They both shook their heads, and the movement was so well-timed that you could suddenly see how identical they almost were.
Wicked spoke for them. “Anita’s will, her intent, is what we need.” He stared at me. “What is your will, Anita?”
“To have him free of me.”
“Would you undo the blood oath and cast him back to Belle Morte?” Wicked asked.
Requiem clutched at my hand. “Please, mistress, not that.”
I patted his shoulder. “No, Requiem, you’re not going back to Belle. We would never let that happen.” He calmed almost instantly, and he shouldn’t have. That much panic shouldn’t have just vanished. It was just another sign of how far gone he was.
“Be careful with your words,” said Truth, “for they are dangerous things.”
I thought before I spoke the next time. “I want him to have choices. I don’t want all his free will sucked away like this.”
“Why?” Wicked asked. “Why is bespelling him so terrible to you?”
I looked into Requiem’s face where he sat beside me. He gave me a look of absolute adoration. My stomach clenched tight. The thought of anyone being bound to anyone else like that was wrong; that I’d done it by accident made me vaguely nauseous.
“I like Requiem. He’s a good guy, especially for a vampire. I don’t want him like this, some sort of slave, it’s just creepy.”
“Is he better off dead?” Wicked asked.
“No,” I said, quickly, “no.”
“Then what would you have us do?” Truth asked.
Requiem said, “Do I not please you?”
I grabbed his good shoulder and said, “I know you’re in there, Requiem. Come back to us. Hear me, Requiem, hear my voice, and break free of this.”
“I don’t wish to be free,” he said, simply.
I pulled away from him, and he tried to hold on. I actually slapped his hands away from me. He looked so hurt.
“Please, Anita, how have I displeased you so? I will do anything. Anything that you ask, if you will only feed the ardeur from me.”
“Anything,” I said.
“Anything, you have but to speak it, and I will do it.”
“Break free of this,” I said.
“I do not understand,” he said, and he looked as puzzled as his words.
“That’s what I want, Requiem. I want you to break free of what I’ve done to you.” The moment I said it, I knew it was true, that was what I wanted. “You’re a master vampire. You could be a Master of the City, if you were a little more ambitious. You can fight this.” I searched his face, to see if he understood what I was saying. “Come back to yourself, or I won’t feed the ardeur on you.”
“Anita, I…I don’t…”
“You said you’d do anything I asked. This is an anything, and it’s what I want you to do.”
“You may be asking something he cannot do,” Wicked said.
“I’ve felt his own version of the ardeur. Or whatever you call the other gifts of Belle’s line that aren’t exactly ardeur. He is powerful.” I looked into his face and tried to show him how much I knew he could do this. “I want to see Requiem staring at me out of these eyes, not some besotted fool. Be the strong man I know you can be. Fight free of this, enough to talk to me. I won’t touch you, ever again, unless you can give consent.” He looked so stricken, so wounded, that I went up on my knees and cradled his face between my hands. “You told me once that you considered your power rape, because it affected only the body and not the mind. Do you remember saying that, Requiem?”
He frowned, but finally whispered, “Yes.”
“If I take you like this, it’s rape, and I won’t do it.”
I watched the emotions struggle across his face. “Anita…I do not know how to break these soft chains. Once love was strong enough to break them, but without love, let me be covered in your silken chains. Tie me down, and let me drown in your sweet flesh.” He moved in for a kiss as he said the last, and I had to pull back. I slid off the bed, away from him. I wanted to run screaming with frustration. I had not meant to do this. Fuck.
“If another master had bespelled Requiem, what would you do, ma petite?” Jean-Claude said.
I thought about it, frowning. “I would try to break the spell. I would use my necromancy and try to break the spell.”
“Exactement.”
“But, I did it. I can’t break my own spell, can I?”
“Why can you not?”
I thought about it again. “Because…well.”
“It is not your necromancy that has bespelled him, ma petite, but your power through the vampire marks, through me. Use your necromancy to free him, as you used your ties to the wolf to free you from Marmee Noir.”
