by Anita Notaro
She was smiling at me now as I walked towards them all, pulling my warm cream stole around my shoulders. Colette had helped me to buy it, ensuring that it matched my dress. ‘And feathers are very directional,’ she’d joked. I was glad I had it now, because even though it was spring, there was still a chill in the air. Colette was the first to break away from the crowd, grinning at me and holding a sports bag aloft in her hand. I nodded, and pretending to ignore everyone for a moment, darted towards a clearing in the woods.
‘You look as if you’re taking a loo break,’ she joked, as she ducked between two huge horse chestnuts, their leaves almost fully out. ‘Right, got the cream Jimmy Choos, but only on loan, so for God’s sake don’t get grass stains on them,’ she said as she helped me to unlace my boots and slip my feet into the gorgeous silk shoes.
I gasped. ‘They’re fabulous, Colette!’
She grinned up at me as she tied the strap around my ankle. ‘That’s what six hundred euro will get you, pet.’ And then she looked at my leg. ‘Crap, you’ve got a sock mark on your ankle,’ she chided me. ‘Honestly, did you have to wear woolly hiking socks on your wedding day?’
She rubbed my ankle frantically, trying to remove the red elastic mark around it, until I stopped her. ‘Colette, I had to wear my boots to get up here, and anyway, no one’s going to be looking at my ankles.’
‘I’ll know, though, won’t I? And I won’t be able to concentrate on the ceremony, thinking that you have two big red marks around your legs which make you look like a football player. I won’t even be able to concentrate on that brother of Niall’s. He’s a bit of all right, isn’t he?’
‘Colette …’
She looked at me and gave that cheeky grin beneath her pixie haircut, her dark eyes dancing. She was so pretty, Colette, so fun and lively. She’d actually make a good match for Matt, I thought.
‘So what? He looks kinda dangerous, don’t you think? I like that in a man.’ She giggled.
‘Oh, for God’s sake.’ I rolled my eyes to heaven. ‘Don’t make a show of me, please?’
‘Would I? On your wedding day?’ She looked innocent for a moment, as she pulled herself upright, until she was standing in front of me, in her deep-blue dress, the colour of irises. And then she was serious for a moment, taking my hands in hers. ‘Antonia, you look beautiful, radiant. Niall is a very lucky man, elastic marks or not.’
‘Thanks, Colette,’ I said, accepting her outstretched hands. ‘It means a lot to me, coming from you. Thanks for everything. I owe you such a lot—’
She waved her hand and I could see there were tears in her eyes. ‘Don’t start, will you? Weddings make me weepy.’
And then Mary was beside me, golden and beautiful in her bridesmaid’s dress, my bouquet in her hand. ‘All set?’
I nodded, and made my way towards the huddle of people gathered at the top of the mountain, towards my family. Sister Monica was there, having been escorted by Niall’s father, who was as keen a mountaineer as Niall, and Billy and Eithne and Betty and Bridget, who’d put their differences aside for a moment just to smile at me. I’d even invited Damien, with Niall’s blessing. They hadn’t really spoken since the nightclub incident, but it was more out of embarrassment than anything. Niall couldn’t get over the loss of control, and Damien was mortified that he’d been a drunken eejit. But Damien and I had really gelled as a songwriting partnership, and as I’d got to know him I’d realized that underneath all that silly stuff was a really nice guy, and a talented one too. We’d become friends, proper ones, and I was delighted that Damien had invited his girlfriend Maureen. She was a beautiful blonde dancer he’d met at Wembley, to whom he’d given his number – of course – except that, unlike all the other girls he’d given it to, she’d had the nerve to ring him a month later and ask him out. And the rest was history.
‘I’m off the market.’ He’d grinned at me when, at the end of one of our recording sessions, he’d told me that they’d started seeing each other. ‘Are you devastated?’
‘My life will never be the same again,’ I’d said, putting my hand on my heart, and we’d both exploded with laughter. But I was pleased for Damien, as pleased as I’d be for any little brother.
Only Karen wasn’t there. Our friendship, such as it was, had cooled since I’d come back from London. Just because we had spent so much time together hadn’t meant we were friends, I suppose, but it was more than that. I think she was disappointed in me, somehow, felt that I hadn’t got what it took to last in the business. Maybe she was right, but I knew that I had to succeed on my terms.
Maurice was waiting for me, to escort me to the altar, wearing a grey suit which looked too small for him, and which he’d probably borrowed, being too cheap to actually buy one. Maurice, I’d learned, was very careful with his money, which I suppose wasn’t a bad trait in a manager. He’d been chuffed to be asked. ‘Sure, none of my daughters will get married, they’re all happy to live in sin, God help them. So it’d be an honour,’ he’d said. Maurice had become a friend over the past year, a friend and a father figure, and I knew I could trust him. I was getting better at that, knowing who to trust, I thought, as Maurice tucked his arm into mine and winked, turning so that we both faced forward.
And then we walked to where Niall was waiting for me, at the makeshift altar – a clearing of stone at the top of the waterfall – Colette and Mary, my bridesmaids, behind me. Niall was standing with Matt, Father O’Hanlon in front of them. Matt was grinning, of course, but Niall had an anxious look on his face and was hopping from foot to foot, but he looked so handsome in an open-necked shirt and smart black trousers. No ties, we’d both agreed. It wasn’t that kind of wedding.
‘It’s OK,’ I mouthed as I reached him, and he managed a nervous smile.
