She missed Asher beside her, but summoned up an image of him keeping guard in the sheriff’s office as she crawled into bed. While it had been obvious the sheriff was reluctant to take the dog, she had no doubt he would keep his word and care for Asher. Not as she would, but Asher would have food and protection from any who might wish to do him harm.
Carlyn moved uneasily in the narrow bed, sorry she had revealed to Sheriff Brodie so much of what had happened on the road. She had hoped to avoid saying anything about Curt’s attack, but he had asked so directly. Perhaps that was part of being a lawman. Getting to the truth. She wanted to forget what had happened. To block it from her mind. She had been rescued from the unthinkable, and here among the Shakers, she would be safe.
She had no reason to feel so bereft. Instead she should be on her knees thanking the Lord for supplying her with an answer whether she felt properly thankful or not.
Pray anyway. She was too tired. How many times had her mother refused to accept weariness as an excuse to skip her prayers? But her mother wasn’t standing over her now. Carlyn could do as she wished. At least until morning when she would be the same as indentured to the Shakers. With shaking hands, she pulled the woven cover up over her and sought the escape of sleep.
The bell began tolling the next morning at daylight. For a few minutes, Carlyn didn’t know where she was. She reached down to touch Asher, but when her hand felt only the floor, she came fully awake. The Shaker bell. She pushed back the cover and sat up to face her new life.
By the time Sister Muriel rapped softly on her door, Carlyn had on the Shaker dress. It was too large, but that didn’t matter with the apron tied around her waist. She struggled with the neckerchief, but at last got it pinned in place over her bosom. She wasn’t sure it looked right, for she could find no mirror in the room to check.
“Oh good,” Sister Muriel said when Carlyn opened the door. “You must have heard the rising bell.”
“Yes.” Carlyn stepped back to let Sister Muriel in the room. Only then did she notice another sister with her.
“Not yes. Yea,” the other woman said without a smile. “A Believer says yea.”
“Have patience, Sister Edna.” Sister Muriel put a hand on the other sister’s arm. “I have not instructed her in the proper speech of a Believer.”
“What instructions have you given her?” A frown wrinkled the other sister’s forehead.
Sister Muriel’s smile stiffened a little. “On how to rest her first night among us and the proper stairway for a sister to use.” But her smile came back full as she turned to Carlyn. “Sister Edna will be your instructor in the Shaker way. She has been a Believer for years and has ushered many young sisters into the Society.”
No smile touched Sister Edna’s face, so Carlyn stopped trying to force her own lips to turn up. The new sister did not have a gentle face. Deep lines cut into her face and the corners of her mouth bent downward, but that could be merely evidence of many years of living. She looked even older than Sister Muriel.
“I will do my best,” Carlyn said.
“We know you will,” Sister Muriel said. “Don’t we, Sister Edna?”
“Yea.” Sister Edna’s mouth spoke the agreement but her eyes showed little warmth.
“I’ll leave you then to be about my morning duties.” Sister Muriel touched Carlyn’s hand. “It is good here. There is much love to be shared.”
With a last gentle smile at Carlyn and a worried glance toward Sister Edna, Sister Muriel left them alone. Carlyn didn’t know why she was surprised at Sister Edna’s lack of smiles. She had been naïve to think all the sisters here would have the sweet spirits of Sister Muriel or Sister Annie. Hadn’t she noted Eldress Lilith’s solemnity? Just as there were diverse members in Carlyn’s church family, the same would be true here.
Besides, it was wrong to judge the kindness of Sister Edna’s spirit without knowing her better. Looks could be deceiving. Still, the sister’s first words after Sister Muriel left did sound a warning as clear as the Shaker bell.
“Sister Carlyn, it is good that you have left the wicked ways of the world to come among us. My duty will be to teach you the proper behavior of a Believer.” She leveled an unsmiling gaze on Carlyn. “I take my duties very seriously.”
“I am willing to work at whatever tasks are given me.” Carlyn could be meek. After all, she’d come begging to them.
