There was all of a sudden a lot riding on my shoulders. I was the natural leader for the team. That made Mark, the captain, jealous and sometimes petty. The good news was, I sank the ball into the basket enough times to show him up. Turned out, Ashlin was starting to date Mark. She showed up with friends that afternoon after class, watching from the pull-out bleachers.
Anytime my eyes were near Ashlin’s direction, she was looking back at me. Coach was getting frustrated not only with my distraction, but all the guys were looking over to the bleachers. Ashlin and her friends clearly used the after-school time to nope out of obeying the dress code. I was pretty sure Ashlin’s redheaded friend was wearing just a bra top.
“Out! Clear it out. This is a closed practice. You girls have to go. Enough.“ Coach Evans shooed them like annoying goats that were eating his flower garden.
“To imagine, you could’ve been hitting that the whole time you were here in this damn school.” Mark slapped my shoulder harder than necessary. “So glad you didn’t, though. Because she was hurting for some dick, and I have just what she needed.” Mark held his two fingers up to his mouth and let his tongue dart between them while grabbing his crotch.
“You’re trash-talking your own girlfriend now?”
Mark didn’t make any sense. He was great on defense, but he sucked at being a good dude, clearly.
“Just making sure you know what you missed out on.” Mark stopped himself from saying more, possibly aided by Greg’s warning hand to the center of his chest.
“Maybe play the fucking game and stop being a ten year old about gossip and drama,” I offered and held up my hands for the ball Greg had passed to Mark. He threw it harder than necessary, but I didn’t let it show. My reflexes were dependably quick. I didn’t even remember processing the ball’s movement before I was holding it.
And that was my golden ticket. I was amazing at this game. Even if I was having a bad day, I was better than every single player on the team. And on my good days? I was like having three guys on the team. I was everywhere, cutting off passing lines, taking shots, making aggressive offenses turn into points. They needed me as they stepped closer to the finals. So when I stopped engaging Mark, the rest of the team kept him quiet. Some of them remembered how Pixie and I were as kids. Each other’s sun and shadow at the same time.
I thought of her out there with Austin, getting a dress together for prom. I was looking forward to it, even if I had to fight every freaking guy in the building for her to have a good time.
Chapter 56
Pixie
AUSTIN HELD AN armful of dresses at the thrift store. I had a jacket/pants combo that he promised would look amazing when he was done with it. At the register there was a bin of fabric scraps, and he snagged an embroidered piece with some matte metal sequins on it.
“This is exactly what we needed. The universe provides, Kitten.” The store clerk put everything in a clear trash bag and Austin wrapped his arms around the bundle. “I feel like I can already see the whole damn thing.”
When we were walking home, Austin bumped into my shoulder. “What’s going on upstairs there? You look deep in thought.”
“Just trying to figure out if Ashlin and her friends will somehow ruin this for me.” I pressed the crosswalk button.
“Gaze’ll be right there. And he’s only got eyes and ears for you. For the past three years, you were pretty much brought up daily. He’s going to be in heaven going to the prom with you.” Austin and I crossed the walk. I could smell the hot pretzels cooking in the cart at the end of the street.
“Really? I kind of pictured him putting me out of his mind while he was having a great time with you guys. He’s told me so many stories.” After splitting up to allow an older couple holding hands to walk between us, we recovered our conversation.
“Oh, every day. He’d loop something we did back to you. Always. He never forgot you. Hell, I felt like I was meeting a celebrity when we were introduced.” We made it to the apartment building. I couldn’t help myself and tossed a glance in the direction of my old apartment. Bic was in the window of my old room. “This way, Kitten. Look forward.” I turned to Austin and his kind eyes were waiting with a tinge of understanding.
After setting my shoulders back, I listened to him and we walked into Gaze’s building. I hated how much the window from Gaze’s room to mine pulled on me. Bic was the monster in the dark for me, and he was there as clear as day. Waiting. Of course, the curtains were closed now, the window shut tight no matter how hot it got. Gaze never complained.
