by Reni Huang
Turning on her laptop, she used the dim light flooding from the screen to read the date scrawled at the top of the first entry. It was going to take some organizing to put the journals into chronological order.
The summer before her freshmen year in high school seemed like a good place to start. She could always go back later and type in the earlier years. Propping up the journal, she began clicking away on the computer keys, the words rhythmically transporting her back to another time and place.
They were fourteen and excited about attending the high school camp for the first time. Lexi was convinced someone had raided their cabin. It wasn’t until the next afternoon that a group of upperclassman boys strutted into the cafeteria right before lunch began, all dressed in super tight tank tops. The room erupted in roars of laughter. But Julia had been upset because one of the guys was stretching out her brand new Aeropostale halter top that she had yet to even wear.
It wasn’t until she was standing in line to clear her plate after the meal that the boy had approached her.
“Sorry about ruining your shirt,” he had said. There was mischief in his eyes despite his regretful demeanor. “I promise I’ll buy you a new one.”
He was beautiful and confident. She had instantly felt self-conscious under his gaze. Caught off guard and feeling shy, she had stood mutely in front of him until he smiled and leaned forward.
“By the way, I’m Craig Wu.”
Rubbing her eyes, Julia made herself stop transcribing. She had thought the memories were starting to lose their jagged edge. But reliving the moments she had treasured before Craig became her boyfriend only reminded her of the turn of events that tore them to shreds.
Some promises he had kept, like replacing her shirt and showering her with many more gifts to come. But others, well, maybe he meant to keep them but well-meaning only goes so far. After a while broken promises just turn into a litter of lies.
Please, God, don’t let me make the same mistake twice.
Pulling out a brand new little black memory card, she hit “save” on her laptop then tucked the journal into her desk. Wearily, she crawled back into bed.
Chapter Three
Beep. Beep.
Julia glanced up in time to see the shiny black Escalade cruising up to the sidewalk outside the dorm building. The tinted window rolled down, and Geoff’s grinning face appeared from within.
“Morning, ladies and gent!” he greeted the trio as he rolled to a stop.
“Do you mind if I leave the windows rolled down?” Julia asked sheepishly, as they pulled away from the curb. There was something about the morning air, so fresh and filled with hope for a new day. She liked to savor the possibilities of experiencing something wonderful, before the wear and tear of daily life tainted it.
“Not a problem,” was Geoff’s easy answer, flipping off the AC.
Julia forced a smile in response, but kept her eyes on the flashing scenery outside. The ocean was on the horizon, sparkling and playful. The faint sound of the crashing choppy waves down below intermingled with the squawks of seagulls circling and diving overhead.
The SUV curved around a mountain road, and a gleaming white lighthouse came into view. It stood strong and solitude on a sandy cliff, its presence drawing her in. They rounded another bend and the ocean disappeared from view. Clusters of tall trees replaced them, and Julia slowly let her mind drift back to the conversation taking place within the car.
Lexi was in the middle of sharing some funny anecdote from their childhood. Geoff must’ve asked about how they all knew each other. Julia kept her face turned towards the open window, chin propped in her fist, enjoying the cool breeze. Lexi’s lilting voice and expressive descriptions made her smile nostalgically.
Ever since they were children, Lexi imitated her Grammy Lois. She would take on the role of surrogate mother when her grandmother wasn’t around to do so, even though she was the shortest and impulsive one.
Grammy Lois had once told them that as a little girl, Lexi’s mom had nicknamed her “Tsei-Tsei,” which means “Big Sister” in Taiwanese. Her mom had planned on having twelve kids, was how the story went. But a little after her fifth birthday, Lexi’s mom passed away from cancer.
But that wasn’t the story Lexi was regaling Geoff with at the moment. Rather it was one of Grammy Lois and how she would meet the three of them after school each day. She would walk with them back to her home and teach them stuff like how to make dumpling noodle soup from scratch. One day, they had ran out of parsley and Julia had found a solution by secretly substituting it with finely chopped grass, much to Grammy Lois’ chagrin.