“There is much more than work.”
“What more?”
“It is not good to have a questioning spirit.” A frown settled on Sister Edna’s face that got darker when Carlyn asked yet another question.
“How can I know what I should do without asking?”
“Answers will be given to you at the proper times. You merely have to ready your mind and spirit to receive them.”
Carlyn wanted to say she couldn’t ready her mind for the Shaker way without asking questions, but the look on Sister Edna’s face discouraged argument. So she said, “I will try.”
“Yea, and I will see that you do.” Sister Edna looked her up and down. “Your cap is crooked.” She reached over and tugged one corner of Carlyn’s cap down with a scowl. “You have a pretty face.”
Carlyn didn’t know whether to thank her or apologize. “The Lord gifts us with our looks.”
“Outer looks mean nothing and a face such as yours generally leads only to troubles. Inner beauty is what we strive for as Believers.”
“My father often said the same.”
“Did he?” Sister Edna adjusted Carlyn’s neckerchief. “A wise man then. Did you commit some grievous sin to make him turn you out of his house? Is that why you’ve come to us?”
It was on the tip of Carlyn’s tongue to tell Sister Edna that a questioning spirit wasn’t good, but she thought it prudent not to speak those words. Better to do whatever needed to be done to get along with the sister. “No. My husband hasn’t returned from the war and I had a debt on my house with no way to pay.”
“Ahh,” Sister Edna said. “And if your husband does return, will you be running back to the world?”
“He may not return.” The words tore a hole in her heart, but it was time she said them.
“Good. That will make it easier for you to overcome the sin of matrimony. We are all brothers and sisters here.”
“Why?” The question slipped out before Carlyn could stop it. She had felt nothing sinful about being married to Ambrose. Their love had been a blessing rained down on her by the Lord.
“In heaven there are no marriages, only children of God. We, here in Harmony Hill and at the other Believer villages across the country, have brought heaven down to us in order to live a perfect life and shut out worldly things.”
“Nobody can be perfect. For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.” Even her father had preached that. Carlyn wasn’t sure he believed it in regard to himself, but he certainly had not believed his children perfect, or his neighbors, the Shakers.
“So you are familiar with the Bible. A good guide to a sinless life.” Sister Edna gave an approving nod. “That should make it easier for you to accept the true way when such is shown to you. Those of the world often look but refuse to see.”
“Those of the world.” Carlyn dared another question. “Aren’t we all of the world?”
“Nay. Here in our Society of Believers, we have left the trappings of the world for a higher, nobler life. One where we put our hands to work for the Lord and give our hearts to God.”
“Hands to work.” Sister Muriel had said the same. “I can work.”
“And hearts to God.”
“I gave my heart to God many years ago,” Carlyn said.
“And now you will have a chance to do so properly with full confidence that you are living a godly life. Our testimony is for peace, now and always. We oppose wars of households, and wars of nations. All wars are the result of lusts for lands and for women.” The woman frowned at Carlyn. “And the lusts are often greater for women fair
of face. Our mother taught us the truth that those who marry will fight.”
“My husband and I didn’t fight.” Carlyn should have stayed silent.
Sister Edna let out an exaggerated sigh and turned toward the door. “Come, the day is wasting. The bell for the morning meal will sound soon and there are instructions for you to hear before eating.”
When Carlyn picked up the carpetbag, another frown darkened Sister Edna’s face. “You have no need of that now.”
“Then what shall I do with it?”
“Pitch it aside like so much trash.” Sister Edna made a dismissal gesture with her hands. “That’s all worldly trappings are to a Believer. Trash.”
“I have a Bible. That’s not trash.”
“Nay, the Bible is a book to be valued as are the books you will soon have the opportunity to read about our Mother Ann.”
“Mother Ann? Sister Muriel and Eldress Lilith spoke of her too. Who is she?”
