by Stark, Cindy
"Oh, I see. You have a problem with commitment, do you?" She raised a brow.
A quick smile brightened his face. "Uh…maybe."
"Now look at who's the hesitant one." Relationships she didn't want to talk about, but business? That was comfortable ground for her. "You said yourself that your sister was more than capable of handling the business, and that she loves it, so why are you keeping both of you from living your dreams?"
She didn't give him a chance to respond. "Do you have the capital to get it started? Can you keep a roof over your head while you get your business on its feet?"
He nodded, staring intently at her. "I've got the money."
"Then why not do it? Why not spend your time doing something you love? Your sister sounds more than capable of filling your shoes. So, here's the chance you've both been waiting for."
He nodded. "I'll think about it." Looping his arm around her shoulders, he pulled her to him for a quick kiss. "Thanks for being my sounding board."
An hour later, Joe parked the car and walked Elena to her doorstep. A cooling breeze wafted through the trees, leaving a chill in the air.
"Thanks for a nice evening." The creases in his cheeks appeared as he smiled. "I'm glad you've decided to give us a chance."
"A friends-with-benefits chance." He needed to understand that was as much as she could give right now.
"Whatever. I'm just happy to have spent time with you."
"I had a great time, too." She always did when she was with him. She unlocked the door and gestured inside. "Would you like to come in for a bit?"
His eyes sparkled. "I should be getting back. I promised Renee I'd be in the office early in the morning."
"What? Are you afraid I might seduce you? Get you to agree to a purely physical relationship?" She tickled her fingers over his ear and down along his jaw line. His pulse slammed against her touch, giving her a sense of the influence she had over him. "I've missed you, you know." She turned his face in her hands and kissed him.
A groan rumbled from deep in his chest, and he took a step back. "You're not going to make this easy, are you?"
"Make what easy?" She was aware of his agenda, but she had one of her own. "It's like you said. I just want to spend a little more time with you."
He released a pent-up breath and gave her a frustrated smile. "My point exactly. The only difference is, you want a few stolen moments, and I want something more substantial."
Her insides clenched. "I told you—"
"I know what you said. Nothing serious." He tilted her chin up with his forefinger and stared into her eyes. "But you should know, for me, making love with you is extremely serious business."
The moisture in her mouth evaporated. Her nerves tightened again, but for a totally different reason. She wanted him, desperately. "It doesn't have to be."
"Hmm…" He settled his lips on hers, igniting the molten sensations flowing through her. She slid her fingers around the back of his neck, holding him to her. He captured her hands and removed them as he ended the kiss.
He took a step backward off the porch. "I think we should go sailing for our next date. If you're interested, I'll be waiting for your call." He blew her a kiss and turned toward his car.
Elena watched him leave, reeling from his sensual assault, sure that he'd change his mind and come back. How could he walk away when he knew what the night held for them?
When she could no longer hear the sound of his engine, she went inside and dropped into the nearest chair. Unreleased sexual desire flooded her, leaving her bewildered and irritated. For all of her good intentions, she had no control over him at all.
He wanted an emotional commitment from her, but he knew she couldn't give it. She'd been more than clear that physical was as far as she'd concede in their relationship, so why did he keep toying with her?
A gust of determination filled her. Fine. He might have won that battle, but the war wasn't over yet.
She'd persist every time she saw him until he surrendered. It wasn't a matter of wanting to get her way. He'd already battered her boundaries. If he couldn't stay quietly in her past, if he insisted on being a part of her future, then this was his only option. In the long run, she knew she'd win. After all, what red-blooded, healthy man could resist sex for long?
* * *
Hell and damnation. The last nine dates had ended exactly the same way for Joe. Once again, he stood on Elena's porch staring into her enticing green eyes, hanging on to the last shred of his sanity as she tried to tempt and tease him into her bed.
