by Claire Luana
“My talents lie elsewhere,” she said, her face coloring as soon as the words left her mouth. She hadn’t meant it to sound like that.
“What comes naturally to you?” he asked, mercifully letting the moment pass.
“Healing,” she said. “Through moonlight, medicine, or herbs.”
“That suits you. Is that what you would do if you were not your mother’s heir?”
It was a heady thought—to be a regular moonburner. Or a regular woman. To heal, to help, to live a life free to make her own choices. It was a dream she dared not dream.
She turned to him then, her eyes finally catching his. She stared at him, choking on the words she longed to say. His expression was careful and neutral, but beneath, there was longing. Suddenly she was caught up in the dream. A free life. A free life with him.
She didn’t answer his question. She finally tore her eyes from his, bringing them back to the ring. Her friend Nanase had finished her sparring, and was watching her, wiping her brow with a towel. She raised an eyebrow slightly at Azura.
“Let’s go,” Azura said, avoiding Nanase’s questioning look. “More to see.”
Their tour continued with the library. The fireplaces were dark and the rows of books were quiet as Azura led Takeo into the cavernous space. Master Vita must be elsewhere. They walked through the grand room and Takeo took it all in—the row of high windows letting in moonlight, the impossibly tall shelves filled with multi-colored volumes. The heels of his boots sounded on the tiles of the floor, echoing in the silent room.
“Are there books on Kita?” he asked. “I wonder what they say about us.”
“Of course,” she said. “There are books on everything.” She was familiar with the cataloguing system, and so she led him down a dark row, to the shelves that housed the books on Kita and the sunburners. “I’m not sure how accurate they are.”
When she turned around, her heart skittered, and she realized her mistake. His outstretched arm rested against the row of books, blocking her path.
“Wilea,” he said softly. “Azura. Why did you hide your identity from me?”
She swallowed thickly. She couldn’t stop herself from examining the planes of his face, the thin lines around his mouth that hinted of past smiles and laughter, the strong muscles and sinew of the arm outstretched before her.
“I just…sometimes I need to get away. From what it means to be Azura. I didn’t know you were the King’s captain. I didn’t know we would…” She trailed off.
“What am I to do now?” he said. He ran his hands through his flaxen hair and turned from her, pacing away from her before turning and closing the distance. “Regardless of what you might think, I don’t just go around kissing strangers in meadows.”
“Neither do I,” she said, shaking her head.
“When I got into the city, you were all I could think about. I saw your face in every window I passed, I saw it every time I closed my eyes. And now… am I supposed to stand back and watch you marry Ozora? Knowing…”
“Knowing what?” she asked, her voice small. She knew she shouldn’t have said it. She should have run from here, run from him.
“Knowing that I have already fallen in love with you.”
He kissed her then, pressing his lips to hers, rocking her body back against the bookshelves. He filled her senses, tasting of menthe, smelling of leather. She wrapped her arms around him, running her hands over the muscles of his back, twining her fingers in his curly golden hair. She pulled him closer, letting him explore her mouth and envelop her in his warmth. It seemed she couldn’t pull him close enough.
A tiny voice in the back of her head told her to stop, told her it was madness. But it didn’t matter. She didn’t care. Her better judgment was powerless before the sweet warmth spreading deep inside her. She had obeyed and followed orders all her life and what had it gotten her? She had never felt as alive as she did in this moment.
He pulled away abruptly. She practically whimpered from the space that rushed in between them.
“Is that…” he asked, holding a finger up to indicate silence.
Footsteps. Close. Adrenaline flooded her body and she stepped back from him, wiping her mouth hastily.
“Azura? Is that you?” A figure appeared at the end of the row, spectacles lowered on his nose as he examined them.
“Master Vita!” she said, a bit too brightly. “May I introduce Takeo, captain of King Ozora’s guard.” She strode out of the row, Takeo in her wake. “My mother asked me to give him the tour,” she explained. She willed her heart to cease its staccato rhythm.