“Deliver me from the ignorance of those from the world,” Sister Edna muttered as she led the way to the stairs. She stopped halfway down to turn back toward Carlyn with her frown firmly in place. “Those of the world refuse to see the truth that Mother Ann was the second coming of Christ. That the Christ spirit lived within her was proven over and over by visions given to her and by the miracles she performed.”
A faint memory of her father’s anger at the Shakers surfaced in Carlyn’s mind. He’d abhorred the very mention of Shakers and had railed against a woman named Ann Lee. Carlyn had paid little attention at the time, since it wasn’t unusual for her father to call down judgment on those he thought were straying into sinful paths.
Was that what she was doing now? Straying into a sinful path? She had been so sure the Shaker village was the answer the Lord had given her, but perhaps she was wrong. Perhaps even now she was on a treacherous road that would require vigilance to avoid the kind of condemnation her father had said would surely come upon those who chose the wide paths to destruction.
Sister Edna was staring at her, waiting for her to say something, but Carlyn knew nothing to say. She was here. She would stay. It was only Sister Edna’s unhappy attitude that made her doubt the answer she’d heard with the ringing of the Shaker bell.
The bell began to ring again, causing Sister Edna to look even more distressed. “Come. Follow without lagging and listen without questions. I do not want to miss breakfast.”
She turned and swept down the winding stairway with sure tread. Carlyn grabbed the railing and hurried after her. She kept her eyes on Sister Edna’s back and didn’t look down at the floor below. Prayers and silence, Sister Edna was telling her. Both of those Carlyn could handle. She was to sit when the rest of the sisters sat. Stand when they stood. Pray when they prayed. Eat when they ate.
“You must Shaker your plate. Eat whatever you dip out. Waste is sinful.” Sister Edna instructed Carlyn as they rushed along the walkway to another brick house.
By the time they entered the dining area, Carlyn was glad for the silence.
11
Sister Muriel was waiting for her after the morning meal. “Elder Derron wants to speak to Sister Carlyn,” she told Sister Edna. “When he has determined the information he needs, I’ll return our new sister to your care. Will you be in the garden today?”
“Yea, the butterbean seeds are ready,” Sister Edna said.
A ripple of relief went through Carlyn. She liked garden work, but even if they told her to wash dishes or scrub floors, she would not complain. That she could also do.
“Don’t dawdle on your return, Sister Carlyn,” Sister Edna said.
“Yes, ma’am,” Carlyn said.
“Yea.” Impatience was plainly evident in Sister Edna’s voice. “Remember you are striving to become a Believer now.”
“Yea.” The word sat oddly on her tongue, but she could get used to that. Yea. Yes. The words were little different, and if it put Sister Edna in a better humor, that would be good.
Sister Muriel waited until they were out of earshot. “Sister Edna does fervently desire our converts to embrace being a Believer as quickly as possible. That explains her impatience at times.”
Carlyn wasn’t sure who Sister Muriel was trying to convince most. Herself or Carlyn. Either way, Carlyn had no answer. She was stuck with the nettlesome Sister Edna, but she had not come to the Shaker village to be happy. She had come for a roof over her head and to be safe from Curt Whitlow. If that meant saying yea and working to please Sister Edna, so be it.
Sister Muriel led the way back to the building where Carlyn had spent the night. As they stepped inside, Sister Muriel told her about the elder she would be meeting. “While we keep the world from our village, we do, of a necessity, have business dealings with those outside our village. The Ministry chooses brethren who are trustworthy and industrious to oversee such matters. Elder Derron has the burden of such duty.”
“Why does he want to talk to me?” Carlyn asked.
“It is customary whenever one joins our Society for that person to turn over any property for the good of the community at large.”
“But I have little of worth. I lost my house for lack of ability to pay what I owed on it.”
“We will see, my sister. Don’t fret over things. Keep your spirit true and the other matters will be easily handled.”
