by BK Harrell
Sarah took Marcie’s hand to give her support. “We’ll be here with you every step of the way. We don’t want you to be stressed this week. Nicole and I scheduled you a massage and facial on Thursday afternoon. We want you as relaxed as you can be. Even though I have clinic through Wednesday, I’ll make sure I’m with you guys for your appointments. Erin is supposed to be there as well. She wanted to come today, but the girls are sick and didn’t want to risk spreading any germs to you.”
Marcie smiled. “I appreciate everything you gals are doing. I wouldn’t have been able to accomplish all of this without you. Thank you for your help.”
“You’re welcome,” Sarah and Nicole said together.
“I’ve definitely enjoyed planning your wedding more than mine. You remember when Lincoln sent you to save me from killing that wedding planner? We pulled it off. Looks like our next wedding to plan will be Sarah and Harrison’s. I can’t wait for that one. By the way, apparently, you didn’t get a say in this, but are you okay with the whole walking through the bat arch the players have planned for you guys?”
“I’m fine with it. Don’t want to break tradition and the guys have been great about it. Well, lunch was good, but we better go so we don’t miss our appointment.”
The girls went to the dress shop, and thankfully, no last-minute alterations were needed. The owner swore she would have everything delivered to the hotel on Friday.
Sarah hugged both women as they finished their appointment and walked out to her car. She had just enough time to make it to Harry’s practice and then cook dinner for the family. She still felt bad about not spending anytime with Harry and her mom this past weekend, but it was something that she needed. As she drove to the field, she called Coop to talk to him. She had missed him, but wanted to make sure that he wasn’t going to show up to do a clinic at the baseball field. Thankfully, he was finishing his work out and was going to dinner at Rhett’s house. Though she missed him, she was glad he was taking time with his best-friend.
By the time Sarah pulled into the parking lot practice was underway. She walked over and sat down beside her mother and hugged her. She looked up to see Harry send her a wave, and she waved back.
“So, how was your weekend? We didn’t get much of a chance to talk yesterday.”
“It was great. The bachelorette party was wonderful, Harrison’s welcome home was better than expected after I managed to embarrass myself with his mother, which led to us having lunch at his parent’s house Sunday afternoon. Other than the initial reception I got from his siblings, everything went well. Then I slept like shit last night thinking about all the lies I’ve been telling and the impact they’ll have on the future. Overall, same old same old in the life of Sarah. How was your weekend? Anything new with Harry I need to know about?”
“Everything was wonderful. He missed you but understood you had adult things you needed to take care of. He is looking forward to next weekend when he has you all to himself. I told him we would go to the Georgia Aquarium this Saturday and a movie probably Friday night. He’s glad that he has a break from games until the new season starts. I looked into the dance lessons we spoke about, and he’ll start after the New Year.”
“Thanks, mom. I couldn’t do it without you.”
“Sure, you could. You just wouldn’t get any sleep and this thing with Harrison would be much more difficult to work through.”
“You mean more difficult than it already is?”
“I never told you it’d be easy. Enough about your love life. What did you decide what to do about Harry’s Christmas present?”
“He’ll get it early. At least his big one. I talked to the company last week and they’re going to pour the concrete pad and put up the post. After that, the other company is going to put up the netting and deliver the pitching machine. They will also build a small shed and run the power from the house to the batting cage. In the long run, it saves me gas and trips, plus Harry can practice whenever he wants.”
“I know he’ll love it. Are you still going to get him a new Playstation and TV?”
“Yes. Then whatever you want to get him along with some other small things.”
Sarah turned her attention back to the practice, watching as Harry hammered ball after ball over the fence. She watched his swing and noted some of the improvements since their return and smiled. He was becoming more like his dad every day. If she was being honest, she couldn’t think of a better person to be like than Coop. He was a great man all around. She was the one who screwed up. Sarah continued to watch as they finally finished practice. She was definitely going to miss seeing him play when he was traveling, but it was the next logical step in his development. It was fun to see the difference between his regular team, where he was the best, to seeing him play with the best in the league. He was still the best, but the difference in the talent level wasn’t as discernable.
“Did you see those homeruns, mom” Harry said as he ran to where they were sitting.
“You did wonderfully. Those tips are starting to pay off. I have a surprise for you. You’re getting one of your Christmas presents early because there was no way to wrap it up under the tree. I got you a batting cage for the house. They are coming next week to start work on it.”
“You’re the best, mom,” Harry said as he threw his arms around her.
“I’m glad you’re excited. Anything else you want for Christmas? What did you tell Santa that you wanted?”
“You know, a new Playstation, some games, a new bat, and to meet my dad.”
Sarah’s breath caught in her throat. “You know, Santa has limitations on what he can do. He might not be able to make all your wishes come true.”
“I know, mom, but a kid can hope right.”
“Right.”
Sarah ruffled his hair and led him to the car. “I’m making cube steak and mac and cheese for dinner, and not the box kind. I hope that’s okay.”
