I dressed in a pair of black slacks and a soft white blouse, then headed downstairs. The sound of voices led me through a maze of rooms to a stone veranda along the side of the house. Miles was sitting with a tall woman with white hair, a man with a well-trimmed beard, and Lila. Lila spotted me first and stood, a welcoming smile relieving some of the tension in my shoulders.
“Good morning, Riley,” she said, offering a quick hug. “Glad you found us. I’ve told my mother many times that we should provide guests with a map of the place, but she refuses.”
“It’s not necessary with the number of staff we have lurking these hallways,” the white-haired woman said with a good natured smile.
Miles watched as Lila pulled me to the table, gesturing for me to take a seat beside her. “This is my husband, Keegan, and my mother, Elena.”
Keegan rose partially out of his chair and offered me something of a bow. And Elena inclined her head slightly, her eyes—like Jonathon’s the day before—full of curiosity.
“It’s nice to meet you, Riley. I’d like to say that my son here has told us a lot about you, but he really hasn’t.”
“He’s a private man,” I said, trying to ignore the way he was staring me down at that moment.”
“That he is,” Elena agreed. “Always kept his thoughts to himself. With the exception of Lila here, of course. The two of you were always thick as thieves.”
“I thought we still were,” Lila said. “But then I had to hear from the tabloid press about his upcoming nuptials, so maybe we’re not as close as we were.”
“I wouldn’t say that,” Miles said. “It was just…”
“…a whirlwind romance,” I said. “Neither of us really had a chance to share the news with anyone.”
“If only we could all be so spontaneous,” Elena said.
“Your aunts seemed pretty supportive,” Lila said.
“Yes. They’ve always only wanted me to be happy.”
“What about your parents?” Elena asked. “How do they feel about all this?”
“Mother,” Miles began, but I cut him off.
“My parents died when I was five.”
“Oh,” Elena said, a cloud moving over her pretty features. I could see where Miles and Lila, even Robert, got their good looks. Their mother was very beautiful. And those green eyes were the same shade as Miles’; they even had the same emotions dancing in them so clearly that anyone could see what she was thinking. Even I could see that she was hurt and saddened. By Miles decision to marry without her, I would assume. And she seemed to understand that I could see that because her expression softened a little when she caught me looking at her.
A heaviness settled over the table for a minute that was only broken when a maid brought a tray of pastries to the table.
“Help yourself,” Elena said, addressing the table in general but looking at me. “Our cook is an amazing baker.”
I picked up a cinnamon roll and tried to catch myself before a loud sigh slipped from my lips with the first bite. It was heavenly. When I looked up, Miles was watching me, a rare smile softening his expression.
Conversation took a turn I couldn’t quite follow. They were talking about business, it seemed. I caught that Keegan was some sort of executive with their family finance company, but that’s all I really pieced together. After a while, Elena caught my eye and said, “Have you had enough of this yet?”
I didn’t know what to say. She stood and came around the table, taking my arm as she tugged me out of my seat. “Let’s go walk those delicious pastries off.”
“Mother, are you sure you should—”
She waved a hand at Miles. “I want to get to know your young wife, Miles. Let us be, will you?”
I glanced back at him, as she led the way into the garden. He looked deeply concerned, but so did Lila and Keegan as they watched us. What was it they were so worried about? Surely they didn’t think I would say something to upset her, did they? I may have been a wife of convenience, but I wasn’t a complete idiot. I knew how to be polite.
The garden was terraced, not unlike the much smaller version in the backyard of the house I currently shared with Miles. We made our way down the first level, stepping into the second and its wild abandon of native plants. Cranberries and azaleas, honeysuckle and Mountain Laurels filled this space, the vibrant colors awe inspiring, even this late in the summer. I reached out to touch the petals of a marigold, causing Elena to chuckle softly under her breath.
“Ironic that my son should marry the only person to appreciate this garden almost as much as myself.”
“Why is that ironic?”
“Because I could never get him out here when he was a child. He said it was boring to pick weeds and plant new seedlings.”
I thought about the half-completed garden back in Texas, and I could see that. As much as he wanted to emulate what his mother had done here, he’d lost interest somewhere along the way. And that suggested a complicated relationship with his mother. And it made me want to get to know her all that much better.
“He cares a great deal for you.”
I glanced at her. “You think so?”
“The way his face lights up when he talks of you tells me so much more than anything he might have said over the phone would have.”
I tried to imagine Miles’ face lighting up, but couldn’t quite get there. “He’s complicated.”
“He is. He hasn’t exactly had it easy. His father was always much too hard on him.”
“I suppose that’s something father’s do.”
“It is. But Jackson was always harder on Miles than either Robert or Lila. And that took a toll.” She squeezed my arm a little as she slowed the pace. “Lila is the eldest, but Miles was the first son. Jackson thought he was preparing the boy to take over his business as his father had failed to do with him. But what he was really doing was pushing him away.”
