She found the bride and groom in a cluster of family and friends, who were also giving their best wishes and saying goodbye.
When the bride saw her, she cut through the crowd and gave Aimee a big hug.
“I am so happy you came. Thank you for being part of our special day.”
“It was absolutely enchanting. Please tell your parents for me I think it was the most beautiful wedding. And the reception? Well, it’s just over the top. Completely over-the-top. Thank you for the invite. We had a good time.”
They hugged one more time, Aimee said goodbye, and she nodded toward the group and then left. It was an awkward exit. The room suddenly felt oppressive, like a gauntlet or a walk of shame. She worried she’d burst out in tears before she reached the exit. The most ridiculous thing about it was that she had no idea what her tears were being shed for. She was just nervous, feeling things were about to spin out of control.
Finally, the cool evening air bathed over her face, and she took a deep breath, pausing to clear her head and face whatever was coming next.
The boys were leaning against the Jeep and, when they saw her, instantly sprang into action. Andy went around to the driver side, while Cory opened the front door for her. She struggled again to get up in the seat, and with Cory’s assistance, she managed to do so without tearing her dress.
Cory pulled her seat belt around her and hooked it in place. Her nerves started to rattle when he didn’t give her a kiss to her cheek or say anything at all. Andy gripped the steering wheel like it was a lifeline. She turned to say something to Cory, but found herself staring at the glass of the door’s window. She heard Cory climb in behind her. Andy turned the key, and they took off.
Several minutes passed in silence. The longer things were quiet, the more fear began to constrict her breathing. She opened the window a crack to get some air. She was getting impatient.
“You want some heat or air?” Andy offered.
She saw some friendship there in his eyes before he expertly masked it.
“I’m okay. But I don’t want to do this, sit here like this. Are we going to talk now or…”
“Not here.” Cory’s statement shook her.
“Maybe you could fix us some coffee at your place?” Andy said calmly. “That’s what he means.” He chanced a quick glance in his rear view mirror at Cory but then steadied his eyes on the road.
So this is how it is.
It wasn’t fair, but she was going to have to wait nearly an hour before she knew anything at all. She mustered the courage to speak out again.
“I’m sorry, but this is just too weird. What happened? Can you prepare me for what you want to talk about?” she pleaded with Andy.
“Aimee, I really think it’s better if the three of us sit down at your place. We have some things to iron out.” Andy spoke these words without taking his eyes off the road.
“Fine.” Aimee adjusted her seat and then straightened her skirts. She suddenly remembered that her mother used to do that all the time, especially if she was angry or annoyed.
She could do this, whatever it was.
Aimee suddenly awoke, startled that she fell asleep. The car had stopped, parked in her driveway. She didn’t wait for Cory, struggling but successfully extricating herself from the passenger seat. Grabbing her purse and scarf, she led the delegation to her front door.
Her eyes began to water, and her fingers shook, making it difficult to find her key. At last, she located it and let herself in. The two men closed the door behind them.
Her feet were sore.
“I have to get these shoes off. Help yourself to anything in the refrigerator. I’ll be right out.”
Sitting on her bed, she removed the jeweled sandals and rubbed her toes, noticing she had several blisters. In her bare feet, she made it back to the kitchen to make some coffee.
Andy and Cory had been whispering but quickly parted when she appeared. Cory had removed his jacket, but Andy kept his on.
“Anything else other than coffee?” she asked.
Andy shook his head no.
“No, thanks, Aimee,” said Cory.
She got three mugs down from the upper cabinet, poured half-and-half into two of them, and then poured coffee into all three. She gathered everything together, joining the men in her cozy living room, and placed the mugs on her coffee table.
“I made yours black, Cory.”
“Perfect.”
Andy reached forward and thanked her for his mug while Aimee sat back, crossed her legs and waited. The warm coffee tasted heavenly.
Cory and Andy shared a look, and then Cory began. He turned to face her.
“So, Aimee, I’ve got some things I need to tell you.”
“I’m all ears, Cory.” She didn’t like the way it came out but didn’t feel like apologizing.
“I’ve not been completely honest with you.”
Aimee inhaled and waited for it, whatever it was. She already knew she wasn’t going to like it. But her goal was to get through the evening without bursting into tears. She was hoping she was overreacting.
“Okay. Let’s get this over with,” Aimee whispered.
“Andy brought some things to my attention, and I thank him for that,” Cory said tentatively.
Aimee sent a frozen glare at Andy, her impatience flooding her mood.
“Look, Cory. Let’s just get this over with, whatever it is. Have I done something wrong? Have I misread something? Did I offend either of you?”
Both men were quick to answer no.
Cory continued. “I received word that I was accepted to a program, a burn specialty course in Texas. I had applied for this before you and I met. And I didn’t tell you that I’ve been in negotiations with them over the past few days.”
“Well, isn’t that good news? More training is good, right?” She was seeking some ray of hope, first from Cory and then Andy, but got none.
She was confused why there was so much sadness and regret in Cory’s communication.
“Yes. It is good news. I was worried about my position on the Teams. I think you knew that.”
Aimee nodded.