“Sounds great, you always know what to fix.”
As Sarah drove home, she pondered the requests of her son. How could she make it seem like Santa had answered his requests without doing what she had to do ahead of schedule. Then suddenly, the idea hit her like a bolt of lightning, she could ask Marcie to help her out and write a letter from Santa since she did such a great job with calligraphy. Then she could include a letter that said not to open until his mom told him to. That way he got the letter from Santa and he would still get what he asked for. Problem solved.
Sarah arrived at home and sent Harry to finish his homework while she cooked dinner. It wasn’t something she got to do often with work, but she wanted to take advantage of it as much as possible since she would be busy this weekend as well.
Dinner turned out great and everyone had their fill. Surprisingly, there were no leftovers. After cleaning up and putting Harry to bed, she finally headed to her room to talk to Coop and Marcie. She sat down and called Marcie first.
“Hey, Marcie. How’s everything going tonight?”
“Fine. Just trying to fend Cole off. We agreed no sex this week, but he’s being persistent.” Marcie laughed. “What can I do for you?”
“I need some help with a project.” She explained her dilemma to Marcie who readily agreed to help.
“I’ll take care of it tomorrow morning and bring it to you at the meeting. Can you text me what you want the letter to say other than he’ll open when I tell him to?”
“Sure. Thanks for your help. You have a good night. Just remember you can always claim a visit from Aunt Flow to ward him off.”
Marcie laughed again. “Most men that would scare away, but you know these doctor types. Nothing scares them, at least not that subject.”
Sarah sat down and texted Marcie the body of the letter that she wanted to give to Harry. After hitting send she texted Coop to see if he was home yet. Instead of a reply she heard her phone ring.
“Hey babe. How was your day?”
“Good. A light patient load but wedding stuff al
l afternoon. How was your visit with Rhett?”
“Good. Worked out hard today, then admired the baby for a while, but she slept most of the time. I like the smell of a baby, except when they need to be changed, but there is something about a baby that’s soothing.”
Tears pricked Sarah’s eyes as she thought of Harrison holding Harry and what he would have looked like. She didn’t know how long she could talk tonight without the tears falling.
“Baby. You there? I lost you.”
Sarah regained her composure before answering. “Sorry, I was just thinking about you holding a baby. It was making me smile.”
“You know what makes me smile?”
“What?”
“The thought of possibly holding our baby one day.”
Sarah couldn’t handle anymore. “Shit, sorry Coop, but Marcie is calling about the wedding. I need to talk to her. It could be a while so I’ll call you tomorrow. Love you.”
“Okay. Love you too. Have a good day tomorrow.”
“You too. Good night.”
Sarah held on long enough to hang up the phone before she broke down crying. Her mother must have been walking by the door when it happened because she was in their instantly.
“What’s wrong baby girl?” Her mom asked as she sat down beside her and pulled her into a hug.”
Sarah was unable to answer, and just sat there crying on her mom’s shoulder. She finally cried herself out as her mom handed her a tissue, and blew her nose before relaying her conversation with Harrison.
“I’m such an awful person, mom. I’ve totally deprived Harrison of a chance to watch his son grow up, and I’ve deprived Harry of his father. I know now that he didn’t do anything wrong. I can feel it deep in my heart. I was such a stupid twit for not talking to him.”
“Oh, baby. I know you feel that way now, but back then you were so young and so scared. I’m never going to tell you that you made the wrong decision, but you have to make peace with the decision you made and move forward.”
“I’m trying, mom, but it’s so hard. I love him so much, and I know I’ve hurt him deeply and he hasn’t even seen the depth of the hurt I inflicted yet.”
“You may not believe me, but he’ll forgive you. It may not be instantly, but that man is not going to miss spending any more time with his family, than he already has.”
“I’m scared that he’ll want to spend time with Harry, and not with both of us.”
“He may at first. You may only be a conduit to get Harry from point A to point B. He may ask that I take him, but you can’t stop fighting for him.”
“I won’t. I made that mistake once, and I won’t do it again.”
Sarah’s mother hugged her tight and left her to think about what she needed to do. She really wanted to call Coop back, she just didn’t know if she could do it without breaking down again. She decided to try and sleep, but sleep was difficult to come by. When the sun rose, Sarah awoke from a fitful sleep not feeling rested at all. She had to stop having nights like this before the wedding. She didn’t want to look like shit for the pictures. Rolling out of bed, Sarah got ready and gulped down two quick cups of coffee before leaving for work. Her team had been on call last night, so they would be chomping at the bit to get out of there. Since no one had called her last night, she assumed that none of her patients had come in.
Rounds went quickly and easily. Her team only had two discharges to take care of before they could leave. Sarah thought that she was very fortunate, to be surrounded by such competent young doctors. As Sarah rounded the corner she literally ran into Elisha, causing her to spill her coffee over both of them.
“Shit, Sarah, I mean Dr. Buckley. I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be, it was my fault. My mind is anywhere but here. Let’s go grab some new scrubs and coffee.”