Before long, the thick lines of tall trees began to disappear, and was replaced by buildings and small shopping plazas. A Barnes & Noble and Starbucks whizzed by, and Julia knew they were getting closer to church. A couple left turns later, they slowed to a crawl to get in line to enter the massive parking lot.
Attendants wearing orange vests and walkie-talkies smiled and waved them through, towards the tall modern three-story building. It took a few minutes to weave through the parking lot until they found a space large enough to accommodate Geoff’s oversized vehicle. Then they followed the throng of people walking towards the three large sets of open glass double-doors.
Julia sat up straighter when Pastor Jensen walked up. They had heard him preach several times before at different youth conferences, so it was pretty exciting to be at his church and to see him so close up. Julia jotted down as many notes as Pastor Jensen talked about how everyone is intricately created by God, all unique and specifically molded to play a vital role in the family of Christ. As Pastor Jensen spoke, Julia couldn’t help but wonder what kind of role she was supposed to play when she could barely talk to people.
Julia was still praying when people started to rustle in their seats, and the organ played a loud triumphant hymn to end the worship service. She felt a hand on her shoulder, and opened her eyes to see a pretty girl with light brown hair and wide almond eyes smiling at her.
“Lexi and Julia, right?” the girl greeted them, her faint accent sounding musically Hawaiian. “I’m Natalie Aiea. I’ll be leading the freshmen girls' small group this year, if you’re interested in joining a Bible study with A.A.C.F.”
“Hey, Natalie,” Geoff grinned at her from his seat next to Julia, and casually slung his arm across the back of the pew. “Recruiting early, huh?” Geoff teased Natalie, and she gave his shoulder a playful push but smiled undauntedly.
“I’m having a dinner at my apartment before the first A.A.C.F. meeting this Wednesday. We’ll walk to The Cove together, so you won’t have to show up by yourselves. Here’s my email if you’re interested, would love to have you join us!” She handed Lexi and Julia both a slip of paper torn from her bulletin. Giving Julia’s shoulder a friendly squeeze, Natalie threw Geoff a look that said “behave,” and moved to rejoin her friends.
Julia followed the slow shuffle out towards the double doors. It seemed like Geoff knew everybody as he greeted people from the other college fellowships, such as InterVarsity, Navigators, and Campus Crusades.
Geoff was rallying up people for a BBQ. Eventually, Julia found herself back in Geoff’s car racing towards a residential neighborhood.
“Whose house are we going to?” Julia whispered to Lexi. The latest hit song by the David Crowder Band blared from the radio and wind whipped at them from the open windows.
Lexi leaned in and whispered back, “I think Geoff and Randall and some other guys rent a house near campus. Seems like that’s the place everyone goes to hang out.”
The car slowed in front of a two story blue and white house bordered on both sides by thick oak trees. In the driveway was parked a dark grey Honda Element, all four doors opened, and dripping wet. The guy in the hunter green cargo shorts and bare feet, who was spraying down the car, paused to turn towards them as Geoff turned off the ignition.
“What’s he doing?” Lexi asked. “Isn’t he going to ruin th
e upholstery in his car?”
“Water resistant, and rubber mats on the floor, the Element is the perfect surfer car,” Geoff shrugged and climbed out of his car. “Hey, everyone’s coming over for a BBQ. Help me get the grill going,” he called to his housemate, who continued squinting at them before finally giving a slight nod.
“Hey, Wynn.”
“Hey, Wynn,” Lexi echoed Elliott and followed Geoff into the house. He gave them a nod then turned to resume hosing down the interior of his car.
“Hey, Wynn,” Julia parroted her friends, lingering. “How was church?”
He shrugged. “Fine, how was church for you?” He was staring at her oddly like he was wondering why they were invited over to his place.
“Good. But different, so much bigger and more organized than my home church,” Julia offered with a nervous laugh. Then stopped, disliking the sound of it.
“Yeah, Pastor Jensen is good, really solid sermons.”