Austin’s empathy moved me, though, as if he could sense where my attention was hogging. “How about we check out this haul in my room for a little while? We guessed at some of these sizes.”
Hanging the dresses on hangers from various things around his room created modified mannequins. “Okay. So I want you to try on each of these.”
I took the white dress with the sparkles and it fit nicely. I came out of the bathroom and whirled for Austin while he bit his index finger. “The way that hangs is perfect. Just what we needed. Okay, take it off.”
I handed the white dress out of the door. Austin took it, but instead of handing me another dress, he said, “Get dressed, Kitten. The other dress is just for parts.”
It made me laugh and I closed the door. I had only heard of cars being used for parts, so I was interested how the rest of our purchases would handle their fate.
When I came out, Austin was already into deconstructing the deep purple dress with the high-low train. He seemed sure about his scissors as he cut away the bodice and skirt.
“Okay, over here I have a pile of safety pins. I want you to take that sequin fabric and make it like an overlay on the front of the white dress. Just put it where you think it might look good.”
Safety pins didn’t seem very permanent, so I did my best arranging the sequins in a V shape over the front of the dress.
Austin came behind me and held the purple train up to my hips. “Little shorter. Needs a finish on the band.”
I didn’t ask what he meant because he seemed like he was in the zone.
“Okay. Now, I have to add all the pieces up and see if we’re crazy or not.” He took the train to the hanging white dress with the overlay. After even more safety pins, he had a shape on the dress. “What do you think?”
It was hard to see what he was seeing. I mean, certainly there was something there. But the way it hung didn’t really look like a dress. “Hard to tell.”
He squinted. “Yeah. I think we need to shape the overlay.”
And then Austin and his scissors were confident friends again. The bits of fabric floated to the floor and the sequins he was slicing through shot around the room like cartoon bullets. I ducked a few times. Then, he had a mouthful of straight pins and wiggled his eyebrows at me.
I sat on his bed after a bit, waiting to see what he needed from me next. When he finally stepped back, he seemed pleased with himself. “We’ve got it. Can I trouble you to put this on again? I may have to help you with the zipper because it’s got a few pins around it. Are you comfortable with that?”
“Oh yeah. That’ll be okay.” I really did feel comfortable with Austin. It made me wonder about the rest of the family. Were they all this unique and outgoing?
After I retreated to the bathroom a second time, I was able to get the dress over my head. I felt a few scraps of metal from the pins, but nothing poked me.
I walked out with the back unzipped. Austin looked at me in a very clinical way before swirling his index finger for me to turn. I grabbed my hair and pulled it over my shoulder to give him a clear path to the zipper.
He tugged it up and adjusted the bodice slightly. “Okay, turn again.”
I tossed my hair over my shoulder and spun on my heel.
He put his hands together and touched his fingertips to his lips. “Oh, Kitten. You look beyond.”
After stepping out of the way of the mirror, I saw what had moved him so. The
configuration of this dress was literally perfect for me. I looked taller, but regal. My figure was elegant. The ragged hem of the overlay rested against my skin and highlighted how soft it was.
“Holy crap. This is magic.” I felt a huge grin spread across my face. “Wow. Wow. Wow!”
Austin high-fived himself then me. “Gaze isn’t going to know what hit him.”
He dug into his pocket and pulled out his phone. “Speak of the devil. You good? He has to go to the team dinner at the coach’s house. You and I can work on this if you want?”
I couldn’t imagine how much more we needed to do, but it was fine. “We can do that.”
Austin’s smile pulled sparkles into his deep brown eyes. “Let’s do it.”
Chapter 57
Gaze
I WAS HAPPY that Pixie and Austin were getting on. The social setting here at Coach’s house was tense. And I figured that was why he called this emergency spaghetti dinner. With prom looming this weekend, and all the senior stuff piling up, he wanted us to really focus on the game. Tomorrow was the tournament. Mike had told me that a few scouts were making their way to my school to watch me play to try to get them to be reassured despite my brief run-in with the law for punching Roe. He’d sent in a selection of videos of me playing previously. They were interested enough to agree to come to the games tomorrow. Mark cornered me after I filled my plate. “Ashlin said she saw Pixie buying her prom dress in a thrift store. Like pieces of it.”
