Gleam (The Plated Prisoner Series Book 3)

  Slade’s hands hang at his sides, and something ripples in his eyes. Something I can’t read. “What are you saying, Auren?”

  Everything.

  I’m saying everything.

  Because there’s no time. Because I’m supposed to leave. Because he’s leaving too.

  I take a deep, shaky breath. “All my life, I have been coveted or bought or possessed because of the gold that drips from my fingers and lusters my skin. I have been used and kept, and I learned to accept that life. I learned to accept that the best I deserved was Midas and that I shouldn’t ever hope for more because I knew just how much worse it could be.”

  An angry look slashes across the shadows of Slade’s face, his mouth pressing together above his stubbled chin.

  My wet lashes drag against my cheek with every blink. “But then you came along. And never, not once, has anyone looked at me the way you do.”

  He goes tense, breath bated to hear what I have to say. There’s a long pause held between us, like hands cupping water, desperate not to let a single drop leak out. “And what way is that?”

  “Like I’m a person instead of a trophy. Like you don’t just look at me and see gold,” I answer honestly. “That’s never happened before,” I admit with a sad smile. “You challenged me to be more than what I’ve been made into. You showed me how to see the world without my blindfold.”

  He shifts on his feet, allowing a slash of light shining from the balcony doors to land across his black-clad chest. “Good.”

  “But when you did that, you didn’t just open my eyes. You shifted my vision entirely, and now, all I keep seeing is you.”

  My voice cracks with the truth, but I let it spread, let it split, just as I’ve been torn down the middle for weeks. It’s so hard, standing here in this raw honesty, bleeding out words. But for better or for worse, I’ve chosen a path in that forked road.

  “I was going to just run away. To continue denying and doubting this...thing between us. I kept telling myself that you lied to me, that you’ll fool me like Midas did, that you can’t be trusted. But you’re under my skin and stuck in my head, and I’m furious with you for that.”

  Slade rears back and his eyes flash. “Why?”

  A shaky sigh slips from my lips. “I’m furious because every waking hour, every sleepless night, I’m trying to convince myself that running away is the best option, but I’m failing at it. I have these things inside of me now, this anger and this fear and this want, and I should walk away—I should. But it’s not enough to just get away from Midas anymore, to run and hide. Because you dug around and unraveled me, and now, I want more.”

  Tears gleam across my cheeks as they fall. I don’t think Slade is breathing. There’s this look on his face that’s somehow a perfect mix of determination and devastation. His power crackles, and although I brace myself for a wave of sickness, it doesn’t come.

  “Auren,” he rasps, just a slip of my name that somehow sounds like a promise rent from his soul.

  “I keep blaming you for things so that I can push you away. But you’ve done nothing wrong. Not really. You’ve challenged me and pissed me off and lied, but it’s nothing I didn’t do right back. You’re not the villain in my story.”

  “I am,” he says without remorse, his sharp jaw tight with tension. “But I’ll be the villain for you. Not to you.”

  “I believe you,” I say immediately, because it’s true. I do believe him, not just in this, but in everything. I can only hope that doesn’t make me the fool.

  The moment I say that, Slade takes a step forward. Just one, yet I feel the air between us condense and thicken. As if all these words I’m saying are filling up the divots we’ve created by digging in our heels.

  I watch him and he watches me, and in my head, I hear him saying, you are my own good. In the tingle of my lips, I’m feeling the heat of his mouth when he kissed me.

  “All my life, men have had me, but I have never had a man.”

  The barest of breaths sucks in through his teeth. A stillness passing between us like a fragile pane of glass.

  “I am no man.”

  “No. You’re more,” I agree. “Because no matter what I do, you cling to my skin and burrow into my conscience, and as angry as I am at you for that, I don’t want to lie to myself anymore. I am sick to death of repression. Of denial. Of holding back. After twenty damn years, I don’t want to tell myself no.”

  “So don’t,” he says, practically cursing the word. “What do you want, Auren? Admit to me what you really want.”