Carlyn bent her head and did not answer. How easy it was to read that verse in the Bible about taking no thought for the morrow. Sufficient are the evils of the day. But how could one not worry about evils to come on the day at hand or the morrow? Blessings. She needed to look for the blessings.
When they entered Elder Derron’s office, he continued writing in the account book on his desk a moment before he carefully positioned his pen on a blotter and turned to greet them. He did not smile. “Come sit down, Sisters, so that we can determine what must be done.”
He motioned toward the chairs hanging on the wall. When Sister Muriel took down one of the chairs, Carlyn did the same. She wanted to ask why the chairs were hung on the railing, but she feared Elder Derron might have the same dislike of questions as Sister Edna. He did appear to favor silence, since he let several moments pass without speaking even after she and Sister Muriel settled into their chairs. Sister Muriel seemed unbothered by the lack of words as she folded her hands in her lap and waited.
The elder’s steady gaze made Carlyn want to shift uneasily in her chair, but instead she sat very still. He looked to be in his middle years, with few lines on his solemn face to reveal fondness for either smiling or frowning. He wore a white cotton shirt with suspenders to hold up his dark trousers, his outfit no different from that of the other Shaker brothers she’d seen. While he was not a large man, he had a sturdy look. Yet he seemed to fit at the desk, ready to handle whatever business concerns came his way.
His eyes narrowed a bit as though trying to determine what her looks might reveal about her. She wondered if she might yet be turned away in spite of Sister Muriel’s assurance that no sister in need was ever refused a place in their society.
She was relieved when at last he spoke. “Sister Muriel tells me you seek to live among us.”
“Yes.” Carlyn remembered Sister Edna’s yea too late, but the elder didn’t seem bothered by her lapse.
“Here in our Society, all things are held in common with no individual ownership. The needs of all are met and each member contributes to the whole. So new converts are asked to give over their property when they join with us.”
“I brought little with me. My mother’s Bible and a few baubles. Nothing of worth except to me.”
The shadow of a frown chased across his face. “One should not put worth in things, my sister. Only in deeds and actions.”
“Yea.” This time Carlyn remembered the Shaker yes.
“Why have you come among us?”
“I told Sister Muriel.”
“Now you must tell me.” His voice was insistent, a man accustomed to being obeyed. “Things spoke
n directly into our ears are better understood.”
“Very well.” Carlyn clasped her hands in her lap. “My husband bought a house before the war and we were paying for it by the year. We lacked four payments when he joined the army.”
“On which side did his sympathies lie?”
“He fought for the Union.”
“Did he give his life for the Northern cause?” The man studied Carlyn’s face as though probing for answers beyond those she was speaking.
“The army says Ambrose, my husband, is missing. His fate is unknown.” Carlyn forced out the words. Perhaps it was good she had to say them so often in the last few days. She needed to look straight at the truth and accept it.
“According to the news reports, many are reported such. War is a grievous affair and one all men should abhor, as we do here at Harmony Hill.” His expression didn’t change as he ran his hands up and down his thighs.
Silence fell over the room again. Carlyn didn’t know whether to speak or not. She peeked over at Sister Muriel, serenely waiting for the elder’s next words.
Then, as if he’d just remembered her name, he said, “Ambrose? Ambrose Kearney was your husband in the world?”
“Yes.” She forgot the Shaker yea again in her eagerness. “You knew him?”
“Yea. A fine young man. I once thought to convince him to join our number here, but he was not ready to give up worldly pleasures.” The elder stared at her as though realizing she might be the worldly reason Ambrose had not become a Shaker. “Is not your house the one a few miles down the road from here?”
“It is.” Carlyn looked down at her hands. “Or it was.”
“I see.” The elder tapped his fingers on the edge of his desk. “And whom did you owe on the house?”
“Curt Whitlow.”
The elder’s fingers stilled in the air above the desk for a moment. “Ah, Mr. Whitlow.” If his face had seemed devoid of expression before, now it was even more so as he spread his hand flat on the desk. “Have you given over the house to him already?”
The Innocent Page 9