‘But they took an X-ray.’
‘Yes’—she made herself smile—‘but X-rays don’t exactly talk, they just indicate.’
‘Well, hell’s flames! what did they indicate?’ She screwed up her eyes and turned her head away as she muttered, ‘Oh Bill, don’t shout. Don’t go on.’
‘Oh! love.’ His arms were about her. ‘I’m nearly out of me mind thinkin’ the worst. Are you sure he said he didn’t know?’
‘Yes, yes, dear, I’m sure. They’ll know more when they take the appendix out.’
‘So there is more to know?’
‘Yes, I suppose so. But he says, not to worry.’
‘Oh, that’s the set phrase.’ He clapped his hands on the wheel now. ‘You would think they were talking to bairns, that lot. Not to worry. They say to all and sundry, not to worry. Why can’t they think up some kind of machine they can attach to us that stops us from worrying.’
‘Let’s get home, Bill.’ Her voice was quiet now. And when he started up the car, she said, ‘Bill.’ And his name was an appeal.
‘Yes, love?’
‘You mustn’t let on to the children.’
‘No, you’re right there. But, on the other hand, I think you should tell Mark, because he’s got a head on his shoulders, that boy. He doesn’t think of himself as a child anymore, not on a level with the others.’
‘Perhaps you’re right, but we’ll just say it’s for the appendix.’
‘Well, let’s hope to God it is…just the appendix…’
On entering the house, they were assailed by a loud chorus from the kitchen of ‘Good King Wenceslas.’
They looked at each other and smiled and Bill, as he helped her off with her coat, said, ‘“Bill Bailey” on the tin whistle sounded better. Leave them to it; come on and rest.’
‘No; let’s go and see them.’
There was a great rush from the table, and Nell’s voice, rising above the hubbub, cried, ‘Manners! Manners!’ to which both Katie and Willie chorused, ‘Pianos, piecrusts and perambulators.’
‘Finish your tea, all of you!’
‘We’ve finished, Mam.’ It was another chorus.
‘You feeling all right, Mam?’ It was a quiet enquiry from Mark. And looking at him lovingly, she said, ‘Yes, dear, I’m feeling all right.’
‘We’ve been singing Good King Whens at last looked out.’
‘You keep saying it all wrong.’ Katie now gave Willie a none too gentle push. ‘It’s Good King Wenceslas. That’s his name, not When’s at last looked out. That’s daft.’
‘It doesn’t matter if he looked out first, last or in between, it sounds all right to me,’ Bill said diplomatically now. Then looking at Nell, he asked, ‘Any tea going?’
‘I’ve set yours in the sitting room.’
‘Oh, hotel service now. We’re going up in the world, Mrs B, aren’t we?’ Bill jerked his head at Fiona, and she, looking towards Nell, said, ‘That’s nice. Thanks, dear.’ Then bringing her attention back to her family again, she added, ‘Help Nell clear, then upstairs with you. You’ve all got your Christmas presents to do, haven’t you?’
‘You coming up Mammy B to tie my bows?’ Before Fiona could make any response to the child, Katie, bending towards Mamie, said, ‘I’ve told you it’s just like tying your shoelaces, only you’re doing it with ribbon.’
‘I’ll be up as soon as I have a cup of tea.’ Fiona stroked the head that was pressed against her side. And as she did so she looked towards Mark, and he, getting the message, took the child’s hand, saying, ‘Come on, you. Don’t think you’re going to get out of your job, you’ve got to carry the plates.’
Bill now marshalled Fiona firmly from the kitchen, across the hall and into the sitting room, where, drawn up near the couch, was a table set for two, and on it small plates of mince pies, bread and butter, scones, and jam.
Fiona stood for a moment looking down on it, then said quietly, ‘What would I do without Nell?’
Bill made no reply to this but, pulling her down beside him on the couch, he took her face between his hands, saying softly, ‘What would I do without you? God! woman, what would I do without you? Remember that, will you? There’s a lot to be said for will-power and right thinkin’. They’re gettin’ on to the track of that these days, right thinkin’. You can almost cure anything with right thinkin’.’