  There’s an internal compass inside of me that laid still for so long, stuck behind its arc of glass, listless and without hope. But it’s been spinning since the moment I left Highbell, begging me to follow my instincts. To move toward something better.

  It’s time I start following that compass. I just didn’t expect for it to point to him.

  My pulse pounds and my hands tremble, because when denial drains out of you, it leaves you shaken and scared. What are we without our white lies and protective walls? I’m laid bare, heart raw and vulnerabilities wrenched open, thoroughly ruined while somehow feeling inexplicably right.

  Which is why I let that last wall tumble down when I look Slade in the eye and say, “You, Slade. I want you.”

  Chapter 29

  AUREN

  Time crawls. With bent knees and flat palms, it skulks forward with a painful, pitiful drag, scraping at my nerves as it goes.

  Slade stares at me, and an unbearable silence fills the spaces where seconds should be ticking by. It’s unfair how beautiful he looks just by standing there. Midas called him ugly, because he can’t fathom the perfection of Slade’s anomalies. The strange marks of power that root beneath his skin are striking. As are the thorns that sprout from his spine and the scales that dust his cheek when he’s in his other form. Every sharp plane of his face, every strand of tousled hair, every muscle sculpting his body is perfect.

  Why did he have to be so consuming?

  My life would be easier if he weren’t. But I’ve stepped too close to him and gotten caught in his quicksand. No matter which direction I go, I just end up sinking deeper.

  My heart beats so hard that my temples throb, palms slicking up with nervousness as he continues to stand there, watching me.

  I just told him I want him, told him bits of my life I don’t share with people, and yet...he’s saying nothing.

  Finally, I can’t take it anymore. The silence, the scrutiny, the confessions lying at my feet like plucked fruit left to rot. “Are you going to say anything? I just admitted that I want you, and you’re just standing there.”

  Slade blinks. “I was processing.”

  “You process really slowly.”

  His mouth hitches up. “What do you mean, exactly, when you say you want me?”

  I thought I couldn’t be more embarrassed, but I was wrong. I wasn’t expecting this reaction, and it makes me feel...rejected. Snubbed. It hurts more than I can put into words. “You know what? Forget it.”

  The second I move toward the door, Slade easily sidesteps in front of me, stopping me in my tracks. “You think you can say all of that to me and then just walk out?”

  I shoot him an incredulous look. “Yes, because you’re not saying anything. If things have changed, if you don’t want me back, then…”

  A frown tucks in, creasing in place between Slade’s brows. “Don’t want you? Is that what you think? You think I’ve been hanging around Fifth Kingdom because I’m excited to attend a ball?”

  “I don’t know what to think!” I cry out, hands flinging up in exasperation. “I just said all of those things, and—”

  “I’ve wanted you since the moment I laid eyes on you, Goldfinch. I was just waiting for you to catch up.”

  My breath hitches to the steady gait of his voice, my gaze reined in to his piercing eyes. It’s everything I didn’t know I needed to hear. His words instantly calm
the turmoiled waters that were splashing around inside my chest, and just like that, my fear of rejection washes away.

  When he takes a prowling step forward, my pulse jumps, like I’ve suddenly found myself playing the prey in a hunt. “Tell me, do you remember how it is between fae?”

  “Umm, no.” I give a slow shake of my head, confused by what exactly he means.

  “Fae are not like Oreans,” Slade explains as he walks over to the fireplace and crouches down in front of it.

  My eyes drop to his powerful thighs, and I watch as he meticulously layers the grate with kindling from the neat woodpile before he lights it with a piece of flint. Sparks come to life, and he leans in closer, blowing softly until flames lick up the wood. I don’t know why I find that sexy, but I do.

  “Fae are wilder in our instinctual drives. We can be demanding and ardent, dominant and jealous.” He stands up and faces me again, and even though he’s no closer than he was before, it feels like something between us has compressed. Like the world is shrinking into this moment. “Especially with...someone we want.”

