A Little Ray Of Sunshine

by Lani Diane Rich

He shrugged, tucked the pack into his pocket, then pivoted and leaned against the trailer next to me, both of us staring out into the simmering metal jungle of a New Jersey RV park. I tried to picture a world in which this could possibly be happening, but it would require flying pigs. Hell freezing over. The four horsemen tramping into town to catch a steak dinner before the planet exploded in a fiery maelstrom.

  “Hey, there!”

  I glanced up and saw the angel walking toward us, her arms full with paper grocery bags. In the summer sun, her blonde hair actually gave off a halo effect. It was disconcerting.

  “You made a friend?” Digs asked, not bothering to mask the surprise in his voice.

  I ignored him, just pushed myself off the side of the trailer and took three shaky steps to meet Jess.

  “Um, hey,” I said. “Look, I’m sorry. I think I might have to cancel tonight.”

  Jess’s smile didn’t waver. “Why? What’s up?” She glanced past me and grinned at Digs. “Hi, I’m Jess.”

  “Oh, this is an old friend of mine, David Greene.”

  Digs ambled up behind me, and despite the fact that I couldn’t see him, I could feel him wink at her. Digs and blondes were a lethal combination.

  “You can call me Digs.”

  “Nice to meet you.”

  Digs shot me a permission-seeking look; I gave a brief shake of my head. Jess hefted the groceries in her arms. “I hope you like blueberry pancakes, Digs, because I brought enough to feed an army.”

  I put my hand on her arm. “Look, Jess, I’m sorry, but I just got some bad news and I’m not sure I’m up to having company tonight, so...”

  Jess’s smile flipped into an expression of deep compassion. “Oh, no. I’m so sorry. What happened?”

  Digs snorted. “Her mother is getting married.”

  I resisted an urge to elbow Digs in the ribs as Jess gasped and her grin returned. “Oh! But that’s wonderful news! I’ll make the pancakes, we’ll celebrate!” She turned her grin on Digs. “So, Digs, how long have you known EJ?”

  “Oh, let’s see.” He glanced upward. “Somewhere around twenty-five years.”

  Jess’s eyes widened. “That’s wonderful! I’ve been trying to get to know her, but she’s kind of dodgy when it comes to questions. Maybe you can fill me in.” She shifted the bags in her arms again, and Digs reached out to relieve her of a bag.

  “Oh, thank you…”

  I grabbed the bag from him and held it out for Jess. “Yes, thank you, Digs, but she can’t stay.”

  “Oh, sure I can!” Jess said. “We’re celebrating your good news!”

  “And I happen to love blueberry pancakes,” Digs said, taking the bag from me and starting back toward the trailer. “So, Jess, how long have you known EJ?”

  Jess followed along behind him, and I reluctantly brought up the rear.

  “We met last night. I’m her angel.”

  Digs glanced over his shoulder at me. I hadn’t seen him this happy since the time he’d found two cases of grape soda at the dump when we were kids. “You’re her angel?”

  “It’s not—,” I started, but Jess talked over me.

  “The Universe sent me to help her,” she said, as though this was an even remotely sane thing to say.

  “No, it didn’t,” I said. “Because I’m fine.”

  “Oh, sure you are,” Digs said, then turned his attention to Jess. “And you make pancakes?”

  Jess’s hair bounced as she nodded. “The best you’ve ever tasted.”

  “Wow.” Digs pulled open the trailer door. “A pancake-making angel. This I gotta see.”

  I don’t drink often, so after searching the entire kitchen, all I was able to come up with was a dusty fifth of Jack Daniel’s they’d given to all employees at the liquor store in New Mexico where I was working last Christmas. I nabbed two plastic cups before Jess took over the kitchen area and sent Digs and me to the dinette table. I slammed down one shot and poured a second before Digs had even touched his.

  “So,” Jess said as she ducked her head into all my cupboards and drawers, looking for utensils, “why isn’t it good news that your mother is getting married?”

  “It’s complicated.” I slammed down the second shot and reached for the bottle, but Digs was faster, and he moved it just out of my reach.