It made sense, but…“I don’t know.”
He spoke softly in my head. “You broke Willie McCoy free of the Traveller when he had possessed Willie’s body. You used your necromancy to drive him out.”
Willie was one of our least powerful vampires. He was manager at the Laughing Corpse, our comedy club. The Traveller was one of the vampire council. He had come to town in “person,” except that he traveled by jumping from body to body. He could use any vampire body that wasn’t strong enough to keep him out. He had possessed Willie, and tried to use him to hurt me. I had used my blood and my tie to Willie to find him in the dark where the Traveller had hidden him. Find him and bring him back to himself.
I thought carefully, because I was still not that good at the mind-to-mind thing, “I’d accidentally raised Willie from his coffin during the day once. I already had a tie to him that I don’t have to Requiem.”
He whispered through my mind, “Through the ardeur you have a bond to him that you did not have with Willie.”
“How can I use necromancy to break him free of the ardeur, if I’m counting on the ardeur to be his bond to me. That doesn’t make any sense.”
“Perhaps the logic is a bit circular, but what do you have to lose, ma petite?” He spoke aloud, finally. “Look at him.”
I pressed as much of me against as much of Jean-Claude as I could, then turned and looked at Requiem. He watched us like a man who was dying of thirst, and was only inches away from a cool, soothing pool, but there was a glass wall between him and it. I finally realized something. “It’s not just the ardeur he’s craving. It’s the blood. He’s hurt and he needs blood.”
Jean-Claude ran his hands up and down my back in soothing motions. “Oui, but the ardeur overrides the other thirst.”
“I thought that wasn’t possible,” I said.
“I have seen it with Belle. I have seen her give ardeur to vampires while they neglected their blood hunger, to the point where, one night, they did not rise from their coffins.”
“She did it on purpose,” I said.
“She wished to see if the ardeur alone was enough to sustain other vampires. She had hoped to travel with us across Europe, but the marks of blood taking give us away. The ardeur leaves no trace.”
I stared at Requiem. “Nothing physical.”
“Oui, there are signs, but nothing the authorities would have recognized. Nothing that would have given away her plan.”
“But it didn’t work,” I said.
“She could share her ardeur with others, so they could feed upon it. She could sustain herself with it for long periods, as can I, but unless the ardeur is truly your gift to own, then it does not work.”
“The Traveller…” He stopped me with a hand on my mouth.
He spoke in my head, again, “Quietly, ma petite.”
I thought, “You said, no mind-to-mind, that some of the other vamp masters might overhear us.”
“They are still dead to the world, but the people in this room can hear us.”
“You don’t trust them?”
“I would not like to have it well known that you were able to force a member of the council to do anything.”
He had a point. I thought, slowly, carefully, “The Travell
er was taking blood from me when I called Willie. I called him with the blood.”
“Then feed our Requiem.”
I wasn’t sure that was a good idea. “He’s fed from me once; what if drinking my blood is part of the problem? Asher thinks that any vampire who feeds from me is drawn to me.”
“You are very tasty, ma petite.”
“It’s not just that. It’s something more.”
“We want our vampires bound to us, ma petite, that is why we blood-oath them. We simply do not wish them bound to this level of slavishness.”
I was close enough in his head to feel that he believed that. He did not like to see Requiem this bespelled. “You’re almost as creeped out by this as I am, why? This strengthens our power base, right?”
“Perhaps, but I did not invite Requiem, or anyone, into my lands so I could enslave them. I wanted to give them shelter, not chains.”
“Auggie said you were too sentimental for your own good sometimes.”
Out loud he said, “Perhaps, but you have taught me that sentiment is not always a bad thing.”
I stared up at that impossibly beautiful face, and felt love swell up inside me like a physical force. It filled my body, swelling upward until it made my chest ache, my throat tighten, and my eyes burn. It sounded so stupid. But I loved him. Loved all of him, but loved him more because loving me had made him better. That he would say that I had taught him about being sentimental made me want to cry. Richard reminded me at every turn that I was bloodthirsty and cold. If that were true, then I couldn’t have taught Jean-Claude about sentimentality. You can’t learn, if you don’t have it to teach.