As the door opened and Nell entered with the tea tray, he sat back on the couch and, reverting to his old style, he said, ‘You’ve taken your time.’
‘My duty is to tend the first-class customers first,’ she retorted. ‘And if you’re not comfortable in this hotel you know where you can go.’
‘I’ll report you to the authorities, madam, for insolence.’
‘Do it, fella. Anyway, in the meantime get your tea, and you know what I hope it does to you.’
Fiona’s head was resting against the back of the couch; her eyes were closed. She knew what these two were aiming to do with their jocular abuse. She said quietly, ‘Will you pop in before you go home, Nell? Because if I understand rightly from previous arrangements, this gentleman is going out to do some late-night shopping.’
‘I can put it off until tomorrow.’
‘I don’t want you to put it off until tomorrow.’ She sat up now and put her hand out towards the teapot as she ended, ‘Don’t forget what you promised the squad tomorrow; the pantomime’s on at the Royal.’
‘Nell can take them.’
‘Nell can’t.’ Nell’s voice was vibrant. ‘I live next door, you know; you’ll soon have me lodging here. And I’ve got shopping to do, too. So stick to your plans, William Bailey, and I’ll stick to mine.’ Her voice dropping now, she said softly, ‘I’ll be in shortly, Fiona, when he’s out of the way.’
As she handed a cup of tea to Bill, Fiona said, ‘I repeat I’m lucky, if only for the fact that she can give you back as much as you send…’
It was some time later, after Bill had left the house to do his shopping and the children were upstairs tying up their Christmas presents when Nell came into the sitting room and, sitting down on the couch and without any preamble, she said, ‘What did he say?’ And for answer, Fiona clasped her hands tightly in her lap and bent her body foward, muttering as she did so, ‘Oh, Nell.’
There was silence between them for a moment; then Nell said, ‘You asked him straight out?’
‘Yes, yes, I did.’
‘And he confirmed it?’
Fiona now drew in a long breath and lay back against the head of the couch as she said, ‘Not particularly. He said it could be, but he wouldn’t know exactly until they got inside.’ Then swinging round, she caught hold of Nell’s hands and, gripping them tightly, she shook them, saying, ‘I couldn’t bear it, Nell. I’m a rank coward, I suppose, but the thought of a colostomy and having, well, that thing at the side, I just…’
‘Stop it! Be quiet! You’re jumping to conclusions. But if it did come to that, they’re doing wonders with that kind of operation now. There’s that young woman who works on the television in Newcastle…She’s in the make-up section. She goes around talking about it now. She had that very same thing done and within six months she had another operation and everything was put back normal again. She’s marvellous, better than she’s ever been.’
‘That may be so; she’s an exception; but I don’t think I could go through with it, the very thought of it, in fact, I’m sure I couldn’t. And…and I can tell you I’ve given it a lot of thought of late because I’ve known all along what the trouble was; I didn’t have to wait to hear him say that’s what it could be. Yet when he did I felt like passing out. But, Nell; now listen to me.’ She again shook the hands that were in hers. ‘I want to talk to you seriously. This is about the only chance I’ll have before Thursday, and…and please don’t interrupt. Let me have my say. Well, it’s like this. As you see it you’re on your own; your divorce will be through at any time. You’ll be free to do what you like, so I’m going to ask you to t
ake my place here and look after the children and…’
‘Shut up!’ Nell’s hands were dragged roughly from hers. ‘Take your place here, you said. I could never hope to take your place, even with the kids. And what about him? Look. You’ve got to think of him more than you have them. That fella adores you. He’ll go barmy if anything should happen to you. Well, it’s not going to happen to you. If it’s what you think, you’re going to go through with it. Take your place indeed!’
‘I asked you to hear me out.’
‘I’m not hearing you any further on that line.’
‘Nell. Nell, please listen to me. It will ease my mind if I knew you would stay on here and see to them.’
