“Well, it looks like I may have corrected the order of things even better than I thought,” Callum mused, idly tilting his mug to let the light of the stars reflect off the surface. “I will understand if you’re uncomfortable, however.”
Finishing off the final swallows of rum, Aiva sat the mug precariously on the railing. “Callum – ” she started, her train of thought drifting before she managed to remember what she was trying to say. “It isn’t that I’m not comfortable. In case you haven’t noticed… I’m a little drunk.”
“A little?” he chuckled.
He was right. Her senses were beyond simple intoxication. She couldn’t remember having felt so out of control. Even with the ale, it hadn’t been to this extreme. At least she didn’t feel sick… “I suppose we could take advantage of the larger room for the night,” she shrugged. It seemed innocent enough. They didn’t have to do anything just because the other men expected it.
Callum moved in to close the gap between them, stumbling over his feet, the tip of his elbow sending Aiva’s mug down into the water below. They both stared over the edge, laughing drunkenly at the lost drink. When their laughter faded Callum turned back to her, nodding his head in agreement. “You’re right,” he stated. “It’s our wedding night. Regardless of what we choose to do, we deserve a more comfortable room. Etiquette requires us to accept the Captain’s offer. It would be rude not to.”
“Exactly,” Aiva gave an exaggerated nod. Her mind was in chaos. What was she talking about? Every inch of her body screamed to take Callum in her arms and drag him off to the Captain’s room while a tiny voice in the back of head continued to try and reason with her. They were drunk. It would be better if they just went to sleep. I probably won’t remember this tomorrow anyway… She was suddenly aware of her body having moved. Her lips were against Callum’s, their arms entangled with one another, oblivious to the cheers of the men around them. Callum’s hand reached out to steady himself against the rail, laughing at their inability to stand upright without the support of the ship. Lacking any sign of the grace Faustine had fought to instill in Aiva, she tumbled to the ground with Callum, laughing even harder at how pathetic they must look.
Weaving unsteadily, Callum helped Aiva to her feet, pulling her into him protectively, the force of her weight nearly knocking them flat again. “Let us find that bed,” he chuckled. “I’m afraid if we don’t do so soon, we are going to end up in the water.” Once he was satisfied that they were balanced, Callum held up his hand, waving to the rest of the men on deck. “I thank you gentlemen for a wonderful evening!” he announced, the words slurring worse despite his attempts to keep them clear. “If you will all excuse me, I believe it is time I take my wife to bed.”
The crowd let loose with a roar of applause. Aiva was surprised to discover that she wasn’t embarrassed any longer by the lewd comments of the men. There was no reason for her to feign modesty in front of them. At the gentle pressure of Callum’s hand tugging her toward the door of the Captain’s quarters she gave a flirtatious wink to the crew. Just think, she laughed quietly to herself as they stepped into the room, closing the door and locking it to shut out the loud voices coming from the main deck. None of them are going to remember this when they awaken either.
Rain pattered down against the windows of the spacious room when Aiva’s eyes opened the next day. Her head ached, reminiscent of the morning after her first experience with ale at the tavern in Vailetta, though without the horrible pain in her stomach. I need to stop drinking so much. She could no longer blame the soldiers and sailors for imbibing the amount of alcohol they did. What else was there for them to do when stuck at sea for days and weeks on end? The wine and rum was a good enough way to pass the time. It just wasn’t a suitable pastime for a Princess. And it certainly wasn’t a feeling she enjoyed waking up to the morning after.
They would be nearing the Luquarrian mainland soon. Her heart raced to think of being reunited with her father and brother. She couldn’t wait to see their faces. Everyone thought she and Callum were dead. To imagine the joy in their eyes to discover them alive – it brought a smile to her lips unlike any other.
In the clarity of her sober mind, little details started to fall into place, quickly eating away at the excitement. So many things had been left a mess before she snuck away from Tanispa. Many of which Callum remained unaware of. She turned her head to look upon him where he slept, face buried in the feathery pillows of the large bed. Guilt crept over her to see him there. If he knew all the terrible things she had done, he never would have gone through so much trouble for her. There was no way to guarantee his homecoming would be the same joyous occasion as hers. Questions remained unanswered. Accusations, prompted by her own foolishness, which would require action. He loved her now, but the mistakes of her past might change everything. How could she have been such an idiot?
