She went down the hall to use the bathroom. After washing her hands, she stared at her reflection in the mirror. What was Ellery Wallace doing in her home? She couldn’t imagine. They weren’t friends. Their paths had seldom crossed through the years, and certainly the woman had never been a guest here. Other than the Fourth of July, she hadn’t seen Ellery since . . . since Joe’s and Angela’s funeral, and then only a glimpse of her at the back of the church. Jessica frowned, bothered by that memory.
She shook off the feeling and left the bathroom. After all, she would find no answers in that small room, staring at the mirror. Only Ellery could tell her why she’d dropped by out of the blue. For all Jessica knew, she wanted to order some original artwork.
Ellery hadn’t waited in the dining room. She had carried her glass of tea into the living room where she was perusing a group of photographs. As Jessica stepped from the hallway, she saw Ellery run her fingertip along the frame of a photo. It was the only one of Joe still on display in the house. She’d put all others in a box not long after the funeral.
“That was taken last summer,” she said, moving forward again.
Ellery drew her hand back, like a child caught in the cookie jar.
“Joe loved those wilderness trips. Packing in where few other people ever go.”
“Did you like going with him?” Ellery turned her back to the photo.
“Yes.”
“I’ve never cared for roughing it myself.”
Jessica didn’t know Ellery well, but she would have guessed that about her.
“When is your baby due, Jessica?”
“Around the first of September.”
Ellery was silent a long while before saying, “You must have gotten pregnant just before the accident.”
Resentment coiled in Jessica’s chest. What business was it of Ellery’s when she’d gotten pregnant? What made Ellery think she had a right to say anything about Joe or their baby?
And just like that, Jessica knew the answer. Almost as if she’d known it all along. She stepped quickly to the sofa and sat down, her right hand on her belly in a gesture of protection.
“He never told you about me, did he? He said he was going to, but he didn’t.” Ellery shook her head. “I guess he betrayed us both.”
“Why did you come here?”
“I don’t know. I just . . . I just couldn’t believe it when I saw you in the park. I thought . . . He told me you never . . . He said he didn’t . . .” Ellery let the words die unfinished.
Resentment was replaced by an unexpected wave of pity. Jessica wanted to hate Ellery Wallace, but all she felt was sympathy. Ellery wasn’t a kind person or a generous person or even a friendly person. It should be so easy to hate her now that Jessica had discovered the truth. But hate wouldn’t come. She felt sorrow, regret, pity . . . but not hate.
Drawing in a deep breath through her nose, Jessica gave her head a slow shake. “I’m sorry, Ellery, but I think you should go.”
“Yes.” Ellery set her glass on the coffee table. “I should go.” She moved toward the door, then stopped and turned. Her chin lifted and a look of defiance entered her eyes. “He was going to marry me, you know. He promised to marry me and take me out of this town for good.” With a slight toss of her head, she turned away a second time.
Jessica stood but didn’t follow Ellery to the door and didn’t bother to say goodbye. After the door closed, she sank onto the sofa again, mulling over the encounter. She was surprised by the calm she felt in its wake. It had to be the peace that passed understanding, for she didn’t believe it would be possible otherwise. How very astonishing to discover the identity of her husband’s mistress, only to also discover it no longer mattered to her. There was lingering sadness for what might have been, for what should have been. She had wanted a lifelong marriage, filled with memories and joy. She had wanted to watch Angela grow up in a home with both a mother and a father. That wasn’t what had happened. Her life was very different from what she’d wanted, from what she’d planned. But God had brought her through the pain and heartache and loss. God would always bring her through. He was there in the joy, and He was there in the sorrow. He was there in the sameness and in the surprises. He was with her always, just as He’d promised.
It flowered inside of her then, the ability to let go of the past she could not change. The bitter root she’d held on to, even longer than she’d been aware, was gone.
“God, I forgive Joe,” she whispered. “I truly forgive him. And I forgive Ellery. I’m even sorry for her. Father, please forgive me, too, for failing to always walk as You would have had me walk. I lay it all at the foot of the cross. Help me not to take it up again.”
KUNA, IDAHO
Wednesday, August 28, 1935
A polio epidemic had struck the country in 1935, and President Roosevelt, himself a victim of infantile paralysis, led a drive to find a way to prevent or combat the disease. That summer the nation mourned the passing of Will Rogers in a plane crash in Alaska. And over all of that, the economic gains enjoyed in the previous year caused labor and capital to fight with each other harder than ever. To Andrew, it seemed more of a brawl of the no-holds-barred variety.
But for the Henning family, the biggest news of the year was the adoption of Ben, Louisa, and Oscar, which became final at the end of July. It didn’t change the way Andrew felt about the children. They’d been his kids in his heart from the moment they’d come to stay on the Greyson farm. Actually, it was the Henning farm now. Mother Greyson had transferred the deed to him and Helen the previous year.
At twelve, Ben had become Andrew’s trusted right hand, but at the moment, he was glaring at his dad. “School doesn’t make that much difference. Not when I’m driving a tractor or pitching hay.”
“School always makes a difference, son.”
