That had been the reason I hadn’t yet explained to Bailey why I had to cut my nights short with her.
“It’s getting nasty out there,” he said before switching to a haughty English accent. “Do you require my services for the rest of the evening?”
“Shut up, you arse,” I said in jest, getting to my feet. “What plans do yer have for the night? Are yer going to the club?”
Griffin frequented the underground club Connor owned.
He shrugged. “I dinnae know.”
He followed me out of my office and down the private elevator. We parted ways at my car and he got into his own. I was grateful I’d driven the SUV when I pulled out into traffic. He’d been right. Snow was falling heavily and already accumulating.
My thoughts traveled to Bailey and how I hoped she was home safe. Or rather that she’d stayed put. Griffin had driven there to make sure she’d made it home and had called me earlier with that report.
I thought about calling to deliver flowers, but held off. It was likely anything I sent her in her current state of mind would end up as trash.
When I walked into my apartment thirty minutes later, Gabe rushed to greet me.
“Da,” he said.
He was the sunshine in the midst of the storm. There was no one I loved more than him. I bent down to scoop him up and walked into my home office to dump my bag.
“What’s that?” he asked, pointing to the box I held in my other hand. “Is it mine?”
It should have been her presenting this gift.
“Yes, it’s for you.”
I set him down and gave him the box he held wide eyes on.
“It’s your car,” he said.
I nodded. “And this one is yours.”
He wrapped his little arms around my leg. I brushed a hand through his hair and angled his head so I could meet his eyes.
“It’s not me you should thank,” I began. “Remember the friend I told you that would be coming over for dinner?” He nodded. “She couldn’t make it but wanted you to have this.”
“When will she come?”
Another rule of mine was not to lie to my son if at all possible.
“I’m not sure,” I said and glanced out the window, wondering where the lass was at this very moment.
Three
“Come on,” Turner said, shattering my waking dream of the past.
I looked up, reminded I was no longer fourteen. I wasn’t that girl anymore.
Still, I waited a beat for Turner to hold out his hand to me as if we were the same conspirators of the past. That day of our first kiss, we’d practiced to the point I’d finally opened up my heart and truly let him in. It had felt as dangerous then as the glint in his eyes felt now.
But he didn’t offer his hand. I followed him, forced to accept how much things had changed outside of our route. The years lost fell away with every footfall. Home.
Just like then, we were alone. Today, school was in session, and the other members would be busy with their daily work. The place would be ours for now. Privacy we couldn’t get elsewhere without rebuke.
Although it would have been quicker to step inside my parents’ home, it wasn’t proper and could cause shame for my family. So outside in the falling snow was our only choice.
I rubbed my hands together. “It’s cold,” I said, my teeth chattering as I stated the obvious, looking for something to break the tension.
Turner was already busy gathering fallen tree limbs and putting them in the makeshift fire pit. It didn’t take him long to have a small fire started even without a conventional lighter. Flinted rocks were left near the pit for such an occasion.
We sat huddled next to each other on a log. The cold was something I had to get used to. I would be sleeping in a home warmed by a fire or stove. There wasn’t a furnace anywhere in the community.
We stared at each other, and flashing warning signs blinked in my head. The name Kalen was displayed like a marquee in Times Square in my mind. I hadn’t forgotten about my misguided feelings for him, but I was determined to squash them. The asshole had played me, and I wouldn’t let him hurt me anymore.
Looking into Turner’s light brown eyes, unresolved emotions I didn’t know I had for him surfaced.
I’d blindsided him with my choice to leave. And it took a great deal of strength for me to do so. I’d loved him. He’d been my first in many ways. From being my best friend to my first kiss and the first boy to ever touch me in places reserved only for a husband. He was my first everything.
“I’m sorry,” I said simply, twisting the braided metal ring on my right hand.
As if he hadn’t heard my apology, he said, “You’re still wearing it.”
His hand hovered to touch the ring, but at the last second he pulled back. My breath caught because if he’d come any closer, I might have been undone.
He brought up the ring. So I awkwardly blurted, “Are you married?”
His eyes chilled, and since I deserved it, I hastily said, “Never mind. It’s not my business.”
Though I was sure I’d hear the answer to that question the minute I spoke to my parents.
“Did you think I’d wait for you forever?” he asked.
Gone was the boy who had loved me. In his place was the man who hadn’t forgiven my betrayal.
“You’re right. I just wanted to apologize,” I said quietly.
“For what? Leaving scorch marks on my heart, on my soul from the very fire that had made me fall in love with you in the first place.”
My gaze found the ground. “If you knew me out in the world, you wouldn’t say anything about me lit fires.”
Living inside the invisible walls of the community, I’d felt brazen and strong. Outside of it, I’d felt small and unsure. I’d fallen for two guys who’d stomped all over my heart and put out any fire I had. Yet, I felt stronger for it.
I lifted my head to face him and I met him with a steady gaze.
