Kesar's back started to arch from me with intense pleasures. Her chest heaved with heavy breaths. Her sweet innocent face twisted in sexual awakening.
"Look at me, Kesar," I told her. "Look at me before I release you."
Her body was shaken by the pleasing sensation. Her hips went stiff and her legs thrust about in the trembling water. Kesar looped her hands around my arms and dug her nails into my skin.
"My lady! I do feel as if I’m dying!" Kesar cried at the intensity of her pleasure.
"You're not dying," I told her. "You're peaking."
Then I delved deeper, gliding through all the wonderful places in her paradise. Kesar threw her head back and clenched her teeth. Overwhelmed by this delicious madness, she screamed.
"Oh, gods...my lady...!" Kesar whined and instinctively tried to close her legs as she climbed towards the highest peak, but I entwined them with my own and pinned them apart.
"Shh...it's alright, Kesar," I whispered.
After a frenzied moment later, the muscles around her hips became tensed. Her walls suddenly collapsed, gripping me in a burst of a powerful bliss.
Kesar screamed and choked on the climaxing sensation. Her hands clutched my arms tightly while the joy raged through her body. I had to tighten my embrace around the maiden to keep her from slipping away.
Kesar closed her eyes, savoring the blissful eruption inside her nectar-flooded core.
When it was all over, the maiden opened her eyes again. They were glassy and dazed, staring into a distance, yet brighter with a newfound knowledge of passion.
Leaning forward, I planted an apologetic kiss on her cheek. For a long moment, neither of us spoke. We stayed unmoved in the silence. My fingers were still deep within Kesar's warm twitching softness, and I felt the utmost comfort and healing there.
I tightened my hold on her still shuddering body.
I knew I was cruel and unforgiving, but I wanted someone to mend my broken heart and to fill the void.
The sound of her ecstatic whimpers and moans satisfied my hunger. The chamber was filled with my lust as I poured it upon the winged maiden. I pitied my poor Kesar, but I delighted in the way she clung to me and the way her body raged with bliss.
I planted a soft light kiss on the crown of her head. I whispered in her ear, asking her to forgive me for I did not love her the way I loved the princess.
CHAPTER 29
It wasn't until the birds chirped their morning songs and dawn let down its light that I woke up again. Kesar had removed all my bandages and the wounds had vanished without a scar. I spent all day and every day sleeping in my bed that Kesar was afraid I might slip into a coma, or just die of a heartbreak.
The medicine from the twin brothers was so effective that I no longer felt any gripping pain. Kesar was still assisting me, even though I had reassured her many times that I was as good as new.
This morning, she helped me get dressed. It almost felt like any normal day where I would get ready to go to the encampment as usual. But I doubted that I was still needed there anymore.
Then I realized it was actually the weekend. I would have a class with Amarisa. The thought of it sent the same wreaking wave of sadness upon me. The memories of the lovely princess and I were still fresh in my mind. It felt like yesterday when we declared our love for each other. Now, all I heard was silence as if I was stuck in a desert land all alone.
Kesar came over with a few maids in tow. They brought me a delicious meal in gold and silver platters along with the divine herbal drink.
"You must be hungry, my lady," Kesar said and smiled brightly. I smiled back as best as I could although it was dull and grim. The maids arranged the platters on a small three-legged wooden table. They set it a big fur rug on the living room floor and then bowed away before leaving through the chamber door.
From the corner of my eyes, Kesar sat and watched me stare at the food. Her face began to register a deeper concern.
"My lady, you must eat something," Kesar said. I sighed and nodded, half-heartedly picking a ball of sesamed rice and putting it into my mouth without tasting it.
"I'm not hungry," I said with a long grieving sigh. My maiden's face saddened at the way I acted.
"Please, just a little more. It's better than nothing," she said and scooted closer to me. She then picked another ball of rice and brought it to my lips with an encouraging nod. I looked at her face for a moment before opening my mouth to nip at the rice from her hand.
