“No. He’s…” I stopped myself. “I’m fine. It’s not my blood.”
I wasn’t fine. My hand hurt where I’d hit Mr. Jones as I came through the door. I’d used Gaze’s desk lamp and clobbered Mr. Jones as hard as I could in the head. It had made a sickening thwack. But all I could do was try to get to Gaze. His father had fallen behind him and the desk was jamming into Gaze’s chest.
I used all my might to roll Mr. Jones away and kick his legs from trapping Gaze. Then I pulled out Gaze’s chair. I slid under him as he, too, fell to the floor. I didn’t want Gaze to hurt his head.
I started shaking as I flashed through the memory of getting Gaze to his feet and helping him to the door. Of pounding my hand on every door we passed until I made it to the elevator.
A neighbor saw what was going on just as the elevator doors closed and met me on the first floor, taking Gaze away from me and easily carrying him. And then the adults were in charge and my job was to stay near Gaze.
Someone called 911 and the police showed up first. I told them the number of the apartment and that Gaze’s dad had done this. I didn’t want Mr. Jones to come down and get angry again and maybe hurt Gaze some more.
Gaze’s lips were blue, and I saw the whites of his eyes as they fluttered up. And then I was answering questions as Mr. Jones was brought downstairs. His hands had blood on them. I looked down at my own hands and they, too, had blood.
Gaze’s hands were clean. And now, lying in the ambulance, he had a needle inserted in his with a piece of tape holding it steady.
And then we were at the hospital. The paramedic that had asked me if I was okay guided me out of the ambulance and set me to the side. I watched as Gaze was pulled out on a bed that had wheels that popped out as it left the vehicle. The male paramedic from the other side went in with Gaze, spouting information as they rushed.
I wrapped my arms around myself but stopped short of the comfort. My bloody hands. My pajamas. I was so cold.
The female paramedic reached into the ambulance and opened a metal cabinet. She came over to me and tossed a scratchy blanket over my shoulders. “I know you said you’re okay, but let’s get you inside and make sure.”
“Oh. I can’t—I have school tomorrow.” I tried to wriggle out of the blanket to hand it back to her.
“Sweetheart? You’re likely in shock, and I think you might actually have some injuries. I think school is out of the question for tomorrow.”
There was no one to call. Both Mom and Bic were traveling. I nodded because I wasn’t sure I really could walk home in my pajamas and bare feet.
The paramedic guided me into the hospital and shared some private words with a nice looking nurse.
The nurse took over and walked me to a bed with a curtain around it. “Hey, let’s clean you up and get you nice and warm.”
It sounded lovely, so I let her do just that.
_______________
An ER seems like an entirely different world. This late at night, people were buzzing all around like it was the middle of the day. Pam, the sweet nurse, had hunted me down some scrubs and two pairs of socks with rubber grips on the bottom. Then I had three blankets that felt toasty tucked around me. My hands were cleaned off and I did have a few cuts that she bandaged.
All the while, she spoke to me. Asked me about school, about Gaze and my favorite things. After introdocing herself as Pam, she tried to find out about my parents. Even with as soothing as she was, I knew not to say anything. I mean, technically, I was old enough to be alone, but not for the length of time that Mom had to travel.
Pam gave me updates about Gaze, that he was being treated and he was in the best place possible, and I felt my eyes closing despite the bright lights.
A police officer and the nurse opened my curtain and stepped inside my little bubble. I wasn’t tired at all anymore. The officer made a lot of noise as he moved, he had so much stuff on his belt.
“So, Pixie, right?” He nodded at me and pulled a rolling stool over. He sat down on it.
I nodded. I was going to be in over my head soon. And I knew I’d already said too much. Gaze didn’t want anyone to know his father hit him. And I didn’t see any way to get around that reality right now. My brain felt both hyperalert and sluggish at the same time.
“I need to ask you a few questions about this evening. You were at the apartment of the victim, correct?”
Nurse Pam stepped back into the cubical. “Sam, you’re not trying to interrogate her right now, are you?”
