by BK Harrell
Sarah had tears in her eyes and streaming down her face. She knew they had overcome that issue, but the next bomb she was about to drop would be the one to devastate Coop.
“Don’t cry, Sarah. I told you we fixed this. I love you and you love me what else is there?” Coop got up to walk around the table but Sarah motioned him to sit back down. He was really confused by this, but wanted to give her what she was asking for. “So, Sarah Buckley, MD, if that was the second biggest mistake of your life, what was the biggest?”
Sarah felt her palms start to sweat and her stomach knotted up. Sarah reached into her bag and brought out the photo album that she had meticulously wrapped up. Sarah cleared her throat and let out a mirthless laugh. “My biggest mistake was…this. You see Coop you’re wrong about one thing.” Sarah took a couple of deep breaths and looked at the anxious look on Coop’s face. “You see…you are a father. We have a son.”
Sarah watched as the color drained from Coop’s face and was quickly replaced by a fiery red that she knew was his angry face. She couldn’t stop the tears from flowing down her face and braced herself for the brunt of Coop’s anger, which she knew she deserved.
“What the fuck, Sarah.” Coop shouted. He didn’t care who heard them. “What the ever-loving fuck!” Coop got up and started pacing on his side of the table running his hands through his hair. “Ten fucking years. Ten God damn years, Sarah. You didn’t think I deserved to know. You didn’t think that he deserved to know his father? Wait, does he even know I’m his father?”
Sarah cried harder than she had in a long time. “I didn’t want to be with a cheater, and my stupidity and naivety kept me from telling you. I didn’t find out until several weeks after graduation. I had already screwed up your life enough, or you had screwed up my life. I didn’t know. I wanted to tell you, but with each passing day it got harder and harder.”
“How fucking hard could it be? You pick up the damn phone, you call me and go ‘hey Harrison, I know this is a bad time, but I’m pregnant.’ Not real fucking difficult. DOES. HE. KNOW. HE. IS. MY. SON?”
“No.” Sarah said meekly. “He’s never really asked until a couple of months ago. The first night we went out.”
“That would have been a good time to tell me. I’ve missed ten Christmases, ten birthdays, I’ve missed it all, Sarah. My parents have missed it all.” Coop said sinking down into the chair. His emotions were running all over the place. God, he hated thinking this, but what the hell he had to ask. “Does this have anything to do with my new contract? Want some money to pay for the kid?”
“You, arrogant ass. I haven’t needed your God damn money. For all I knew, you had a string of kids all over the place, and I didn’t want him exposed to that.”
“Fine, but why now? You haven’t needed me for the last ten years.”
“Because, I want Harry to have what I didn’t. I want him to have a dad, but only if you want him. Don’t fuck around with him and leave him wanting what he can’t have. I’m telling you, because I now know the man that you are, and you know the bitch that I am, because I kept it from you. Every day, I have to look at him and know what he’s missing. I look at him and all I see is you. You deserve to make the decision to be in his life or not.”
“Well thank you for letting ME make the fucking decision. Do you have any idea what you’ve done? What I’ve lost?”
“Yes. I…I told you it was the biggest mistake of my life, and I am trying to atone for it. I realize this is the end of us. I know you feel like you can’t trust me, ever again, but know this, I never stopped loving you or hating myself every day we were apart. Before you ask, yes, he’s yours. I’ve only been with three people. The other two long after he was born.”
“Fine, he’s mine. I love you, but you’re right I can’t trust you especially right now. I don’t even know what to do about this. You just drop a bomb on me like this and expect me to absorb it and give you an answer. Well, I can’t do that. What’s this?” Coop said pointing to the wrapped package.
“It’s a photo album of our son.”
“What’s his name, Sarah. I need to know his name.”
“Harrison Cooper Buckley. His birthday is January 29th. He looks just like you and plays baseball just like you.”
“He was the one at the training complex.”