“I asked the lady to show me the books on sunburners,” Takeo added.
See? She thought. Nothing suspicious here.
“Pleasure to meet you, Takeo,” Master Vita said slowly, looking back and forth between them. “You are very welcome at the citadel. If I can be of assistance while you are here, please let me know.”
“Thank you,” Takeo said, inclining his head.
“Lots more to see,” Azura said cheerfully. “Come on, Takeo.”
“That was close,” he mouthed as they walked out the library doors, into the courtyard.
Azura had never realized how many hidden places the citadel held, but it seemed that she and Takeo found every one of them on their tour. By the time she led him back to the guest wing, her lips were sore and her heart was flying. She was in serious trouble.
“My chambers are right up that hallway,” he said with a devilish grin, as they paused in the antechamber of the wing. “Third door on the right.”
“I can’t imagine why I would need such information,” she said, grinning back.
He ran his thumb over the palm of her hand as they stood, drawing a shiver from her. For a moment she was torn. She couldn’t accompany him to his room, could she? It was madness! Yet…
“Takeo! Keeping the best company for yourself, are you?” a brash voice called from the doorway.
They stepped apart hastily and turned to meet the newcomer. Part of her was cross at the interruption, the other part relieved that the choice had been pulled from her grasp.
A huge sunburner that she had seen at the feast strode across the room, bowing deeply before her. “We were not formally introduced princess,” he said. “I am Ipan.”
“A pleasure,” she said. “I trust you are enjoying your stay here?”
“Most definitely,” he said. “I hate to interrupt, but the king is finished with his meetings and requested Takeo’s presence. I hope you don’t mind me stealing him from you.”
“Of course not,” she said. “We were just finishing our tour. I wouldn’t want to keep him from his duties.”
“Excellent,” Ipan said, clapping Takeo on the shoulder. “Let’s go.”
CHAPTER 8
Takeo
The days and nights stuttered forward in starts and stops. Takeo’s time with Azura flashed by like the wind, while those hours without her stretched painfully. Takeo’s duties with the king kept him busy each night: sitting in on strategy sessions, studying the Miinan style of burning with his men and Headmistress Lakota, shaking hands and making small talk with an endless parade of Miinan nobles at dinners, concerts, and theater shows each dawn. During those long hours, his mind was filled with thoughts of her, her tinkling laugh, the taste of honey on her lips, the silken feel of her skin under his hands.
When each long night was over, though some part of him cried out for a few hours of uninterrupted sleep, he surrendered to the insistent demands of his heart. They met in a dusty unused classroom that was doubling as a storage closet. Azura had chosen it for its proximity to the guest quarters, and had shown him how to slink to and from his rooms through the back alley behind the building. The classroom was filled with a tangle of tables and chairs, statutes and sofas. They had fashioned a little nest from a pile of rugs, sofa cushions and blankets. It was there that Takeo explored every inch of Azura, devouring each new sensation of her body under his, and then each new
piece of information she revealed as they lay in each other’s arms, sweaty and breathless.
“You’re like the moon,” he said one night, as he twined his fingers lazily though hers.
“What do you mean?” she asked.
“Every night I see a little more of you. I think someday I may be blessed to see it all.”
“Oh, you’ve seen the full moon,” she joked, pulling the blanket a bit further over herself.
“That’s not what I mean, though I certainly do enjoy the view of that full moon.”
“Well, if I’m the moon, that means that soon you will start to see less and less of me, until you don’t see anything at all.” As soon as she said it, she fell silent, as if realizing the weight of her words.
“Then you’re better than the moon,” he said. “My own private moon. Once it waxes, it never wanes.”
“I like that,” she said softly. “You must be my sun, then.”
“Why is that?” he asked.
“Because you think the world revolves around you.” She flicked his nose as he roared with laughter.