  “As the first object in your puke zone, I get administrative rights,” he grumbled, then spoke louder in Jess’s direction. “It’s Lilly’s eighth wedding, and my dad is the victim.”

  Jess’s lips twitched as she shot a look at Digs. “You mean, the groom?”

  “Yeah,” Digs said, cutting me a quick look. “That’s exactly what I mean.”

  “So, how do you all know each other?”

  “Heh heh,” I said. “That’s a complicated story.”

  “My father and her mother were best friends in middle school,” Digs said.

  “Oh!” Jess said, clapping her hands together. “Childhood sweethearts!”

  “Just friends,” I said. “Even by the tender age of ten, my mother knew better than to fall for anyone who wasn’t ‘in the business.’ She always said that sex without career advancement was a waste of a clean set of sheets.”

  Digs shot me a look.

  “What?” I said. “You were there that Thanksgiving.”

  “Anyway,” Digs went on, focusing on Jess, “my dad’s family moved up to Oregon, and Lilly stayed in LA, but they remained close. EJ used to spend summers with us when her mom was working.”

  “Or when she was drinking, or when she was chasing a man, or when being a mother cut into her spa time too much.” Both Digs and Jess went quiet, and I raised an eyebrow at Digs. “Hey, if you hadn’t taken the booze, I’d be drinking instead of talking. Your fault.”

  “Well,” Jess said, her expression bright and cheerful, “it has a happy ending, anyway. After all these years, they’ve found each other again and are getting married! How romantic!”

  “Just warms the cockles.” I turned my focus on Digs. “So, what’s up? You came all the way out here. It has to be more than just spreading the good news.”

  “Smart girl.” He looked at me, then shrugged. “Might as well tell you now. Lilly says she won’t marry Dad unless you’re at the wedding.”

  I sat up straighter. Wow. That was easy.

  “Done.” I nudged my cup toward him to fill. “I’ve just saved your dad from a horrible fate. I’m a hero. Pour.”

  Digs nudged the bottle even farther away. “Dad paid a private detective four thousand dollars to track you down, then he spent a week dogging me until I agreed to come out here and talk to you in person. I’m flipping a property out in Hillsdale that’s worth almost two million, and I’ve already missed two days on the site. Pack up, babe. You’re going.”

  “Well, of course she’s going.”

  I looked up, surprised. I’d almost forgotten Jess was still there. She stood, an unbroken egg hovering in her hand over a bowl, and gave me a look that was an equal mix of kindness and blind determination. I would learn later to take that look seriously, but at that moment, I just scoffed.

  “No, I’m not.” Even I could hear the quiver in my voice, so I cleared my throat and repeated strongly, “No. I’m not.”

  Digs sighed, grabbed the bottle and poured me two fingers.

  “The wedding is on Friday, June twenty-ninth, at the county courthouse--“

  I held up my hand. “Wait, wait, what? The county courthouse? You want me to believe that my mother is going to have a quiet little ceremony at the county courthouse?”

  Digs gave me a blank look, cleared his throat, and continued. “You will be in Fletcher no later than ten in the morning on that day. There will be a private party afterward. You can leave the next morning if you like, but you will be there. Considering that you haven’t found it within yourself to send so much as a fucking postcard to let us know you’re alive, this is the least you can do, okay?”

  I cringed and lowered my eyes. Digs was about
as laid-back as anyone I’ve ever met; when he’s pissed off, you know you’ve screwed up but good. And I had always known that I screwed up, I just never could figure out a way to fix it, so I never tried. It wasn’t a good excuse, but it was all I had.

  “I had my reasons,” I said finally. I could hear the sound of the egg cracking as Jess regained animation.

  “That’s your business,” Digs said softly. “And if this was the first two years, I would have come out here to tell you not to come back. But Luke’s over it now, and it’s time for you to come home.”

  My brain latched onto “Luke’s over it,” and a thousand stupid questions jockeyed for position. Was he over it like he’d forgiven me, or over it like he’d just moved on and still hated me? Was he with someone else now? Was he married? Good God, did he have kids? If I did go to this ridiculous wedding, would he talk to me, or would he pretend I didn’t exist, the way I’d done to him for the last six years? Or, worse, would he be polite to me, as if none of it mattered anymore? Did it not matter anymore?

