“I’m fine, and what happened between us should have never happened.”
I froze. Something happened between him and Vi. I knew she crushed on him, but…
“I know. I’m rooting for you both. It’s just, Bailey is never going to be satisfied staying here. And you, on the other hand, were made for this place, even though you are on your way out of the country. What are you going to do now?”
How often did my sister and Turner talk? And I couldn’t get the question of what happened between the two of them out of my mind. It didn’t surprise me that Mary betrayed me. But Violet? I never thought her capable, and a hurt deep inside me grew.
“I haven’t yet told her my plans. She’s not sure what she wants.”
“That’s what I’m saying.” She didn’t sound sure. “I don’t want to see either of you hurt.”
“Nothing’s certain, but I hope she’ll give us a chance.”
It probably didn’t say much that I sat there listening to their conversation, not that I’d meant to. Once I heard that something happened between the two of them, I was forced into silence. Somehow, I knew they may not ever tell me the truth of it willingly. However, it was time to stop spying. I got up and made a lot of noise.
When I stepped into the main room, Vi was there with a bright smile on her face. “Sleep well?”
“It was okay,” I said and walked over to the stove to warm my hands. “Where is Steven?”
“He’s already left for work duty.”
I traded a sideways glance at Turner. “Wow, he’s eager.”
“He’s trying to impress Father.” She shrugged.
“He looks familiar,” I said.
She brushed off that question. “Maybe he has one of those faces.”
“No. I can’t put my finger on it. But I’m certain I’ve seen him before.”
Vi tossed down the rag she’d been using to wipe down the table. “You don’t want me to be happy, do you?”
I rushed over and wrapped an arm around her. I rested my head on her shoulder. “It’s not that. I worry about you.” As much as you fret over me, I didn’t say. “I’m worried that you don’t really know who he is and why he would need a place to stay. Doesn’t that concern you?”
“What do you think, he’s some kind of criminal?”
I would never judge anyone on their appearance.
“I don’t know what to think.”
“He’s good,” she spat.
I straightened and held up my hands. “Fine. He seems nice.”
Turner had remained quiet, and I was curious about his thoughts but didn’t want to put him on the spot. It was obvious he’d held Vi in his confidence. So, I dropped it and helped Vi make a breakfast of biscuits and eggs.
After we were done and the tiny kitchen area cleaned up, Turner said, “Well, I should be going. No doubt they’ll be wondering why I haven’t appeared for morning chores.”
I glanced at his hands, knowing he would use them to fix and build things throughout the day. I thought about how those same hands had held me all night.
“Bye,” I said, feeling awkward. I almost thought he would lean over and kiss me, but he didn’t.
When the door closed behind him, I turned to face my sister. It was then I let the heat of my anger percolate through my skin. “Is there something you want to tell me about you and Turner?”
“Bailey, I’m sorry.”
“How long did you wait after I left town before you pursued him?” I asked.
A righteous indignation crossed over my sister’s haunted features. “Why are you back here, Bailey? Why are you getting Turner’s hopes up? He deserves better than that.”
I paused, surprised to hear her sounding like Father when she’d always been my champion. “Why?” I asked. “So you can have him?”
A horrified look graced her features.
“It wasn’t like that. Remember, we’re closer in age. I started crushing on him once I realized boys weren’t gross.”
“You never told me that,” I spat, even though I’d known. The hurt I felt flowed through my words.
Her look was now pleading. “You followed him around like a puppy and wouldn’t have understood. You would have told him, thinking it was a joke.”
“I didn’t follow him around.”
She crossed her arms over her chest.
“Okay, but I followed you too. I worshiped you both,” I confessed.
“I thought he hung out with you to be around me. Then it turned out, you were the glue to his being around. I don’t know when he fell for you. But it was you two that clicked. You were too young, and he never treated you any different than just a friend, so I let it go. Then more and more he came over to hang out with just you.”
I sat. No, I flopped down onto the bench in front of the table. My eyes were heavy with guilt. Had I known her feelings for certain, would I have done anything differently? Would Turner have been with my sister and happy if I had backed off? These were questions I would never get answers to. I had part of an answer. If there had been a spark, why didn’t he pursue her after I left, and she made herself available?
“What, you’re just going to sit there?” she said.
“What do you want me to say?” I hedged.
“Tell me you’re not going to break his heart.”
I couldn’t tell her that. My mouth parted and I confessed my sins.
“There’s someone else.”
Her eyes widened and I began to tell her the story.
Fifteen
Past
Feeling like my heart had been beaten to a pulp, I stood in front of the door a second before I knocked.
Lizzy, as if waiting on the other side until I’d gathered the last of my courage, flung open the door and hauled me inside.
“Look at you,” she said, pushing strands of dampened hair from the sides of my face.
“Oh honey.” She pulled me into a fierce hug. “He’s a dumb jerk face.”
I had to smile. My best friend had far more colorful words in her vocabulary, but out of consideration for my time in need said the right things to make me laugh and cry at the same time.