They settled back down into each other, her head resting in the hollow of his shoulder.
“I love you, my moon,” he murmured.
“I love you too, sun,” she replied.
They laid in each other’s arms until the sun began to set. Then, it was time to make their way back to their separate quarters and ready themselves for another unbearable night apart.
CHAPTER 9
Takeo
Seven days after they arrived at the citadel, Takeo found himself in what might qualify as his own private hell. It was the king’s idea: a pre-dawn ride out from the citadel gates, through the countryside below the citadel and Kyuden. Takeo’s head was thick and slow, his sleep-deprivation manifesting like a perpetual hangover. Takeo felt sick with the knowledge that he and Azura wouldn’t be able to spend tonight together—that he would be robbed of the precious few hours in which she belonged to him. The sunburners were scheduled to return to Kita in a few days’ time, a fact which further soured his mood. How could he leave her behind?
Before him rode the king and Azura, chatting amiably. A furtive glance over her shoulder was the only acknowledgment she gave him. He ached for her. Takeo now regarded the king, who he had grown up with and considered a brother, with a sort of bubbling primal hatred. He wanted to close the distance between them, tear the king from his horse, and pummel his face for the sly way he looked at Azura, for his smooth innuendos and suave compliments.
But that wasn’t the worst of it. Next to Takeo rode Airi, who had taken to him like a leech to bare flesh. She stayed glued to his side, chattering about this or that: the citadel, the moonburners, the food, the dresses, the festivals, and on and on. He grunted from time to time, hardly listening, his eyes fixed on Azura’s form before him. His monosyllabic reactions seemed to be enough to keep Airi going. A small part of him felt guilty. Airi must be a nice enough girl, and not bad to look at if he examined her in an abstract sense. She deserved an honorable man who would treat her with kindness and grant her his full attention. But he wasn’t that man. Because she wasn’t Azura. He was ruined for other women.
Bako tripped sideways under him and Takeo jolted, his thighs gripping the saddle to stay erect. Bako was as sure-footed as a mountain goat, which meant he had tripped on purpose. Takeo looked at Airi and found her waiting with an expectant look on her face.
“I’m sorry my lady, what was your question?” he admitted.
“I asked if sunburners are allowed to marry,” she said demurely. “You see, moonburners are not allowed. It is presumed that thoughts of family and love will sway them from devotion to their queen. Although the queen does make exceptions for…political alliances.”
He swallowed. Why did he feel like a mouse being eyed by a cat? “Sunburners are allowed to marry, and have families,” he admitted. “Many do.”
“Some days I doubt anyone will tie our Takeo down,” Ipan laughed from behind them. “Many a pretty lass has tried to catch his eye, without much luck.” Takeo turned to give him a look.
“I myself,” Ipan went on, “look forward to finding a wife to marry and bear my children.” Ipan sent an appraising look sideways to Nanase, Azura’s friend who had been invited along on their outing.
Takeo stifled a chuckle. Talk of bearing children seemed like the wrong approach with fierce Nanase.
Nanase apparently agreed, her small silver braids swaying as she shook her head. “I will never marry,” she declared. “Or have children. How could I fight if I’m fat with child?”
“There is more to life than fighting,” Ipan said. “Especially if this peace accord goes as we all hope. We’ll all have to find new ways to spend our time.”
“Not me,” Nanase muttered.
Takeo turned forward with a smile and found Airi watching him. She was always watching him. “Is it true what Ipan says? That there has never been a woman to catch your eye?” she asked.
“My duties are very important to me,” he said, looking ahead, but trying to keep his eyes from resting on Azura’s fine backside. “A wife would only get in the way.”
“Perhaps that will change once we are at peace,” she said.
“Perhaps,” he said, without much conviction.
