by Jo Willow
“No way. Are we still on for massages on Tuesdays?”
Beth felt the floor shift because things were already changing. She had to shift them back and make things stable between them again. She moved closer to him and put her arms around his waist in a hug that was familiar to both of them. He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her back, kissing the top of her head.
“Mitch, nothing has changed. Nothing. Dinner at my place, massages on Tuesdays, and I’m going to help you with the gallery when you need it. Please don’t pull back from me. I couldn’t handle it if I thought I’d driven you away with sex.”
Mitch moved his hands to her face and tilted her head back.
“Driven me away? Beth, I wanna have sex with you right now. I’ll probably be thinking about it all day. I want you in my bed tonight. I’m pulling back because I don’t want you to feel like I’m using you. I care a great deal for you, it’s just...”
“Don’t. I know what comes next. Can we just agree that we care a great deal for each other and move on? Are you able to do that?”
His hands were still on her face and her arms were still around his waist.
“Can I still do this?”
“Of course you can.”
He nodded once and then leaned down slowly. When he kissed her, it was intense with no pretenses of being a friendly peck. He invaded her mouth and her senses and she melted against him and responded in kind. When he pulled back he took a deep breath and fought for control.
“Please tell me I can still do that.”
“Oh yeah. I don’t think I could give that up either.”
“Then we’ll be fine and I can cope. But Beth?”
He was still gazing at her and his breath was warm against her face. She wanted another kiss in the world’s worst way.
“Hmm?”
“I can’t help it. If you want me again, I won’t say no. Even knowing what I know, I want you too much to say no. Do you understand?”
Beth was wrapped up in sensation and heat. He’d just told her he wanted her and she was a jumbled up mess of aching need and she couldn’t get past it. She mumbled a response and he grinned.
“Don’t say no. I’ve got it. Never say no...”
Mitch kissed her again and lifted her by her bottom. She felt him rubbing against her and she wrapped her legs around him. Her dress was up around her hips and his hands were making her crazy.
“One more time Beth. Okay? Just one more time.”
He didn’t give her time to answer. He was tugging at her underwear and she loosened her legs to let them fall. When he had her bare under her dress, he unbuttoned himself and lifted her onto the counter. She felt him enter her and she gasped a second before he kissed her again.
His forehead was pressed against hers and their eyes were closed while they surrendered to the sensations they’d both begun to crave.
“Beth, tell me now that you can give this up. Tell me that you can walk away from this and never have it again.”
He pushed harder and she moaned, pulling him even closer with her legs.
“No. I need this. I need this with you Mitch.”
“We both do. You’re spending the night with me tonight.”
“Yes. Absolutely.”
“Good. I want you there by six o’clock. I’ll be done and waiting by then.”
He’d begun to move faster and she started panting and whimpering. She was seconds away and he could feel it, he knew her body that well now. He was close as well and it was costing him to hold back. When she finally stiffened and moaned, he was right there with her. He slowed down but continued moving, making it last for both of them.
They stayed joined together, forehead to forehead, breathless.
“I’m going to have a problem today Beth. Do you know what I’ll be remembering while I’m in that barn?”
“Do you know what I’ll be remembering when I make my bed? My god Mitch, what’s the matter with us?”
“It turns out not a thing. We’ve both been on a shelf for so long, we just needed the right partner to bring this out. I’m glad it’s you Beth. I’m so damned glad it’s you.”
She opened her eyes and he was staring at her with a sincerity that was so stark she couldn’t help but smile.
“Me too. I wouldn’t want this with anyone but you.”
Instead of scaring him, her words gave him a feeling of peace and he felt a closeness to her that superseded his fear.
He kissed her again, and then helped her off the counter. She picked up her underwear and cocked her head at him.
“You understand that this can’t happen when the kids get back.”
“What? Sex?”
“Sex in the kitchen or in the barn. We’ll have to get sneaky.”
“I can do sneaky. Right now though, I need to go or resign myself to no work at all. You’re standing there holding your underwear and I know you’re naked under that dress.”
“But we just...how can you?...”
“Years of pent up frustration? Hell, I don’t know. I just know I’m looking at you and thinking all kinds of thoughts that are probably inappropriate. I gotta go.”
Beth pulled him down for a kiss and when he released her, her eyes were dark and he hesitated for a minute. He shook his head to clear his mind and went to the back door.
“Mitch, I want you to think about something today.”
“Shit Beth, I’ll already be thinking about all kinds of things today.”
“Yeah? Well add this. I wanna taste you. Think about that.”
He leaned against the door and groaned. He ran his hand through his hair and swallowed.
“You’re trying to kill me aren’t you? You want nonstop sex until the kids get home. Is that it?”
She cocked her head again and started to move in his direction.
“Stop. You just stop right there woman. I have got to work or we won’t open on time. Six o’clock, my place. Be there or I’ll come looking for you. Understand?”
Beth giggled and blew him a kiss. He went out the back door and the house was quiet again.
