by Lexi Lawton
“Yeah, me, too.” She smiled. “Paige, this is a friend of mine from college. Xander Collins.”
“Nice to meet you.” He shook Paige’s hand.
“Uh…” Her gaze darted back and forth between Kylie and Xander as if looking for more of an explanation. “I thought for sure Celeste would be here with you.”
“She had a huge exam for one of her classes. She couldn’t get away,” she said, noticing the way Paige was still holding Xander’s hand, despite the fact he’d tried to pull away.
“I’m sorry I didn’t get a chance to see her again.” Paige finally released Xander’s hand and looked away quickly. “Are you going to be in town for a couple of days?”
“No, we have to get back to school. We’re leaving tomorrow. Why?”
“Oh.” Her face fell. “A bunch of us are going to McThirsty’s Thursday night. I was going to say you should stop by. I know there are a few people who’d love to see you again.”
McThirsty’s was the local hangout. She’d been going there since high school. The place was a dump, but it was the only bar that didn’t check IDs. Sheriff Rick was constantly busting underage drinkers. Because he knew all of the kids who went there, he’d usually let them off with a warning “just this once,” but even when he caught them there again and again, the most he’d do was call their parents. It was a small wonder the owner hadn’t lost his liquor license by now.
“That would have been nice. Maybe next time I’m in town.” She looped her arm through Xander’s and rested her head on his shoulder in a move that was purely possessive. Even though she had no claim to him whatsoever, she didn’t like the idea of Paige trying to flirt with him. Suddenly, Kylie knew exactly how Xander had felt when the guy at the fast-food place had flirted with her.
“Ready to go?” His gaze was on her and her alone, almost like he was oblivious to anyone else around them.
“Yeah.” Guilt stabbed at her. She really should stay until all the guests left, but she wasn’t in any shape to do so. She’d already had one public breakdown. She didn’t want to have a second one. And her head ached.
Xander gave Paige a smile and nod, then escorted Kylie out to his car. He stopped at the passenger’s door but didn’t open it; his keys were clutched tightly in his hand. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?” She didn’t even try to hide her confusion.
“For everything.” He shrugged. “I don’t know.”
He caressed the side of her face with the back of his hand, and she leaned into his touch. “You’re being kind of weird right now.”
His lips twitched with an almost smile, but he didn’t say anything else.
“If there’s something you want to say, then say it.” Her heart was in her throat, pounding hard.
“Remember that conversation we had while we—”
“Miss Quinn!”
Kylie turned at the sound of her name to see a stocky, overweight man rushing toward her.
“Miss Quinn?” He stopped in front of her, out of breath. “I’m Mr. Stanton, your grandmother’s attorney.”
“Oh yes, I remember you.” She’d met him a few times before, when he’d come to the house. Every time he’d shown up, Nammy Joyce had taken him into one of the back rooms and closed the door. When she asked why, Nammy Joyce said it was because she had personal business with the man. She now knew her grandmother had been putting all her final wishes in writing.
“As I’m sure you know, your grandmother had me draw up a will.” Mr. Stanton loosened his tie and pulled at his shirt collar. “You’re the primary beneficiary of her estate.”
Kylie stared at him like he’d sprouted a second head. She had no idea what that meant.
“Her son, your father, will also inherit some of her estate. I’d like to schedule a time for a formal reading of the will. Does Monday morning work for you?”
“Um.” She glanced at Xander for some input, but he remained silent. “I’m sorry, but that doesn’t really work for me. I have to get back to school. Can we do it later this afternoon?”
He shook his head. “I have to be in court in half an hour. What about Friday morning at eight a.m.?”
Her temples throbbed. That meant staying an extra two days and missing more classes. Xander had already done so much for her; how could she ask him for this, too?
“That works,” Xander said, but his face was taut with an emotion she couldn’t name.
“Perfect.” Mr. Stanton dug a business card from his pocket and held it out to her. “I’ll see you then.” He nodded and then walked across the parking lot toward his car.
She flipped the card around in her hand. “Xander, you—”
He held up his hand to silence her. “I know what you’re going to say. Don’t.” He shook his head. “You need to be here to take care of this. I’ll deal with Brad and my classes, okay?”
Exhaustion weighed her down, and she yawned. Her eyes burned. “Okay.” She got into Xander’s car, her head pounding with everything that had happened. She wanted a hot shower and a nap. Once he’d gotten into the car and pulled out of the church parking lot, she turned to him. “You don’t have to stay, you know.”
“What?”
“For the will reading. You don’t have to stay. I can stick around to meet with Mr. Stanton, then catch a flight back to Florida.”
The muscle in his jaw ticked, and he narrowed his eyes. “Do you want me to go?”
She turned to stare out the passenger’s side window. “No.” That small, two-letter word was thick on her tongue. She wanted him to stay. She wanted him to be more than her friend, more than the guy who’d come to her rescue when she’d needed him. She put her head on the window. “But I don’t want you to stay out of some sort of misplaced obligation, either. And you really shouldn’t miss another day of classes because of me.”
He made a growl-like sound and muttered a curse under his breath, but he didn’t say anything more. Neither did she.