  My heart seized. I’d hit the far edges of my ability to think about Luke. Panic slithered cold streaks over my arms, and I downed the two fingers.

  “I can’t go,” I said, my voice roughened by the liquor. “I’m sorry. Tell Danny I’m sorry, and that I love him, and that I’ll send a card--“

  “He doesn’t want a goddamn card,” Digs said. “You think you can’t face Luke? Fine. You don’t want to see your mom? Fine. But Dad wants you out there and you’re going, if I have to wrap you in a fucking sack and drag you there myself.”

  The panic was quickly outpaced by an anger so familiar that I embraced it like an old friend. “See? This is what she does. She won’t marry him unless I’m there, and suddenly, I don’t have any choices anymore. She doesn’t even ask me if I can make it, she just assumes—”

  A bright voice broke in from the kitchen. “Well, how could she ask you?”

  I looked up to see Jess staring down at me. For the second time that night, I had managed to be surprised by her presence.

  “You don’t know anything about this, Jess,” I said, not bothering to keep the sharp edge out of my voice.

  “I know that you haven’t spoken to your mother in years,” she said, her tone light and even. “I know that these people went to a lot of trouble to find you, and I guess that was quite a chore considering that your home is on wheels. I can tell that Digs here loves you very much, and it sounds like there are some other people who do as well.” She opened up a carton of plain yogurt and dumped a dollop into the mixing bowl. “It’s time to go home, EJ”

  My mouth dropped open and I turned suspicious eyes on Digs. “Did you put her up to this? Is she some kind of mole you sent to coerce me?”

  Digs shook his head. “I don’t have that kind of initiative.”

  “Honestly, EJ,” Jess went on, “do you really think it’s a coincidence that the Universe sent me at the exact same time She sent Digs?” She held the bowl to her stomach and turned to face me, shaking her head as she mixed. “No matter how many times I see it, it still amazes me how hard some people will work not to see the obvious.”

  “The angel makes a good point,” Digs said.

  Jess poured some batter onto the griddle. It sizzled heartily and filled the small area with a heady, fruity scent that I found both comforting and oddly anxiety-producing. I put my forehead down on the cool Formica dinette and groaned.

  Digs patted me on the back.

  “Huh,” he said. “I think we broke her.”

  When one grows up under the bright lights of a Hollywood soundstage, it’s hard to imagine childhood any other way. Don’t all children memorize scripts every night? Don’t all children have fans chasing them down at shopping centers? Don’t all children spend more time with adults than with friends their own age?

  A mother without a normal childhood cannot be expected to understand her child. It’s simply asking too much.

  --from Twinkie and Me: The Real Life Confessions of Lilly Lorraine

  Three

  The pancakes were that special buttery kind of delicious, the kind where even when they’re in your mouth, you simply can’t believe how good they are. I ate slowly, because even an angel’s pancakes are questionable after three shots of whiskey. The conversation relaxed, and Digs filled me in on the last six years, during which he’d dated inconsequentially and moved out of Danny’s real estate office into business with Luke flipping houses for fun and profit. I filled him in on my life - in which the only interesting thing that had happened was being adopted by an angel. Jess asked us question after question about our childhood, and we kept her entertained with stories until Digs glanced at his watch.

  “It’s almost ten,” he said. “My plane leaves at midnight.” He smiled at me. “I gotta run.”

  “You know what?” Jess said, pushing herself up from the dinette and grabbed the plastic bag of garbage from under the sink. “I’m gonna take this out for you.”

  “You don’t have to--“ I said, sliding out from my seat, but she p’shawed me and was out the door. I turned to Digs.

  “Well,” I said.

  “Yeah,” he said.

  “Thanks for coming. It was good to see you.” I breathed in deep and chewed the inner edge of my lips, blinking hard. Stupid whiskey.

  He chucked me under the chin. “So you’re gonna be there, right?”