Beth poured a cup of coffee and sat down at the table. She put her underwear down next to the cup and that simple act made her put her head in her hands.
“What the fuck have I gotten myself into?”
She finished her coffee, then cleaned the kitchen and got busy in the house.
Mitch was doing his best to concentrate on pottery. He’d stopped looking at his watch around noon and he began to make progress. Twice he’d almost called her and asked her to come over for lunch, but that excuse even sounded lame to him. He wanted her. He wanted to take her about ten different ways and hopefully get to the point that he could concentrate on something other than how she felt and made him feel.
He was deep into glazing a pot when he heard a sound at the door. His body sprang to attention because he assumed it was Beth having problems of her own. He smiled and looked up to see Marla standing there, smiling back.
“Marla what are you doing here?”
“I wanted to see where you worked and I wanted to see if everything came out alright last night. I like the barn. It’s a great space.”
“Thanks. Can I get you something to drink?”
“That would be nice, thank-you. Did everything work out with your friend?”
Mitch finished the glazing and wiped his hands on a dry towel. He walked towards her and noticed she was wearing an awfully short skirt. Her sleeveless blouse showed tan skin and her sandals revealed perfectly pedicured feet. He couldn’t help but think that she even dressed up to stand in a barn.
He opened the back door and she walked in ahead of him, taking it all in. She never believed that he didn’t have money, but after being confronted by the evidence, she had to admit he’d been telling her the truth. The old farmhouse was tidy, but outdated. There would be no way she’d ever live there. For right now though, she’d concentrate on the yummy man and worry about their living arrangements later.
&nb
sp; Mitch poured her a glass of wine and glanced at the clock. It was four-forty and he had plenty of time to get to the bottom of her visit, get rid of her and shower.
“So why are you really here Marla? I’ve known you for years and you’ve never once expressed an interest in where I worked. Why now?”
Marla wasn’t Beth. Marla didn’t care how it looked or what anyone else thought. She went after what she wanted and she went after it with a vengeance.
He was leaning with his back against the breakfast bar, watching her. She put her wine glass down on the table and stood directly in front of him. She started to unbutton his work shirt and he stilled her hands.
“We need to get something straight here. I’m not interested in any relationship with you other than a professional one. I’ve tried being tactful, I’ve tried dropping hints. Now it’s time to be direct. I am not going to sleep with you.”
Not to be deterred, she still wasn’t convinced and tried a patented move that she’d used on other men in the past with positive results. She took his hands in hers, pulled them behind her, and placed them on her bottom. She plastered herself against him and grabbed his hair, pulling him in for a kiss.
Mitch was shocked. Her aggressiveness turned him on, but not nearly as much as the thought of hurting Beth turned him off. He felt her moving against him like a cat in heat and he found himself inching her skirt up. She moved one hand down and unbuttoned his jeans while she kept up the oral assault. When she freed him, he jerked her skirt up and found a thong.
“Marla, I can’t do this. We can’t do this.”
“Don’t be stupid Mitch. We can do anything we want. We’re both free agents. Are you engaged?”
“No.”
“Married?”
“No, but...”
“Good. Neither am I. Now shut-up and take care of business Mitch.”
She had him in her hand and he was moving against her while his hands made short work of the thong. Her height worked in their favor and she swung him around until it was her leaning with her hips against the counter.
This was his chance to get away. This was his opportunity to back off and tell her to leave. Instead, he pulled her leg up to his hip and it put him at the perfect angle. He shoved into her and closed his eyes, trying to forget that what he was doing was wrong. He started moving hard and fast and she shoved at him even harder, driving him wild. He didn’t care if he gave her pleasure, with her it was about seeking his own. She squeezed him and he moaned so she did it again.
“Oh fuck Marla, I’m gonna...”
“Good. Do it. Give it to me Mitch, now.”
He slammed into her hard, lifting her off her feet. She hung on and felt him spasm. When he was done, she lowered her leg unceremoniously and straightened her skirt. She picked the ruined thong up off the floor and tucked it in her purse.
Guilt was written all over his face. It was more than she’d hoped for. She had him now. She knew he was an honest man and if the little red-haired girl next door got in her way, she’d throw this out there and see how it landed. Marla was determined to land a Tanner and she didn’t care which one.
He was straightening his clothing and trying to figure out what he was going to say to Beth. Nothing would make this right because it was wrong. When he looked up at her, Marla had to blink because of the venom in his eyes.
“Mitch, we did nothing wrong. What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her. It’ll be our little secret and one we can enjoy anytime you like. I can make you feel so good you won’t remember your own name, much less hers. Relax. We’re fuck buddies. Nothing more.”
Mitch recoiled as if he’d been slapped. Her vulgarity repulsed him and he had a firm grasp of what Beth had felt that morning when he’d suggested they were friends-with-benefits. It amounted to the same thing, he’d just phrased it differently. Now he felt like shit two different ways.
