by E. D. Parr
Dale grabbed up the thick quilt that lay folded on the bottom of the bed. He went into the kitchen on his way back to Valentine and brought a couple of beers with him.
Valentine had slipped his suit pants back on and stood gazing out of the window. He turned. “Dale, we never considered someone might see us.” He widened his eyes at Dale.
Dale went to him and looked out at the dismal afternoon. The weather brought twilight early, but it was late. Evening closed in. He shrugged. “Too late, Valentine, and any way I don’t think we could have been seen from the street.” He smiled and handed his lover the beers.
Valentine took the bottles. Dale dropped the quilt on the couch and found his boxers. He pulled them on. “Sit with me.” He brought the quilt and draped it so that they could sit together on the couch with it around their shoulders.
Valentine handed him a beer.
Dale put his arm around Valentine with a sigh as they sat close. “Mmm, this feels good.”
Valentine snuggled into his side. “I can stay on Earth, if you love me. Could you—love me?”
Dale took a deep breath. As he spoke, he remembered the way it seemed as if he traveled with Valentine through a river of stars as they kissed. His heart pounded. “How are you here, if you’re a star? Stars are planets or hot masses of gas … so…”
Valentine twisted to gaze into Dale’s eyes. “You called me. You woke me up for a visit. I get ten. If someone falls in love with me, I can stay. I so want to stay, but more than that, now, I want you. I want to be with you. I don’t know how it all happens, or why. There are others like me. I know that. On occasion, just before we go to sleep if two of us arrive back from a visit together we think to each other, a distant hello.”
Dale’s mouth went dry. Either Valentine was crazy or it was the truth. He considered everything from the minute he laid eyes on Valentine to that moment. Despite the incredible nature of the story Dale half-believed it. “When did you become a star? How do you arrive on Earth?”
Valentine’s earnest expression made Dale smile. This is fucking incredible.
“I’m not sure when, maybe two or even three hundred years ago. I don’t fully remember how. Sometimes I dream it. I’m on a boat in a storm, I’m trying to find the dogstar in the black night, then I’m in the heavens traveling fast, and then I’m a star. Somehow, I know I’m a star. I guess I emit heat and light. Thoughts appear inside my consciousness. I communicate.”
“How did you know that position, the one where I could kiss you and…”
Valentine looked away and then back into Dale’s eyes. “Nineteen-Eighty … a guy taught me…”
Dale traced a fingertip along Valentine’s lips. “Hey, everyone has sex. Well hopefully.” He smiled. “What happened before we met doesn’t matter. You’re with me now. Tell me, though, can you remember everything that happens on your visits?”
“Not all of them. I remember that visit. It was the last before this one. I remember one in nineteen- sixty but no others, but I know this is my ninth visit … somehow. I won’t take the tenth. I already love you. It’s weird I know. There must be a reason why I get to fall on Valentine’s Day. It’s always Valentine’s Day.”
Dale stared at Valentine. Does it matter if he’s crazy or if it’s true? I like him so much, but do I love him? What would happen to him if I made a mistake and after a little while we broke up? Would he somehow be snatched away from what he loves—the planet, me to who knows where? He tried to lighten the mood.
“Maybe, because it’s your name, you’re some kind of Valentine gift for lonely guys.”
Valentine whispered. “Yes.” He leaned to Dale and captured Dale’s mouth in a kiss.
Dale closed his eyes and savored the delicious sensation and then he was flying, flying through vast darkness, past planets and with pinpoints of light glimmering in far off loops of stars. Dale snapped his eyes open. He drew away from Valentine.
Valentine’s sky-blue eyes were full of love. “I’m your falling star Valentine.”
A prickle of fear went up Dale’s spine. The situation suddenly seemed threatening. Into his head came the weirdest thoughts. I don’t want to be a star. Will he take me with him? Is that what will happen?
Dale pulled away from their embrace and stood. His heart hammered. He needed to do normal things to chase the bizarre thoughts away. “I’ll clear up. We didn’t eat much. Hey, check the TV.” He snatched up the remote from the coffee table and dropped it into Valentine’s lap.
Chapter Ten
The table was cleared. The chairs pushed under. The dishwasher rumbled. Dale made the bed with the fresh, warm linen he’d given extra time to in the dryer. He’d pulled on a T-shirt and made coffee. His beer, left undrunk on the counter, he returned to Valentine.
Valentine stood. “I know you’re uncomfortable. I’m sorry about the ‘I love you’ stuff. I guess I said it too soon. I can leave early. I only need to think for it hard enough. I’ve done it before.” He’d put his shirt on, but it hung unbuttoned out of his pants displaying his gorgeous body.
Dale ran his hands through his hair. “I can’t let you go out into the night. It’s cold. It’s freezing. The rain has turned to sleet. I made coffee.”
Valentine followed him into the kitchen. “I won’t feel the cold. I won’t even go outside. One minute I’ll be here, the next in the star cluster.”
“How is it you’re clothed?” The question popped into Dale’s mind. He knew his brain still searched for proof of what or who Valentine was.