Kesar gave me an approving smile. I smiled back. She continued to feed me as I tried to pretend that I was fine and nothing was hurt. Deep down, the only fresh wound that couldn't seem to heal was still tormenting me inside my heart. I wished I could go back home and left everything I had known in this world behind. But the thought of leaving the girl I loved was far worse.
Suddenly, we heard a knock on the door. After another knock, Kesar stood and walked out of the living room. It was probably the avatars again. I could hear a faint conversation outside, but I couldn't tell who was speaking. After a moment later, the sound of footsteps followed.
"Who's that, Kesar?" I asked while reaching for my tea.
I almost choked on my drink when I found a slender purple-clad figure moving gracefully into the room. The morning light framed her delicate body. At the sight of her, all the grief that had been insulting me dissolved. My dark thoughts faded away like a whiff of thin smoke. I finally realized who had come to visit me at last, and a great joyous zeal filled my heart.
Amarisa stood, looking at my surprised face. She gave me an awkward smile. Even though I was overwhelmed by her delightful presence, a sulky frown quickly creased my forehead. My eyes flickered with hurt and anger. The notion that she did not come to me during my longing days and nights still made my heart ache.
We held each other's gaze for the longest moment as if we both were at a loss for words. Then Amarisa nodded at her handmaidens. They bowed away and left the chamber. She came forward rather timidly, looking nervous like a misbehaved child.
"How...how are you?" she spoke rather hesitantly. Her blushed face was of trepidation and guilt. I noticed her hands fussing over the hems of her golden scarf.
My frown deepened in displease, causing her to drop her gaze in obvious shame. She knew how I must have felt. Kesar stood at the corner while the tension between the princess and I thickened like a black cloud.
I stood and turned my back on the fair princess. If I hadn't done so quickly, I would have bolted out and grabbed her in my arms. I would have kissed her like a desperate lovesick fool I was and told her how much she had been missed.
"What are you doing here, Amarisa?" I said without looking at her.
"Please, Nikita, you must first listen to me," her voice quivered. Then I felt her hand gently placed on my arm, but I recoiled from her touch. It pained me all the more. I squeezed my eyes shut and clenched my fists to restrain myself from caving in.
"In case you wonder, I'm not dead yet," I said with a strong hint of hurt.
"Nikita, why did you say such a terrible thing?" Amarisa came around to face me. She grabbed my hands and forced me to look at her. I could see the shock written over her angelic face. Her eyes glistened with tears, and secretly, I cursed myself for putting her in this state.
"I don't deserve your attention anymore, Your Highness," I said coldly. "Pay me no mind. I am not good enough to be your pair. If you have a change of heart, I will understand. I'm not great and noble as you might have thought of me. There is no need to explain your absence."
I pried her hands off mine and walked back into my bedroom as fast as I could.
To my surprise, Amarisa followed me with a pleading look on her face.
"Please, Nikita, hear my words," she said. "Your indifference to me put my heart in a suffering state."
I turned around and stared intensely at her. I heard a short screech of the door closing. My eyes caught a flash of Kesar's small figure through the open crack before she disappeare
d and left me and Amarisa in privacy.
"Go away and leave me alone, Amarisa! I have nothing left to impress you anymore. As you have seen me, I am weak and unworthy of your high attention. Never mind you did not wish to see me again."
My acrid words made her flinch, earning a refusal shake of her head. Gritting my teeth, I turned back to walk towards the bed. But then I found a pair of delicate hands encompassed me from behind.
I stopped as Amarisa held me close with her cheek pressing against my back. My eyes widened. Her arms tightened around my waist with a sudden longing that sent a shivering chill down my spine. I could feel her soft body trembling against mine.
"Please Nikita, don't behave this way. Listen with your patient heart for a moment," she said with a saddened sob. "When I saw you fallen in the field, my heart broke with grief and worries. I longed to come flying fast to your crumpling form, but my fear of having my loving heart exposed for all to see kept me rooted."