“What has your mind so discombobulated today?”
“Harrison and Harry, and just… fuck my life. I was wrong about everything. I’m sure of it.”
“You can’t change what’s going to happen. You told me you were going to fight, so fight. Fight for yourself, fight for Harry, and most importantly fight for Harrison.”
“He told me he loved me.”
“What did you say?”
“I told him I love him, but there would come a time when he probably wouldn’t love me. He just laughed at that, and assured me that would never happen.”
“Then don’t let it. I know y’all have this huge thing between you, but I can see that you love each other. Time will heal old wounds, as my grammy would say, but if you run away then they can only fester.”
“You’re right. I know what I have to do, but it won’t be easy.”
“Nope. It won’t be easy. Is he going to be your date this weekend?”
“Yes. I just hope I don’t end up on page six of the newspaper.”
Elisha laughed as Sarah filled her in on the story of Lincoln and Nicole’s first date.
Sarah left the lounge with a fresh coffee and a better outlook on her day. She saw her morning patients and finished off with the Akers. The baby was growing nicely and had put on five pounds since she was born. Sarah thought about how this baby was going to be a female version of Rhett.
After seeing her last patient, Sarah quickly finished her notes and headed to lunch with the girls and then their afternoon meetings.
Lunch at the Cheesecake Factory was wonderful as always. They had a great conversation and true to her word, Marcie brought the letter they had discussed the previous evening. Marcie hugged her tight and hoped that it would be enough for Harry.
Marcie smiled as she looked at Sarah, Nicole, and Erin. “As a thank you and in preparation for the wedding, I have our favorite manicurist coming to do our nails at the hotel Saturday morning and their makeup girl coming as well. Anton from the salon will also be there for our hair.”
The girls all thanked Marcie profusely and headed out to the afternoon appointment.
As they finished their meeting at Christ the King Catholic Church, Sarah did something she hadn’t done in a long time. She walked away from the group and headed into the rectory. She made her way to the confessional booth and slid inside. The window slid open and Sarah took a deep breath before she began.
“Forgive me father for I have sinned. It has been eight years seven months since my last confession.”
“Go on my child.”
“I have lied repeatedly over the last ten years, and more lately to protect my family. I have had lustful thoughts and have acted on them.”
“Why did you feel the need to do these things?”
“I’m trying to protect my son. He doesn’t know who his father is because of me, and now he wants to know who it is. I’ve been trying to make things right with his father before I tell his father that he has a son. My son is nine years old almost ten, and I think he needs to know his father.”
“Why doesn’t he know his father?”
“My choice. I thought his father cheated on me before I found out I was pregnant and then never gave him a chance to explain, and never told him about my pregnancy.”
“I take it that this also covers your bout of lust?”
“Yes, Father, but it is more than that. We both still love each other, but I’m so scared that he will hate me when he finds out what I’ve done.”
“Child, unburden yourself to the Lord and you will feel better. It is hard on your heart to keep all this inside. Say ten Hail Mary’s and light five candles. God loves you and will forgive you. You just have to ask for it and forgive yourself.”
“Thank you, Father.” Sarah left the confessional and went to light the candles. As she was on her knees, she lit the candles and said a prayer asking for forgiveness and guidance in how to handle her son and Coop. Sarah walked out of the church feeling lighter in her heart than she had in a while. She felt like God was helping to share her burden. Sarah drove home ready to face Coop and anything he threw at her. She just had to remember that she couldn’t ke
ep everything inside of her and expect it to go away. Just as she was turning into her subdivision her mom called.
“Hey, mom. What’s up?”
“I don’t know. You tell me. There’s a gentleman here with a package for you and a limousine waiting outside.”
“I have no idea, but I’ll be there in two minutes or less, so I guess we’ll find out together.”
Sarah pulled into the driveway and sure enough a limousine was sitting out in front of her house. She walked up to the door and was greeted by a man who handed her a package and a note. She signed for the package and read the note.
Dear Sarah,
I’ve missed you this week. I sent this present for you. Please wear it tonight and join me for dinner. Harold will drive you to meet me when you are ready. Please don’t keep him waiting for too long.
Love,
Coop
Sarah didn’t know what to think, but she couldn’t say no to Coop. She hurried upstairs and opened the box. She was shocked to see an emerald green Versace sheath dress in the box with matching Louboutin Heels. Sarah quickly stripped and dressed in the present she was sent. She hurried downstairs, starting to say bye to her mother when Harry gave her a cat call and told her she looked hot for a mom.
“Harry, manners. I’m sorry, but apparently, I have plans for dinner that I shouldn’t decline. I know we haven’t talked about me dating much, but I’ve been seeing someone and he wants to take me to dinner tonight. I promise you if it gets serious I’ll make sure you meet him, but I don’t want that to happen until I’m sure.”
“Okay, mom. I’m glad your dating some. I think it’s great for you. You don’t have to worry about me so much.”