by Stark, Cindy
She pulled from his embrace and stood. He followed her up. "Being with you has been one of the best experiences of my life, but I can't. Not now. I had another call from Cassie today. Somehow the temperature on my largest fridge was turned down too far and all the flowers froze. It's clear to me that I need to focus on my business right now and not on a new relationship. It wouldn't be fair to either of us."
She covered her temples with her hands, as though trying to stave off a headache. "To me, these are all signs that I'm not ready for anything more. Besides, you didn't want anything serious, either, remember? After a while, I'd cramp your free-living style."
He stared into her eyes, wet with unshed tears. Damn his heart for betraying him. "Things change."
"No, nothing's changed. This is just a fantasy."
Her words sucker-punched him, and he swallowed the hurt.
She released a weighted breath. "I've barely gotten my feet beneath me. I can't take the chance that something might knock me off balance again. Not that I'm saying you would, but it's taken me years after my divorce to come this far. I need to be on more solid ground before I can consider any kind of a relationship."
"And we both agreed no strings attached." Why on God's green earth had he ever agreed to that? He moved away from her, turning his back, not wanting to show any emotion. He ached to be extremely selfish and beg her to stay. He knew if he pushed the issue, he could convince her to let him see her again. But he couldn't do that to her. Not after how her ex-husband had tried to control her. Ultimately, she'd hate herself and probably him if she caved. "I just didn't expect to have these kinds of feelings for you."
She wrapped her arms around him from behind. "Please understand. What you're feeling is the magic of being in paradise. It's the no-expectations, all-fun game we've been playing." She moved to the front of him, capturing his gaze. "This isn't real. Real life is tough. It's responsibilities and demands. It's mostly work and little play. It's also the number-one relationship killer."
He couldn't let her devalue what they had even if they didn't have a future. "This is more than casual, Elena, and you know it."
"It's not going to work, Joe. Not for us. Not right now. Please, let's make the most of the night we have left, and I promise, a week after I'm gone, the memories of us together will fade into reality. Hopefully, they'll still be happy memories, but you'll see this for what it really is. Just an island fling."
He didn't believe her. "Don't cheapen it like that. Even if this is all we'll ever have, it meant something." The mark she'd left on him wasn't a small scratch. It was a scar he'd carry for life. "This was more than just physical. I think I—"
"Don't." She covered his lips with her fingertips as though that would keep him from speaking his feelings. "Please, don't go there."
He held his features defiant. He loved her, damn it. Before she left, he wanted her to know.
She softened her features. "Please, Joe." She slipped her hands around his neck and tugged him closer, pressing her lips against his. He resisted at first, but then, despite his intentions, he caught fire. He jerked her against him in a rough embrace and claimed her kisses.
If all he had left was the night, he wouldn't waste it.
* * *
Elena awoke with a start. A panicked feeling choked her, and she quickly rolled over. Next to her, the bed was empty. Cold and empty.
For almost a week, she'd woken to find Joe next to her. Now he was gone.
Joe.
Already, she yearned to be able to reach out and put her hand on the smooth expanse of his tanned back. He'd been solid and warm, and for a crazy second she reconsidered staying in Cabo with him.
But they had their agreement. Even though he'd balked at it the previous night, they'd made that pact for a reason. It had been as much her idea as his, and that's what had made their days together so wonderful. She was sure of it.
They'd laughed, drank margaritas, and danced the tango. But the highlight had been when they'd made love. She'd savored those times and remember them often after she returned home.
She wasn't naïve, though. Knowing that there were no strings between them had kept things lighthearted and fun. If those strings suddenly appeared, things would surely go downhill. He'd have to fit into her life, the craziness of her running a business. He wouldn't like the amount of time she would want to spend with her daughter, and on and on. Or she'd have to move down here to be with him. That wouldn't work with Cassie and her school, and she wouldn't leave her daughter behind.