But what made her my very best friend in the world was taking me in without notice so close to the holidays.
“Mom’s thrilled you’ll be spending Christmas with us.” She stepped back as if she understood I didn’t want this to be a thing. “With Matt being a dumb jerk face too, he isn’t coming home. She’s looking forward to spoiling someone else besides me.”
When I just stood there feeling the chill from the outside temperatures still invading my skin, she snagged my bag from my hand.
“Come, you can have Matty’s room. Not like he’s coming home anytime soon. It’s got its own bath and everything.”
She took my hand to get me moving and I followed her into the room. It was spacious, bigger than the bedroom Scott and I had shared. It was painted in shades of gray and blue, but didn’t completely look like a bachelor’s space.
“Thanks,” I managed to say, still hovering in the doorway.
“Stop. I’m so excited to have you here. You know I’ve always wanted to trade in my brother for a sister.”
Her grin was enormous and it was hard to stop my mouth from forming a likewise upward curve.
“Still, I’ll pay you rent, and I’ll start looking for my own place.”
She waved a hand while I couldn’t manage to lift my lead feet. “That’s nonsense. You just got here. As for rent, forget it. You’re my guest for however long you need it.”
Her kindness broke the fragile hold I’d had on my emotions. I burst into soul-wrenching sobs. And not so much for the man, but for how stupid I’d been. Gone was the girl who’d run from a society where men ruled. What was in her place was a woman who’d slipped right into the rules of how I’d been raised. I’d trusted a man I shouldn’t have because I’d allowed myself to believe that was better than the invisible scarlet S for sinner I’d worn for sleeping
with a man who wasn’t my husband.
She wiped at my tears. “You will not let that scum bucket, limp dick—no, scratch that—tiny dick, no good, lying asshat have this much power over you.”
The one thing she hadn’t said was I told you and I loved her more for that.
“You shower the stink of that jerk face off of you and we are going out for a night on the town.”
I shook my head. “I can’t. I just want—”
She snapped her finger. “Ice cream.”
Slowly, I nodded, wanting to marry her that instant. She was better at sensing my needs than anyone in a long time.
“We’ll watch empowering movies like Kill Bill, Thelma and Louise, or Carrie.” Her face lit up on the last one. “Or maybe 9 to 5. Mom made me watch it with her when Turtle Face Timmy called me awful names made me cry.”
My smile widened a little more. “You know you’re the best.”
She nodded. “But don’t think we are going to spend every night here. Trust me. We are going out. I’ll take you to my favorite little dive bar and—” She got a little more excited. “New Year’s Eve, we are going to the best party ever.”
True to her word, she’d allowed me to wallow the first night. But after, we’d played pool several nights at her dive bar. Another night we’d wandered into a bar full of Harvard wannabes and didn’t last there long. It was so far from Lizzy’s scene. We’d eaten at her parents’ house a few times, and had dinner at restaurants at others, until that night came.
It was hard to forget that I was supposed to get married that night. I tried and failed as I got ready to go to the big New Year’s Eve bash at the fancy hotel Lizzy was taking me to.
“Damn, girl, you look fuckable.”
My jaw slackened and I looked at myself in horror.
Lizzy laughed. “Stop. You look great, not like a slut—not exactly.” When I made a move to find something else, she giggled. “I’m only kidding. Besides, this night is like Vegas. What happens tonight will disappear when morning comes. We won’t speak of it.”
I wished I could be as free as she was, but I nodded anyway.
I smoothed a hand down my dress and felt the slight bump from the garters I wore underneath, a gift from my bestie.
“Too bad Matty didn’t show up,” she said absently.
I turned away, feeling a blush creep up my cheek. Her brother, Matt, was super hot and I’d crushed on him a long time.
She took a final look in the mirror after applying a little more lipstick. “Okay, it’s time to crush hearts.”
The place was packed, and I felt guarded and nervous. Lizzy went first to the bar and got us two shots each, which we downed before she pulled me onto the dance floor.
It wasn’t long before I let the beat dictate my movements. It was several shots later when I completely let loose. My hips as well as the rest of my body had their own mind.
It was one night. What could possibly happen in one night?
Him.
Sixteen
“Him?” Violet asked.
I nodded as if that was a good answer. “Like a dream, he just appeared. I couldn’t tell you what he said or even how I responded. But I let him lead me off the dance floor in a cataclysmic move that would forever change my life.”
Surprise filled her face and I realized I’d said too much.
“You slept with him?”
I shrugged. “Are you going to shame me for it?”
“No,” she said adamantly. “It just seems out of character even for you.”
It had been. I’d wrestled with it for days after. Thank God for Lizzy.
I continued and told her all about Scott, Kalen, and my job and how it landed me here. I even admitted that I still had lingering feelings for Kalen and that I still loved Turner. I just wasn’t sure yet if I was in love with him.
“So this Kalen lied to you?” she asked.