I gave him the evil eye. “Sounds like Ashlin needs a hobby.” I did my best to step away from him. Getting in a fight now would likely get me off the team. I needed to play in the next game, but it was like Mark knew I was hardwired into Pixie. I needed to keep her safe, even if it was just her name in his throat.
Coach came up to me, holding out a basket of garlic bread. “Listen, Gaze. Can I get you to meet me outside on the patio? I really want to have a word.”
I hoped it wasn’t the end of the line for me. I swallowed hard as Mark started snickering behind me.
After I closed the sliding glass door behind us, I asked, “What’s up, Coach?”
“I know Mark is giving you a hard time right now. Trying to stir up some girl drama.” Coach shuffled the breadbasket to his other hand. “This tournament is really going to be one that matters for you. I can count on one hand the amount of times I’ve had scouts come to a game. Especially this late in the year.”
I nodded. There was a thin line between being a snitch and warning the coach about shit that was going down.
“You’ve got real potential, but you need those guys to play their hearts out for you. Even Mark. You understand?” He put his hand on my shoulder.
I nodded and said nothing. I’d take what I had to to make sure that the coach, Mike, and Pixie were proud of me. And I didn’t tell anyone, but what Pixie had been through meant more than the scouts and my scholarship. She was my first priority.
“Now have a carb. Save me because I want to eat this whole basket.” Coach sighed while he looked at the bread.
Chapter 58
Pixie
THERE WAS ACTUALLY a lot more to do with Austin. We picked out a hairstyle and a make up style and we dug through my shoes to find a set of pumps that would work. Austin plucked sequins off the unused fabric and we organized them and hot-glued them onto the shoes while watching a crime drama on his phone. Minutes before Gaze hit the front door, we had tucked all of the prom stuff inside Austin’s closet.
We stood in the doorway pretending to be bored when he walked in. He was in a hoodie and basketball shorts, shower shoes on, and sneakers tossed over his shoulder.
“How was the getting? Good? Did you ball the basket?” Austin pulled on my hand and we walked to the couch.
Gaze lazily scratched his stomach, flashing his ridiculous abs. “Don’t pretend you don’t kick ass on the court. You’ve got the reach of Sasquatch.”
Austin put his arms in the air. “Oh, please. Like your arms aren’t the longest thing about you.”
Gaze held out one arm. Austin stood next to him and did the same movement. Then it was left up to me to be the judge. I pushed myself up and circled them while they trash-talked each other about arm length.
“Your arms are so long you can tie your shoes without sitting down.” Austin said.
“That might be so, but I can take five steps back and slap the wise outta your ass. And my arms are still shorter than yours.” Gaze play-slapped at Austin. Then Austin caught Gaze’s arm and took him straight to the floor. They started wrestling and I abandoned my job immediately to hop on the couch.
There were groans and grunts for a while. I had to laugh, because although they were throwing each other around, they were super careful to not actually hurt each other. Just like real siblings that liked each other.
Eventually, I jumped off the couch and skittered into the kitchen. I found a pot and a spoon and started banging it in their direction. “Knock it off! You’re going to get the neighbors to call the cops!”
Gaze scrambled up from the floor and grabbed me in a hug, also stopping the pot and spoon alarm system I’d hastily manufactured.
“Crap, Pix. You’re going to wake the dead.” And he didn’t mean it. He wasn’t trying to get that thought in my head, but we knew each other. I was thinking about Mom immediately. I wondered if my life would ever be in such a way that conjuring up her image in my head would give me comfort instead of pain.
“Hey.” I saw the regret in his face. “Sorry. So sorry.”
Austin sensed the mood change and lifted himself up from the floor. “I’m going to throw in some laundry down the hall. Anybody need anything done?” He didn’t give us a chance to answer before he was out the door—without any clothes.