“You mean where do my clothes come from. I appear somewhere I can get clothes—today I was in the change room of a nice store with men’s clothes easy to pick up. In nineteen-sixty, I appeared at the back of a market stall. My clothes were peculiar that time … a bright orange shirt and pants that had wide bottoms…” He took the cup of coffee Dale held out to him.
Dale’s thoughts tumbled. “You stole them … Do you look like this on each visit? I mean your face…”
Valentine answered before Dale finished the question. “Yes, and I think maybe this was what I looked like before I was a star. I’m sorry about stealing.”
Dale took a deep breath. “I do like you very much.” He saw sadness in Valentine’s drooping shoulders and the urge to comfort him made Dale reach out and slip his hand around Valentine’s face.
Valentine’s eyes broadcast misery. “Not enough, though, I guess. I think it’s probably a hopeless task I’ve been set. Who could possibly fall in love with me in just one day?” He gave a wan smile.
Affection flooded Dale’s heart at Valentine’s sad assessment. “I have two friends who met their partners, knew instantly they wanted to spend the rest of their lives with that person, and they’ve been together ever since. It’s not unknown.”
Valentine put down his coffee. “I’m tired of hoping for love. I don’t think I’ll try to find it again. I hope I dream of you when I’m asleep in the stars. I hope I feel your kiss on my lips and see your lovely eyes in my dreams as I grow ancient and finally burn out.”
Dale stared at Valentine in awe. The beauty in his words hit Dale full in the heart. He’d never received such romantic sentiments. He wondered if anyone had ever loved him because no one had said anything like that before. He put the cup he cradled in one hand down onto the counter.
“Do you want to take a shower? We could go to bed.”
Valentine gazed at him tenderly. “Thank you.”
Dale took his hand and led him into the bedroom. The bedside lamp was lit from when he’d made the bed. He’d laundered towels with the bedlinen and he picked up two.
In the ensuite, he stripped off his boxers and T-shirt.
Valentine took off his pants.
Dale went to him and pulled off his shirt, kissing his neck just below his ear, he dropped the shirt onto the tiles. “We can just relax in the water…” Dale turned on the faucet and checked the water was warm. He gently pulled Valentine into the shower cubicle with him. Silently
he took the soap and swept soft handfuls of lather over Valentine’s hard body. He soaped himself as Valentine turned in the cascade of water. He leaned on the tiles with his free hand and let the warm water stream over him. Have I ever felt real love? I thought I loved Jack, but now I’m not so sure. I never felt this complete urge to take care of him. I never felt as loved. He turned to Valentine. “Stay, Valentine, stay until you have to go.”
Valentine pulled him close. He kissed Dale’s lips as water ran over their faces and shoulders.
Dale held Valentine’s face and returned the kiss. He crushed close to Valentine in a hug that forced such strong emotions to rise in his heart, Dale let Valentine go, and turned off the water. He handed a towel to Valentine and wrapped one around his own waist. The toothpaste and brush he’d brought with him in his travel bag lay on the counter surrounding the sink. He brushed his teeth. When they’d shopped earlier that day, Dale had bought more toiletries, among them a pack of toothbrushes. He found the pack in the cabinet and gave it to Valentine. Still puzzled by the mix of deep sadness and extreme tenderness that welled in him as he’d hugged Valentine, he hung his towel on the rail, and went through to the bedroom.
Dale had left the quilt in his hurry to withdraw from Valentine earlier, and he went into the living room to retrieve it. Fucking hell, I might have fallen in love with him.
Valentine helped him shake it into a cover and then they crawled quietly under it.
“Will you remember me?” Valentine murmured, as he cuddled close to Dale.
Dale couldn’t speak for a moment. When he did, his voice came out in a whisper. “Yes.”
He closed his eyes. Maybe this is a dream and I’ll wake up still in the hotel, having never left. How can he really be a star? He does shine brightly, though, even here on Earth. He’s beautiful, and sad, and loving… His thoughts drifted—
****
Valentine closed his eyes and savored the shape of Dale’s body against his. His fatigue wasn’t the kind that led to sleep. He was tired of trying, tired of believing things could change for him. I must accept my fate, which is to sleep among the other stars, and be grateful I’ve ever had more. He listened to Dale’s breathing and caught the place where it changed. Valentine knew Dale slept. Carefully he shifted so that he could look at Dale. He tried to imprint Dale’s handsome face and delectable body on his memory. He stored away the feel of Dale’s skin against his, and then softly as starlight, he kissed Dale goodbye.
****
The kiss entered Dale’s dream. His heart recognized the love within it and responded with love of its own. Dale opened his eyes searching for Valentine’s lips, but as he lifted his hand to hold Valentine’s head, Valentine shimmered and disappeared. Dale’s hand fell through the space where Valentine had lain, onto the pillow. Dale sat up, shock chasing away residual sleepiness. He looked around.
“Valentine.”
Dale sprang out of bed. He checked the apartment in the hope he’d been dreaming and Valentine was there somewhere. He went back to bed and pulled the quilt over his body. He stared up at the ceiling. Into his heart crept emptiness. Sorrow washed over him.