"If you truly care for me as you said, then what was stopping you from seeing me for all these times?" I said.
"Forgive me for I was not brave enough to come and visit you when you needed me the most," she said. "When I heard the news of your awakening, a rush of warm brilliant joy eased the bitterness of my sorrows. But my heart couldn't be comforted with hearing it alone, and I prayed for a chance to see your face and true form, yet not until all my parents had gone to attend state affairs that I could come to you at once and without delay."
"You're lying! You could have come at night and many nights before!"
"If I saw you then, while you were in bed, broken and unmoving, I would have thrown myself at your side regardless of anyone else there!" she said in a frustrated tone. "I could not bear to see you, and I would weep so heavily that the whole palace might erupt with my despairing cries. You can't imagine the agony of seeing your lover hurt and broken, much less of being able to see her but not able to touch. To find you wounded and lying still, it would have caused a fresh sorrow to mount upon me one after the other like avalanches. What words must I say to make you believe me?"
There was a deep silence. I could hear our panting breaths.
"Was that why you didn't come all along?" I asked at last.
"Believe me, I wanted to so terribly," she said. Her voice coated with tears. "I begged my mother to halt the fight, and now she had seemed to suspect my anxious thoughts. I must not provoke her attention, that was why it had delayed me."
Without a doubt, I believed every word that came out of her mouth. I took her hands and turned myself around without breaking our embrace.
Her black lashes were damp with beads of crystal tears. I brought my palm to her flushed cheek and brushed her soft smooth skin with my thumb. As we looked at each other again, I swallowed the guilty lump in my throat. Her own torment had affected me as I finally understood her reasons.
"Amarisa," I whispered in guilt. "I wrongly accused you and misjudged your heart. I grieved, thinking you had avoided me because I was no longer the one you wanted..."
"Avoid you? I did not!" she protested with a vehement shake of her head. "It was you whom I have fallen in love with. The strange foreigner I met inside my very bathhouse that stole my heart without my knowledge. What could I do to make you believe that I love you so?"
It was all crystal clear that Amarisa still belonged to me. I couldn't describe the joy and relief I felt. I trailed my fingers over her perfectly curved jawline and tipped her narrow chin to me.
"You don't have to do anything, my princess," I said, "I just missed you so much I had gone mad with grief. Forgive me for being so harsh and so cruel. I was too sad that I did not see your true feelings."
Amarisa brought her hands to my face and traced her thumb over my lips to silence. Then she let her other hand cards through my unruly blonde lock. My head tilted as hers also leaned forward, closing the distance between our lips. A strong thrilling joy spread through my body. Amarisa opened her mouth to join my invading tongue.
How I missed and craved her taste.
But something else pierced my mind like a sword. I had already done a terrible deed that was unforgivable. I remembered the words of the love god.
Love could be pure and innocent but also harmful and dirty. I wondered how many poisoned arrows had struck my unfortunate heart.
~*~
I coaxed the princess to sit on the bed with me. Her face still flushed from all the crying, yet nothing could deform her beauty. I had missed seeing her and longed to hold her again.
Amarisa lifted her face to look at me. Her eyes shone brightly with relief and renewed joy. I leaned in and planted a kiss on her tender cheek, which was stained with tears.
"Amarisa, I've missed you so badly," I murmured and moved my lips to meet hers again. She responded by parting her mouth. I wound my hands around her dainty waist and pulled her closer to me.
Once our bodies made contact, my passion for her grew and spread like a wildfire. Our hearts raced and our bodies melted into each other. The gentle kissed burned more furiously in wanton needs. There were raging desire between us. It was like an ever-lasting kindle, which was ready to burst afire again.
Amarisa moaned in my mouth. Her breathing hitched in her throat. I wanted to devour every inch of her delicious skin. With the growing temptation, I pushed her gently towards onto the bed.
"Nikita..." Amarisa tried to speak again but she was interrupted by my ceaseless lips.
“I’ve missed you so much,” I whispered and moved down her slender throat then suckled her pulse, earning another gasp. My hands roamed her elegant form as we both laid down.