Sarah just nodded her head. It was a statement more than a question and a little bit of realization. “Funny thing is I’ve tried to never lie to Harry. He’s never asked about you so I didn’t have to say anything. The first time I had to lie to him was a couple of months ago when I showed up to his baseball game and you were there giving a clinic. I had to sneak away because how could I explain my presence at a nine-year-old’s baseball game.”
Coop thought back to that day. He remembered the kids and watching the game. He thought the third baseman was incredible, but he didn’t look closely enough to see that the kid resembled him. Why would he. He didn’t have any kids. What a fucking joke that was.
Sarah sat quietly as Coop stared at her while he had his inner monologue. She wished that he would touch her or say something because this distance was killing her.
Coop silently picked up the package and slowly unwrapped it. He opened the cover to find a copy of the birth certificate with his name on it. He turned the page and was struck with a punch to his gut as he looked at pictures of Sarah pregnant. He would have given his entire baseball career to have been there with her. It was all he wanted. He turned the page to see a beautiful baby boy staring back at him. He felt tears start to form in his eyes, but he couldn’t get past the anger he was feeling. He closed the book and stood up. “Thank you for this. I’ll be in touch.” Coop said as he turned around and walked out of the conference room.
Once Harrison had left the room, Sarah lost it, sobs wracked her whole body to the point she shook. She didn’t know how long she was there but she felt feminine hands touch her shoulder and turned to find Marcie standing beside her. Sarah turned and wrapped her arms around Marcie and continued to cry even harder.
“He’s an ass.”
“He…he’s hurt. I did that to him. I hurt the best man I’ve ever known and I don’t know if I can fix it.” Sarah said between sobs. She looked up to see Lincoln and Cole standing in the room.
“Do you want us to trade him to San Diego? I’ll pay his salary if you want him gone. We love you that much.”
As hard as it was, Sarah smiled a little. “No, you may need to trade me though. It’s not his fault. It’s all me and my stupid insecurities.
“Nah, good doctors are a lot harder to find than baseball players. Marcie, take Sarah home and stay with her. I’ll call Nicole and have her meet you. I think you need some female bonding time.”
“Thanks, boss,” Marcie said as she smiled at Lincoln and Cole.
Marcie led Sarah to her car and drove them to Sarah’s house. Once inside, she sat Sarah on the couch and went to make her some tea, but came across a bottle of scotch instead and figured this was more appropriate. Walking back into the room carrying the bottle and three glasses, Marcie saw the Sarah she remembered from residency. She seemed so much smaller than she had this morning. Marcie sat down beside Sarah and poured three fingers of scotch for each of them. “Drink up, Sarah. It’s time to get drunk.”
Sarah took the glass from Marcie and drank half the glass in one gulp. After finishing one glass, she was ready for a refill and just as she poured another glass, Nicole walked into the house carrying another bottle of scotch and a box of cigars.
“Screw the wine, let’s get drunk and smoke cigars. Sarah, I’m sorry he acted like an asshat this morning, but I know a little bit about where he’s coming from. Come on. Let’s go outside and light up.
Coop was driving too fast up I-85 when he called his mother.
“Coop, what a nice surprise. What’s up?”
“Is dad at home with you?”
“Yes, he’s still on vacation.”
“Good, I need to see you.
I’ll be there in a little bit. I need to talk to you guys. Is anyone else there? It needs to be a conversation between us.”
“No one else is here. I’ll fix us some lunch.”
“Thanks.” Coop continued his drive and thankfully he didn’t get pulled over. He pulled into his parents’ driveway not knowing what to say. He grabbed the photo album and walked up to the front door, but before he could get there his mother had the door opened and a concerned look on her face.
Alice gave him a big hug and pulled him into the family room. “Sit, and talk. You seemed so upset on the phone, I was worried about you. I know you had your meeting with Sarah this morning and I’ve been worried sick about you and her.”
Coop watched as his dad came in and sat down in his recliner with a concerned look on his face. “Okay, son. We’re here for you, so why don’t you tell us what’s up.”
