Shelby dug in some boxes for clean clothes, grateful that Grandpa had made coffee. The aroma filled the house. When she stumbled into the kitchen, her grandfather was reading the paper. “Isn’t it time for you to open the clinic?”
“I fed your animals. The kittens are sleeping and that goose is outside.” Grandpa studied Shelby’s face. “Gage and I are taking a day. Why don’t you take one, too?”
She nodded. “I texted Christine last night.”
“Hey, look who’s here.” Walking like a man with cracked ribs, with small steps and shallow breaths, Gage led Agnes, Rose and Mildred into the kitchen. “I heard them drive up and had to make sure they didn’t come through the living room obstacle course.”
“That’s my research and I’ll thank you not to make fun of it.”
The visitors ignored him. One by one, they hugged Shelby. Each embrace made Shelby feel a little better, a little warmer.
Gage pulled a chair close to hers and took her hand. His touch chased away most of the chill that remained. She needed to find someone to keep an eye on Grandpa after she left. She hadn’t thought about him last night when she’d told Gage she’d go with him. She hadn’t thought about the special opportunities she was losing at Harmony Valley Vineyards. She hadn’t been able to think past the emptiness of loss.
“Normally, we visit the family the morning after with Rose’s triple chocolate treats.” Agnes uncovered a tray of chocolate chip cookies and brownies. “But her family won’t be in until tomorrow and Mae had grown fond of you, Shelby.”
“Between the chocolate chip cookies, brownies and hot chocolate, we’ll all feel better soon.” Rose sniffed as she opened a thermos.
Shelby brought down mugs and passed around napkins. At Rose’s urging, they each took a treat. Shelby worked the chocolate chips from her cookie, but had no appetite. The kitchen seemed overwhelmingly cheerful this morning, no place for the somber discussions death necessitated. Mae would have scoffed at the mood in the room.
“Mae wouldn’t appreciate black at her funeral.” Shelby plucked at the sky-blue T-shirt she’d dug from the bottom of a wardrobe box. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d worn it. One of Nick’s blue bandanas had lain on top of it. “I need to put a rush order on Conchita’s dress restoration.”
Everyone in the room seemed perplexed.
“She called the mannequin in the window Conchita.” Shelby managed a small smile. “She wanted to be buried in that wedding dress.”
Rose gasped. Mildred blew her nose.
Agnes nodded. “That’s exactly how she would have wanted to go.”
“I was thinking of dying my hair red for the funeral,” Rose said.
“What a fitting tribute.” Mildred blew her nose. “I hope I can still fit into the dress she picked out for me for my niece’s wedding.”
“We’ll get it out of your closet today,” Agnes promised.
“It’s...purple,” Mildred squeaked.
They all agreed the color was very fitting.
When the ladies left, Shelby drifted outside, drawn by the fog-filtered rays of the sun on the lawn. With an excited honk, Fanny waddled up to her, dancing on webbed feet in a ploy for attention.
“Silly goose.” Shelby patted her. “I hope you enjoy long car rides.”
Gage came up behind her, wrapping his arms gently around her, being just as careful of his physical injuries as he was her emotional wounds. “We’ll get through this.”
There was a loud, elongated crash from the house.
“Grandpa?” Shelby spun around, elbowing Gage’s ribs in the process. “I’m sorry, but... Grandpa?”
“Shelby?” Her grandfather’s voice. Conspicuously absent was his bite. “I need help.”
The living room stacks had tumbled like dominos. The mounds of books and magazines were largest by the fireplace. A hand moved weakly between two thick volumes.
“Grandpa! Gage, call the sheriff. He’s knocked over the piles and is buried by the fireplace.”
She stepped over the fringe of disaster and rooted her foot through an opening to the avocado shag. She began tossing books and magazines into a far corner. In her urgency, they smacked against the wall so hard a picture fell.
Gage helped, but he moved slowly, hindered by his injuries.
Finally, she reached her grandfather, sprawled on the brick hearth and in obvious pain.
For the second time in forty-eight hours, Shelby found herself in the emergency room.
* * *
“THERE’S NO CHANCE I could have broken my hip,” Grandpa grumbled, in a much better mood since they’d given him pain meds in his IV bag.
“Are you saying X-rays lie?” Shelby had lost her patience a while ago. “Are you saying the doctor lied?”
“I didn’t break my hip.” So mule-headed. She wanted to shake him.
“Get up. And dance.” Gage sat stiffly in the only chair in the room, looking like he was trying not to breathe.
She’d have to get Gage home soon. They hadn’t brought any of his pain meds, and Grandpa was staying in the hospital until they could schedule his surgery. “That’s right. If you can dance out the door, Grandpa, I’ll take you home.”
Her grandfather moved his legs as if to get out of bed, and then froze, his face contorted.
Shelby softened. “Don’t argue anymore. Please.”
“A broken hip is the kiss of death,” Grandpa whispered. “Six months, tops.”
“I’ll be here with you every minute.” And by the time he came home, she’d have the living room cleared. She’d said she wanted to leave Harmony Valley; run to a place where no one got hurt. Her gaze caught Gage’s. She couldn’t go with him to Kentucky now.
