by Aileen Erin
I had.
But taking care of myself—doing something like cooking—it wasn’t important anymore. My mind would wander. After the third meal I’d burned, I gave up cooking.
For the last two weeks, we’d grabbed stuff on the run. But the few times we were back in Texas, I let Michael cook for me like he did when I was a kid. It was comforting, and Michael knew that I needed all the comfort I could get right now.
And since I was at constant war with my wolf, I needed to eat more calories than ever before.
I’d gone feral once before. It felt like forever ago that Tessa stepped onto the coven’s land—to live with them—and it felt like she’d disappeared. I didn’t handle that separation well. Even knowing exactly where she was and what she was doing and that she was staying there by her own free will, I still went feral. But this was so much worse. I didn’t know where she was or how she was, and I knew she wasn’t there by her own free will.
I thought I knew before what losing it meant, but I didn’t realize the nature of the beast within me.
I was terrified of what I might become if I didn’t find her soon.
We ate in silence. I didn’t taste any of it. I did it so that my wolf would be satisfied for at least this basic need.
When we were finished, Michael went to the white leather couch and lay down, closing his eyes. I knew he wasn’t asleep. This was Michael’s thinking mode. We’d talked the whole flight out here. We’d made lists of what fey could’ve done this, and tried to figure out what we knew of each fey’s powers. If we could somehow undo their magic on my bond, then that might solve all our problems. But there was so much we didn’t know. So much we didn’t understand.
Until recently, the fey had avoided the packs. We stayed separate. But Tessa changed all that.
Tessa changed everything.
I paced in front of the elevator doors. Michael watched me with a warning in his gaze, but I couldn’t stop moving.
My wolf couldn’t ask Imogene questions. I had to stay human.
I told myself that Imogene would be home soon, and then I’d find Tessa. And I hoped that wasn’t a lie.
Because I had to find her.
A ping sounded, the elevator doors slid open, and I was waiting.
Shannon gasped and pressed herself against the back wall of the elevator.
Imogene smiled. “Hello, Dastien.”
I slammed my hand against the elevator door to stop it from closing. “Come inside. We need to talk.” My voice was deep and fiery and filled with power, but that didn’t seem to faze Imogene even a little bit.
Imogene ran her hand across my chest as she walked by me, and it took everything in me not to hit her.
I didn’t want her to touch me. I didn’t want her to look at me. I didn’t want her to breathe the same air as me.
If she was part of taking Tessa, then I wanted her dead.
She froze when she saw Michael sitting on the couch.
“Come on in, ladies. We’re on a tight schedule.” Michael rose and strode toward us. “I can make it an order.”
“We’re not in your pack anymore.” Shannon stepped hesitantly out of the elevator. “You don’t have any authority over us.”
“Oh, but I do,” I said. “I’m part of the new council that—”
“No,” Imogene said. “They don’t hold the authority—”
“Yes, I do.” I gripped my hands into tight fists. “Sit!” The word came out mostly growl, but the shove of power I sent toward them had them dropping to the floor where they stood.
Imogene smelled like smoke and sweat, and as I looked down at her, I wondered what I’d ever been thinking dating her. Her blonde hair was perfectly straight. Her gold sequined dress fit against her body like it’d been made for it—and I was sure it had been. Her makeup was perfect, and she looked up at me with this calculated, seductress look that made me want to—
“Dastien!” Michael’s power-backed voice jerked me back to reality.
I was kneeling in front of Imogene, growling, with my hand reaching for her neck. The sickly sweet scent of fear filled the room. Imogene didn’t look so confident anymore. Her face had paled, and Shannon sat next to her, silently sobbing.
I stood and stumbled back a step. This wasn’t me. This wasn’t what I did. I always had control. Always.
But I’d forgotten how hard it had been before Tessa. She made everything easier. She had just as much power as me—more than me—but somehow, she didn’t struggle with it like I did.
I turned to Michael, who was watching me closely, and I gave him a nod. His eyes were glowing green, but he had control. He could ask the questions. I was too far gone now. Way too far gone to be trusted with anything important.
“Where is Tessa?” Michael asked.
Imogene’s shoulders hunched, and she dropped her gaze to the floor. “I don’t know. I—”
Michael lowered until he was squatting in front of Imogene. He gripped her chin, forcing her head up until she was looking at him. She kept squirming—trying to get away—but he waited until she realized he wasn’t letting go.
“What part did you play in her disappearance?” he asked.
“We didn’t do anything!” Shannon’s voice was thick with tears, and her brogue was thicker still.
I didn’t feel sorry for her. Not even a little bit.
Michael ignored Shannon. I knew she probably went along with whatever Imogene had done, but the way that Imogene strolled in here—brushing my chest with her hand while Shannon cowered in the back of the elevator—meant that Imogene was the one in charge. It made sense. She was much more alpha than Shannon.
“Who did you show our pack bonds to?” Michael asked.
“I’m not a part of the pack anymore. I don’t owe you anything.” Imogene’s voice was more whimper and whine than anything else, but the words were defiant.