“Not to me. I’m not smart like Louisa and Oscar.”
Andrew put a hand on the boy’s narrow shoulder. “That isn’t true. We all have different strengths. You may have to work harder at some things than your brother or sister, but you’re smart and you need an education. No child of mine is going to leave school as long as I can help it.”
“If I was home, you wouldn’t have to hire help for the fall harvest. Haven’t I been what you needed all summer?”
“You’ve been exactly what I needed all summer. You’re a hard worker and you listen to my instructions. Those are important attributes. But I also want you to be well read. When I talk to you about a story from the Bible, I want you to know the story already because you’ve read it for yourself. When I quote from Shakespeare, I want you to recognize what play it’s from. That won’t happen if you quit school at your age.”
“Who cares about Shakespeare? Won’t help you grow more hay on the same forty acres.”
“Ben.” He spoke the name softly and slowly. The boy knew that meant the conversation was over, and he was smart enough to heed the gentle warning. Andrew reached out and ruffled Ben’s hair to let him know he wasn’t angry. The boy gave him a reluctant nod before bending to pick up a board.
“Andrew!”
He looked toward the farmhouse and saw Helen standing beside the Ford, waving at him. “Finish up with that,” he told Ben. “I’ll be back.” He strode toward his wife.
It pained him at times that he couldn’t buy her lots of new clothes or give her a new car or spoil her with jewelry. But standing there in the same dress she’d worn to the wedding of Martha and Eddie Edwards—almost four years ago—with sunlight gilding her little straw hat, she looked like a queen.
“I didn’t expect you back from town this soon,” he said as he approached her. “Weren’t you having lunch with Mae?”
“We had lunch, but I didn’t want to dawdle.” She looked as if she might jump up and down, the same way Frani did when she was excited. “I have something to tell you.”
“What’s up?”
“I went to see Dr. Russell.”
“Dr. Russell?” Alarm
skittered through him. The Hennings didn’t go to the doctor for any old thing. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong.”
“Then what—” He stopped, understanding hitting him like a two-by-four to the back of his head. “When?”
She laughed, the sound tinkling and merry. “February.”
He picked her up and swung her around in a circle, his laughter joining hers. Then, just as quickly, he set her down. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. Are you okay?”
“Of course I’m okay. I’m not made of glass, and neither is the baby.”
His gaze shot to the house. “Guess I’d better get to work on that attic room I’ve talked about. Frani’s getting too old to stay in our room anyway, and I know Louisa’d give anything to stop sharing a room with the boys.”
“How will we afford it, Andrew?”
“We’ll afford it. I’ll make it work somehow.” In his mind, he started listing what he could sell or do to raise extra money.
“You’re happy about the baby, then?”
“Of course I’m happy about it. Our quiver’s not full of God’s blessings yet. Not until He says so.”
She shook her head, amusement remaining in her voice. “Some people would think four children is plenty, especially in times like these.”
“Some people would be wrong.”
Chapter 25
Feeling elated by his day down in the valley, meeting with a financial advisor and a Realtor, Ridley rapped on Jessica’s back door.
When she saw him, she smiled. “I didn’t expect you this soon. What time is it?”
“Not quite five.”
“I haven’t fed Kris yet.”
“I can take care of that.” He ran his hand over his hair. “How about I take care of you too? I mean, let me take you out to dinner.”
“Oh, that’s not necessary.”
“Please. I’d like to tell you why I went to Boise and what happened.”
She glanced over her shoulder. “I could fix us something. We could talk just as easily here.”
“Jessica, let me take you out to dinner.” He spoke softly but firmly. “Let’s call it a date.”
Pink rose in her cheeks. “A date?”
“Yeah. I think it’s time. Don’t you?”
Her answer was a tentative nod.
He took a step back, grinning. “I’ll be back in half an hour. I hear the Riverside is nice.”
“It is nice, but you don’t need—”
“Good. See you soon.” His gaze lowered to the dog, who sat on the floor behind Jessica. “Come on, Kris.”
He fed the dog, showered, and dressed in record time. Before heading out to his car, he called the restaurant to make certain they weren’t booked solid for the evening. They weren’t.
He drove to Jessica’s house, but this time he walked to her front door. His pulse quickened when he saw her in a lemon-yellow dress, loose and flowing and summery. She carried a white sweater over one arm and held a small clutch in her left hand.
“Yellow becomes you.”
She flushed at the compliment.
“Shall we go?” He offered his hand.
She took it. Her fingers felt cool within his larger, warmer hand. He was reluctant to release his grip when they reached the car, but he had no other choice. He saw her settled into the passenger seat, then hurried around to get behind the wheel. As eager as he was to finally share his ideas about his future, he didn’t want to do it while driving. He searched for something else to say, but his mind seemed suddenly blank.
It was Jessica who broke the silence in the car. “Do you remember the day you and I drove to Boise to get my new router?”
“Sure.”
“And I asked you if you’d been able to forgive the people who’d lied about you.”
“I remember.” He glanced her way, but she was looking out the passenger window at the river.
“And later, you told me you’d found forgiveness for them.”