“But there’s more. I’ve been hiding some things from you, Aimee, and I’ve been thinking that I should get some help with my alcohol and drug use.”
She was beginning to sense the problem ahead of her.
“So that one bottle I found wasn’t the only one, then? What you’re saying is you’ve been taking painkillers, is that it?”
“Yes. And some other things too. I’ve been having trouble sleeping. And I’ve not been—”
Aimee could see he was struggling with his words.
“Just say it, dammit.” Aimee was starved for the facts of his situation.
“I’ve also been seeing other women.”
“What?” She stood. She wanted to throw her mug of coffee at him. She backed up from the table, suddenly not wanting to be around either man. “You son of a bitch. When did this start?”
Cory remained seated, his body posture was completely deflated. Aimee could also tell that Andy wished he could be anywhere else but in this room.
“It isn’t about when it started, Aimee. It never stopped. That’s the truth of it. It’s part of my addiction. They didn’t mean anything, I swear. I just wanted to start telling you the truth. Telling everyone the truth of what I’ve become. I’d like to earn back your trust and love some day.”
Aimee had heard her fill and wanted the words to stop. Her firewall came up to shield her, as it always did. Suddenly, there was no place to hide, no protection except behind that wall. What she’d thought was her world was in fact an illusion. She had to get to safer ground, and fast.
“I want you both out of this house immediately. I want you to go away and leave me alone. I don’t want to see you guys—either of you.”
She knew it was not what she’d intended to say, but she wanted the conversation to stop until she could hear it. Right now, it was too much to think about
.
“Aimee,” Andy interceded. “What Cory is trying to tell you is that he’s sorry. And he’s asking for your understanding and your help. He’s going to need all of our help, if he gets clean. I know he loves you.”
Andy’s eyes were arched, his forehead lined with worry as she looked down on him seated before her. But it was not inside her to forgive anything right now. Her stomach was churned. Her brain was shouting, scolding her for being such a fool. Once more everything she thought was good about her world was gone. And the worst thing about it was she didn’t know if it ever had been real. How could she trust her judgement going forward? What was important right now was not to show weakness for the sake of her own pride. She wouldn’t let them have that satisfaction.
“Well, thank you for the information.” She allowed herself to enjoy the ice water in her veins and drew courage from it, pacing back and forth in front of them. “It’s impossible for me to understand how you could think any of this would be okay with me. I feel used, taken advantage of. And Andy, apparently you knew about all this, and didn’t tell me, which means you were in on it all along.”
“I didn’t know all of it, Aimee, I swear.”
“You’re asking me to believe that?”
“I understand. I’d probably feel the same way. But there were two paths and only one leads to getting healthy. Keeping secrets is the unhealthy path.”
She wanted to slap him for not being honest earlier, for not giving her warning. She’d bought into the old Boy’s Club routine she’d heard about with the Teams because she thought she could trust them. She was angry that she’d allowed herself to feel attraction for him, for perhaps playing into their little scheme. Was Andy the substitute? Was that the plan between them? Was that why he came out to Florida? She was filled with conspiracy theories running fast and loose through her head.
So, it all came down to trust. She didn’t even trust herself, her feelings, or her judgment now.
“Andy’s right. This is all on me, Aimee,” said Cory.
“That’s all right,” she interrupted. “I think I’ve heard enough. I’d like to be alone now.” She adjusted her tone’s volume down, softening her request. “Please.”
Cory stood, approaching her with his arms open, ready to embrace her one last time. She moved to the side.
“Don’t touch me. You have got some nerve!”
“Aimee, please believe me. I am so very sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I hope some day you’ll believe me, honey. It’s my fault. I let things get out of control and I hurt the one person I cared about the most. I lost my nerve, and I lost my way. I’m going to work hard to get my honor back. I’m hoping that going to Texas will help me do that. I need to get well. This is not fair to you. I’m sorry.”
“You’re damned right it’s not fair. But I’m done with this.” Aimee walked to her front door and opened it. “I’m completely done. I have nothing more I need to hear, and I don’t want to tell you all the things I’m feeling right now, because you don’t deserve it, you asshole.”
Cory grabbed his jacket in anger and was out the front door in seconds. Andy lingered in the doorway for a minute.
“I’m sorry, Aimee, for my part in all this. I completely understand how you might feel I’m responsible for this, and I am but not in the way you’re thinking. I want you to know that you didn’t cause this. You deserve so much more.”
He was going to continue, but Aimee stopped him. “No, Andy. Maybe it isn’t your fault, but this is something you can’t fix. I’m angry because I think you’re the reason he’s leveled with me. I should thank you for it, but right now I’m angry as hell. Please don’t disrespect me by trying to take that away from me, okay? I don’t need fixing.”
“I understand, really I do. Call me if you want to talk.”
“Are you nuts, Andy? Get out of my sight!”
With that, he turned and headed back to the Jeep. She watched them drive away then slammed the door, picked up the three partially consumed mugs on the coffee table, and placed them carefully in the kitchen sink, overruling the urge to smash them on the ground, or throw them at Andy’s Jeep.