“I don’t even know how, or where to begin. I’m still trying to wrap my head around it myself. I guess I’ll just rip off the band-aid. I have a son and you’re grandparents again. Congratulations.”
Coop watched his parents’ faces show surprise. His mother was the first to speak.
“I’m sorry. I don’t think I heard you correctly. I thought I heard you say you have a son, and we’re grandparents again, but surely I just need to get hearing aids because that can’t be what you said.”
“No, mom. That’s exactly what I said.”
“How, when? I’m sorry I’m taken aback and surprised.”
“You and me both,” Coop said as he picked up the album and handed it to his mom. “His name is Harrison Cooper Buckley. He’s nine-years-old and his birthday is January 29th. Apparently, he’s a baseball prodigy like me.”
Coop watched as his mom turned the pages and her fingers went to her mouth to try and hide the gasps, but the tears gave it away.
“Why would she keep you away from him?”
“Apparently, a cleat-chasing skank named Tracey told her I was her baby’s daddy. She was already a scared rabbit. She thought the worst, and didn’t want her child to be around a serial cheater with a string of kids around. She didn’t know she was pregnant until a few weeks after graduation, and didn’t know how to tell me.”
“What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know. It’s just a lot to absorb. I mean you and dad had nine months and three times to get used to the idea, and now I’m hit with it and no time to get used to it and suddenly I have an almost ten-year-old. I’ve never thought about being a father, well that’s not true. I thought about having children with Sarah.”
“Not to be crass, but isn’t that what you’ve done? Sure, you’re skipping the morning sickness, third trimester, delivery, diaper changing, and the terrible twos, but that doesn’t make you any less of his father, Harrison. Christ, this boy looks just like you at that age,” his dad said. “You may not think that you’re ready, but honestly, Harrison, you’re never truly ready. If everyone waited until they were ready, they’d be over forty with great jobs and a big nest egg, but it doesn’t happen that way. You need to get your head on straight and do what’s right by that child.”
Alice spoke up and said, “I know you’re having trouble trusting Sarah right now, and that’s natural, but your relationship with him doesn’t have to revolve around Sarah. Maybe you just need to get away for a little bit and think things through, but don’t take too long. Your son deserves to have a father, and you deserve to have that beautiful smile in your life,” Alice said as she pointed at the picture. “Dammit, I want another grandchild. He deserves another set of grandparents to spoil him rotten.”
Coop looked at the tears in his mother’s eyes. He wanted to give her what she wanted. “You’re right about not trusting Sarah. I want to believe that she didn’t do what she did out of malice, and that she was truly trying to protect Harry from someone she thought was a womanizing cheater. I obviously didn’t do a good enough job of making sure she could trust me implicitly.”
“Harrison, you knew how hard it was for her. She’d never dated and had no experience in relationships. Not to sugar coat it, but you were a man-whore before you met her. She calmed you down, and let’s not even discuss what happened after she left you,” his dad said.
Harrison hung his head down. “Dad, I’m not proud of who I was or what I became. I let the fame of being the star athlete go to my head, and those girls were throwing themselves at me. Finally, when Rhett me his wife, things began to change for me, and I’ve distanced myself from that lifestyle.”
“And we’re proud of you,” Alice said as she took his hand. “I know you’ve carried that ring around for almost eleven years. Only you know if she’ll ever wear it, or if it will continue to hang around your neck.”
Harrison absently fingered the ring around his neck. If he was honest with himself, he wanted her, but it was going to take time. He really needed to get away for a while and think. “Thanks for listening. I’m sorry to drop all this on you, but I guess there was no easy way?”
Dan looked at Harrison and said, “Why now?”