Tonight, she wore the same sexy Marilyn Monroe dress that she had when he'd met her. The low-cut dress revealed far too much skin and alluring curves for his comfort, and he'd spent nearly all of their dinner date trying to ignore the raging urges coming from the lower half of his body.
"I'm going to be blunt, Joe." The soft glow from the porch light shimmered on her hair. Soft, touchable hair that ended in a slight curl on the swell of her breast. "I want you to come to bed with me."
He started to shake his head, but she interrupted.
"Tonight." Determination glinted in her eyes. "I refuse to wait any longer."
"You know my intentions, Elena." He took a step back, hoping the extra distance would quiet his hunger. "I'm trying to court you properly, to build a relationship."
"To hell with your intentions. I'm a sex-starved woman, and I intend to sleep with you tonight."
"Sex-starved?" Her choice of words drew a chuckle out of him.
"Don't laugh at me." She grabbed the lapels of his jacket and tried to turn him around so that she was between him and his escape. Out of amusement, he let her. She gave him a push, and he bumped against her door. She took a quick step and pressed herself against him, her kissable lips only inches from his. His long-term goals faded like a drawing in the sand washed away by a wave.
"I need you, Joe." Her expression shifted from resolute to a beguiling softness, and she eased back a bit. "What we had in Cabo was wonderful, and I want that again. Nothing more. Nothing less." She gave him a soft kiss and then traced a finger where her lips had been.
Oh, hell. Who was he trying to kid? He'd reached his limits. He was a goner, and he knew it. The last of his reserve floated away with the evening breeze.
"I won't have sex with you." He watched as her lips turned pouty. He pulled her tight against him, studying the face of the woman he'd fallen in love with, watching the look on her face change from disappointed to confused.
Perhaps there was a way to salvage his original intention of courting her properly and making her fall in love with him. It was a chance he'd have to take. Maybe he couldn't deny her until she admitted her love for him, but he still intended to marry her. He'd be devastated to find that he'd waited this long in life to fall in love, only to realize the object of his affection didn't return his feelings.
"No sex, but…" He grinned. "I will make love with you." He wondered if she knew that he'd given his heart along with that statement.
Her eyes lit up, and she moistened her lips. "Okay."
She stepped back and opened her purse. When she pulled out her keys, he took them from her and unlocked the door.
"If you insist on making love, we're going to do it right." He opened the door and scooped her into his arms, his actions extracting a surprised gasp from her. He paused in the doorway, giving her an intent gaze. "This won't be the last time I carry you across a threshold."
Elena widened her eyes. When she tried to disagree, he kissed her.
* * *
Elena wanted to argue, but the delicious sensations from Joe's kisses were too much to resist right now. She'd make her point again later, after she'd gotten what she needed.
He set her down in the darkened house as she pulled and tugged at his clothes. Their lips met in a haphazard fashion as she fumbled with clumsy fingers, trying to undo the buttons on his shirt.
He pulled back, both of them sucking in air. "Too fast," he said. Without rele
asing her, he flipped on the light and shut the door. Heated attraction burned in his eyes, giving him an untamed look. It was the look of a man who'd gone too long without.
He wasn't the only one.
"It's not fast enough." She loved that he wanted to be tender, but right now, she preferred the less-emotional, hot and hurried sex. She had an urge that needed to be satisfied. That's all she required. She flicked open another button on his shirt. "I can't wait."
He gave her a quick kiss, then licked his bottom lip as though he could still taste her there. That action alone gave her immense pleasure.
He took her chin in his hand, staring at her with desire-darkened eyes. "I want this to be the most memorable night of your life, and it's not going to happen here on the floor with half our clothes still on."
"Oh." His declaration took the wind out of her heated sails. She blinked, touched that he wanted to impress her that much. The self-imposed capsule surrounding her heart ruptured, and though she tried to fight it, her emotions engaged. She wanted to run, but couldn't walk away from the man standing in front of her.
"Take me to your bedroom." His voice was husky, sexy.