Clutching her head in misery she rolled out of bed. She needed air. There had to be something she could do to fix the mess she made for Callum back home. It would be impossible for her to think of anything while lying there in bed with him. Quietly gathering her clothes, she dressed herself. She hated to leave him there alone. To awaken without her at his side. Thankfully, he was right about one thing. It was only a ship. If he sought to find her, there were only so many places to look. Maybe then she would have the answers she was looking for as well.
On her tiptoes she stepped through the door, closing it behind her, careful not to make too much noise. The deck was quiet. In some of the drier corners she could see men passed out in their drunken stupor, oblivious to the rain pouring down around them. A loud clap of thunder caused her to jump. How could these men sleep so soundly? Even with the drinks in her system, the ferocity of the storm seemed capable of tearing anyone from their slumber. A sizzle shot through the sky with a bright flash of lightning, setting the hair on the back of her neck on end. The deck was not a place she wanted to be. It would be drier down below. At least there she might be able to focus.
The floorboards were wet from the rain as she made her way to the barracks. Water sat in puddles on the wood, leaving it somewhat slick for an unsuspecting sailor. Careful of her footing she held onto the wall, safely finding her way into the cover of the corridor. Her hair was drenched, the rain a torrential downpour. It reminded her of the storm in Carpaen. Diqun’s night. She hoped the bad weather would pass before the veil completed its cover over Karana’s eyes again.
She and Callum had chosen a room near the end of the corridor, nestled deeply in the ship. It boasted only a single window which would be beneficial in her hopes of ignoring the raging storm outside. Her hand twisted the knob gently, anxious to get out of the hall. She wanted privacy. Her head was too confused to chance conversation with any of the men right now.
Morose, Aiva slumped onto the little cot, head bowed forward, face buried in her hands. What had she done? And why did it not come to her until now? Edric had reminded her of the troubles she caused back home and still she said nothing to Callum of it. Somehow it hadn’t seemed important at the time. She gave her defense of Callum’s past to Edric, but that would only go so far. It would come as a shock to Callum if his father confronted him about Ireni. That information was never supposed to reach Cadell, nor would it have if she had kept her mouth shut.
Why did her head have to hurt so badly? It was making it impossible to think. She had to come up with something. If she could get Cadell and her father alone. It wouldn’t take long to explain her misunderstanding. But that didn’t change the fact that they had confirmed the truth with others in Callum’s unit. They knew Ireni was captured by luring her to Callum. Nothing she could say would change the past. He would have to face it.
Tears threatened to fall, though she couldn’t be sure if it was in frustration for the predicament she found herself in, or if it was simply from the horrible ache in her temples. Another loud rumble of thunder cut through the air. Groaning in misery, she laid down on the cot, facedown, knees cur
led underneath her in an awkward position, hugged tightly against her stomach. There was no way for her to find comfort with the way she felt in that moment. It was hard to believe she’d been so happy the night before when so much remained wrong.
Through the tumult of rain pounding against the side of the ship, she missed the sound of the door opening. Involuntarily she sobbed into the surface of the cot, her entire body jumping to hear Callum speak her name from the doorway. “Aiva? My gods, what is it?”
He pushed through the door, giving it nothing more than a slight kick with his foot to close it behind him. Lifting her face from the bed she gasped in surprise. Callum looked wretched. His hair was tousled, eyes glassy, squinted in obvious pain from the dim light filtering through the window. Little care had been taken to arrange his clothes when he awoke. At first glance he looked as if he’d been run over by a team of horses.
Coming to sit at her side Callum slid underneath Aiva to act as a support where she leaned precariously forward from her knees. Facing him only made the guilt worse. He was there to ease her suffering and he had no way of knowing what she’d done to him. “Aiva, are you sick? Are you hurt? Did something happen?” His eyes shifted to where her hands clutched at her stomach, a sudden look of panic crossing his handsome features. “You… you’re not… are you?”