‘You don’t have to ask that. Don’t be so silly. You know I’ll see to them. But there’s not going to be any necessity to take over from you. Now, you listen to me. You make up your mind, no matter what it is, you’re coming through it. My heavens! There’s people had the operation twenty years ago and they’re still going strong. And I’ll tell you something you didn’t know. There’s Mam.’ She jerked her head backwards. ‘She had her breast off twelve years ago. She looks as if she’s got a big bust, but one’s a good falsie. So, come on, lass.’ Her voice suddenly dropped and, moving towards Fiona again, she put her arms around her and, her voice thick now, she said, ‘You mean a lot to me. I’ve never had a friend like you in my life. You’ve saved me from despair over these past months, made me feel I was a human being again because when he walked out, as I told you, I felt less than nothing. His mam and dad were wonderful to me, they still are, but they didn’t give me the boost that you did: letting me be with the kids, making me feel wanted and appreciated. Yes, that’s the word, appreciated. All my married life I never felt appreciated. So you see, I’m thinking of meself, ’cos I couldn’t go on without you either.’
‘Oh, Nell, I’m lucky to have you. And you know something? That’s the third time I’ve said that in the last few hours.’
They kissed and hung together for a moment; then Nell, getting abruptly to her feet, said, ‘Upstairs with you and into bed. I’ll see that Bailey gang leaves you alone, until they come to say goodnight anyway.’
Fiona made no protest, she just smiled at this staunch friend and went out.
Nell now went into the kitchen and busied herself at top speed: setting the table for breakfast, putting out a tray with glasses on for the late milk drinks, and a biscuit tin by its side. Then stopping suddenly, she put her hand tightly across her eyes, and as the tears welled through her fingers, she flopped down onto a chair, and resting her arms on the table, she buried her head in them and gave way to the pent-up emotions inside her.
It was like this that Bill saw her when he opened the kitchen door. Startled, she rose to her feet, and he, taking her by the shoulders, said, ‘What is it? What’s happened?’
‘N…nothing, Bill. Nothing.’
‘It’s Fiona, isn’t it? You know something that I don’t. Come on, come on, out with it.’ He shook her.
‘No, no, it isn’t…not that, Bill.’
‘Don’t lie to me, Nell. I know she’s been keeping something back.’
‘It…it…it isn’t that. It’s…it’s about Harry, and…and the divorce.’
‘Well you knew what he wanted, and that’s what you want an’ all, isn’t it?’
‘Yes, yes.’ She sniffed loudly and licked at the tears raining over her lips, then said, ‘I…I got a letter from him, but…but he didn’t say anything except he wanted it got through quickly. And then…then Mam was out this afternoon and met someone who knew this girl. She’s going to have a baby.’
‘Ah, Nell. And the dirty bugger wouldn’t give you one. Ah, lass.’
His right arm slipped round her shoulder, and she fell against him for a moment. And as he patted her, he said, ‘There, there, lass. You know what they say, there’s better fish in the sea. And there’ll come along someone later on. Look at me. What I…’
His voice halted abruptly as the kitchen door was thrust open and his head jerked to the side to see two figures standing stiffly staring at him. It was the expression on their faces that made him almost push Nell from him. Yet he still held her shoulder as he turned her around, looked towards Katie and Willie, who were about to scamper away, and yelled at them, ‘Stop! Stay!’ as if they were dogs. And they did just that, they stopped and they stayed. He beckoned them now with his finger, saying, ‘Come here.’
Slowly they both came towards him, their eyes wide; and now pressing Nell into a chair, he brought them to her knees, saying, ‘You two stay with Nell. She’s very upset about something. Now, comfort her. I’ll be back in a minute.’
And with that he almost ran from the room and into the sitting room and, seeing that Fiona wasn’t there, he took the stairs two at a time and burst into the bedroom.
Fiona had just got into bed and looked startled as he came towards her, his hand out pointing but seemingly unable to speak for a moment. And then he said, ‘In two seconds there’ll be your daughter and younger son diving into this room to tell you that they’ve seen Nell and me necking in the kitchen.’
‘What?’
‘Just what I said.’
‘Well, would you mind explaining?’