“You were always a girl on fire. You burned through me like a flame with purpose.”
His whispered words melted the snow that fell silently around us.
“Since when have you become a poet?” I said, needing to break the awkwardness that settled between us.
“Since the day you left and I thought if I found the right words, you’d come back.”
I wanted to apologize a thousand ways for leaving him, but the only thing I could think of to say was a simple, “I’m sorry,” I relayed again, feeling the pain I saw in his eyes. My watery gaze held his for a second. “I was young, naïve, reckless, and stupid. If I knew then what I know now, I would have never left.”
“But you did.”
Again, the temperature between us cooled and I couldn’t blame him.
I looked down at myself, though wrapped in a coat, and pictured how far I’d come from the flat-chested girl he’d fallen for to where I was now full of curves. That girl wouldn’t have been wearing the blue lace bra and panties I wore underneath it all. Nor could that girl have ever met the likes of the man who’d bought them.
One thing I’d done in anticipation of my return was pull my hair back into the required bun. Turner reached out and gently brushed his calloused fingertips across my cheek, sending quivers through me before he pulled my hair free.
“I wanted to hate you,” he admitted. “You didn’t trust me enough to tell me first. You were just gone.”
I squeezed my lids shut and answered honestly. “I was a coward.”
I’d also been scared. One thing he hadn’t taken into account was that we didn’t have a lot of alone time as we got older. It wasn’t proper. The stolen moments we did have had been spent doing other pleasurable things when conversation hadn’t been high on our list.
“You were,” he agreed, never one to mince words.
He deserved the truth of all of it. “I was, but I wasn’t afraid to tell you I was leaving as much as I was afraid you’d ask me to stay, which I would have.”
We held
there for a second in suspended silence.
“I would have supported you. I would have even gone with you.”
That last part surprised me.
“But you love this place,” I protested, more because I hated knowing that I might have made a grave mistake.
“I do. But I loved you more. I’d been taking online college classes and you knew that.”
I ignored his use of the past tense. Instead, I focused on the rest.
Our community leaders encouraged a select few to take college courses and get degrees. They were forward thinking enough to know we had businesses to run for our survival. That meant trading with the secular world. We needed educated people to negotiate so that we weren’t seen as some backwards community.
“I did. But—” I began.
“You didn’t trust me with your dreams. If you had, maybe you would have understood mine, and my reasons for staying were for you.”
Ashamed and doubting myself again, I felt tears prickle the corners of my eyes.
He leaned back and faced the fire, stretching out his arms to warm his hands.
“I left shortly after you did and attended Penn State University.”
My eyes widened and I wanted to congratulate and hug him. Something in his gaze stopped me and understood why he’d put distance between us.
Lost, I watched helplessly as he stood and dusted himself off. The air between us felt like ice against my skin, but I made no attempt to move.
I’d said my piece. I’d given him my truth. That weight was lifted off me.
He would either forgive me or he wouldn’t. I wouldn’t chase him to change his mind. I let him walk away.
One last time, I let the tears spill from my eyes and I mused over the mess my life was. It felt like I’d lost two men I cared about in one day.
But this was the last time I would cry over either of them. Especially the turd. He could take his lass and shove it as I wondered what he was doing at that very moment.
Four
Kalen
Bailey. The beguiling woman had consumed my thoughts since she walked out of my office door.
Snow was still falling in heavy clumps when I pulled out into traffic in my Range Rower prepared for the weather.
Traffic was stalled, but I made decent time to Bailey’s apartment. I accessed the garage because I owned several apartments that I rented out in the building. Another thing I needed to explain to the woman who thought me a liar.
I barely got a hand up to knock on the door when it opened.
Lizzy stopped short with a hand to her chest.
“Jesus, you scared me,” she said pleasantly.
For a second, I had hope that Bailey’s temper had calmed and maybe she was ready to listen to reason.
I got down to business. “Is she here?”
Bailey’s best friend immediately went on guard dog duty. Her eyes narrowed and her jaw tightened.
“And if she was, do you think I’d tell you?”
“Look, I need to talk to her,” I said, angling to see inside, hoping to catch sight of Bailey on the sofa.
Lizzy shifted to obstruct my view.
“She was very clear she doesn’t want to see you, Jeremy King.”
Her brow arched in a clear challenge.
I sighed and let my eyes drop. That’s when I noticed the suitcase at her side. I snapped my head up to meet her gaze.
“Where are you going?”
She lifted her chin. “That’s really none of your business. Besides, you out of everyone should understand the fine art of withholding information.”
I was a man who hadn’t begged for anything in my life even when I was starving in the streets of Edinburg. But I humbled myself before Bailey’s gatekeeper.
“I really need to talk to her.”
She eyed me a second before speaking. “She’s not here.”
“Tell me where she is. Are you going to meet her?”
“No,” she said, and I believed her. “You need to give her time. If she wants to talk to you, she’ll contact you.”