“It wasn’t like that,” I breathed and admitted what I had time to think about after my initial anger. “He was protecting himself. He’s rich and women would want that alone, but he’s also extremely handsome. He didn’t know me from anyone. In his own way, I think he wanted me to like him and not his money.”
She had sat down somewhere along the way of my telling. “If you’re in love with this Kalen, you need to let Turner go. He was a wreck after you left. Then he left and went to college too. He came home hopeful every holiday, only you never showed up.”
“I did come home once,” I said in my defense.
“And look how that turned out.” Her face held the expression that said need I say more? And no, she didn’t. “Margaret still thinks she has a shot. She’s not happy about your return.”
It looked like many people weren’t happy that I was here. It was looking like there wasn’t any saneness to my decision to come home as a safe haven.
“You’ve dodged the question. What happened between you and Turner?” I asked.
She exhaled a breath and avoided an answer. “It’s not like the pickings around here are plentiful. They don’t grow multiple Turners in this place. Most guys who are easy on the eyes like the backwards lifestyle of man beats his chest and woman listens.”
“Did you sleep with him?”
Her mouth opened in shock. “No. We had a moment. He was sad about you and it just happened.”
“What happened?”
“We kissed. But it was barely a brush on the mouth before we realized it was wrong. It felt like I was kissing my brother. Honestly, you have nothing to worry about. I love my husband. Turner is just a friend.”
There was a pregnant pause before she added, “You have to decide if Turner is just a friend too. He deserves an answer.”
I’d been wrong so many times. I wasn’t sure if I was capable of making a right decision. I thought it would be easy forgetting Kalen, and I’d been wrong.
Seventeen
Some say your life comes full circle. Sitting with my two younger sisters while we folded laundry, I thought that might be true.
At twelve and nine, their chatter was still filled with innocence. Rose, in the early stages of preteen, didn’t want to talk as much as Poppy. My youngest sister was still just a girl and kept steering the topic of conversation back to Christmas, when she wasn’t peppering me with other questions about my life. I didn’t mind. She barely knew who I was. She was really young when I left for college.
“Did you have a doll when you were little?” Poppy asked.
“I did.” I struggled to remember it. Dolls had been okay in my book, but I had much rather gone out and followed behind Turner. My conversation with Violet reminded me of that.
Out of nowhere, Rose politely said, “Are you going to kiss Turner?” I didn’t have time to be shocked before she continued. “Because I heard Father tell Mother that you and Turner should have gotten married.”
Okay, there were two problems with her question and subsequent statement. I met Poppy’s eyes before she studiously looked away.
The bell tolled from outside, and the girls got to their feet. “School time,” Poppy said with glee. She was still at the age where school actually seemed kind of fun.
They gathered their bundle of books, clasped in what looked like straps, and headed out of the house. I wiped down the tables and straightened the chairs and benches. Then there was really nothing to do. I checked the girls’ room, but all their clothes were washed, folded, and put away.
In the boys’ room, it was a different story. In the interest of something to do, I considered washing their clothes until I came across a pair of boxers. I put everything back the way I found it. Something told me they wouldn’t appreciate the intrusion.
What I really wanted was to talk to my mother, but she’d been gone when I arrived. The girls hadn’t known just where she was off to. With nothing else to do until afternoon chores, I headed to the schoolhouse to work on reconciling the current bank statement.
It was in the numbers I found some peace. I wasn�
�t sure why, considering it was work that had unraveled my life. I stared at the phone a long time considering. It would be so easy to call Kalen, but I stayed strong.
By lunch, I was hungry and tired. My day had started at the crack of dawn, and I’d been at it almost as long as an average workday when my sister popped her head in.
“I thought you might be hungry,” Mary said.
I was able to school my features and not show any surprise. I took the basket of food she held out to me. There were some dried meat and fruits and a bit of cheese. A minute later, she returned with a cup of hot tea.
“Thanks.”
She smiled and gave a tiny shrug. “We’re sisters.”
I felt bad for assuming she had an ulterior motive.
“Are you and Turner together?” she asked.
And there it was. If I’d hoped that she’d truly come for me, I would have been disappointed.
“Who are you asking for? Margaret?”
She shrugged again, this time a bit more exaggerated. “Don’t you think she deserves to know?”
“I think it’s none of my business,” I said slowly, enunciating each word, hoping she’d hear my consternation. “That’s between her and him.”
“But don’t you see? You’re the problem. He hasn’t let go. He won’t truly give her a chance because of you. Just when they were getting close again, you show up.”
All pretense of sisterly love was gone. Her distain for me was once again evident.
“I didn’t come for him,” I said.
Her eyes narrowed and her lips pinched, like she totally didn’t believe me. “You could have had him, but you didn’t want him. You left and now you’re back.”
The fact that she said it again annoyed me more because she was right. What was I doing? I tossed my hands up, because what could I say?
“They would have been married if you hadn’t come back that Christmas,” she tossed out.
Queen of Men: King Maker series Page 7