Chapter Twenty-One
Xander paced in his room, hands laced on top of his head. The moment they’d returned to the house, Kylie had gone straight to her room and closed the door, shutting him out in more ways than one. He’d heard the passion, the longing in her voice as she’d talked about the love her grandmother and grandfather had shared. He might be a fuckup, but he wasn’t stupid. He knew she wanted all of that, and she wanted it with him. He wanted all of that, too.
“Fuck.” He blew out a breath and flopped down onto the bed.
He wanted nothing more than to be with her right now, to hold her and comfort her and tell her everything would be all right. But could he do that and not cross every boundary he’d put in place for himself? He was terrified of taking her virginity only to have her regret it after the fact. And knowing she was grieving and vulnerable… If he ever needed to keep a safe distance, it was right now.
She’d suggested he leave. Like that would ever happen. What kind of guy did she think he was? There was no fucking way in hell he’d leave her in Ohio without a way back to Florida. She was insane to have even suggested it.
His cell phone rang, startling him out of his thoughts. Grabbing his phone from his pocket, he answered, “Hello?”
“Xander, it’s Celeste. Is Kylie with you?”
“No.” He sat upright. “I mean, we’re together, but she’s sleeping. Why?”
“I’ve been trying to call her, see how she’s doing after today, but she’s not answering my calls. I thought maybe you two were out together or something.”
He rubbed his hand over his face. “No. She’s pretty upset. Her father didn’t show up at the funeral. I don’t know if she’s happy or pissed about that, but she locked herself in her room when we got back and hasn’t been out since.” And he’d tried, repeatedly, to get her to come out. But she gave him the same answer over and over again: go away, Xander. I need to be alone. The thought of her in that room, alone and crying, broke his heart.
“Oh.” There was a brief pause. “
I really should’ve been there with her.”
He stood. “She understands why you couldn’t be.”
“Still.” She sighed. “Can you please tell her I called, and that I’m worried about her?”
“Sure.”
“Thanks.”
Xander ended the call and tucked his phone into his back pocket. He left his room and went to hers. “Kylie?” He knocked.
To his surprise, she opened the door. Her eyes were bloodshot, but she no longer looked tired. Her hair was freshly brushed and hanging around her shoulders. She’d changed out of her dress and now wore sweatpants and a T-shirt. His gaze roamed down her body, memorizing every detail. “I was getting worried.” He leaned against the doorframe and crossed his arms.
“Sorry I slept so long.”
“Don’t apologize. Are you feeling a little better?”
She shrugged.
“It’s almost seven o’clock. Are you hungry?”
“A little, but I don’t want to go anywhere. And I’m almost positive there’s nothing in this house to eat.”
“That’s okay.” He straightened. “We can order takeout, or I can go get something and bring it back.”
“The local diner delivers. They have the best chicken parm.”
He smiled, and his stomach growled. “That sounds perfect.” He moved away from the door and into the hallway.
She followed. “I’ll call and order the food.”
“I can do it, if you want. But I’ll need the number.”
“No, I need to do something or I’m going to lose my mind.”
He nodded, and they went downstairs. He checked his email and social media while she placed the order. He had a dozen emails from his professors with all of the assignments he was missing. It would take him forever to catch up, and he was kicking himself in the ass for not bringing his books with him. He was sure his father would have something to say about it, too.
She joined him on the couch. “It should be here in half an hour or so.”
Setting his phone on the coffee table, he draped his arm around her shoulders and tucked her against his side. She sighed and scooted down so she could put her head on his chest and her arm across his stomach.
“In case I haven’t said it, or I forget to say it… Thank you.” Her voice cracked. “I couldn’t imagine being here alone right now.”
He dragged his fingers up her back, then down again as he pressed his lips to the top of her head, her fruity shampoo assaulting his nostrils in the best way imaginable. “You’re not alone, Ky,” he whispered. And she never would be if he had his way.
She pinched his shirt between her fingers, then released it, repeating the motion a few times before sliding her palm across his stomach and up his chest. “Earlier, when we’d left the funeral, you were going to ask me something. What was it?”
He closed his eyes and let his head fall back against the couch. Part of him had hoped she’d forgotten about that. “It was nothing.”
“Tell me.”
“Now’s really not the time. Trust me.”
She tilted her head back and gazed up at him, her eyes big and full of longing. Shit. He was so fucked. That innocent, wide-eyed, pleading look was his kryptonite.
“Now’s not the time? But earlier was?”
He shook his head. “I shouldn’t have brought it up then, either.” In fact, he couldn’t come up with a single reason why he’d even opened his mouth.
“C’mon, just tell me.” She eased her hand up under his shirt, her fingers trailing over his bare skin.
His stomach hollowed, punching the air from his lungs. He swallowed hard and then sucked in a sharp breath.
“Please?” she whispered.
Between the way she was looking at him and the feel of her hands on his body, there was no denying her. She had him pinned in place, unable to move or think—or remember why this whole situation was a bad idea. Each brush of her fingers across his belly button, each tease of her hand moving lower had his cock instantly hard and throbbing. He could lay her down on the couch, remove her clothes, kiss every beautiful inch of her body, and then take the one thing she’d never given to anyone else. He could see it so clearly in his mind, the way she’d arch into him, look at him, the way her face would contort with pleasure. He could feel every touch and kiss, hear every moan and cry for more. God, it would be so easy. So satisfying.