At once, I rolled us around the soft bedding. We broke the kiss with a giggle. Then I crawled atop Amarisa, and she stayed still with a blush. Her eyes twinkled with mirth. I smiled and dipped down for another passionate kiss, which my princess gladly joined. It seemed Amarisa also craved me and was willing to receive my affection.
"I must blame you for keeping yourself from me far too long," I said between kisses. "You did not know how it had tormented me in my waking hours. It was beyond despair and misery to me."
"Your lost temper and ardent lips could have killed me," she said in a breathless voice. "But each night I prayed to the deathless gods to keep your heart with mine."
One of my hands snaked around the back of her neck to hold her head in place as my tongue roamed around her throat earnestly. Amarisa let out a soft moan. The gnawing hunger growled from the pit of my stomach.
My other hand started unbuttoning my shirt. At the third button, she realized what I was trying to do and her hands went up to my chest and pushed me back, parting our lips soundly. I frowned in dissatisfaction.
Amarisa gave me an amused yet apologetic smile.
"I know you are mischievous and impatient," she said. "But that should not permit this hasty deed."
"But the thought of losing you and you abandoning me engraved a fear in my mind,” I murmured softly. “I want to claim you as mine and would not risk another day."
"Not yet, beloved Nikita," she spoke in a sweet voice. "Believe me, I do want you more than you are aware, but now is not the time for such intimacy. This act of love means so much to a virgin maiden in this kingdom. Besides you were injured and are now recovering."
“But now I am fine!”
My lips pursed in a childish manner, which made Amarisa giggled musically. She brushed my hair back with her tiny long fingers and leaned her face forward to peck me on the lips as if to console me.
"I have never met anyone quite like you. You are insistent, reckless, and also very, very spoiled," she said, which caused me to smile again. "But you are as loving as you are fearless. Above all, you give me the passion that could move the sun and the stars."
My heart swelled, threatening to burst in a wild delight. Her words made me forget all the bad things that happened. I grinned so wide, my cheeks hurt.
“Then why don’t you stay here with me until the sun has set?”
"In all honesty," she said again. "Even if it means I am to be your handmaiden for a day, I would gladly agree."
I would have been overjoyed hearing that if it didn't remind me painfully of Kesar and her devotion. I tried to suppress my guilt and hide my mistake with a smile.
"Then will you promise to let me be your first and your last lover in your warm bed?" I said in a mischievous tone.
Amarisa slapped my arm. I pretended to cry out in pain.
"Oh, my gods! Nikita, I'm so sorry! Are you hurt?" the princess said in panic as she came over to soothe me, but I pulled her body against mine with a smile. Her sweet fragrant scent spilled all over me as her shiny silken hair flowed like black curtains. I stared up into her deep brilliant eyes.
"I love you, Amarisa," I whispered. "Just by having you near me is better than any remedy in the world."
Still caged in my arms, Amarisa smiled and stroked my cheeks.
"I shall prove that my heart is filled with your love alone," she said. "Tonight I shall ease all the anguish I have caused you."
My eyes went wide in utter surprise.
"Really, Amarisa?" I smiled teasingly. "Are we going to spend our night making sweet love?"
"No, stop your dirty mind!" Amarisa cried and her face reddened again. Her hands kept playing with the collar of my open shirt shyly. "I have a special plan to surprise you."
"Would you kindly tell me of your secret plan then?" I asked, raising my eyebrows in curiosity.
"Not all the details," she said. "But I can let you know that I will take you on a lovely date."
CHAPTER 30
After Amarisa had left, I tried to find Kesar, but she had disappeared. Then my avatar friends came to my chamber. I was relieved for I couldn't imagine what they would think if they ever saw the princess here. They were delighted to see me again, and I finally let them come and sit with me in the living room.
"So how are you feeling, Nikita?" Tepi asked in concern.
"I'm fine now. There is no need to worry," I said with a bright smile.
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