He kissed me. He kissed me softly, with one hand lost in the hair to the side of my face. He drew back and whispered, “I never thought to see that look upon your face, not for me.”
“I love you,” I said, and touched his hand where it lay against my face.
“I know that, but there are different kinds of love, ma petite, they are equally real, but…” He smiled, and said, “Such soft tenderness I thought you had reserved for others.”
“What others?” I asked, because I couldn’t leave it alone.
He gave me a chiding look, as if I knew the answer to the question, and I guess I did. I knew Richard was almost desperately jealous of Micah and Nathaniel, but for the first time I realized Jean-Claude was jealous, too. And jealousy always hurts. I was sorry I ever made him doubt how much I loved him. He would never hold my hand in a delivery room, or vacuum a floor, but within the parameters of his life, I could ask anything of him.
“I don’t mean to interrupt this little lovefest,” London said, in a tone of voice that said clearly he did want to interrupt, and maybe be cruel on top of it, “but could you try to free Requiem? Or did you not mean to free him, and it was all just talk?”
“London,” Elinore said, with a warning in that single word.
“I am allowed my cynicism, Elinore. I have been disappointed too many times in too many different masters.”
“Haven’t we all,” Wicked said.
Truth just nodded.
I frowned at all of them, and suddenly even cuddling with Jean-Claude wasn’t quite as comforting. “Thanks guys, no performance anxiety here.”
“We do not mean to make things more difficult for you,” Truth said, “but like most vampires who have not spent their entire existence with one master, we have been ridden hard, and cruelly, by those who were supposed to take care of us.”
“The idea of the feudal system is that the people at the top take care of the needs of those on the bottom, but I have seldom seen it work that way,” Wicked said.
“Yeah,” I said, “it’s like trickle-down economics; it only works if the people at the top are really good, decent people. The system is only as good as the people in power.”
The brothers nodded, as if I’d said a wise thing. Maybe I had.
I laid a kiss on Jean-Claude’s bare chest, caressing the slicker skin of the cross-shaped burn mark. I drew away from him and went for the bed. I prayed as I walked toward Requiem. “Let him be free, but don’t let me hurt him.”
27
I TOLD REQUIEM to lie down on the bed, and he did, without hesitation. Elinore was right. He was like a human hit by a vampire’s gaze. I knelt beside him, the robe tucked up under my knees, tied close around my waist. I stared down at him and wondered if there was anything I could ask him to do that he would refuse. Was there really no limit to it? I’d seen humans rolled by vampires who had turned on their friends in the blink of an eye, and tried to kill people they loved. Would Requiem have killed for me? For no reason than that I asked it of him? I wanted to know, and I didn’t.
I looked at Jean-Claude. “Is this just about sex, or would he do anything I asked, like a human rolled by a vamp?”
“I do not know, ma petite.”
“If you never plan to do this on purpose, what does it matter?” London asked, and he let me hear all the distrust in those words. I didn’t really blame him.
“I wouldn’t do it to any of our people on purpose, but sometimes I’m on my own in a nest of vamps that I’m supposed to kill. They get testy about stuff like that. I’m just wondering if I could raise the ardeur as a weapon? Is there a way to make it an asset instead of a disaster?”
London frowned at me, but said, “I don’t believe you, Anita.”
“London,” Elinore said, “never use that tone again with her.”
“I’ve seen what the ardeur can do, Elinore. You haven’t, not really.” His face tightened in lines of anger so raw it almost hurt to see it. “I’ve seen my face look like Requiem’s. I remember what it feels like.” His hands gripped the bedpost until the skin changed color, just a bit. The mottling would be more after he fed. The wood creaked in protest, and he dropped his hands. “Part of me still wants to feel like that. It’s like being on a drug all the time. Being pleasantly high, pleasantly happy. It may not be real happiness, but it’s hard to tell the difference when you’re in the middle of it.” He hugged himself tight. “The world is a colder, darker place without it. But with it, you’re a slave. A slave to someone who makes you do things…” He shook his head, so hard it looked dizzying.