Whatever he was, he’s gone now. Disappeared before my eyes … before my fuckin’ eyes…
Dale got out of bed. He found a sweater and jeans. He struggled them on with a heavy heart and nausea building in his stomach. I asked him to stay until he had to go. He went early.
Dale padded to the kitchen and filled the electric kettle. He took out a cup and heaped hot chocolate powder in there. Dazed he wandered to the big window and looked out. Snow fell in flurries, but as soon as it touched the ground, it disappeared into the black wetness on the street. He made the drink and brought it to the table where he and Valentine had eaten. He gazed out at the night. Cars swished by. Lights blinked in the city beyond. The idea that Valentine was out there, alone, in the dark, in the cold, in the vast silence of space forced Dale to sit down in despair. He dragged a chair from under the table, knocking the cup and chocolate splashed out onto the glass surface.
I could have loved him … given another few days, some time, a little longer to be sure … I already miss him … maybe I do love him…
Dale hunched over. A tear fell to mingle with the spilt drink. He swiped the second one away. What the hell is wrong with me?
Chapter Eleven
The night wore on. Dale flipped channels on the TV trying to put Valentine out of his mind. It didn’t work. He kept picturing Valentine’s sky-blue eyes. He went over what Valentine had said during the day and wished he’d not been so impatient at the train station. He went to the kitchen and unloaded the dishwasher just to be busy. It reminded him that Valentine had hardly eaten all day. Sadness bit into Dale. He’d been given a chance to be loved, to love, and he’d let it go, let it drift away in the night. Valentine is special, sure, he’s not human, well not yet, but then he felt human enough when we fucked … actually no, that felt out of this world … it was great… He sighed as he put the dishes into cupboards. Imagine making love like that everyday… His gaze fell on the digital clock inset into the oven front. Three a.m. he still had time left. I should have held onto him. I shouldn’t have fallen asleep. Valentine Steel, are you out there?
Dale went to the window and opened the balcony doors. The freezing air swept over him. He walked out and righted the chair that had toppled in the gust of wind that afternoon. He folded his arms trying to stay warm, and gazed up into the sky. There was no moon, but the clear, cold air allowed a sprinkling of stars to penetrate the city aura with pinpricks of light.
He yelled. “Valentine, if you can hear me come back. Come home. I made a mistake. I want you here with me. I, I love you.” As soon as he dispatched the words into the frosty air, Dale knew they were true. He looked down into the street hoping Valentine would appear there on the sidewalk. He hurried inside and checked the bed. Valentine wasn’t there. Dale sagged to sit on the end of the bed. “I’m too late. It’s too late.” He wandered back to the living room and closed the balcony doors with a shiver. He clicked off the TV and went to bed. He needed to get up and go to another part of the city that morning. A meeting was scheduled with an agency he had a contract to work with at the end of the month.
Dale stumbled out of bed at six thirty, groggy after the forty-five minutes of fitful sleep he’d managed to get. He cleaned his teeth and splashed water over his face. He ran his damp hands through his hair and stared at himself in the mirror. I miss him.
Dale forced himself into a shirt and suit. Coffee could wait. The agency staff would offer him a cup for sure. He called a cab. He ran down the stairs and out onto the sidewalk. He had fifteen minutes to get to his seven a.m. appointment.
People were already hurrying to their workplaces, their heads down against the mists of ice-cold February rain. Dale stamped his feet to keep warm, wishing he’d put his woolen pea coat on over his suit jacket or had Valentine’s arm around his shoulders.
The cab rounded the corner of the block. Dale lifted his hand to indicate he’d called it. The cab drew up. Dale opened the door to get in and bent to make sure the driver knew where he was going. He felt a tug on the bottom of his jacket and glanced back over his shoulder.
Valentine gazed at Dale with his sky-blue eyes glittering. His black suit bedraggled and his lovely dark hair stuck on end, Dale’s instinct was to grab him close in a hug.
Dale gasped. “Valentine, you’re here.” A smile spread across his face as love filled his heart.
The sky-blue eyes filled with tenderness. “You called me back.”
Dale stood away from the cab door. “Get in. You’re coming with me. I’m not letting you out of my sight again.”
Valentine smiled as he slid onto the car seat. “Ever again?”
Dale jumped in beside him and clasped Valentine’s hand in his. “Exactly right.”
Valentine turned to him and murmured softly in his ear. “I need to hear it again, Dale.”
A smile wrea
thed Dale’s face as Valentine’s whisper sent tingles down his neck. He breathed in the scent of Valentine’s cologne—sea breezes on warm summer nights full of promise, and he faced Valentine. “How is it you smell like a beautiful ocean?”
Valentine shook his head slowly.
Dale pushed his arms around Valentine’s neck. “You don’t know, right? Doesn’t matter. Nothing matters except I love you, and I want you here with me, always.” He kissed Valentine and as a haze of desire crept over him, into his mind came pictures of pale-green, clear waters, and huge seashells on the sandy bottom.
Valentine sighed against his lips. “I love you, too.”
The End
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