I remembered Miles’ comment about how he went to law school but never took the bar because it was what his father wanted. The more I heard about Mr. Thorn, the more I was interested in meeting this man who could bring out that rebellious streak in Miles.
“It breaks my heart when I think about it.”
Elena’s voice seemed to be growing weaker with every step we took, and our pace had slowed quite significantly since we stepped onto the lower terrace. I had thought she’d slowed to enjoy the flowers, but now she was dragging on my arm so hard that it was obvious the movement was just too much for her. I saw a stone bench a few feet away, so I carefully directed her there.
“Thank you,” she said softly as she settled down, sliding over a little to make room for me.
“What is it?”
“Ovarian cancer.”
I’d expected her to say something like an infection or anemia or something innocuous that wasn’t life threatening. But she said cancer like it was innocuous, like it didn’t really matter.
I was at a completely loss for words. All I could say was, “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be,” she said, touching my knee lightly. “It’s been a long battle that I’m glad Miles wasn’t here to watch. But I’m content with my situation now.”
I wondered if this was why we were here, why I was here. Had Miles known his mother was ill when he asked me to marry him? Was this part of the reason why he needed a wife so quickly? Was it something to do with appeasing his mother, of showing her that he was settling down and had found contentment in his life? Or was there more to it, something a little more nefarious than that? Was he after some sort of inheritance, or something?
I hated to have such dark thoughts about Miles. But, really, what did I know about him?
“All three of my children are settled down now,” she said somewhat breathlessly. “My husband is mellower. Perhaps he’ll make it easier for Miles to accept his apology and come home. This whole construction thing is just a rebellion, his way of showing his father he can do well on his own. Now that he has done that, perhaps they c
an put things to rest and return to the way things should have been.”
“What is that?”
Elena shrugged. “Miles was always supposed to learn the business at his father’s side and then become the CEO one day. He went to law school to help him become a better business man, and to open the door to politics if he ever wanted to go in that direction. But then this whole mess began when Claire walked into his life, and then the whole fiasco with Robert…” Elena shook her head. “I can’t blame Miles for leaving. Who would want to see your future unfolding for someone else? At least he found something better than what that girl brought to the table.”
What would she think if she knew the truth? But the picture she was painting was a sad one; it made me see Miles in a new light. Maybe he wasn’t such a bad guy, after all.
Elena squeeze my knee. “I think I’d like to go up and lie down now. Would you help me back to the house?”
“Of course.”
Chapter 8
There was a party that night. I didn’t realize it until Lila mentioned something about it halfway through lunch. Not only was there to be a party, but apparently, Miles and I were the guests of honor.
I dressed slowly, more conscious of my humble upbringing in those moments than I ever had been before. I couldn’t get Elena out of my thoughts, how gracious and beautiful she was even as she fought a fatal illness. And Lila. She was funny and sensitive and kind, her eyes often moving over Miles’ face as we lounged together over lunch. She was clearly worried about him, and I felt as though she was looking to me for some sort of sign that he was okay, but I didn’t know how to give her that. I barely knew this man I called my husband, and what I did know, I’d learned just that morning from his mother. How was I supposed to reassure her when I didn’t even know what it was she was worried about in the first place?
I heard the bedroom door open, and I stood, glancing in the mirror one last time before I stepped out of the bathroom. Miles was sitting on the edge of the loveseat, sliding his tennis shoes off as I came into the room. I must have made a sound because he looked up and that expressionless mask he wore most of the time slipped slightly, showing something like interest, as his took in the mermaid-style gown I was wearing.
“Lila said it was black tie, and this is all I brought that’s really formal.”
He cleared his throat, as his attention turned back to his shoes. “You look fine.”
“Are there going to be a lot of people at this party?”
“My parents don’t have a party without inviting the entire who’s who list from Boston. It will be quite a crowd.”
That idea made my heart jump into my throat. I turned away and nearly tripped over the hem of my dress, as I made my way back to the bathroom. I barely caught myself on the door jamb. And then Miles was there, his hands snaking around my waist.
“Sorry,” he said against my ear, “I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“No, I just…that’s a lot of strangers to meet in one night.”
“You’ll be fine. Just stay by my side.”
I nodded, leaning into him for a second. Why did it feel so good to be in his arms? Why did feel so perfect? It was like his body was made for mine. Or maybe it was mine that’d been made for his. Either way, we seemed to fit together like two puzzle pieces that had been separated for far too long. I felt it every time we touched, like my body was crying out for that connection, that completion.
It was stupid, really. He wasn’t mine. He never would be.
I pulled away and slipped into the bathroom, avoiding my reflection in the mirror.