She was going to take a shower and go to bed but then remembered her little routine. These routines were going to be very important now until she could get to the space where she could fully accept what just happened. She was going to go through the motions of being alive, taking time for her runs, and enjoying the sunsets at the beach.
The beach heals everything.
She was counting on that big time.
Aimee did one more check of the windows and doors, making sure she was as safe as she could be. She checked her father’s .38 in her bedside table, confirming that it was still loaded. She unzipped the side zipper on her skirt, unhooked the bodice of her top and carefully hung them on their special padded satin hanger in her closet. She’d loved wearing the dress, and that was real. She vowed that, someday, she would feel like wearing these beautiful things again.
She removed her under clothes and her pearls, turned on the shower, and stepped inside. After the warm spray hit her face, she allowed herself to finally cry.
The worst was over. Now she had to think about pulling her life back together, frame by frame. Memories of their happy times only solidified her resolve that what had been going on from her side was real.
And she was never going to let someone like Cory hurt her ever again.
Chapter 11
Andy was determined to pack his bags and take off for a motel, flying home as soon as he could arrange it. At least, that was the plan he’d devised as he drove them both back to Cory’s.
But he worried about leaving Cory alone and didn’t trust that Cory would be safe. If his friend had been on one of his California Teams, he knew there were a couple of people he could call. But he didn’t know anybody on Team 4 or any of the liaisons. He considered calling his LPO, Kyle Lansdowne, to get some advice. The one thing he was most concerned about was setting into motion something that would interfere with Cory’s future.
Of course, Cory had done a pretty damn good job of screwing that up himself. Andy didn’t like secrets and thought there was a possibility Cory could be a danger to himself. He would never forgive himself if that happened.
He followed Cory inside the house, hoping they could air out some of the bad blood he knew existed between them. Andy didn’t want to leave with things raw and bloody between them. He also wondered how many of the promises he’d made Aimee that Cory really intended to keep. He had to find that out first.
Cory collapsed into the couch.
“So what do you think of your fucking good idea now, Andy?”
Cory’s bitterness infused the room with tension. And he knew it was a dangerous sign. His conscience was telling him he needed to call the cops or take him somewhere.
“I’m not happy with how it went. You know that. But I understand how she feels. Cory, you know it was gonna happen anyway. I think if you get yourself…”
“I’m not listening to you anymore. I want to get my shit together and take off, get out of this fuckin’ place.”
“How about we’ll talk about it tomorrow. But right now…”
Cory jumped to his feet and began to pace the room in front of him, then abruptly stopped. “Do you want to stay here? You go right ahead. I’ve got the place paid up for another few weeks. You should take it. You go live my life. Go take my girl, too, while you’re at it.”
“It’s not like that, Cory. Don’t you see that you caused this?”
“I know you’re right,” Cory walked up to stand a foot away from Andy’s body. It was a dangerous and reckless move. “I just don’t fucking wanna hear it anymore.”
“Maybe I should stay here tonight and make sure you’re settled. Or, I also could call somebody and let you be somebody else’s problem. Get law enforcement involved? Not sure that would be a good idea, but if I have to, I will. But I don’t know who to call. I’m fresh out of ideas. So you
tell me, should I call the cops? Should I call your LPO? Is there somebody else I should call?”
He didn’t back up but stood his ground, waiting for Cory to back down. He wanted to see if he could do it, to show him that he had some kind of control over his behavior. He added more ammunition.
“The way I see it, Cory, is that you’re not thinking straight. You’ve gotten your head screwed up and you’re not thinking like yourself anymore. I wouldn’t trust any decision of yours right now, and most certainly not tonight.”
Cory moved away slowly and turned, looking out the window to the water beyond.
Andy added. “It’s stress, man. You had a shitty deployment, and that could happen any time to any of us. And it does. But you can think about all that tomorrow when you’ve gotten some rest.”
Andy was rewarded with a sneer followed by a glance to the refrigerator, and he knew Cory considered getting a beer. He vowed to stop him if he had to.
Cory ripped off his jacket and threw it on the ground. “God dammit.”
“You got to get out of your fucking head man. Whatever you’re thinking, it’s fantasyland. We’ll get real tomorrow. Tonight you go straight to bed.
Cory sat on the couch and slumped over his knees. “Everybody I know is at Little Creek. I start calling up there and I won’t have a career.”
“Maybe you don’t have one now. You gotta do what’s right for you. And I’m worried about you. We do it one bite at a time. I’ll stay over tonight to make sure you’re in bed and safe.”
Cory looked up at Andy, tears streaming from his eyes. “I don’t have anybody.”
Andy took a seat across from his best friend. He tried to think of anyone he’d run across who had found themselves in this position. He knew about a couple of guys who had gotten jacked for selling equipment and guns, trying to make a little extra money on the side. It was a horrible violation of everything they stood for. The Navy had taken swift justice on those men, including jail time. A few of the regulars who knew about it were also busted for not informing the Navy.
But this was different. And he knew he had an obligation to make sure that a damaged and wounded soldier somehow didn’t get put back on a Team where he could cause himself or others harm from the mental distraction. But Andy was just out of resources.
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