Her bedroom? Oh, dear. Could she do this and still maintain control? Plain old sex was one thing. But this? Making love with Joe might cost her some precious emotional ground.
She should send him away…but she couldn't. In all her life, she'd never experienced this kind of emotional depth, and as much as she wanted to, she couldn't turn away from it now. She wanted this tenderness between them, too. Wanted desperately to experience what Joe meant when he'd said he wanted to make love with her.
She led him down the hallway, her heart beating louder than their footsteps on the hardwood floor. Past her home office, she stopped just inside the arched doorway to her bedroom.
She swallowed, knowing deep down this experience would rock her world. The thought alarmed and compelled her. Once she'd taken Joe to her bed, it was going to be a lot harder to get him out of her heart when he finally got tired of waiting for her to come around to his way of thinking.
Joe took her hand as he walked past her, pulling her into the room. He took a moment, surveying their surroundings. "Why don't you light the candles, and I'll put on some music."
As she finished, he came up behind her, turning her in his arms. "Did I tell you how beautiful you look tonight?" He ran his fingers lightly up and down her bare arms. Goosebumps sprinkled her skin as she shook her head.
"You are." He kissed her shoulder. "You're exquisite." He smiled, and she returned the expression.
Long gone was the desire to rip off his clothes. Crazy or not, she wanted to savor every moment, every touch. She wanted so much to be able to trust him, to trust that what he felt for her was real. She just didn't know if she dared.
She stood in front of him as he studied her, their gazes locked, his caress moving from her shoulder to the sensitive spot beneath her ear, then lower as he trailed two fingers to the valley between her breasts.
Her breath hitched as he slipped his hands behind her neck, tugging at her tie. The top of her halter dress loosened, then fell to her waist, leaving her breasts bare.
He looked but didn't touch. "I'm a lucky man." He shifted his gaze to her eyes, intensifying her shivers. "Not just because you're willing to share your body with me, but because you share your smile, your laugh, your thoughts."
Unexplored emotions slammed into her, leaving her exposed, vulnerable. "Joe." She reached out to him.
He touched her then, pulling her into his arms. "You're trembling." He arched a brow.
She didn't know what to say. Didn't know what she was feeling, or how to go about expressing it. "Love me."
"I do love you."
She wanted to explain that wasn't what she'd meant, but she didn't. Instead, she lost herself the in blissful arms of the man that she—
No…not loved. Wanted. The man that she wanted.
* * *
Afterward, they lay in her bed, her soft floral quilt pulled around them. Elena gazed into the semi-darkness, listening to Joe's heart beating steadily in his chest. She wanted to bask in the glow of their lovemaking, but couldn't.
In the heat of passion, she'd done the unthinkable. She'd let Joe cross her emotional borders. Together, they'd trampled merrily over them, not giving a second thought about why they were there or what they meant.
It wasn't his fault. He'd been honest about what he wanted, and she'd known the moment she'd let him back into her life that she was playing a dangerous game. She was a grown woman, in charge of her life. He'd told her his intentions, and she'd invited him in anyway. She'd only wanted a lover, but he'd gotten far too close to her heart.
"You're awfully quiet." He ran a teasing hand over her hip. "What are you thinking?"
"Nothing." Just like unwanted blossoms at her flower shop, she had to nip these feelings in the bud. She'd promised herself if things got too heated, she'd insist on more space between them. Tonight, they'd gone far past that point. "Just…nothing." But how did she do it without losing him?
A weighted silence crowded between them.
"Did I hurt you?"
"No. No." She shook her head. "You were amazing." Things had gotten so messed up, so out of hand, and she had no idea how to deal with them. "This is just more than I bargained for."
He stiffened. "What do you mean?"
She rolled away from him. "You know what I mean. I've told you time and again that I don't want anything serious, but here you are making me fall in love with you."
He sat up in bed and touched her arm. "Are you saying you love me?"