They stopped for breakfast along the bank of the Nozuchi River. The sun was beginning to rise, a warm sliver above the horizon. The conversation was pleasant enough, but he couldn’t shake Airi. She found any excuse to touch him—a flick to brush an invisible bit of dust off his shirt, a touch of her hand against his as they both reached for the bowl of fruit laid out on the blanket. Azura hid her emotions carefully, but when he caught her eye, pain flashed across her face. Her sister’s efforts were not lost on her.
Takeo stifled a sigh. He didn’t dare offend the girl, as the sunburners’ position here was precarious. But having Airi drape herself across him when all he wanted was Azura was torture. Not to mention the king draping himself across Azura. Just this moment he was trying to feed Azura a ripe strawberry.
Finally, when Takeo could stand it no longer, he excused himself.
“I’ll be back,” he said, clearing his throat, making it clear that he needed a moment of privacy.
He walked around a bend and into the wooded copse that flanked the stretch of green parallel to the river. In the distance, through a break in the trees, the rainbow spray from the waterfall glistened where the Nozuchi River cascaded down from the city and onto the green fields below. Miina really was beautiful country.
Takeo relieved himself and after doing up his trousers leaned against a tree, breathing deeply and closing his eyes. He had always been a planner, overcoming life’s challenges with discipline and hard work. But since he had met Azura, his life had become a swirling riptide that threatened to drag him under; it was all he could do to cling to the rock of each day.
They would only remain in Kyuden a few more days. After which they would return home, and then what? Azura would marry Ozora—the sight of them together a daily torture—and Airi would come to visit her sister in Kistana and become a perpetual thorn in his side? How had he ended up here? Was there any conceivable way out?
He took a deep breath, steeling himself to return to the group. When he opened his eyes, he found Airi standing before him, a hungry smile on her face.
“I missed you,” she pouted, sashaying towards him. He backed up inadvertently, hitting a nearby tree.
“Airi,” he said, as gently as he could. “I am flattered by your attention. I am. But my duties come first. I cannot become involved…with anyone. I must be focused on the king’s protection.”
“That sounds like an excuse,” she said, drawing nearer. Her frosty blue eyes were focused, intense. And then she pounced, pressing her body to his, grabbing his head in her hands and pulling his mouth to hers.
It took a moment for the shock to register. He pushed back against her shoulders, shoving her away. She wouldn’t let
go of his head, pulling it down as he tried to extricate himself.
“Airi, no,” he said. And then he saw Azura standing near the tree-line, her eyes wide. Azura turned on her heel and fled back towards the river.
“Azura!” he cried. He physically set Airi aside, running after Azura.
Takeo caught her by the arm just before the bend in the river that would take them back to the group. “That wasn’t what it looked like,” he hissed, spinning her around. “She attacked me.”
“With her lips?” Azura scoffed.
“Yes!” he said. “There is only one woman I want to be kissing.” He took her hand and squeezed it. “You know that,” he pleaded.
She searched his eyes with her own. “I believe you,” she said quietly. “I’m not surprised Airi would try something. My sister is a magnet for trouble.”
They stood for a moment longer, silent expressions saying what they could not. Then she pulled her hand from his with a jerk, eyes widening.
He turned and saw Airi standing there, a frown on her face.
CHAPTER 10
Takeo
The rest of their morning was blessedly uneventful. Airi didn’t comment on his and Azura’s clasped hands, or his rejection of her advances. She ignored him the rest of ride, keeping to herself, he suspected, to nurse her injured pride.
When they reached the citadel, the moonburners said their goodnights, and though Takeo longed to race to the unused classroom to make sure Azura wasn’t upset, the king didn’t leave him alone. Ozora walked with him to the stable, chatting while he saw to Bako.
King Ozora hung over the edge of the stall, humming a jaunty tune as Takeo brushed Bako. Takeo tried to stifle his impatience. Ozora’s leopard seishen lay in a shaft of sunlight on the stable floor, eyes closed, soaking in the rays.
“Bako, you handsome beast,” Ozora said. “Are you taking care of my friend Takeo?”