To be honest, he wouldn't be comfortable in her world. After all of these years, she barely was. Yes, she sounded like a snob, but she knew the reality of how people in Richard's circle were. People that she still had to associate with. Everything revolved around money. She'd abandon her lifestyle if it weren't for Cassie. Truth was, Richard's connections afforded Cassie opportunities, and she wouldn't take that away from her daughter.
Plus, she didn't want to be tied down. Not again. She'd finally made it to the point where she'd put her divorce behind her, and she enjoyed her freedom. That's what she wanted. Freedom. The ability to make the choices she wanted, when she wanted to. She bit her bottom lip to stifle the unhappiness welling inside her.
If that wasn't enough, there was the responsibility to her business. After the mishap with the vendor and then her refrigerator, it was obvious she needed to focus on her shop until it was firmly out of the red. The income it generated kept a roof over her head, after all.
Elena rolled over and got out of bed. As she stood, she caught sight of an envelope addressed to her, and her heart leapt. She carefully opened the letter.
Elena--
I'm following your wishes and bowing out gracefully. There's no need to torture us both with a sad goodbye. You know how I feel, and that I'm here if you change your mind. Here's my number. I hope you'll call.
--Joe
She forced in a breath to replace the one his note had stolen. Damn it. His words left her dizzy and uncertain, and it wasn't fair. This whole thing wasn't fair. How dare the fates tease her like this when the only possible outcome was heartbreak? Life could be so cruel.
She needed to keep her thoughts straight and not get tangled in emotional dreams that played out like a fairytale. There were no magic princes that would ride in and make her days on earth wonderful. She was responsible for her own life.
Logic would keep her safe. Logic would keep her happy. Logic was the only thing that was going to get her out of Mexico and safely on the plane, beyond the unrealistic grasp of daydreams. If, for one minute, she faltered and believed she could really make a life with Joe, well then someone ought to commit her to an asylum. It wasn't going to happen.
Elena stood there long enough to compose herself. Tears hovered behind her lids, but she didn't let them fall. She couldn't let them fall, or she'd lose the battle. And she refused to lose again. She gathered her courage and hardened her emotions, a skill she'd honed during the months surrounding her divorce.
She could do this. She owned her life, after all.
In the bedroom, she retrieved the remaining clothes from her closet and opened a suitcase. On top, lay a carefully folded white shirt. Joe's shirt.
She picked it up and held it to her, catching a whiff of his scent. She'd forgotten the maid had found it the morning after they'd first made love. Elena had set it aside, intending to return it to him at some point, and then she'd forgotten about it.
Or had she? Could she admit that she'd wanted something of his to take home with her? Something tangible so that she'd know her wild, romantic island fling had been real?
It didn't take long for her to finish packing. She'd had her Talavera vase shipped home separately, leaving only her two suitcases to roll out to the waiting taxi. She took one last look at the beautiful flowers Joe had given her. She plucked one of the red ginger flowers and snatched the card to take with her. She'd been so caught up in playing with him that she hadn't had his inscription
translated yet.
With a weighted heart, she walked to the door and took one last look at the room that held so many beautiful memories. She nodded, trying to be comfortable with her decision.
It was over. He was gone. It was time to go back to the place where she had her life and her emotions under control.
It was time to go home.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Carmel-by-the-Sea, California
One Week Later
"Hey, Mom. What's up?"
Elena turned from the computer to find her blonde and willowy daughter standing in the doorway of the tiny office in the backroom of her shop. The room held just enough space for Elena's desk and a filing cabinet, but she'd painted it a sunny yellow to make up for the lack of windows and always kept a vase of fresh flowers on her desk.
"Hi sweetie." Elena smiled. There was nothing like looking into her beautiful daughter's face to brighten her day. "I'm ordering roses for the Kapinski-Taylor wedding." She stood and hugged Cassie, inhaling the fragrance from her apple-scented shampoo.
