadn’t been left with the puppies.
She pulled open the back door, swept her light across the interior and caught sight of a small amount of fringe sticking out from under the seat. She reached over and pulled the garment free. As she did, a blue metal canister rolled out with it. Lillian realized she was looking at a propane tank. Picking it up, she could tell it was full by the weight. The cool metal tank was perfectly harmless by itself. It was only when it was attached to a device made especially for it, such as a lantern, a flame-spreading head or a camp stove, that the gas inside was released and could be ignited.
She turned the beam of her light under the seat and pulled out two more canisters. Why would her brother have so many of these small bottles? Jeremiah had never cared for campouts and she’d never seen him with a propane lantern. He preferred battery-operated torches like the one she held.
A cold breeze sent a sudden shiver down her spine. Were these the same kinds of canisters the arsonist had used to start his fires?
Timothy would know. Should she tell him? What if her brother had them for an innocent purpose and he was unjustly arrested because of her? It had happened to Timothy’s brother. She was duty-bound to protect Jeremiah until she was absolutely sure of his guilt.
The simple thing to do was to ask Jeremiah why he had them, but she couldn’t. How could she admit she suspected her own brother had committed these crimes?
Lillian bundled the canisters together in Amanda’s shawl and carried them into the house. Both Amanda and Jeremiah had gone to bed. In her room, she found a box and laid the canisters in it. Glancing around, she realized it would be easy for Jeremiah to find them if he searched the house. She needed a better hiding place. Would he think to search the school? Maybe, but it was better than having them where he might easily find them.
Grabbing her heavy cloak, she went out the door and walked silently through the night until she reached the school. She placed the box in the bottom drawer of a filing cabinet and locked the drawer. On Monday, she would ask Timothy what she should do. He was the one person she knew she could trust.
Chapter Seventeen
Early on Saturday morning, Timothy hitched up his buggy and drove to the home of Bishop Beachy. He needed advice. There had to be a way to let Lillian keep teaching and for them to be together. The bishop came out of the house when Timothy arrived.
Lines of worry sat heavily on the bishop’s face, but he managed a smile. “Good Morning, Brother Timothy. What brings you out this way?”
“I am in need of your counsel.”
“Well, then, come in. What is troubling you?” The bishop opened the door of his house and Timothy stepped into the kitchen that smelled of dough and fresh-baked bread.
The bishop’s wife looked up with a bright smile. “Hello, Timothy. I’m afraid you caught me making bread. I’m covered in flour.”
“Don’t mind me. Mamm is making bread this morning, too.
“It’s all right, dear,” the bishop said. “Timothy and I will be in my office.”
“Shall I bring you some coffee?” she offered, dusting her hands on her apron.
“Nothing for me, danki,” Timothy said.
“Don’t interrupt your work. We’ll be fine.” The bishop led the way to the rear of the house and a small bedroom that now served as his cluttered workspace. He moved some books from a chair and gestured to Timothy. “Sit down. How can I help you?”
“You know that Lillian and I are both teaching at the school.”
“Ja. How is that working out for you?”
“Fine. I love it. Never in my wildest dreams would I have considered being a teacher, but now I can’t imagine doing anything else.”
“I’m happy to hear that. The Lord moves in mysterious ways, does He not? So, what is the problem?”
“Lillian loves teaching, too. As much as I do, or more.”
“We are blessed to have two people so dedicated to our children.”
“I want to ask Lillian to marry me.”
“Oh, I see. That’s a big step. Are you sure this is what God wants for you?”
“I hope it is. I’ve prayed about it, but I know Lillian doesn’t want to give up teaching. Is there a reason she can’t teach after we are married?”
“Being a wife and a mother is a sacred duty that must come before any job, Timothy. I’m sure you understand that.”
“I do, but couldn’t she continue to teach until our first babe arrives?”
“This is an unusual request. I, too, must pray about it.”
Timothy hid his disappointment. He wanted an answer today.
“Will it be awkward for the two of you to continue to work together?” the bishop asked.
Timothy shook his head. “The children take all our time during school hours. They have our full attention. I don’t let my feelings for Lillian interfere with my work.”
“How do you think the kinder would feel knowing the two of you were wed?”
“I think they would accept it. Many married couples work together. Emma and Luke will work together in her store. Rebecca helps Samuel with record-keeping and orders for the business. Every wife is a helpmate to her husband.”
“What you say is true. If the school board has no objections, I can offer none.”
Timothy left the bishop’s home feeling more hopeful. If he could convince Lillian he was willing to have a long engagement and that she could work after their marriage until their own children came along, she might find it acceptable. There was only one flaw in his plan. Lillian hadn’t said that she loved him.
Timothy returned home and stopped by the woodworking building to pick up the pager. It was his day to be on call. After that, he hitched up a team to the planter. As he drove the horses across the bridge, he saw Brandon and Debra waiting for him at the edge of the field.
“Your horses are so pretty.” Debra immediately went to the head of the team. The big gray Percherons lowered their heads for some attention.
Brandon stood at his vehicle with an array of soil testing chemicals spread out on the hood. “I’m almost finished.”
His Amish Teacher Page 15