I stood behind Michael and looked down at her. “But you know my bonds. You know who I’m tied to. You can follow the web from one wolf to another until you find me, and then you could find my tie to Tessa. You took it. Who did you give it to?”
Michael dropped her chin and slowly rose, moving to stand beside me.
“I didn’t take anything. No one can take a bond.”
God. Dealing with Imogene was like dealing with the fey. Had she taken lessons on not answering questions? “Fine. Who did you let into our bonds?”
The two girls looked at each other, but I didn’t have much patience left.
“Who?” The power I put into the word flew through the room, slamming into them like a physical force, shooting them across the mirror-slick white floors until they hit the wall.
I wasn’t sure where that power came from, and it didn’t matter. Not right now.
“I’m not going to ask again.”
“It was a fey woman and a witch.” Shannon spit out the words. “They were working together. The witch was from a New York coven, but the bitch is dead now. The fey girl killed her in front of us. They told us that if we said anything about it, we were dead, too.
“I don’t know why they didn’t kill us. It seems it would’ve been tidier, but I don’t think they realized that no Alpha would know if we died. No Alpha would feel it through the pack ties and come asking questions because we weren’t tethered to any pack—except our blood relations. I think they thought as long as they let us live, no one would know how they got through to your mate bond. But they’d kill us for talking to you. So, if I tell you any more, you’d best help us. We need protection. We need—”
“We don’t need anything from them if this is how—” Imogene started talking, but Shannon cut her off with a look.
“Yes, we do,” Shannon said.
At least one of them was sane. Not that we’d help them, but—
“We can certainly discuss options, depending on what you tell us,” Michael said.
I stared at my adoptive father like he’d lost his mind. Discuss options? When they’d knowingly
participating in the abduction of my mate?
No. Just no. They could live with the consequences of their actions for all I cared. Once I had the information, these two were dead to me. I would walk out the door and never look back.
Michael looked at me then, and it was as if he could read my mind. He gave me a look that said they’d face the consequences of betraying our bonds, but it wasn’t up to us to decide their fate.
Michael was right. I was extremely biased here.
He gave me a small, barely there nod and turned back to Shannon. “Who? I need a name.” His voice was softer now that Shannon had caved.
“I don’t know who she was.” Fear made Shannon’s Irish accent thicker than I’d ever heard from her before. “I’ve lived next door to fey my whole life, and I could tell that she was using magic to hide who she was. I knew her name and what she looked like when she was here, but the second she left, my mind muddled. I wouldn’t be able to pick her out of a line-up if my life were on the line. And I know it is right now. I know it. I tried asking who she was and I swear to Jesus I warned Imogene—”
“You bitch!” Imogene leaped at Shannon, but Michael caught her around the waist and threw her against the mirrored wall.
Glass shattered, and a faint coppery scent of blood started to seep into the room. My wolf wanted her to hurt, to pay, to bleed for what she’d done to Tessa.
We still needed answers, which meant I couldn’t kill her yet.
Imogene would be fine. Glass wouldn’t really hurt a werewolf. But I might if Imogene didn’t cut the shit.
“You stay there.” Michael didn’t yell it. He didn’t need to. There was enough threat in what he didn’t say.
Imogene wouldn’t move again if she wanted to live.
“What did the fey girl tell you? Where did they take her?” I asked Shannon. “Please. We were friends once. My mate—my wife—is gone. I need her back, or I won’t…I need her back. Anything you can tell me would help.”
Shannon wiped tears from her face as she looked up at me. Her face was pale, making her freckles stand out more. Her wolf was making her green eyes turn a glowing hazel, but she wasn’t going to fight. She stank of remorse and sorrow.
My wolf wouldn’t hurt her. She was…weak.
“I’m sorry for what I’ve done. I know it was wrong, but I was left without a pack. I was alone. I…Please. A mercy on me.”
“Help me, and then we’ll talk.” I wouldn’t let myself be part of any tribunal against her, but if she helped—if she really, truly helped me now—I might be willing to speak on her behalf.
Shannon nodded. “They said they were going to hide her somewhere. She wasn’t going to be hurt or killed or anythin’. They promised that much at least.”
I let out a breath. “That might just save your life. Keep going.”
“God. I am sorry for what I’ve done. I called Meredith. I tried to tell her. I did. I feel a kind of miserable guilt, and I—”
I closed my eyes, praying for patience. I didn’t want to hear how bad she felt about destroying my life. “Stop.” I opened them again and felt a little calmer. “Just tell me what happened. Tell me what you remember.”
Something on my face had Shannon swallowing down her rambling apology. “The fey girl just wanted her out of the way. She thought with Tessa gone, then you and the rest of the new council would be running around trying to find her. She said that her queen wanted time to figure out how to undo the spell that gave you the power to rule us all. She wanted to undo it. She didn’t like the idea that Cosette or Van or those other two fey girls could be more powerful than her. This was about Tessa and the rest of you having too much power.” Shannon shrugged. “You’re playing right into her hands. You’re doing exactly what she wanted you to do. Running around and paying them no heed when you should be watching your backs.”