Her daughter wrinkled her nose. "The Kapinski wedding? As in Mindy Kapinski?" When Elena nodded, Cassie continued. "I hate her. She's such a snob, and Scott is a total sweetheart. He deserves someone way better than her."
"Right now, I can only see Mindy and her family as clients. Being asked to do their wedding is huge. If I pull this off to their satisfaction, which of course I will, I'm going to approach Mr. Kapinski about being a regular provider for their hotels and inns as well. Besides, you had your chance with Scott." She shrugged, teasing her daughter. "He asked you out first, and you turned him down. What's a guy to do, but take second best?"
Cassie rolled her eyes. "Whatever, Mom. I was dating Timothy Brown at the time, remember? You were certain he was perfect for me."
She remembered. The guy turned out to have a drug problem and broke her daughter's heart. "It goes to show that even wise old women like me can make mistakes."
At that, her daughter laughed. "You're not old." She gave her mother a once-over. "You're a hot thirty-something. Even hotter now that you have your south-of the-border tan, and your jellyfish stings make you look cool. Whatever they got going on down there in Mexico looks good on you."
Elena sat and shifted her gaze to her computer screen. She didn't want to talk about Cabo or think about what she'd left there seven days ago. Leaving Joe behind had woken the loneliness monster who had been hibernating in her soul. She'd been just fine doing things on her own before Cabo. And now? Now every spare minute was filled with thoughts of how life would be different if Joe was not a haunted memory.
The metal frame chair next to her even older metal desk squeaked as Cassie sat down. "You still haven't told me about the man you met."
Elena swiveled her gaze to her daughter. "What makes you think I met someone?"
"You were with him that night when I called." Cassie sent her a look that dared her to disagree.
"I was not."
"Oh, come on, Mom. I know you were. It's the twenty-first century. It's all right if you slept with a guy."
"I don't know where you get your information." There was no way she could confess her sins to her daughter. No way.
"Mercedes told me." She smiled sweetly and blinked her eyes, and Elena knew the game was over.
"Mm-hmm. She's dead." Of course, that would require seeing Mercedes, and her friend had been in hiding since Elena had returned. She'd give Mercedes the time she needed to get her feet under her and then the gloves were coming off.
Cassie snatched the water bottle from Elena's desk and helped herself. "Don't freak. I don't care what you do. I just want to know what he's like. What did you do besides sleep together? Give me details."
Elena shook her head. "I can't believe I'm having this conversation with my daughter."
"Hello, Mom. I’m an adult now, and we are having this conversation. So spill."
"Fine. I met him at a club. We danced." Elena smiled, remembering them doing the salsa. "He's very good. Afterward, we walked on the beach."
Cassie leaned in closer. "Really?" Her expression grew soft and dreamy. "That's like so romantic. I'm jealous."
Elena gave her a friendly punch. "Stop it."
"What else?"
"Well, when you called, he was taking me sailing on his boat. We spent some time shopping at the local flea market, and he's the one who took Mercedes and me diving."
"How come you get to do all the fun stuff?"
Elena snorted. "What are you talking about? You do all kinds of cool things with your friends."
"Not deep sea diving. I've always wanted to do that." She scooted to the edge of her chair, excitement glowing in her eyes. "Maybe before school starts again, we could go back to Cabo, and your friend could take both of us." Cassie gave her a hopeful smile.
Elena missed him. She'd expected he'd quickly fade to a fun memory, but that hadn't happened. Instead, she'd spent far too many hours wishing she could turn back time and be cradled in his arms again. "I don't think so."
"Why not? I know I can get money from dad. Didn't you get the guy's number?"
How could she possibly explain the situation to her daughter? "Not exactly."
"What does that mean? Not exactly?"
Elena sighed. "We agreed that it ended there."
Cassie shook her head, clearly not happy with her answer. "That's dumb."
"We both decided that it would be better if we enjoyed our time together with no strings attached." That was a simple explanation of their relationship. No need to go into the reasons behind it.