Confused by his reaction she shifted her weight back, staring at him blankly. “I’m not what?” she sniffled.
“I just… I’m not familiar with… women,” he stammered. “I guess it would be a little soon to tell if you were… with child.”
Realization dawned on her, an overwhelming desire to laugh building up inside. Quickly, she removed her hands from her stomach, holding them out in front of her defensively. “No. Goodness, no,” she blushed. An odd expression passed over her face to think on what he suggested. In honesty, she couldn’t deny the possibility. Unlikely as it was. Now was not the time for her to worry about that. “You’re right. It’s much too soon for us to be concerned. As happy as it would make my grandmother, I would rather not consider that right now.”
“Then I don’t understand,” he said, a hint of relief evident in his tone. “Are you still thinking about Kaemin? If so, there is no reason for you to be alone. You could have woken me.”
“No, it isn’t that at all,” Aiva grimaced. How could she tell him? He would be furious if he knew the truth. At the same time, she couldn’t keep it from him. It was best he hear it from her before his father confronted him. “Callum,” she started, hesitant. “I have done something terrible. You are going to hate me.”
The nervousness returned to his eyes, staring at her, as if afraid to ask what she meant. Gently he pulled her closer, a soft hushing sound emitting from his lips in attempts to soothe her. “Did something happen last night? If any of the men touched you, just tell me and I will take care of them…”
“It’s not the men, Callum. I did something to you.” Her breath came out in a shaky exhale. This was harder than she expected. She wasn’t ready to tell him. Why couldn’t he have stayed sleeping just a little longer?
His confusion was deepening. Searching his body Callum looked for anything out of place. Finding nothing, he settled his gaze on Aiva, inquisitive. “Aiva, I don’t understand. Did you have a nightmare? Maybe the storm is affecting your subconscious.”
She needed to say it. He didn’t deserve to be strung along like this. Every effort he made only added to her guilt. If she didn’t say something soon, she felt she might explode. She sat back to place distance between them. It wouldn’t be a good idea to have his arms around her once he heard what she had to tell him. “Callum, listen. I should have told you this a long time ago.” She swallowed hard. You can do this. It is better to be honest with him. How could this be better? They had only just found happiness and now she was about to ruin everything. “I said some things before we left Tanispa. Things I shouldn’t have said. And I don’t mean just the conversations between you and me. When Dacian told me his exaggerated version of the events in Siscal, I mentioned the story to some people that, in retrospect, I probably shouldn’t have.”
Callum’s body stiffened. Slowly he retracted his hands from Aiva to rest them in his lap, fingers clenched tightly into fists. He said nothing, only staring at Aiva expectantly, waiting for her to continue.
“I had no intention of it reaching… No. That would be a lie,” she frowned. Thinking on her foolishness she wanted to scream. Idiot! How could she claim it was all an accident? Everything had gone exactly the way she wanted at the time. Unfortunately, she had been an absolute imbecile. “No one listened at first, and I wish they had continued to ignore me. That would have been better. Edric passed the stories off as lies, given my source. When Shaelyn was kidnapped I even tried to convince my father that you were somehow involved and he argued in your defense, telling me that I was overemotional due to the stress of the situation. But I was so convinced! I thought you were evil. When you went with Edric and my father to search the grounds of the palace, I asked Lord Diah about you. I made him promise to investigate the matter.”
All color drained from Callum’s face. He fought to keep himself calm, posture erect, his breathing shallow. “I’m not comfortable with where this is headed.”
Agonized by the guilt, she felt the tears start to fall again. “Callum, I honestly thought it would end at that. Until we met with Edric in Palinon, I thought it had,” she paused, a sob jarring her body while she struggled to keep her composure long enough to finish. “When we first boarded the ship, he apologized for not listening when I tried to tell him about you. I argued about how wrong I had been. I no longer believed Dacian’s lies to be true. But Lord Diah did investigate the matter. From what Edric told me, he and your father interviewed several of the men from your unit and received affirmations on most of the initial claims. This was the reason they were so late setting sail to meet us.”