“Hey. No, just have some conflicting reports coming through, and I knew that Pixie here could settle things for me. Just tell me the facts.” He pulled his phone out and tapped on the screen. It was tilted so I could see he was taking notes on it.
Pam’s eyes narrowed.
“I’m Officer Sam, and Bruce was down at the station saying you were the one that attacked Gaze. Just checking on that whole situation.” He leaned forward a bit, watching my face.
“No. That’s not just checking and you and I know it. This kid needs to visit with her parents and stuff before you grill her. She’s my patient, and right now, I need her calm while I observe her for shock and injuries.” Nurse Pam stepped between Officer Sam and me. I watched as her positioning forced him to roll back in his stool. “And I’ve seen that little boy. She didn’t do that to him. Come on. Use common sense.” She kept stepping toward Officer Sam until he was forced to back up a few steps.
He leaned around Nurse Pam. “Okay. That’s fine. I’ll be back tomorrow in the neighborhood. And we’ll talk then, Pixie. Quite a few people know who you are.”
He smiled, but his words sounded threatening. Nurse Pam put her hand on his chest. “Hey, big man, she’s not even a teenager. So maybe tone it down. Not everyone is a perp.”
I was loving Nurse Pam right then. I glanced past the scuffle by my bed toward the corridor. If the cops were here to see me, then Gaze must be bad off. They didn’t make time for small injuries. To come here to talk to me… it was extra effort for sure.
When I tuned back into the conversation, Nurse Pam was still moving Officer Sam toward the other end of the ER.
When she came back, she touched my forehead in such a motherly way it made me ache for my mom. My pre-Bic mom.
“Can I call your parents to pick you up?” She had a metal clipboard in her hands now and was jotting things down on it.
“No. I’ll get myself home.” I looked down at my hands. I didn’t have normal clothes and no funds to get on the subway. I leaned my head back and regarded the ceiling. “I was hoping Gaze and I would be going home together.”
She touched my arm above my bandages. “He’s not going to be out of surgery tonight. And he’s certainly not going home for a little bit. We have to make sure he’s all set for healing, you know?”
“Okay. I guess that makes sense. I was hoping to have him home tonight.” I pushed myself to sit, and Nurse Pam put her hand behind my back to support me.
“Where are you headed, sunshine?”
She looked skeptically at my gripper-socked feet that I swung out of the bed.
“I mean, you need me gone, right? Is that why you want to call my parents?” I slid the rest of the way out of the bed until I was standing. The size small scrubs were a little loose in the waist, so I gathered them in my less injured left hand.
“Hey. Relax for a bit. I have to get a cab home this morning, and I bet I drive right past your place. I’ll drop you off.” Nurse Pam inhaled deeply while she waited for me to make a decision.
I crawled back into the bed. She tucked the blankets around me and took my temperature and counted out my pulse. “You’re doing well. I’d just love to let your whole system just relax for a few hours. It’s been a big night, right?”
She was so comforting. So sure that the right thing was to stay in this clean, safe, warm bed. I nodded. I was losing my fight with fear and uncertainty. I closed my eyes. “Will you let me know if you hear anything about Gaze?”
“Sure thing. Just rest, baby doll.”
And then I was asleep.
Chapter 26
Pixie Rae
NURSE PAM WOKE me up. My neck was stiff from the way I had napped on it. Other muscles in my body ached as well. Crossing the ramp and fighting Gaze’s dad took more out of me than I thought.
“Gaze is out of surgery and he’s in recovery. He’s not awake yet. And he won’t be for a few days. They want to keep him sleeping so his body can heal.”
“But he’s going to be okay?” I was instantly awake now.
“He’s going to have a fight on his hands, but he’ll make it. You need to get home, take a shower, and sleep in your own bed for a few hours. You did your job, your friend is here. And safe.” Nurse Pam put a jacket around my shoulders. “On another note, I’m not supposed to take patients home, but the process to get you where you belong is long and drawn out and requires some paperwork with our friend Officer Sam. So, let’s just get you to your place. Do you have a key to get in?”