Hot, frightened tears surged from her eyes. She sat up, clutching the sheet to her chest as though it were her lifeline. "Damn it, Joe. You say that like it's a good thing."
The happiness shining in his eyes flipped to bewilderment. "What the hell? It is a good thing, Elena. Why do you have to fight this?"
"Because I don't want this. I don't want to be in love. I don't want to lose myself so far in a relationship that it takes me another twenty years to find me again." She knuckled the tears away from her cheeks.
"Honey, that's not going to happen to us."
She hugged herself. "You don't know that."
"I know that I love you, and I want what's best for you."
She buried her face in her hands. "Then you should go. Just…just leave."
"I'm not going to leave you like this." He tried to take her hand, but she shook him off.
"I need to be alone. I need time to think. To sort things out." She didn't want to send him away, but she needed some space to breathe without his overwhelming presence crowding her thoughts. She eyed him through wet lashes. "I know I'm a wreck. I know this isn't fair to you, but it's what I need right now." She paused. "Please?"
"Can I see you tomorrow?" His words were filled with uncertainty.
"I'm busy tomorrow evening. Cassie's coming," she lied.
"How about Saturday?"
"I can't then, either. It's the mayor's fund-raising ball." At least that was true. "My shop is providing all the flower arrangements."
He shifted, kissing her head. "Let me take you. I have a tux."
"No. No. It's…I'll be busy getting everything ready." It had been a huge, huge mistake letting him love her that way. "Besides, I already agreed to let the mayor's brother escort me."
He turned his head as though she'd slapped him. "I see."
"It's a business move. Nothing else. I had agreed to it before you came to Carmel to find me."
Several heartbeats passed before he flipped on her antique lamp, throwing harsh shadows across the room. The mattress shifted as he got up and walked around the bed, not bothering to cover himself. As he stood before her, she couldn't help but glance at him, remembering how glorious his body had felt inside and around hers.
"So, is this it? Did I just make the worst mistake of my life making love to you?"
She wanted to cry. Life wasn't fai
r. "I told you I didn't want anything serious." She turned away, not wanting to look at him, not wanting to see the grief that etched his features. "And then you, you…"
"I made love to you, Elena. With you." Anger and frustration colored his words. "We did that together, and it was wonderful. The rest of our lives could be that way if you'd just let me in."
With her head down, she snuggled the throw tighter around her. "I'm not ready. I told you that. I don't want anything serious, but you won't listen."
"Because I don't think it's true." He turned from her, picking up his jeans. From the corner of her eye, she watched him put them on. "You keep saying you don't want a relationship, but that's not what your actions show."
She ran a quick replay of their dates through her mind, looking for any signals she might have sent him. "Like what?"
He pulled his shirt over his head and then focused on her. "Like calling me in the middle of the night because you miss me. Or asking about my family and discussing my future with me." He paused. "Or maybe the way you respond to me when I touch you."
She shook her head. No, he was wrong. "I do care about you, Joe."
"Oh, hell, Elena." He looked like he wanted to punch something. "It's more than caring." He trapped her with a hard stare. "You love me like I love you. You just won't admit it."
She shook her head as tears gathered in her eyes. "I don't." She inhaled a shaky breath. She was sure she would never love again. "I can't."
"Can't? What kind of bullshit is that? You can't love someone?" He raked a hand through his hair. "I know you're scared. Love is a scary thing, and I know you've been deeply burned by it before. But, please, give us a chance. We can take things slow, take our time, but don't shut me out."
No. He might be right thinking she was scared, but she had a right to be. She had a right to be careful. She wasn't going to screw up her life again. And he didn't know the meaning of "taking it slow". "I can't do this right now." More tears slid down her cheeks, and she didn't try to hide them. She wanted him to know that this tore at her heart, too. More than anything, she didn't want to hurt him, but she couldn't jump into a relationship like he wanted. Not now. Maybe not ever again. Why couldn't he understand?