Gage nodded, as if understanding.
“How can I?” she said out loud, feeling the need to explain herself. “My mom can’t come for more than a week. She’s got an important business pitch.”
Gage nodded. He understood.
That didn’t stop Shelby’s heart from breaking. “Maybe in six months...”
Gage shook his head.
Realistically, Shelby knew that her grandfather could no longer live alone. His balance had been precarious before this. He hadn’t been taking care of himself. She’d allowed him to bully her into ignoring what shouldn’t have been ignored.
“Go to Kentucky,” Grandpa grumbled. “I can fade into the twilight on my own.”
“No. You can’t.” She’d just lost Mae. She wasn’t losing him so soon. “I’m going to keep you safe.” Safe. Was there such a thing?
As she drove Gage back to the house, she didn’t think there was. “I’m sorry. About Kentucky.”
“I wouldn’t have let you come anyway. You’d hate it.”
Shelby took her eyes off the road long enough to glance at him. His face was in shadow. His eyes closed. “But I thought—”
He made a chopping motion with his hand, grunting at the effort. “I want you to be with me because you love me.” He winced. “Not because of some misplaced sense of duty.”
She wanted to tell Gage she loved him. But what would be the point? She couldn’t leave Grandpa here alone. And she knew the old man wouldn’t move to Kentucky.
* * *
GAGE NEARLY CRACKED another rib loading his suitcase in the truck. He hadn’t slept much at all last night. He hadn’t taken any pain medication, wanting to be clearheaded when he left the next morning.
Shelby cradled the orange tabby in her arms, watching him. Fanny watched him, too, honking sadly.
After his second and final suitcase was taken care of, he returned to the kitchen. “Look after the old man.”
She nodded. “I will.”
“If you raise them right, those two cats will be good mousers.”
&n
bsp; She tried to smile, struggling not to let him know her heart was breaking. His was, too.
The back of his hand brushed over her cheek. He’d always remember her like this—the sun catching the highlights in her sunflower hair, her eyes the color of the clear blue sky, the slight waver in her brave face. She’d been right all along. It hurt to love and lose someone. “Look after yourself.”
She nodded again. “Can I call you?”
He hesitated too long before answering.
“Never mind,” she mumbled.
Talking to her would be hard. He knew the taste of her lips and the smell of her hair. Talking to her would bring all that back, all that he’d lost, all that he’d traded to be a racehorse vet.
It was past time to go. He held out his arms.
She hugged him gingerly, but didn’t let go for a long time.
“I love you, Shelby. I always have. Since the day you walked into science class.” He wasn’t sure if he had said it out loud or if he was testing the words in his head. His arms tightened around her, despite his brain telling him to leave. Before his heart broke completely.
“Oh, Gage.” She stepped free of his embrace. “I wish... It doesn’t matter what I wish. Just know that I love you.” But she didn’t love him like they should spend the rest of their lives sharing a house, a mortgage and a bed. She didn’t love him like she wanted to have his children and laugh with him into old age. She loved him like her friend.
His heart knew it wasn’t enough.
* * *
GAGE WAS GONE.
Shelby ferried stacks of books and periodicals into the garage. She arranged them in her grandfather’s dusty, cobwebbed truck bed. She fed the kittens, Mushu and Gaipan, and Fanny. She washed her grandfather’s sheets, which smelled as if they hadn’t been washed since Easter.
Gage was gone.
She called Christine and told her she wouldn’t be working today. She called the hospital to see when her grandfather’s surgery was scheduled. She called Nate to find out the day and time of Mae’s funeral.
Gage was gone.
The house was too empty. She walked down the street. Stopped and peered up at the clouds. A car passed by and honked at her. Shelby waved.
Gage’s house was shut up tight. They’d fought over hypotheses and theorems in that house. They’d watched movies with his kid sister. And she’d never known he loved her.
Nick had leaped into her path that first week of school. He’d been exciting. A daredevil. She admired that in him. She, who wasn’t at all like her risk-taking mother.
Rounding the corner to Nick’s house, she noticed the bungalow’s windows were broken. He’d asked her to prom on that front porch. Gage had been there. They’d all hugged afterward. Later, when she and Gage were walking home, she’d joked that someday when she and Nick got married she wanted Gage to be her maid of honor.
How blind she’d been. Unwittingly hurtful.
She’d loved Nick with an innocent devotion. She’d assumed he’d grow out of his need for speed. She assumed they’d become closer and grow old together. Now she couldn’t imagine him aging. He’d be forever young in her memories.
Gage was careful. He’d protected that foal, taking the hit from the mare himself. He helped with high-risk deliveries because of his desire to protect life. He wasn’t like Nick.
She’d told Gage she loved him and he’d still walked away. She couldn’t hold it against him. He had a dream.
She wouldn’t think of him as Dead Gage any longer.
She’d think of him as Gage, the man who’d risked everything for her heart. Won it. And then let her go.
* * *
GAGE COULDN’T SEEM to lift his foot from the brake.
His truck remained at the crossroads leading west to the highway and Cloverdale.