He dropped down on the edge of the bed, drew his fingers across his brow as if wiping the sweat from it, then said, ‘I came into the kitchen and I found Nell howling her eyes out, and I got her off the chair and I put me hand on her shoulder, just like this’—he demonstrated—‘and said, “What’s it all about?” In fact I thought she was keeping something back from me about you, you know. And I gave her a little shake like this’—he demonstrated again—‘and she said it wasn’t about you, but she’d had a letter this morning from that swine of hers. And he didn’t say anything about fathering a baby apparently. But her mam was out this afternoon and met somebody who seemed to know that the girl is expecting. And that cut her up.’
‘She didn’t tell me that. I knew about the letter but not about…’
‘Well, now you know. She likely thought you had enough on your plate. Anyway, the state she was in would have moved a brick wall and so I put me arm around her shoulders and she bent her head against me for a minute.’ He tried to demonstrate again, but she pressed him off. Her eyes were blinking, her lips were tight, as he went on, ‘Then the kitchen door was thrust open and there were the two of them goggle-eyed, struck dumb, and I could see that imp of Satan dashing up here and saying just that: “Mr Bill and Nell were necking in the kitchen, Mam.” She’s well advanced your daughter. That says nothing for your son.’
‘Oh, Bill. Oh, Bill.’ She was holding her side now and her body was shaking with laughter. ‘Oh, Bill. Oh, Bill. If…if you could see your face: a…a jury would hang you; there’s guilt written all over it.’
‘Guilt be damned. And look, stop laughin’ like that; you’ll hurt yourself.’
‘Hurt myself? Oh, it’s the best medicine I’ve had for days.’ The bed almost shook, and when her laughter became audible she put her hand over her mouth, and he put his arms around her, saying, ‘Give over now. Give over.’
Her eyes were wet, but when real tears began to take the place of the moisture her laughter subsided, and, dropping her head onto Bill’s shoulders, she said, ‘Oh, Bill. Bill.’
‘Don’t lass, don’t. For God’s sake, don’t cry; it’ll break me down.’
When there came a tap on the bedroom door she quickly dried her face, and Bill, standing up, called, ‘Come in.’ And in came Katie and Willie and, after passing Bill, they went to the bed. And it was Katie who spoke first, saying, ‘I cried an’ all, Mam, ’cos Nell’s husband’s not coming back.’
‘I’ll marry her.’
Bill half turned from the bed for a moment; then swinging round, he sat on the edge of it and, looking at Willie, he said, ‘You would? You’d marry Nell?’
‘Yes. Yes, I told her, when I’m ten, perhaps eleven. She said she’ll wait. Didn’t she, Katie?
’
Katie nodded, saying, ‘Yes, you did; but I’ve told you, you can’t get married at eleven or twelve, you’ve got to be fourteen.’
‘Never you mind, lad.’ Bill patted Willie’s shoulder. ‘She’ll wait and she’ll appreciate what you’ve done, ’cos as you know she was in a very upset state, wasn’t she?’ They both looked at him and nodded, and, Katie staring at him fully in the face, said, ‘Some men can have two wives, or more. It was on the television. A man had five and a lot of children.’
Bill’s eyes widened, so did his mouth, but apparently he could find no comment to make to this statement. It was Fiona who said, ‘But that’s in another country, dear, and it’s because of the religion.’
They looked at her in silence for a moment; then as they both turned from the bed Willie said, ‘God had five hundred.’
‘It wasn’t God, silly, it was Solomon, the king.’
‘It wasn’t, it was God.’
The door closed on them, and Bill, shaking his head, muttered, ‘Those two could do a turn on their own.’
Fiona now said, ‘By the way, you are back quickly; you couldn’t have got much shopping done.’
‘Oh, I got all I needed tonight, and it’s a beast outside, enough to cut the nose off you.’
‘Bill.’
‘Yes, love?’
‘Will you have a talk with Mark, explain things to him?’
‘Tonight?’
‘Yes. You can take him down to help with the rest of the streamers.’
‘What’ll I say?’
‘Well, just explain I’ve got to go into hospital the day after Boxing Day, and you’re depending on him to see to the others over the holidays; and that I’ll be back home again long before he goes to school.’
He stared at her, but made no further comment. Then getting up abruptly from the bed, he went out. And she lay back and closed her eyes and thought, I can’t bear it.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Bill Bailey Page 21