“So my father knows? About everything?”
“Regrettably, yes. I tried to tell Edric the truth. My hope was that he would pass the defense on to our fathers when he met with them in Dackdyn.”
“And when exactly did you plan to tell me? Do you have any idea the repercussions this will have on me? My career? On us, Aiva? Did you think about that? If they take this to trial and find me guilty, you may discover yourself a single woman after all.”
Single? Would they rescind the marriage? “How could they do that?” she asked, desperation ringing in her words. “The marriage was consummated. It cannot be undone.”
“Really?” Callum exclaimed, exasperated. “In case you didn’t notice, your parents happen to be the King and Queen of Tanispa. They can undo anything they choose. As the heir to the throne, your husband is not a choice they can take lightly. If I am disgraced or dishonored in any way, until the day you wear the crown, our vows can be annulled at their whim.”
“What would you have me do, Callum?” she cried. It was worse than she thought! Her heart finally knew what it wanted and she had screwed everything up because of her inability to utilize common sense. “Tell me what I can do to make things right and I will do it.”
Rising to his feet, Callum began an agitated pace across the tiny room. She wanted to reach out to him but she feared he would push her away. Not that she could blame him if he did. She didn’t deserve him. He had every right to hate her for what she’d done. “There is nothing to be done,” he threw his arms up in frustration. “This is one game you secured your victory in, Aiva. My career is finished. And while I might manage to escape execution out of some favor in being the General’s son, rest assured that I will be banished from court.”
She watched him, miserable at her inability to console him. There had to be something she could do. She was the Princess! Her word had to hold some sway in the decision. She refused to accept that her parents would be so unreasonable.
Fists tight at his sides, Callum turned toward the door. Aiva was on her feet instantly. She couldn’t let him leave.
Not like this. He would calm down soon enough and they would be able to rationalize a plan. It always worked before when they were faced with impossible situations. They wouldn’t be where they were now if not for their ability to push through the hardships together. In swift and agile strides she stepped between Callum and the door to block his path.
“Aiva, get out of my way.”
“Callum, please,” she begged. “We can fix this.”
“I said get out of my way. I want to be alone!” His hands grabbed onto her biceps to lift her from the ground. She sank her weight, hand gripped firmly around the handle on the door to prevent him from picking her up.
“I’m not letting you leave. I know you’re angry, and I cannot blame you for hating me, but I am begging you not to go!”
“Hate you?” Callum exhaled in disbelief. “I don’t hate you, Aiva. That’s exactly what the problem is. I love you. More now than I ever thought I did before. If my career was the only thing I stood to lose, I could tolerate that dishonor, but they will take you from me. When we reach Luquarr, they could send me away and I might never see you again. I can’t live without you, Aiva. I tried for fifteen years to survive with the thought of not having you with me and it was absolute hell. Please, do not torture me right now.”
His grip tightened again to move her away from the door but she held strong. What kind of friend would she be if she let him walk away at a time like this? He needed her. He just couldn’t see it the way she could. “If you have to hit something, Callum, then hit me. I deserve it. Otherwise, I refuse to let you out this door.”
She flinched at the sound of Callum’s fist striking the door beside her head, his body moving in closer. A soft cry escaped her in surprise. The rapid beat of her heart made her feel faint. “What kind of man do you take me for?” he asked through gritted teeth. “You think I would raise my hand to you? I admit there are women I wouldn’t hesitate to strike. You, however, are not one of them. Even when I think I could not possibly be angrier with you, my instincts say to lash out, but for some reason my body can think to do nothing but take you in my arms. What kind of witchcraft have you placed upon me, Aiva? I am convinced you could rip my still-beating heart from my chest and I would continue to love you. Put me out of my misery for the damnable mistake I made with that whore of a woman in Siscal. If I had known it would haunt me this way, I never would have come back to Tanispa.”
The Myatheira Chronicles: Volume Two: Beyond the Veil Page 69