"That's totally lame. You could have at least gotten his number or email address in case you changed your mind."
Elena wasn't about to admit she did have a way to reach him. "I have my reasons for not wanting anything serious. Did I tell you that I called that vendor again to see if I could get more details on our cancelled order? The owner said one of his employees took the information, but that the name written on the cancellation was mine."
"What? No way." Cassie slipped a band from her wrist and pulled her hair up into a ponytail. "Are they a bunch of idiots there?"
"I don't know. They seemed pretty reputable. I might give them another chance on regular orders because their prices are so good, but not on special orders. At least not until they've proved themselves."
"Well, no one here cancelled that order. We're not that dumb. Although I don't know what happened with the fridges. We all know not to mess with the temperature. Maybe we bumped it putting in the flowers?"
"That's possible. I guess we all just need to be a little more careful." From now on, she'd be on site to check things and handle any matters that popped up. Fate had given her a warning, and she intended to heed it.
"I hope it won't stop you from going back to Cabo." Cassie wiggled her brows.
"I'm not going back. That was a one-time deal." She shifted in her chair, not happy the conversation had returned to her personal life.
Cassie reached over and opened a desk drawer, removing a pack of gum. She unwrapped a piece and stuck it in her mouth, studying Elena in the process and making her more than a little uncomfortable.
"Was he hot?"
"Hot?" Hotter than she cared to admit. "Yes, I suppose you could say that."
Cassie chewed, then popped a bubble. "Was he nice? Did he treat you well?"
She nodded, remembering the flowers he'd given her and the young man they'd helped. "I suppose I should have told you before, but he's the one who bought us our matching rings."
"Really?" She glanced down at her hand for a moment. "He has good taste, too." Her daughter stood and looked at Elena. "I hate to tell you, Mom, for being a wise old woman, you royally screwed things up this time." She kissed her on the cheek. "I'll see you later." She stopped and pointed at the pot full of red ginger flowers vying for space on her desk. "Nice vase, by the way."
Taken aback, Elena watched her daughter exit through the open doorway of the office and
out in to the work area of her shop. Cassie said goodbye to Carmen at the front counter and then the chimes of the front door rang as she left.
Elena sat for a moment, dumbfounded.
Since when had her daughter become a self-proclaimed expert on relationships? Cassie had no idea how complicated things could be. She'd never seriously dated anyone. She didn't know what it was like to invite someone to share a life that was already full of family and work.
Take her shop, for instance. Elena shifted her gaze to the blooms in a variety of shapes and colors that filled the refrigerated cases in the work area. The refrigerators alone had set her back a chunk of money. The rent. The employees. Everything. She'd built her dream and was finally to the point of realizing some good profits. There was no way she could have achieved what she had if she'd been focused on a man.
For all of her brilliance, her daughter didn't know a lot about life. Businesses like hers achieved success because the owners made them a priority. Cassie was a priority, too. There wasn't time for much else. She certainly didn't need a man to complicate things, no matter how hot he was.
From Cassie's romantic perspective, maybe she had messed things up. But from her point of view, she'd made the logical, smart decision leaving Joe behind in Mexico. He was part of the vacation package. Not part of everyday life.
That was that. The sooner she absorbed that into her brain, the sooner she'd be able to put her longings in the past where they belonged.
* * *
After a long day of mixing and matching lilies, roses and gypsophila to get the perfect designs for the Kapinski wedding, Elena pulled into her drive. She dragged her tired body out of the car and turned toward her 1920s European-style cottage with a pitched roof and large picture windows. If she lived in a storybook, Hansel and Gretel could have been her neighbors.
Much-welcomed solace embraced her as she followed the brick pavers into the woodland gardens that surrounded her haven. Cypress trees and creeping bright red bougainvillea secluded her from the rest of the world. Her home was so much more than a place to shelter from the elements.