  I’m hot all over, my ribbons unable to hold still any longer as they twine against my back.

  “I didn’t answer you right away because I need you to understand something first,” he tells me, that dark, brooding voice of his caressing my ears.

  I force myself to let go of my skirts and smooth out the wrinkled parts I’d clutched onto. “Okay...”

  Newborn firelight flickers at his back, but his gaze gleams brighter. “I was going to make myself walk away. I was going to leave early—tomorrow actually. I had every intention of respecting your decision. Whether it was to stay with him or to run, I was going to force myself to accept it and leave you be.”

  I don’t like hearing him talk about leaving. Just the thought of it makes me squirm.

  “But make no mistake. I would’ve still wanted you.”

  My eyes prickle with his declaration.

  Right now, with the intensity of his attention on me, I can feel that wild edge he just mentioned. “It’s all or nothing, Auren.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I want all of you,” he tells me, a newfound hunger in the depths of his green eyes that stirs heat beneath my skin. “Every piece, every memory, every minute, every inch. This isn’t going to be some casual dalliance. This isn’t going to be temporary. I want you soul, mind, and body. I want your trust and your thoughts. I want your past, your present, your future. So make very certain that you want me for the right reasons. Be certain that you’re choosing this, because once you do, there’s no turning back.”

  An overwhelming rush of emotions drenches me. I’ve been caught in the rain of Slade’s storm, not a single part of me left out of the torrent. But surprisingly, my doubts don’t sprout up. Worries don’t flood me. Instead, I feel an inner resolution, like bobbing ice that’s finally settled and gone still.

  “I want it,” I tell him with a resolute nod.

  A slow, wicked grin curls his lips, and my toes curl with it. When he looks at me like that, my skin seems to shimmer, though it has nothing to do with being gold.

  “But I get all of you too. I won’t ever again give myself to someone who doesn’t give himself back to me. So make very certain that you’re choosing this, King Ravinger,” I parrot back to him. “Because once you do, there’s no turning back.”

  He chuckles, the sound like a gravelly baritone that’s music to my ears and makes my own lips lift.

  “Oh, I’m certain,” he replies. “I chose you the moment you called me a prick, and your ribbons tried to knock me on my ass.”

  A surprised laugh escapes me. “That’s when you decided?”

  “Yep. No need to admit when you chose me. I know it was when you were admiring my ass outside.”

  My mouth pops open, cheeks going hot. “For the last time, I was not looking at your ass!”

  “Mm-hmm,” he replies, sounding unconvinced as he walks over to the curtain and drags it open, filling the room with the silvered light of the sun stuck behind a veil of snowdrift clouds.

  When he opens the balcony door and looks up at the sky, I frown. “What are you doing?” I ask as he comes back in and shuts the door.

  “Gauging the time. We have about half an hour, I’d say.”

  “You have somewhere to be?”

  He gives me a sardonic look. “Do you honestly think I’d leave after you just told me you’re in love with me?”

  I blink in shock and rear back. “I didn’t...I’m not in love with you,” I quickly say. “That’s not what I said.”

  He rubs at the black scruff on his chin, regarding me. “Not exactly that phrase, no. But with you, I have to hear what you’re not saying in order to read the whole page of your words.” His voice pitches lower, right along with my stomach. “I assure you, I’ve heard you loud and clear.”

  I shake my head, dashing away his claim with a slash of my hand. “That’s not...no. Don’t be ridiculous. I said I wanted you. I don’t love you.”

  He cocks his head, looking infuriatingly calm as he leans against the wall and crosses his arms again. “Are you sure about that?”

  My expression is incredulous. “Yes, I’m sure!” I exclaim, cheeks gone feverish. “I admit I feel something for you, but not that, you arrogant ass. Love doesn’t happen this way.”