And so goddamned wrong.
Virginity aside, she was grieving the loss of her grandmother, and he was sitting there thinking about fucking her. What the hell was wrong with him? He removed her hand from under his shirt and slid to the other end of the couch. She sat up, blinking at him like she couldn’t believe what he’d just done. He couldn’t believe it, either.
“Did I do something wrong?” she asked.
He rested his arms on his parted legs and hung his head. “No, you didn’t do anything wrong.” He met her gaze. “Just the opposite, actually.”
“Then why did you push me away like I have some horrendous disease?” She curled up in the corner of the couch and crossed her arms.
Thankfully, a loud knock saved him from having to answer that. He stood and went to the door. After paying for the food and adding a generous tip, he carried their meals into the kitchen and set them on the counter. Then he returned to the living room and sat on the coffee table, facing Kylie. As much as he didn’t want to answer her question or tell her what had been on his mind earlier, he couldn’t leave things as they were.
“I promise you didn’t do anything wrong, okay? I liked the way you touched me. A lot.” He had the blue balls to prove it, too.
She huffed as if she didn’t believe him.
“I’ve got a lot on my mind. So do you. And I’m just not in a place to—”
“Are you kidding me right now?” Frustration laced her words. She moved to the edge of the couch so they were knee to knee. “Are you seriously sitting there giving me the, ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ crap?” Her eyes were as fiery as her tone.
He started to shake his head, but he quickly froze when she spoke again.
“You realize we’re not actually together, right? You’ve made sure of that.”
He flinched at the hurt and confusion in her tone. The last thing he wanted was to upset her any more than she already was.
“So, this attempt to break up with me, or whatever the hell you’re doing right now, doesn’t make any sense.” She stood. “If you don’t want me that way, just say so,” she mumbled.
“Ky, you don’t—”
“Don’t.” She held up her hand to silence him. “Please. I can’t handle hearing why this is such a bad idea.” Her bottom lip trembled, and his heart clenched. Stepping over his foot, she marched into the kitchen.
He sat there, stunned. He’d been ready to tell her that he wanted her but didn’t want to take advantage of her while she was grieving and vulnerable. Why was doing the right thing so fucking hard? She slammed a cabinet door, and he cringed. Well, so much for making things better. Rubbing his hands over his face, he hesitantly walked into the kitchen. She was sitting at the table, food in front of her, along with a glass of ice water. There was a second glass in front of an empty chair. He sat and opened his takeout container.
“Can we talk about this?” he asked after several moments of silence.
“No.”
He sighed and picked at his food, his appetite dwindling with each second that passed. He glanced up at Kylie, but she kept her head down, refusing to acknowledge him.
Abruptly, she stood and put the remainder of her food in the fridge. “I’m going to bed. I’ll see you in the morning.” And then she left the room.
Xander pushed his food away as her footsteps disappeared up the stairs. He couldn’t keep doing this to her. It wasn’t fair. He’d accepted the fact she was a virgin, but could he take the chance that she wouldn’t end up regretting something they did together? He rubbed his stomach in a pathetic attempt to loosen the knot tha
t had formed.
His phone rang, and he reached for his pocket only to remember he’d left it in the living room. He retrieved it and cracked a smile at the name on the screen. “What’s up, Finn?”
“Not me. Yet.” He laughed. “How about you? You pop that cherry?”
“Dude, don’t be a dick.”
“I take it that’s a no.” Finn sighed, and there was a much too long pause before he said, “She’s not Trisha, you know.”
“I know,” he said on a heavy sigh.
“Then what’s the problem? You’re batshit fucking crazy for this girl.”
Xander clenched his teeth. Finn was the least observant person he had ever known, but if Finn could see his true feelings, then surely Kylie could, too.
“It’s not that simple.” Xander went out onto the front porch, needing some fresh air and privacy. Finn couldn’t understand the fear and the doubt, or what was at stake if things with Kylie went bad.
“Have you tried talking to her?”
“She just buried the woman who raised her. Not really the best time to be talking about sex.”
“That’s true, I suppose, but you have to try.”
“Did you call to give me dating advice?” Xander lowered himself to sit on the top step.
“No. Brad’s up to something. He’s been asking around about you. Really weird shit, too. Like how we feel about your position in RAT, and if we feel you contribute to the house.”
“Shit.” He rubbed his forehead. “He’s trying to build a case to get me out, isn’t he?” He knew he was on thin ice, and missing classes wasn’t helping his situation, but for Brad to take the opportunity to turn the house against him? That was fucking low.
“Seems like it. He’s expecting you to fuck up with your grades, so I don’t know why he’s doing this.”
“He’s covering his ass. When I don’t flunk, he won’t have a reason to get rid of me, so he’s trying to find one.”
“I’m sorry, man. I’m trying to cover your ass here.”
“I know, and I appreciate it.”