  The very thought of attending yet another one of my mother’s weddings made my heart seize up in impotent fury and terror. The fact that wonderful, sweet, kind, loving, innocent Danny was the victim only intensified the sensation that the world was whirl-pooling into disaster. I couldn’t even think about seeing Luke again without my stomach turning cartwheels in my gut. There was no way in hell I was going to that wedding. I wouldn’t survive the first fifteen minutes. But I knew Digs wouldn’t leave until I told him what he wanted to hear.

  “Yeah,” I said. “Of course. I’ll totally be there. I mean, it’s Danny, right? How can I not be there for Danny’s wedding?”

  “Right,” Digs said, watching me. “June twenty-ninth. That gives you almost two weeks.”

  “Plenty of time,” I said. “I’ll just finish up my business here and I’ll be right on my way.”

  He raised his eyebrows. “So you’ll be there early?”

  “Sure,” I said. “Or on time. Whatever.”

  “But you’ll be there.”

  I nodded emphatically, hoping he’d leave before I burst into tears right there. He pulled me into a hug and kissed the top of my head, and it wasn’t until that moment that I fully felt how much I had missed him.

  “It was good to see you again, kid,” he said.

  He released me, gave a short wave, and headed out the door. I stared at the door for a long while, hating that I’d just lied through my teeth to Digs. But even worse would be going to that wedding, and I had no intention of putting myself through that.

  Besides, I thought as I ran my fingers over my eyes, it’s not like I’m going to have to face Digs again, anyway.

  The door opened and Jess stepped inside, her smile fading as she caught the look on my face.

  “EJ?” she asked, putting her hand on my elbow. “Are you okay?”

  “I’m drunk, I think.” I grabbed a tissue off the counter and blew my nose.

  “Yeah, I think maybe,” she said, guiding me back toward my bed in the front of the trailer.

  “I had no choice,” I muttered, closing my eyes as she pulled the sheet up to my neck.

  “I know,” she said softly.

  Then all went black, and the next thing I remember is opening my eyes to the bright light of day flickering over my face as the curtains by my bed shimmied back and forth. At first, I thought it was just the world’s worst hangover, because the reality - that my Airstream was moving down an unknown highway at high speeds - was too much for my feeble brain to wrap around at that moment.

  I sat up and put my feet on the rumbling floor
and tried to think of a possibility, any possibility, other than the obvious one, which was that Digs had kidnapped me. He’d known I was lying about going to Fletcher, and he’d kidnapped me, the bastard. He’d said he would drag me if he had to, and he did.

  “Bastard,” I muttered. I stood up, but between the hangover and the movement, it took me a while to properly search the Airstream. My cell phone was not in it. I must have left it in the cab of the pickup the night before. I was truly helpless, although he would have to stop for gas eventually, and when he did I’d get my keys back, kick him to the side of the road, and keep heading west.

  To Colorado Springs.

  I crawled back onto the foldout and pulled the curtains on the front window, which looked right into the back of my truck, and almost fell off the bed.

  It wasn’t Digs who had kidnapped me, not unless he’d grown his hair out about six inches and tucked it into two tell-tale ponytails.

  I’d been kidnapped by the angel.

  I swished the curtains shut and thumped back down on the bed in disbelief.

  “You’ve gotta be kidding me,” I muttered to myself and put my hands over my eyes as I waited for the trailer to stop moving.

  The Airstream pulled to a stop about an hour later, at a truck stop off I-80, somewhere in the middle of Pennsylvania. Jess was at the door ready to greet me as I burst out of the trailer.

  “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” I sputtered. “This is kidnapping, you know. And, and, and... theft. And carjacking. And lots of bad, bad things. You’re lucky I don’t press charges. I might. I could. I could send you to jail. Are you crazy?”

  A trucker passing by snorted into his coffee cup. I pushed up my sleeves, about to launch into another tirade, when Jess put one hand calmly on my shoulder.

  “The keys are in the ignition,” she said, “but the tank is still filling up. I put it on my credit card, and you’re free to drive off where ever you want to go when it’s done. You were going to go where? Colorado Springs? Well, you’d be headed this way anyway, right?”

  I opened my mouth, but only released managed to release an impotent squeak.