“Marla, we’re not fuck-buddies or any other kind of buddy for that matter. I don’t know what that was, but it’ll never happen again. I can guarantee it, put it in writing and sign it in blood. I wouldn’t touch you again with rubber gloves and a twelve inch probe. Now get out of my house and don’t come back. If I see you in my yard, barn, or driveway again, I’m getting a restraining order. Can I make it any clearer than that?”
Marla was furious. Nobody talked to her like that. Not a Tanner, not another gallery owner, and especially not some two bit potter that worked in a barn.
“Be very careful Mitch. You don’t want me as an enemy.”
“What are you gonna do? Tell Beth what we did? I’m gonna tell her myself and beg her to forgive me. What have you got Marla?”
“Contacts shit-for-brains. I’ve got business contacts that you need. Gallery owners across the globe. I’ve got the personal numbers of big spenders with a thing for pottery. It would be a fucking shame if your gallery went tits up before you sold one single pot. Think about that. Think about that long and hard. Then call me and apologize. I might forgive you.”
“Get the hell out and don’t hold your breath.”
“Suit yourself. She’ll never forgive you though. Not for this. You fucked yourself as well as me. Congratulations dumbass.”
Marla walked out the back door with a grin on her face and Mitch felt his world fall at his feet. She couldn’t be right. He could make new business contacts. It would be hard, but he could do it.
He sat down and put his head in his hands and amended that thought. He could do it, but not without Beth.
At six o’clock on the dot, Beth walked in his back door with a casserole in her hand. She’d stopped by the barn first and he wasn’t in there, so she knew he was in the house. She slid the casserole into the fridge and slipped off her flats, leaving them at the back door. She walked quietly through the house and heard the shower running in his bedroom.
She stripped down and went into the bathroom. She could see him leaning, his hands braced against the wall, his shoulders shaking. He was crying. Mitch was crying and she suddenly felt like she was intruding on something very private. She could walk away, dress quickly and wait in the kitchen, or she could climb in. It was simple.
Beth put a determined look on her face and climbed into the shower behind him. It startled him and he turned around. His eyes darted around and she’d never seen him so distressed. She wrapped her arms around him and held on tightly, the side of her face pressed against his chest.
He stiffened at first, not knowing what he should do. He didn’t deserve her affection and he knew he’d lose it completely in about half an hour. He decided to be selfish for now and take it while he had it. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her head over and over again, the water raining down on both of them.
“Beth, we have to talk.”
She leaned back and looked up at him, trying not to look as frightened as she felt.
“That sounds ominous. Have I done something? Said something?”
“No of course not. Why?”
“Pardon the analogy, but it sounds like you’re breaking up with me. I mean I know we’re just friends and all, but it sounds like it’s over.”
“We’re more than friends. I didn’t realize how much more until today and I’m sorry for insulting you by implying otherwise. That was wrong of me. I made what we have sound cheap and sleazy and it couldn’t be farther from that. Do you forgive me?”
“Yes of course I do. Mitch, what’s wrong? You look devastated. Please, just tell me.”
Mitch leaned down and turned off the water. He’d scrubbed as much of Marla off his body as he could stand without removing skin. No matter how hard he scrubbed, he still felt dirty and used. He reached for towels and wrapped one around Beth, then wrapped the other around himself. He helped her from the tub, then held her hand while he led her into the bedroom. He pulled back the blanket and sheet and looked at her.
“Would you lay down with me while I tell you? Once I start talking, you’ll never lay down with me again and I need to hold you rig
ht now. I promise I’ll let you go when it’s over, but for right now, please?”
Beth crawled into bed and moved over, making room for him. When the were both near the center of the bed under the covers, he pulled her into his arms. She smiled at him and he felt even worse.
“I swear to god Beth, you’re the prettiest girl I know. When you smile at me, there’s nothing in this world that I can’t do.”
“That’s because there is nothing in this world that you can’t do. It’s got nothing to do with me.”
“It’s got everything to do with you. I’d still be welding and dreaming if it wasn’t for you.”
“That’s just money. That’s nothin’.”
“It’s more than money. You believe in me. You help me and you take care of me. You do all of those things and I betrayed you. I betrayed you in the worst way possible and I am so sorry. You cannot imagine how sorry I am. I swear to you Beth, if you can forgive me, it will never happen again and I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I will, I swear it.”
He’d started tearing up again and Beth was getting worried. She started kissing and cuddling him, willing him to calm down and relax. His hands hadn’t strayed from her back and that worried her as well. In the last twenty-four hours, if his hands were anywhere near her, they were anywhere but on her waist.
“Mitch, take a deep breath and tell me what happened.”
“You’re gonna hate me.”
“I might get angry with you, but I could never hate you.”
“Oh believe me. You could and you will.”
“Mitch, look at me.”
He finally made solid eye contact and she saw in him the same thing he’d seen in her not too long ago. Fear. He was terrified. She was about to add to it or alleviate it. She didn’t know which, but she had to take a shot.
“Mitch, I love you. Whatever it is, we’ll work through it. I. Love. You. Now tell me what you’ve done.”
His grip tightened and he pressed his forehead to hers. He watched her eyes while he blurted it out.