She put some shower sandals on the floor and I stuck my feet in them. They were too big, so I dragged them along. Nurse Pam ushered me to an employee exit.
“You’re not kidnapping me or anything, are you?”
Nurse Pam snorted. “No, sweetheart. I’ve got enough on my plate. Just want to get you home and end my shift.”
“I’m sorry. I…”
She put up a hand to stop me before draping it around my shoulders and pointing me in the direction of the taxis. The sun was coming up and one taxi seemed to be waiting just for her.
“Hey, Pam!”
“Hey, Dolores. I have a quick stop for us today. That okay?” Pam opened the rear door and motioned for me to get in. I slid across and put on my seatbelt with my good hand. Pam sat next to me and closed the door.
“Car’s still not fixed, huh?” Dolores pulled the taxi into the light traffic.
Their banter reassured me that Nurse Pam was indeed just a nice lady trying to get me home. I watched the hospital fade in the distance, the stoplights seeming to swallow it. Gaze’s dad was probably arrested, which was why he was blaming things on me. Which was impossible. Later today, I’d have to talk to Officer Sam, and the whole thought made me sigh. It was too much. I was missing school, and now I had to talk about Gaze and his special situation that he liked to keep private with other people.
I watched the sun come up over the river. It was glorious and had all the colors of cotton candy splashed around as a frame for the sun.
Nurse Pam interrupted my thoughts, “This the right place, Pixie?”
And we were just a few blocks from home. I nodded and pointed to the right streets to take before indicating which building was mine.
“How are you going to get in?” Pam pouted slightly.
“I’ll wake up Mrs. Chungus. She hates it, but she has the key to my place.” I watched out of the back window so I could time my door opening with when the traffic had cleared.
After all the commotion last night, the neighborhood was sleepy and grudgingly opening its eyes. The bagel shop had only managed to get their gate up halfway and customers were ducking under it to get their morning coffee.
I gave Nurse Pam an impulse hug and she hugged me back. “Hang in there, Pixie. We’ll stay here for a few minutes to make sure you get inside.”
I got to the front door and buzzed up to our third floor neighbor, Mrs. Chungus. She answered the intercom, cursing, “Who the hell is waking me up?”
“It’s Pixie Rae, Mrs. Chungus. I don’t have my key.” I expected the usually bellyaching that she gave me, but she and my mother had some sort of a deal, so she had to let me in.
“Okay. I’m coming.” I stood there waiting until I was buzzed up. I gave the waiting car a thumbs-up.
I forgot to say thank you. I forgot to give Nurse Pam her coat back, but I was inside and didn’t want to make Mrs. Chungus any angrier than I was anticipating her being.
She was waiting for me at her door with my extra key. I would use it now to get in and then slide it under Mrs. Chungus’ door later.
“You okay? I saw you go in the ambulance last night. That kid from next door finally fall off that thing you guys rigged up there?” She pointed in the direction of the ramp.
I took the key and shrugged. “I’ll bring the key back later. I need to shower and sleep.” I didn’t want to get into Gaze and my dangerous habits. It was not time for that.
Maybe I’d be considered rude for walking away and getting to the fifth floor without answering Mrs. Chungus’ question. But as I unlocked my door, I couldn’t find it in me to care what she thought.
When I went into the apartment, it was freezing. I walked through it until I found my window propped all the way open. I closed it and stood there, looking through it. All the things I could normally see in Gaze’s room were in disarray. His window was still open.
I sat down on the floor of my room and finally cried. Cried about it all. Seeing Mr. Jones so angry and out of his mind. Seeing him hurt Gaze and feeling every blow in my chest, right in the heart.
Did I take too long to get up the courage to walk the ramp? Was Gaze going to be hurt in a way that affects him the rest of his life? Was he going to be mad at me that I told?
I lay down on the floor and cried until I didn’t have any more tears left. It took a while.