We walked into the sitting room, hand-in-hand, forty minutes later. The room was already filled from wall to wall, even though the official start to the party was only fifteen minutes before our arrival. Miles squeezed my hand as though saying, Here we go. We moved into the room, and we were quickly surrounded, names being thrown around like popcorn at a viewing of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. I tried to keep up and tried to remember each name, but it was nearly impossible. Whenever I was forced to speak to someone directly and couldn’t remember their name, Miles was kind enough to whisper it in my ear. That was the only way I could get through it.
Champagne was flowing from a small fountain on the veranda, and waiters and waitresses were filling glasses and passing them out by the hundreds. I had a few, I’m not ashamed to admit. I needed something to keep my nerves under control. The only time I felt completely at ease was the brief moment as we stepped onto the veranda and the band began playing Sinatra’s “The Way You Look Tonight”. Miles pulled me into his arm and moved into an impromptu spin, making me laugh as he dropped me into a quick dip. He laughed, too, and the beauty of that made something inside of me melt away. But then he lifted me up, and I saw Claire Watson—Thorn, now, I supposed—walk into the sitting room on the arm of a man who could be Miles’ twin.
Miles saw my expression change, and he glanced over his shoulder, tension rushing through his body so quickly that he might have broken my fingers if he hadn’t dropped my hand in that same instant.
He turned and rushed toward the approaching couple, a darkness like nothing I’d ever seen before washing over his face.
“Miles,” I said, grabbing at his tuxedo jacket.
He didn’t pause; he didn’t even seem to hear me. I searched the room for Lila, a little relieved to see that she was headed in our direction, too, honest fear written in her movements. I reached for Miles again, managing to grab the back of his jacket as he came face to face with his brother.
“You have a lot of nerve showing up here.”
“This is my home, too, if you’ll recall.”
Miles glared at his brother. “This party is for me, for my wife. You shouldn’t be here.”
“Maybe I just came to wish you congrats, big brother,” he said, a snide tone to his voice as his eyes shifted and landed on me. “And this must be the blushing bride.”
Without looking at me, Miles slid his arm across my waist and pulled me back behind him. “Don’t look at her,” he said. “Don’t even look at her.”
Robert’s eyebrows rose. He began to speak, but Claire moved up beside him, efficiently sliding between the two men.
“Let’s go say hello to you mother, darling,” she said in a high-pitched voice that was nothing like the confident tones Lisa and I had imagined she had.
“That sounds like a good idea,” Lila said, sliding up beside Miles. “She’s out on the veranda.”
Robert looked from his sister to his brother, a defiant light burning in his eyes. “I guess we can finish this later, brother.”
“It is finished.”
Robert slid his arm around Claire’s waist and moved away. Claire looked back, as I moved around Miles, sliding my hand into his. There was something in her expression that was almost sad. It almost made me feel somewhat sorry for her, but then they disappeared out the back doors.
“Don’t let him get you all worked up,” Lila said to Miles while shooting me a look that said, Keep him out of trouble.
“Why is he here?”
“Mother invited him. She was hoping everyone could make amends now that things have changed.”
“Nothing has changed,” Miles said.
Lila’s eyebrows rose slightly as she looked pointedly at me. Miles looked at me, too, a little guiltily. After a second’s hesitation, he tugged me closer to him and said, “Come on.”
We went back out onto the veranda, and he led the way to the small space that had been cleared to act as a dance floor. He pulled me into his arms and held me gently in his arms, moving slowly to a song I didn’t recognize, but whose melody I would likely never forget. It was the music to which my husband truly held me for the first time. We moved slowly, not really moving at all, but swaying as we held each other the way newlyweds often do. I could feel his heart pounding against my chest, could feel his pulse under my thumb as I pressed my hand to his throat. His scent washed over me, filling my every pore, becom
ing a part of who I was in that moment. It was the first time I truly felt like a bride, like I belonged to someone, that I was a part of something bigger than myself.
It was a natural extension of the moment for him to lift my chin with a finger on my jaw, for his lips to seek mine. It was familiar, the taste of him, as he pressed his lips to mine. I sighed—I couldn’t help myself—and moved closer to him, wanting to be closer. How he could go from anger to this so quickly. I wasn’t sure, but it was a dream, less bizarre than the moment of our vows, but surreal just the same. I was floating, dancing on a cloud, no longer aware of the sea of humanity surrounding us. None of it really mattered anymore.
It felt like a new beginning. My heart began to open, and I felt myself falling. I thought it was safe…I should have known better.
Two months later, he would hand me divorce papers and inform me that my obligation to him had been fulfilled. He would bring me out to a new car he bought for me—out of guilt?—and send me on my way with a list of potential employers I should call. It was like being unceremoniously fired from a beloved job. In reality, it felt like he’d cut me off at my knees, made love to me the night before and tossed me away the next morning, like a regretted one-night stand.
It was not one of my best moments.
Yet, that moment on the dance floor was one to hold on to.
I still hold on to it.
Chapter 9
Is it insane that I still cling to that moment all these months later?
KIRKLAND: A Standalone Romance (Gray Wolf Security) Page 63