I didn’t care about the fey—I just wanted Tessa back—but Shannon was right. I was playing right into their hands. We all were. We were running around, chasing any lead we could find, and she was gone.
Tessa was gone.
I would keep her my focus, but the rest of them needed to sort out Helen before this turned to war.
“Do you know where they sent Tessa? Do you know anything that could help?”
“I swear to Jesus I don’t know what they’ve done with her. We allowed them to touch our bonds. That was it.”
“Why? Why would you let them?”
“I owed a debt. That was my part. Imogene did it for her own reasons.” Shannon raised a shaking hand to wipe away a tear. “I let them into my bonds, and now they feel dirty. Full of must and muck. I had to or…I grew up next to the underhill. I know what happens when werewolves go there. So, I let them in, but that’s all I did. The witch did some magic, and when the fey had what she wanted, she killed the witch. That’s all I’ve got. I know it’s not much.”
This was bad. The fey took her. She was fine, but they took her. How was I going to find her now?
This was another dead end.
I punched the floor, and the white tile shattered. Bright red blood splattered against the shiny white, and Imogene laughed.
The sound had me freezing in place.
I was going to do something bad, and I wasn’t sure I was strong enough to stop myself or even regret it.
The wolf scented Imogene’s blood and wanted more. More, more, more.
“Dastien.” Michael said my name, but I knew he was asking a question. Was I okay?
No. No, I wasn’t okay.
I had to leave. I had to go. Quickly. Before I did anything I wouldn’t be able to live with.
I strode to the elevator, hitting the button for it so hard that the last fragments of the mirrored wall around it cracked.
“That’s seven years bad luck.” Imogene practically sang the words.
Dead. She was dead.
I started to turn, but Michael already stood over her.
“You’re extremely, pitifully stupid. Stay here. Shut up. And hear me when I say I won’t stop Dastien when he comes to kill you next time.” Michael left her there and came to me, but I could see her smug, self-satisfied smile.
I growled and started to leap toward her, but Michael shoved his hand against my chest.
“Go,” he said. “I’ll question them. I’ll see what else I can get out of them, and then I’ll call Cosette. We’ll figure this out. This isn’t a dead end. We’re unraveling this. So, just stay calm. Go for a run. Burn off some of this anger. Return only when your control is back.”
“If they don’t know—”
“They know something. But if the witch that helped the fey is dead, then we need you to find a way to break the magic covering your bond.”
“You saw what that magic did to Samantha.”
“Yes, but this is your bond. Some fey person is covering it, but it’s still your bond. I know we can find a way for you to fix it. That might still be the quickest way of finding her.”
I was happy to fix my bond, but Samantha’s attempt didn’t exactly go well. And we only saw her after we’d seen so many others. “How are we supposed to do that? We’ve seen everyone that we thought could possibly help. We’ve—”
“I don’t know, but we’ll figure something out.”
That was vague and unhelpful. We’d figure it out? How?
How?
The elevator dinged, and the doors opened.
I stepped inside and closed my eyes, wondering if I’d ever feel in control of myself again. If I’d ever find her. If I would make it if I never found her.
The answers in my head scared me more than the questions, and I pushed that all away.
I would keep looking and never give up. Not until she was back with me.
No matter how long that took.
Chapter Ten
DASTIEN
Fifty-Five Days, Twenty-Three Hours Missing
We were on Chris and Cosette’s Sanctuary grounds. After Miami, we went back to St. Ailbe�
�s for a bit, where Claudia and Lucas were staying with Axel, but I couldn’t stay there for long. There were too many memories. Too many ghosts of Tessa that haunted me. So, all five of us left.
Chris and Cosette had plenty of room for us at the Sanctuary, and nights on the school grounds had been quiet for weeks. Which meant we didn’t have to stay there. The Cazadores could deal with anything that came up there on their own.
At the Sanctuary, I had help, friends, support, and—most importantly—all kinds of supernaturals with magic that could help find Tessa.
No fey outside of the Sanctuary could help us without starting a war. Claudia, Beth, Shane, and River had tried everything they could. We’d done spells and crystals, and I’d burned pounds of sage—so much that I was sure the scent of the smoke was now embedded in my skin. I’d taken salt baths to clear myself of magic, but nothing was working.
But tonight, everyone in the new council gathered together to do one more spell.
It was three in the morning. It’d been almost eight weeks to the dot since Tessa was taken, and we’d made zero progress.
The FBI was looking for Tessa in every hospital, every Jane Doe, every homegrown terrorist group capturing magical creatures.
So now, together, we were trying something different. At least that’s what Claudia said. She’d been working on this spell for two weeks. The other fey in the council had been helping her, along with the witches. They thought that since it was witch and fey magic that did this, then witch and fey magic had to be able to undo it.
I wanted to have hope, but if I was being honest, the only thing keeping me going was that I was still alive. Which meant she was still alive. So, I’d keep trying different things until something worked.
Tessa used to say that belief in a spell sometimes was enough to make it work. I hoped all of them had enough faith to cover my portion tonight.