Still, he couldn’t go.
His ribs hurt badly. His heart hurt worse.
She said she loved me.
In her kiss, Gage knew there was a promise of reciprocal love. If he was patient, if he put his dream on hold, he could wait for her to love him like a husband rather than a friend.
Kentucky, with all its wild green grass and excitement, beckoned.
Shelby’s face seemed superimposed in the clouds drifting past.
What good was a dream if you couldn’t share them with the one you loved?
She said she loved me.
She wanted to save the world.
He wanted her to save him, but to do so, he’d have to give up everything he’d worked for.
* * *
SHELBY WAS SITTING on the curb when she heard a vehicle pull around the corner. She glanced up to see Gage’s truck moving down the street toward her.
He parked and turned the engine off. With deliberate steps, Gage left the truck and headed for her. Her heart started to pound.
“Gage?” She stood, uncertain. “Did you forget something?”
“Yes,” he said with purpose.
“I forgot I shouldn’t leave you. Not ever again.” He framed her face with his hands, and then he kissed her.
Here was love, injured, kind, powerful. Here was love, ready to catch her when she fell and be supported in return. Here was love, in the man who knew her best. Gage.
Shelby sank against him, accepting his kiss and all the unspoken promises that went along with it. Her life was changing again. Not in a blink and not because of disaster. But because of the love of the man in her arms.
“I can follow you to Kentucky later,” she breathed, love giving her strength to let him go, if only for a short time. “After Grandpa is walking.”
“Not a chance.” Gage rested his forehead on hers. “He needs you. He needs us. You’ll keep him safe. I’ll keep his brain occupied at the clinic.”
“But what about racehorses? What about delivering the next Secretariat? I won’t stand in the way of your dream.”
“You are my dream.” His arms came around her. “Maybe I can go back to the equine hospital, or I could probably build a birthing stall in back of Doc’s clinic. Whatever it takes.”
“I love you,” she whispered for the second time that day.
“Shel, I don’t want to rush you—”
“I already have a wedding dress. We can use my grandmother’s wedding ring.”
“What about our families? Your parents?”
She knew they’d ask questions and advise her to wait. She wasn’t going to miss out on another minute of love. “I have something blue.” Nick’s bandana, tucked in her suitcase. “I think the dress and shoes are both old and new—they’ve never been worn. I just need something borrowed.” Inspiration struck. “And I know just who to ask.”
“Why do I feel as if I’m being barnacled when you’re smiling?”
“Gage, I love you.” She twined her arms around his neck. “I know you don’t like Brussels sprouts and you’re allergic to peaches. I know you’re smart and gentle and kind. You have just as strong a protective instinct as I do.” She pulled him closer until their lips were almost touching. “We both know how precious life is and how short it can be.”
“No regrets,” Gage murmured.
“Marry me today, Gage Jamero. If it makes you feel better, we can break my grandfather out of the hospital for a few hours to be a witness.”
He didn’t answer. He kissed her instead.
And that was answer enough.
* * *
IN THE END, they weren’t married alone. But they were married the next day.
Gage called his parents, who were ecstatic to witness his and Shelby’s vows in the county clerk’s office in Cloverdale. His sister drove home from college and acted as Shelby’s flower girl. Shelby made a live connection to her parents overseas via a cell phone app so they
could be present. They checked Grandpa out of the hospital to be the best man. He was wheeled about and fussed over by Agnes, Rose and Mildred. Christine and Slade came down with Ryan for the event. There was no pomp. There was no glitz. But they were together, surrounded by friends and family, and in love, and nothing else mattered.
“Do you have everything covered, Shelby?” Agnes fluffed Shelby’s short train as they stood on the steps in the crisp late morning sunshine. “Something old?”
“My dress.” Whereas before there’d been emptiness, Shelby felt filled with love and happiness.
Rose snapped a picture. “Something new?”
“I bought these earrings.” Small pearl studs. They’d caught her eye when she and Gage were picking out wedding rings yesterday.
“Something borrowed?” Perched above them on the landing, Mildred was using the seat on her walker to conserve her strength.
“My mom loaned her my grandmother’s pearls.” Gage’s sister, Penny, gave her a hug. She’d been smiling since they’d had an all-girl breakfast together earlier. “She’d love being part of your special day with Gage.”
“All you need is something blue,” Agnes said.
“I have that, too.” Shelby patted her shoulder strap. She’d tucked Nick’s folded blue bandana there.
“It’s time,” Ryan called from the doorway. He wore a blue button-down with a beautiful black silk tie, borrowed from Slade, who apparently had an abundant supply of ties from his Wall Street days.
“Your flowers are pretty,” Penny said as they climbed the steps slowly, letting the older women go in first. “I love purple and red.”
“Me, too.” Shelby paused on the landing to glance heavenward, sending a silent thank-you to Mae.
Once inside, Shelby followed Penny into the clerk’s office. Just inside the door, Christine stood beneath Slade’s arm, her hand on his bright red tie. Nearby, Grandpa sat in his wheelchair. He held out his hand to Shelby. She took it, but leaned in to kiss his cheek.
One Perfect Year Page 23