“I remember,” he repeated.
“I didn’t tell you how very much I needed to be able to forgive someone too. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t think I could forgive.” She drew in a long, deep breath. “My husband was having an affair when he died.”
Ridley had guessed as much, that day in the park, but it made his heart ache for her, hearing her say it.
“He was leaving me for the other woman, but I didn’t know until today who she was. Who she is.” Her voice had lowered almost to a whisper. “She came to see me while you were down in the valley.”
He released a breath.
“I never had a clue that it was Ellery. Isn’t it strange that I didn’t know?”
Nothing on earth would have made him tell Jessica that he was convinced her friends had known.
“Do you remember Ellery Wallace?” she asked. “You met her in the park on the Fourth.”
“Yeah. I remember her.”
She drew in another deep breath. “It was hard, learning the truth. Especially from her. But after she left I realized that I could forgive Joe for what he’d done. And her too. I’m not even sure how it happened. I offered my bitterness to God, and I felt Him take it from me.”
“You’ve never seemed bitter.”
“I was. Trust me. It was all twisted up with my grief. But I became an expert at hiding things long before Joe and Angela died. I was an expert at hiding my emotions, my hurt, sometimes even my happiness.” She sighed. “I hid the truth from others and from myself. I tried to hide it from God too. But I don’t want to hide anything anymore.”
Ridley had never admired anyone as much as he admired Jessica Mason in that moment. However, he was beginning to question if this was the right time to share his own news. His excitement over the possibilities for the future might not be appropriate. She’d had a difficult afternoon, and he wanted to be sensitive to it. If he’d known when he first asked her out to dinner . . .
They arrived at the restaurant a short while later. Ridley pulled into a parking space and cut the engine. He glanced at Jessica, tenderness filling his chest. “Here we are.”
“Good.” She sent him a fleeting smile. “I’m hungry.”
It occurred to Jessica while they waited for their meals to be delivered—they both ordered the wild trout—that she felt an amazing lightness in her spirit. No, it was more than that. It was as if she’d opened a door to make room for life to enter again. She’d been opening that door, a little at a time, over the course of the summer, but today she’d thrown it wide.
After the server brought their salads, Ridley said a quick blessing, and they both began to eat. Jessica hadn’t lied when she’d told him she was hungry. She took several bites before she was ready to talk again. Or rather to listen.
“You were going to tell me why you went to Boise and what happened there.” She speared a cherry tomato with her fork.
“It can wait if you want.”
She sensed the reason for his reluctance, and she smiled gently, appreciating his thoughtfulness. “I’m good, Ridley. More than good. And I don’t want to wait to hear about whatever it is. Tell me. Please.”
“Well—” He moved the salad around on the plate. “Remember last week when I told you that my troubles with the media didn’t amount to much in comparison to what some people go through. You said you pitied them, whoever they were. Your reaction was what I needed to solidify an idea that had been trying to take hold in my mind. Something about what I wanted to do with my life from here on out. Something very different from what I used to do.”
His excitement had returned. She saw it in his eyes and heard it in the timbre of his voice. He explained how he’d like to help people who were in the midst of media storms like the one he’d gone through, no matter the reason for it. “I got to thinking, maybe I could create a place for people to escape for a time, the way I did when I came here. A place where they could find peace in the midst of the storm. A place where they could get sound counseling and
gain a bit of perspective. Maybe completely change the course of their lives. In a good way. And then I got to thinking, maybe that place could be here in Hope Springs. Kind of an appropriate name for the town, come to think of it.”
“That’s a lot of thinking,” she said. “Does that mean you plan to stay in Hope Springs?” Her heart fluttered as she asked the question, her own hope rising.
“Maybe. If it works out.” He grinned. “But I think it can be done. I’ve put my house in Boise on the market. There’s good equity in it, even after a Realtor gets a chunk of the sale, and I’ve got some savings too. Not enough, of course. I’ll need to find investors, but I’ve got a start on those too.”
“You did all of that in one day?”
“Not all of it. Having internet helped me get a head start.” He leaned forward. “There’s some property on the north end of the valley that I want to look at tomorrow. Will you come with me?”
She couldn’t have refused the invitation, even if she’d wanted to. And she didn’t want to. Knowing Ridley had helped to change her world, her attitude, her outlook. Had he been part of God’s plan to bring her out of her misery so that real healing could begin? So that she could find her way back to faith? So that she could reach a place of forgiveness? It seemed so to her. And now he was talking about staying in Hope Springs. Did she dare allow his plans to matter to her?
Smiling again, she answered, “Yes. I’ll go with you.”
“Ten o’clock too early?”
“No. Of course not.”
“Great.” His attention returned to his salad.
Jessica looked down, suddenly wondering if Ridley looked at her and saw only her or if he remembered there was another life inside of her. Even if he didn’t, she must.
KUNA, IDAHO
Thursday, October 24, 1935
Andrew had counted pennies for what seemed an eternity, but for tonight he refused to do so. This was his and Helen’s sixth wedding anniversary. When he considered all they’d been through, all that their marriage had survived, it seemed right they should celebrate in a special way.
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