“Yeah,” Julia bit her lip, feeling overwhelmingly awkward. “Okay, well,” not knowing how to finish this conversation. She backed up a few steps then whirled around and darted into the house.
There were surfboards and boogie boards leaning against the wall, and the house smelled of sunscreen and a salty mustiness of ocean wet clothes being left out.
In the front room, a cluster of musical instruments for a full band was set up, including large speakers and a sound system. The dining room had a large table in it, but looked like it served more as a study hall with all the laptops and backpacks scattered around the table.
Lexi was in the back room, which featured the biggest flat screen TV Julia had ever seen. A jumble of electronic devices were tangled to it, shelves of DVDs and videogames lining one wall.
The door slammed and Wynn walked in. He had thrown on a plain white t-shirt, his long shorts wet from rinsing the sand from his car. He gave the girls a nod as he walked pass but otherwise wordlessly headed out the open glass door to the back patio. Geoff and Elliott were already out there getting the grill set up and burning.
Lexi fiddled with a couple remote controls before figuring out how to switch channels to a Sunday afternoon chick flick. The movie was already started, but it was a Keira Knightley classic, so they picked up right away with the storyline to travel back in time to Old England with Pride and Prejudice. Right before Julia’s favorite scene where Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy have their passionate shouting match at the stone gazebo in the middle of a rain storm, the door to Geoff and Wynn’s house banged open. The front room filled with noisy chatter and laughter, bringing her back to reality.
Lexi hopped up from the sofa and Julia trailed after her as they made their way into the kitchen. Natalie and some other people were unloading bags full of grocery. “Need a hand?” Lexi offered, and they were assigned to salad duty.
Soon the first batch of Korean-style marinated Kalbi ribs were thrown on the grill and the fruit was cut, salad prepared and side dishes laid out.
Lexi, Elliott, and Julia ended up sitting on the grass outside, underneath one of the lemon trees, listening to the upperclassmen banter comfortably back and forth. Wynn clearly fit in with his friends, easy-going and confident. Julia tried not to let it bother her how he didn’t give her a second glance, and only talked to his friends. It wasn’t like she was being ignored. Everyone else was doing their part to make her feel welcomed. They asked her the regular questions about how her first weeks at college have been, and friendly questions about her hometown.
“So, Elliott, what was it like growing up with these two girls?” Geoff asked conversationally, between taking large bites of his steak.
“You mean other than getting my hair braided every other day?”
“Dude, you had hair long enough for them to braid?”
“Just the regular bowl cut.”
“Every little Asian boy’s nightmare.”
“Yeah, I was their real life My Little Pony,” Elliott said and the guys laughed at his unfortunate past.
After a while, Wynn got up and went back inside the house. Julia caught herself following him with her gaze, but then chided herself. Instead she made herself focus on the people around her.
There was Alison Wong, in the dainty white summer dress with the perfectly made-up face who looked like a porcelain China doll, but when she opened her mouth was loud and sarcastic. Sitting next to Alison was Mudd Hori, who was stocky, slightly resembling a bulldog, with his intimidating appearance. On the other side of Julia was Wynn’s roommate, Dan Lee.
When everyone finished eating, some of the guys started up a Wii game. Other people headed to the front room and started jamming on the instruments.
“So can you guys hang out longer?” Natalie asked Julia, who was perched next to Lexi on the back of one of the sofas. They watched Geoff and Randall sweat it out on the videogame consoles. Elliott was sprawled out on the floor in front of the TV waiting for his turn.
“I do have some reading to do,” Julia admitted, then caught Lexi’s pleading look. It was clear Lexi was having fun and wanted to stay.
“I can drive you back to campus. We can get your books, and come back here to study.” Natalie suggested. The thought of getting any studying done here was hard for Julia to imagine.
“That’d be great! Thanks, Natalie!” Lexi answered.
“You don’t have to if it’s going to be a hassle,” Julia wavered at the wide-eyed look Lexi threw at her.