  His brows hitch up. “Love happens in all kinds of ways. Fast. Slow. In bits and pieces, or immediate. Filled with lust, one-sided longing, a snap realization never noticed before. Deeply. Thoroughly. Love is a whisper we didn’t hear or a sound that drums in our ears and drowns out everything else.” Slade edges toward me, though I barely notice because I’m so hooked on his words that I’ve forgotten to blink. “You’re incredibly private. Closed-off. Conditioned to shut out your true feelings and deny yourself what you want. So you wouldn’t have said all of those things unless you were in love with me, Auren.”

  Do I love him?

  No. He’s delusional and pretty damn self-assured. There’s a pull between us, sure, an undeniable spark of something, but it’s not love…

  Right?

  My teeth grind as I take a step back. “You’re wrong, and you’re also a presumptuous jerk, and I no longer want you, so I’m leaving now.”

  His grin widens. “And you’re a gorgeous little liar, but that’s okay,” he says with a shrug. “I’ve made you face your other truths, and I have no doubt I can make you face this one too.”

  My stomach jumps with a thrill I don’t want to admit.

  He thinks I’m gorgeous.

  Okay, yeah, he thinks I’m a liar too, but the takeaway here is the gorgeous part.

  I cross my arms and tip my chin up as if he didn’t just tilt my world on its axis. As if I’m not feeling exposed and terrified. “Don’t say love.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because,” I huff out, feeling overwhelmed. “That’s... I don’t have the best history with that particular word, so I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t say it.”

  The bastard grins. “We’ll work on that.”

  My eyes narrow, though my damn heart is pitter-pattering like a flock of feet. “Okay, goodbye.”

  His lips twitch and he shakes his head. “As I said before, you’re not leaving, so you should know better than that.”

  “I know that my ribbons are going to push you out of the way if you don’t stop teasing me.”

  His eyes flick down, and I follow his gaze to see that my ribbons have once more started to slither up to his bed and wriggle around. “Great Divine,” I mutter.

  Slade tries and fails to suppress his grin. “I’ll take my chances with them. So…since you’re staying, will you undress for me?”

  My heart stops, eyes going wide. “Excuse me?”

  “Soul, mind, and body, remember?” he says, a devilish spark in his eye. “I want all of you, and I’ll have you.”

  A full-body flush streams
down my skin and pulses low in my stomach. “Now?” I squeak.

  He lifts a shoulder. “We can play this push and pull game for a little bit longer if you prefer. I enjoy our verbal sparring. The challenge makes the reward that much sweeter. But we both know it’s just a matter of time before I have you under me, spread out and gloriously naked with your sunlit skin pressed against mine as I take you hard and slow.”

  “Good goddess,” I breathe, pressing a hand to my hot cheek. “You’re a crass one, aren’t you?”

  Carnal amusement crosses his expression. “Oh, Goldfinch, if you think that was crass, then you don’t want to know the things I’m thinking, because they’re positively filthy.”

  The intensity that’s always between us flares from the pit of my stomach and pulses between my thighs. This heated temptation has been building with every interaction, and I can’t help but feel like all the moments between us have led us to this. That it was just a matter of time before we were going to collide.

  “Now, are you going to strip, or are you going to lie to yourself and pretend that this wasn’t what you wanted when you came here to see me?”

  The cocky prick.

  I arch a brow. “You can’t have me yet.”

  His eyes flare with challenge. “Is that so?”

  My hand waves toward the balcony. “It’s still daylight. Which means you can’t touch me.” I let a smug smile cross my face.

  But Slade doesn’t look deterred. In fact, he starts prowling over to me, and the sly look he wears makes my own grin falter. “Why do you think I asked you to undress yourself?” he purrs as he comes closer. “If I could touch you right now, I’d already be doing it. Like I said, we have about half an hour, but just because I’m forced to wait until I slide my hands over your luscious body doesn’t mean we can’t have plenty of enjoyment in the meantime.”

  “I don’t know if that’s a good idea…” My heart slams against my chest, and I retreat as he keeps coming forward until my back hits the wall.

  “I wholeheartedly disagree.”