“Sarah said it’s because Harry started asking questions about his dad, and after spending time with me, she really felt like she knew I didn’t do what she was told I did. Honestly, I can’t blame her for protecting him. I’m not entirely sure I wouldn’t have done the same thing. Looking at him, she seems to have done a great job raising him. I think I’m going to head out of town for a little while. I need to clear my head. Feel free to call me if you need me. I’m not sure where I’m headed, but I may go back to Vegas. Please don’t tell anyone where I’m at. I need the time to clear my head.”
“Just remember we love you son. We’ll be there for you no matter what.” Dan said.
Harrison got up and hugged his parents before leaving. As he was driving down the road, he called and booked an airline ticket and then went home to pack.
Sarah was good and drunk by the time her mom arrived home. She and the girls had finished two bottles of liquor and several cigars. She could barely speak, but she was giggling uncontrollably when her mom walked out onto the patio.
“Good Lord, girls. This place smells like a distillery met an ashtray. I’m guessing today didn’t go so well if this is what I came home to. At least you have friends to help you out. Thanks, girls, for being there for Sarah.”
“No problem Mrs. B. It was our pleasure. I just hope our husbands remember to come pick us up. Otherwise you’re going to be hosting the drunk tank tonight,” Marcie said with a little slur.”
Shaking her head, Sarah’s mom went inside to brew some coffee for the girls.
Sarah looked at Marcie and Nicole and said, “Thanks for being here for me. I don’t mean to be such a little brat about this whole thing.”
Nicole looked at her and said, “You’re not alone. I guess I’m drunk enough to tell this story to both of you. Lincoln is a great man, but before him I was in a dark place. When I was fourteen, I was drugged and date raped. I got pregnant and gave Aubrey up for adoption. I never told Lincoln any of that, until Aubrey’s adopted parents were killed in a car accident and she was given back to me to take care of by the same people who adopted her. I was scared as hell that Lincoln would run the other way. Our relationship was barely a month old, and here I was bringing a child I didn’t even know into our relationship. He really stepped up and became an instant father to Aubrey. Then, even with my IUD, I accidently got pregnant and instead of staying and talking to Lincoln like an adult I ran. It took him three weeks to track me down, but when he did he dropped to one knee and explained that he knew about the pregnancy and wanted to marry me. Like the fool I was, I turned him down, until he explained that he and Aubrey had picked out the ring months earlier and he was waiting until I was ready to ask me. Of course, I said yes and the rest is history.”
Marcie and Sarah both said, “Wow.” At the same time.
“I always knew there was something more than you told us, but just wow,” Sarah said.
“He was an ass today, but he was shocked. Don’t push him, but don’t wait too long either.”
Sarah nodded her head. “I won’t. I’ll give him his space, but I won’t let him run from us. He has so much to gain by having Harry in his life. I’d give him up if it meant Harry could have him.”
“Oh Hun. I don’t think it’ll come to that,” her mom said as she came out carrying coffee with a tray of cream and sugar.
“Thank you, Mrs. B. I probably need to sober up a little being in the honeymoon phase and all.” Marcie said with a smirk.
Before long, there was a knock at the door and Cole and Lincoln stood there with Jeremiah by their side.
Lincoln smiled at Cole and Jeremiah as they walked into the living room and out onto the patio. “Looks like two of us are getting lucky tonight boys. Sorry Jeremiah.”
The girls all laughed.
Then Sarah’s mom said, “A little young, but he could be useful tonight.”
Sarah choked on her coffee while she watched Jeremiah’s face turn beet read and then try to think of a way out of it.
“I’m just kidding young man. I like them a little older and more experienced.”
Sarah watched as Jeremiah let out a long slow breath.
“All right ladies. Time to go. I still have to drop Jeremiah off since he was nice enough to drive Sarah’s car home. By the way, Sarah, you left your purse at the office and it’s sitting on the table.”
“Thank you, Lincoln and Jeremiah.” Sarah said. Sarah hugged the girls and guys goodbye as they headed out the door. She was left with her mom who had a concerned look on her face, she knew what was coming next. Sarah went ahead and walked to the living room to take a seat carrying her coffee with her.