“Not a problem,” Natalie insisted. “Everyone hangs out here. It’s crazy right now, but we do manage to get some studying done.”
The ride back to campus was unexpectedly short. Julia grabbed as many textbooks as she could, slung her knapsack over one shoulder. She waited while Lexi dawdled over her books, unsure of which one she wanted to bring.
“I don’t want to make Natalie wait forever. Just bring your Earth Science textbook. That’s your first class tomorrow.”
“But I don’t think we have a reading assignment for that.”
“Then grab your Math book. If we’re going, let’s go.”
By the time they got back down to Natalie’s car, Elliott was already in the passenger seat. He was lazily twirling a pencil on his fingers, a thin notebook balancing on his knee.
“Where are your books?” Julia asked him as she scooted into the small white Civic.
He shrugged. “I just figured I’d do whatever assignment Lexi was going to do.”
Elliott had copied off Lexi’s class registration list at the beginning of the school year claiming the course catalogue was too confusing to comprehend.
Back at the house things had mellowed down quite a bit. In the dining room, several people were hunched over their laptops. The TV was turned off in the back room. Moody 80’s music was playing softly in the back ground.
They settled in, and soon Julia was engrossed in her American Society and Culture reading assignment, tuning out the rest of the voices around her. Lying on her stomach, she wasn’t even aware of how much time had gone by, until her propped up arms started going numb. She switched positions, only to see that most of the room had emptied out.
Natalie was sitting leaning against one wall, head bent over the Economics textbook open in her lap. Sprawled across the brown sofa was Wynn, earphones on, thumbing through his iPod. Julia wasn’t even sure when he had joined them. His laptop laid shut on the floor next to him.
The CD in the stereo had stopped playing, and instead music from the front room had started up again. From the sound of it, that was where everyone else had gathered.
Noticing her movements, Wynn looked up from his iPod and glanced over at her. His head bent at an awkward position from where it reclined on the arm of the sofa.
“Long reading assignment,” he commented.
Not knowing what to say, Julia remained silent. He sat up and pulled the earphones out, tossing the music player next to his laptop. He glanced over at Natalie, who hadn’t looked up from her reading,
then looked back at Julia. She felt like he wanted to say something. The urge to ask him again about his church and how his day went working with his youth group came back but she didn’t. She had already asked earlier, when he was outside rinsing out his car, and he hadn’t wanted to talk.
Seemingly on cue, Lexi and Elliott came wandering into the room. “Finally,” Lexi said with an exasperated tone, seeing Julia close her textbook. “Did you have to read about the entire century in one night?”
Julia heard Wynn chuckle from the sofa, and Elliott plopped down on the floor next to her.
“Alright, who’s up for some Kamikaze?” Geoff asked, big grin in place, holding up a gallon of milk.
Natalie groaned.
“I believe I have a bet to settle with Wynn,” Geoff continued. “Are you up for the challenge?”
A wicked gleam entered Wynn’s eyes. He got up slowly, confidently, rolling his shoulders and looking ready to attack.
“What’s going on?” Lexi laughed, moving closer to Natalie.
Natalie shook her head. “This crazy game Randall and the guys made up their freshmen year. Every year they make all the freshmen play it, and each year the rules get more complicated and the dares more outrageous. It’s a bit of a hazing for the freshmen but even the older guys still get competitive over it. Geoff was the reigning champion, but lately Wynn’s beginning to steal his thunder. They’re always at it.”
“Alright, let the games begin,” Randall announced, coming down the stairs in his sleeveless undershirt, getting pumped up. There was a whole lot of good-natured jeering and stretching and hopping around the way boxers do before the leave their corners of the ring. Lexi couldn’t help but laugh at the spectacle.
“Oh, yeah,” Geoff hooted, strutting around making people laugh. He chest bumped Mudd who growled at him in return. Julia moved to lean against the wall, but Randall motioned her over with a wave.
“Sorry, no spectators. We don’t allow witnesses. So you either get in the game or you can go stand outside.”
“Randall!” several girls protested right away, making Randall and the other guys laugh.