“Maybe London should go before I start this,” I said.
“No,” he said, “no, if I can’t bear to watch you feed the ardeur on someone else, then I need to find a new master, and a new city. If I can’t bear this, then I need to go somewhere where no one carries the ardeur.”
“Jean-Claude is your master, London; you will need his permission to leave,” Elinore said.
“We have already discussed it,” Jean-Claude said.
“When?” I asked.
“He is an addict, ma petite, an addict to the ardeur. I saved him from Belle Morte, who would have addicted him again, but London and I discussed that even your ardeur, and mine, might be too much for him. If it is”—he gave that graceful shrug—“I will find him some place far away from such temptations, but it will take time to find a home for someone as potentially powerful as London. Especially someone with his bloodline, and male. If he were female, there is a waiting list.”
“But not for men,” I said.
“Non, ma petite, the female masters seem convinced they would become bespelled by males of our bloodline. The male masters seem convinced they could master the women of our line.”
“Well, isn’t that just typical,” I said. I looked back at London. “If this gets to be too much for you, promise me you’ll leave.”
“Why do you care?”
I raised a hand before Elinore could chastise him again. “Because I’m going to have enough trouble freeing Requiem’s mind; I don’t want to have to do it twice today.”
He nodded. “I swear to you that I will leave, if I feel it is too much.” The look on his face was very solemn, with none of that dark defiance, or anger.
I took a deep breath and turned back to the man on the bed. He gave me peaceful, eager eyes. It was a
s if the lamb wanted you to slit its throat.
I moved up beside him, so I could touch the unbruised side of his face. I cupped his face and he leaned into that touch, eyes closing for a moment as if that one innocent touch was almost too much to bear.
I called to him. “Requiem, Requiem, come back to me.”
He laid his hand against mine, pressing me tighter against his face. “I am right here, Anita, right here.”
I shook my head, because this wasn’t him. It was his body, but whatever made Requiem who he was, that wasn’t in his eyes. It was a stranger’s face. What makes people people is not just bone structure and eye color, but the force of their personalities. The years of experience painted on their faces. Them, for lack of a better word. Them.
“Oh, Requiem, come back to us.”
He gazed up at me, so puzzled. He didn’t understand that he was lost.
I closed my own eyes, so I could concentrate and not have to see his eyes, so trusting and empty. My necromancy was unlike any other power I had. Maybe because it was mine. Whatever the reason, I didn’t have to decide to use my necromancy, I just had to stop fighting it. Stop blocking the power. Blocking my necromancy was like making a fist, tight-clenched, squeezing, squeezing, so hard, so the power didn’t get away from me. I spread that metaphorical fist wide, let go all that effort and the necromancy just was. Before, with Auggie, there had been so much happening, so many different powers, that it had distracted me, but now there was nothing but the necromancy. It felt so good to finally let go. So amazingly good.
I opened my eyes and stared down at Requiem. “Come to me,” I said, “come to me.” He rose up, off the bed, arms reaching for me. I put a finger on his chest, and said, “Requiem, stop.” He stopped instantly. As if he were some sort of toy; hit one switch and he goes, another and he turns off. Sweet Mary, Mother of God, this was so wrong.
“Ma petite, ma petite, have a care.”
I turned and glanced at Jean-Claude. “I’m a little busy here,” I said, and couldn’t keep the impatience out of my voice.
“I would be more specific with your calls, if I were you. You told only Requiem to stop. The others are still compelled.” He motioned at the other vampires. London had a death grip on the bedpost. He looked panicked. Wicked and Truth were fighting at the edge of the bed. Truth wanted to get on, and Wicked was holding his brother back. Truth looked scared, and Wicked looked angry.
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