She pulled out her phone and I thought she was going to call Bailey. Instead, she lifted it and the sound of snapping a picture broke the silence.
Her face lit up with a grin. “And if you don’t give her space, I’ll be sure to post this all over the web. The elusive Jeremey King, Money Man, or Lying Thief, whatever they call you. And if you’re going to give yourself an alias, drop the n out of Kalen. Kale is more your speed. You know, the thing nobody really wants.”
She stepped back and closed the door in my face. I stood there for a second, uncaring about the picture. For so long I’d hidden in the shadows per my father’s wishes. Where had that gotten me?
I placed my palm flat against the door, wondering if Lizzy had been lying. Was Bailey behind the door? I almost knocked, unsure what to do in this situation. Never once had I ever wanted a woman enough to fight for her.
A moment later and I straightened. I’d give Lizzy’s advice a trial period. I could give Bailey time. I owed her that much, and more.
For now, I’d go home. I had plans to make for the future.
Five
By the time I made it to my parents’ place, I was frozen. I walked straight into the house, as doors weren’t normally kept locked, and headed into my old room. I found a towel and dried my snow-covered hair as best I could. I’d donned a bonnet I found and warmed myself by the large cast iron stove before heading off to the place that gave me the most comfort outside of home.
Every other woman in town that I passed was garbed in similar clothing, except for my coat. Many gave me curious glances but said nothing outside of a polite greeting. I slipped into the schoolhouse office without my younger siblings noticing. I got a nod from the head teacher before I was behind the closed door.
I sat at the big desk and wondered where my older sister Violet was. I was out of sorts and needed someone I could trust to talk to. But she was working, and it would be frowned upon for me to interrupt, so I stayed put.
It was easy to slip into the familiar. I dived in using my auditing skills to continue to review the community’s books. It was something unique I could offer, so I did it without being asked. It was doubtful my replacement, which was the woman who apprenticed me, would be doing anything wrong. It was just something to keep me busy.
My focus kept shifting between the phone and the ledgers over and over again. Out of three ruined relationships, I was the only common denominator. Maybe Scott was right. It was me all along.
Hesitantly, I picked up the faded moss green colored handset from the cradle and pushed the buttons on the base. Our phones had non-registered numbers and would display UNKNOWN as the caller. I wasn’t sure if my call would be answered.
“Hello.”
“Lizzy,” I said on an exhale of relief.
“Oh my God, honey. Are you okay?”
There was noise in the background.
“I’m fine. Where are you?”
“At the airport. I’m going to Chicago to see that artist, Haven. I want to commission more of her work. Plus, I want to check up on Matt.”
“Oh,” I said, feeling sorry for myself.
Lizzy’s life was moving forward, while mine was moving backward.
“Did you make it home?” she asked. “I got your message and I’m worried about you driving in that weather.”
“It’s fine. I’m here.”
“They have phones?” she asked, sounding utterly shocked.
I let out a bitter laugh. “Yeah, and a couple of computers too. Though we aren’t allowed to use them regularly. I should probably cut this short.”
“Don’t go. Your stalker stopped by.”
My heart did a little traitorous pitter-patter.
“He didn’t,” I said, not sure why I was surprised.
The man was used to getting what he wanted. The only reason he was pursuing me was because I was probably the first woman to tell him no.
; “He did with damnable puppy dog eyes. You should have seen him. I almost gave in.”
“You didn’t,” I warned even though it would have been too late as I tried and failed to imagine puppy dog eyes on the arrogant bastard.
“I didn’t,” she agreed. “I gave him hell. But sweetie, I hate to say this because I’m totally on your side. But he had the look of a man in love.”
I rolled my eyes. “That look is someone who isn’t used to losing.”
“If you say so. If I were a betting woman, I’d say he’s got it bad for you.”
For a second, I felt my resolve wavering, but I pushed past it.
“Good thing you don’t bet,” I said. “Give my love to Matt.”
She laughed. “I will not. That would give him hope. And we both know you’ve got it bad for a certain King,” she teased in a sing-song voice.
“Not anymore,” I muttered, unable to completely lie.
“You can lie to yourself but not to me. Anywho, they are boarding my plane.”
“You’re flying commercial?” I asked.
“Damn right. You see this weather. I want someone solid to fly me in these unfriendly skies. Oh, before I go. You got roses.”
I blew out a breath. “From him.”
“I don’t think so. He didn’t mention them, and they were black roses. Weird, huh?” A chill ran up my spine. “I imagine they will die a timely death before you can see them. I took a picture for you, though.”
“No message?” I asked, my mouth feeling suddenly dry.
“None,” she said.
“Safe travels,” I added, with a little cheer. I missed her so much already. “I’ll try to call you in a few days. I don’t have my cell so you can’t call me.”
“You know how weird that is, right?” she asked.
“I do.”
“You stay safe too. Be sure to check in or I’ll have my brother find you,” she teased.
Queen of Men: King Maker series Page 2