Chapter 27
Pixie Rae
I MADE IT to my bed after my shower. I didn’t have any desire to eat, I was still too worried about Gaze. I called the hospital, but they were not allowed to give out updates on patients. Nurse Pam was also not there. They seemed suspicious that I didn’t have her last name, but it was what it was.
I lay in a clean set of pajamas and stared at my banged up hands. I had found a bruise on my shoulder that I hadn’t known was there and it hurt like a bitch. It was probably from when I hit the floor as I tumbled after kicking Mr. Jones’ head.
When I heard the door unlock, I froze. My mom wasn’t due home until the weekend.
Bic bellowed my name as he walked in the door. “Pixie! You here? Mrs. Chungus told Mom that you were in a scuffle or something.”
My door was open, which it never was usually, and Bic filled the doorframe. “There you are. You holding up? What the hell happened?”
“Where’s Mom?” I tried to peek around him.
“That’s the thanks I get? After all this? I come home early from Dallas and all you want is your ma? She still has work to do, so all you’re getting is me.”
I wanted to close my door. I never felt more alone in my life. No Mom. No Gaze. I took a deep breath. As I was about to start to tell him what happened, because I didn’t really have a choice, there was a knock on the front door.
“Hold that thought.” Bic acted like we had a special secret. I hated him.
“Yes, Officer. Pixie is right here, but before you talk to her, I think I need a few explanations myself.” Bic’s voice was loud. I had a horrible thought that maybe the police were here to tell me something bad had happened to Gaze. Well, that had already happened. Maybe something worse. I wrapped my blanket around me because I was in my pajamas.
When I got to the hallway, I could see Officer Sam in my living room. Bic was rocking back-and-forth from his heels to his toes.
“Hi, Pixie. I see you got home from the hospital okay. No one told me you were leaving.” Officer Sam had a pen and notebook in his hand this time.
“Wait. Hold up. You were at the hospital? What the hell did you do? You know the hospital is expensive. We can’t afford that at all.” Bic scanned me up and down again, eyes slowing their path when he saw a few of the bruises on my arms.
“I’m fine,” I bit off.
I loathed his eyes on me. I hated it even more when he had an excuse to really stare.
“Listen, Bic, mind if I have a few words with Pixie?” He stepped to the side. No more Nurse Pam here to protect me.
“Well, I don’t see how leaving my st
epdaughter here with you while not having one goddamn idea what she’s been up to is a great idea at all.” Bic pushed his chest out.
“You know, I’ve been called out a few times to local places that said you were setting up a deal with them, organizing construction for them, took deposits, and never showed back up. Know anything about that, Bic?”
The officer lifted his eyebrows. Bic shrugged his shoulders and got smaller.
“You know what, go ahead, have at her.” And he slunk off into the kitchen.
The officer turned to me. “How are you doing?”
His question was off-puttingly genuine.
I stammered, “I’m okay.”
“You look like you’ve been crying. Are you sure you’re not in pain?” His eyebrows pushed together.
“What do you need, Officer Sam?” I wasn’t interested in hearing his concern and didn’t have the wits about me to decide if it was a smart move. His uniform was making me nervous, though I guessed that was why the police wore it.
“I need you to tell me what happened yesterday. In detail. Down at the station.” He tapped his pen to the little notebook.
I ran my hand through my hair. It was still a little wet. “I’ll do that on one condition.”
“Okay.” He seemed amused that I had one.
“I want to see Gaze.” I had to tilt my chin up to meet his eyes.
“If I can determine you’re not a danger to him, I think I can arrange that.”
“He’s my best friend. I’d never hurt him.” As soon as the words were out of my mouth, they felt hollow. Telling other adults what Gaze had endured at home was going to hurt him.
“Let me get dressed into real clothes.”
Officer Sam nodded.
I had a quick impulse to escape out the window, but I quashed it. I hated going on the ramp last night, and I didn’t think I wanted to be tased by the officer when I didn’t listen.
It was time to make some hard choices.
Drowning in Stars Page 11