Maurice melted away into the background, and Niall reached out and took my hand, squeezing it briefly and tightly in his. ‘You look beautiful. Stunning,’ he whispered.
All of a sudden, I couldn’t answer. There was a lump in my throat, and I felt the tears spring to my eyes. After everything that had happened in the last year and a bit, here I was. It was another one of those moments, a moment that would change my life for ever and for the better, I knew that. I felt that I was the luckiest woman in the whole world.
‘Ready?’ Niall said, scanning my face for any trace of second thoughts.
I smiled at him, to reassure him, and I could see the corners of his eyes crinkle in that way I loved as he relaxed.
‘I’m ready.’
Acknowledgements
Sadly, Anita became ill shortly after completing this novel. Her husband, Gerry, has written the following tribute and acknowledgements.
Anita always felt that to complete a book and have it published was not just down to professional assistance but also to the advice of friends and loved ones who played such an important part in her life, so, naturally, she would want to thank them all. Now that she is ill I am attempting to do this on her behalf.
To begin with Anita would want to say that she would not have written a single word were it not for Patricia Scanlan who initially spurred her on to risk everything, to follow her dream, and who has been a friend ever since.
She would hate it if I forgot to mention the team at Transworld for all their support. In 2002, editor Francesca Liversidge left a phone message to enquire about more chapters of Back After The Break, and that happy partnership was responsible for her first four books. She saw Anita’s potential as a writer and Anita treasured her. Linda Evans took over as editor in 2009 and has been hugely supportive. Thanks, too, to Larry Finlay, who has given Anita great support over the years, and to Eoin McHugh at Transworld Ireland. It’s been a rollercoaster of a decade.
Marianne Gunn O’Connor agreed to represent her and right up to this moment continues in the role of both agent and friend. The close bond between them proves that you can combine business and friendship. Thanks to Vicki Satlow and Pat Lynch in Marianne’s office who have always been a hu
ge support.
Anita was never shy of doing publicity and Declan Heeney and Helen Gleed O’Connor at Gill Hess Ltd took full advantage and made sure she was on the promotional trail as each publication date approached. Thanks also to Simon and Gill Hess for all their hard work on her behalf.
RTÉ meant so much to her for nearly twenty years and she continues to be supported by ex-colleagues, Claudia Carroll in particular.
As a couple we’ve been very lucky that we both came to the relationship with great friends whom we now both share. Everyone has supported Anita throughout her literary career but in particular this book benefited from the warm and caring relationships she has with all the Brittas Bay wives. Her next book would have been about them all and would have been her best ever. However, particular hugs have to go to Judy, Mary, Karen and my sister-in-law Claire who helped us carry on when things started to get complicated.
Anita’s dad, Mark, died shortly after she turned twenty and her mum, Teresa, died six weeks after we were married. They were such a good influence on Anita and she prayed for them both every night. Teresa also brought up three other girls, Madeline, Lorraine and Jean, who have all been amazing through good times and now through bad. Three special sisters that Anita loves wholeheartedly.
My dad, Arthur, never failed to turn up with a bouquet of flowers for Anita to celebrate all the good times in her life. He is immensely proud of her success and bought many copies of each book so that Anita could sign them for his friends. She loved cooking for him, she loved hearing his stories about the cinema business and mostly she loved the fact that he was always there for her.
As our situation has changed we now rely on the kindness of other people, and Edel, Berni and Sally bring care, comfort and relaxation to our daily lives. Myself and Anita simply could not keep going without them.
Throughout life we all have intense relationships that come and go and if we are lucky we have some that never go away. Anita is blessed with the friendships of people who have always relied on her support and who have given theirs freely over many years. Anita always enjoyed that Ursula, Dave, Caroline, Niamh and Dee remained an important part of her life but Derv is the one, the BF, that she could never be away from for too long. They shared so many things over the years. Derv is everywhere in our house. They continue to have an amazing connection.
The good thing about writing these acknowledgements is that I can thank Anita herself. She has brought joy to everyone she has met and has given of her time selflessly. She has always had such an interest in everything that was important, and the clarity of thought not to be concerned about things that didn’t matter. I thank her from the bottom of my broken heart for her love, her trust, her company, her laughter and the experiences we’ve had together.
Anita has always loved writing. She was always thrilled that people wanted to read her words. She always felt privileged to be able to get lost in her stories and was delighted when readers got in touch to tell her what they thought. She knew that her readers were the most important people when she set out to write each book. On her behalf I thank you all for being a part of this journey. It would be her sincere wish that you enjoy this final book.
About the Author
Anita Notaro is a writer, journalist and television producer/director. She has worked for RTE for twenty years and has been the drama director on Fair City, as well as directing the Eurovision Song Contest, the Irish General Election and programmes for the BBC and Channel 4. She is the author of five previous novels, one of which – Take A Look At Me Now – won the Popular Fiction Book of the Year Award in 2008 at the Irish Book Awards.
Also by Anita Notaro
Back After the Break
Behind the Scenes
The WWW Club
Take a Look at Me Now
No Ordinary Love
TRANSWORLD IRELAND
An imprint of The Random House Group Limited
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First published in 2012 by Transworld Ireland,
a division of Transworld Publishers
Copyright © Anita Notaro 2012
Anita Notaro has asserted her right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.
This book is a work of fiction and, except in the case of historical fact, any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
Version 1.0 Epub ISBN 9781409030096
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