I let go of the pot and pan, and Gaze palmed them, keeping them from hitting the floor.
“It’s okay. It’s a common saying. I have to get used to this stuff.” I shrugged.
“No. Not from me you don’t. Come on into our room and let’s talk.” He tugged on my hand gently.
As we trudged over, it hit me that he smelled nice. It wasn’t always the case when he got back from basketball practice. “You shower at the coach’s house?”
“No. His wife says that it’s the price of dinner—all of us shower in the locker rooms. Everyone has to pass a sniff check. She’s been in the coach’s wife business for a long time.” Gaze led me to the bed, and after I sat, he put his things away before sitting across from me.
“How was practice?” I watched his face, trying to put my mind right here, right now and not missing my mom.
“It was fine.” He looked down and to the left. Lying.
“Now tell me what really happened.” Gaze seemed to get along with his teammates pretty well. I knew they were amazed at his skills, but sometimes that also spurred jealousy.
He peered up at me, deep brown eyes seeing so much. “Ashlin is dating Mark.”
“She moves fast.” I leaned back against the wall, pulling my legs up so I could hug them.
“Yeah, well, she has a hard-on for you. I’m not sure what about.” He kicked off his shower shoes.
“She had a lot of pent-up feelings in middle school. Maybe she had a crush on you then, too. That might make sense as to why she’s trying so hard. But if she’s dating Mark, how does that bring you and me into it?” I pulled my hair over my shoulder.
“It’s weird. He was like gassing himself up, trying to get me to say I wanted to be with Ashlin. You’d think that’d be the last thing he’d say.” Gaze stood and unzipped his hoodie. I should be used to the muscles. But in the sleeveless tank, just watching his arms move could have been a TV show. Riveting.
He climbed up next to me on the bed. We’d done this so many times, but something had changed tonight. Maybe getting the prom dress ready for him had done it. I laid my head on his shoulder, humming a bit, happy he was here.
I turned my head just a little more and sniffed his bicep. Clean. Gaze. I kiss
ed the skin there as if I’d done it a million times. Grateful for him. Grateful to him.
“Pixie.” His voice was much deeper now than when we were kids.
I heard the confusion and warning in his tone. My heart wasn’t racing, well, it was, but not in a way that made me scared. I kissed his arm again.
Every muscle on him tensed like he was about to jump.
I looked up from my spot cuddled next to him. “Are you okay?”
His face was a mixture of hope and terror. “Just. I just want you to know that you don’t have to do this kind of stuff with me if you don’t want to.”
“What do you mean?” I let go of his arm and felt embarrassment crawl up my spine. Oh. Oh. Maybe he didn’t like me like that. And what I’d just done was considered making a pass at him.
Bic’s voice slithered into my mind, “You’re lucky, girl. No man’ll ever want you. You’re lucky I’m willing to work with you.”
Gaze slipped off the bed and kneeled in front of me. “I love you.”
I clenched thinking of the word, but… my mind scrambled with ways to make the arm kiss into something playful.
“I’ve loved you for years. Every day. And I know what you’ve been through.” Gaze had tears in his eyes. He wiped at one that had escaped. “I’ll be here every day you want me to be. We never have to do anything.”
I watched him. He loved me. I knew that already. Hell, I loved him. But he was talking love love.
It must have been a full minute before I knew what to do. I leaned forward… close, closer, eyes on his full lips. I wanted a kiss. I was almost eighteen, and I wanted a kiss that wouldn’t hurt me. And Gaze was the only one in the world who could give that to me.
He held himself stock-still, the muscles in his forearms rock hard. And then I gave him a sweet, soft kiss. His mouth didn’t move, so I moved my lips instead. I slid off the bed, and then he caught me so I wouldn’t hit the floor. I kissed him once. I kissed him twice. I pulled back a bit to look in his face. I lifted my eyebrow. Was I off base? Was I ruining the most important relationship in my life?
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