by Emma Vikes
But then Julian pushed José and stalked to my car idling in front of their house. I lowered the window on the passenger side. Up close, his eyes looked so dark and it made me want to be careful with my words or else his anger would be directed at me. “Is it okay if you drop Violet and I off at the nearest available hotel?”
José was standing in the same spot and looking at us with pleading eyes. I glanced back at Violet who was curled in a ball and sound asleep. If Julian brought her inside the house and to his room, she would wake up in an instant because of the booming music. As for the party, it didn’t seem like it would be stopping any time soon.
I could agree to what Julian wanted and bring them to the nearest hotel. If the odds were in our favour, then they could book a room and spend the night but if the odds weren’t, then we would end up looking for another one. The bottom line was that it would take time and they were both tired and there was another option that could be presented as the easiest solution if only I would be willing.
Glancing at Violet once more, I knew I had to present the suggestion. “You two could spend the night at my place. As long as you agree to sleep in the living room.”
I’d always tolerated the hours that I had to spend with Julian. As much as I didn’t want to admit it, there was no denying that today was an exception and even last night was too. Julian was a lot tolerable when he had his niece around and it seemed like Violet basked him in a different light, plus we hadn’t really finished our conversation.
Julian’s eyes flashed with shock for a moment and then he nodded his head curtly, acting as if he wasn’t surprised with the suggestion. “Give me a minute to grab our things and then we could head out.”
I nodded and rolled back the window and José was waving at me, calling my attention and I just waved him off. When he asked me if I could allow Julian and Violet to spend the night with me so he could have his party, I said no without hesitation. I liked my solace but I hadn’t met Violet then and I really didn’t want her to ruin her peaceful sleep.
My phone pinged from a message from José, asking me where Julian was going to spend the night but I ignored the message. If Julian didn’t tell them then they didn’t need to know I offered. After five minutes, Julian came back to the car, still ignoring his bandmates bluntly.
“You know you’re like a girl when you’re upset,” I mused as he slammed my car door shut and motioned for me to go.
He scoffed and ran a hand through his hair. “Anyone who had a long day like me could relate to why I’m absolutely pissed to find a party going on in my house.”
“There’s that or maybe you’re simply getting old and losing your party energy,” I teased as I drove us to my house. Rather than retaliating, Julian was peacefully snoring. I couldn’t help but chuckle at the sight of him. His lashes kissed his cheeks and he looked like a little kid fast asleep like that. There was no trace of the rockstar that everyone seemed to fangirl over.
We were in my house after 30 minutes when I woke up Julian. He stirred, his eyebrows furrowing and I anticipated him to yell at me or something because he looked pissed until he registered where he was. He rubbed his palm against his face for a moment and shook his head. “I’ll carry her to your house.”
With a nod, I reached for his bags and helped him with it. Julian paused and stared at me for a moment and then shook his head again and got out of his seat. He opened the backseat and then carried Violet carefully out of the car with ease. The two of us made our way to the door and I put in the passcode and pointed Julian to where my room was so he could bring in Violet.
“I’ll change her clothes,” I said softly as I watched him climb the stairs with Violet in his arms. There was something about the way Julian cared for his niece that I knew would make his fans fall in love with him even more.
I headed to the kitchen and took two glasses and filled both half with wine. I wasn’t sure why but after the day we had and after the way his friends upset him, I felt like wine would be a good way to cool him down. I heard his footsteps as he descended the stairs and he appeared in the kitchen, looking absolutely worn down and tired and I took his glass and handed it to him.
“There’s a bathroom at the end of the hall on the right. You can change there. I’ll just change Violet and change into something more comfortable and give you your pillows and blanket.”
I left my glass on the kitchen counter and was ready to make my way to the stairs but then felt Julian reach for my hand and then tug me back to him until I landed on his chest. “Oh.”
His arms wrapped around me and I could feel his breath tickling my neck. He tightened his hold on me and I heard him sigh quietly to himself, pulling me even tighter if it was possible. I stood there, in his arms, unsure of what I was meant to do until slowly- almost as if my body knew how it was meant to react- I laid my head against his chest. We stood there in the middle of the kitchen, Julian’s arms wrapped around me, and for some insane reason, it felt right.
As suddenly as he hugged me, Julian let me go and took a step back, as if realizing what he had just done and then grabbed his glass and chugged the wine. “Mind if I drink more of this?”
I was still left in a trance of when his body was against mine so I numbly nodded. “I’m…I’m going to…go change.”
Leaving him alone in my kitchen, I grabbed the bag he brought for Violet to change her into comfier clothes. After I finished changing Violet, I went into my bathroom and stared at myself in the mirror. My eyes looked bright and I wasn’t sure where that spark came from.
“God, pull yourself together, Audrey!” I whisper-yelled to myself. “So what if he hugged you? He had a long day and he was upset with his friends. That hug must’ve been a spur of the moment thing…”
But god, it felt so incredibly right to be in his arms. Like I was always meant to be in them.
Jesus Christ, pull yourself together, Audrey!
Quickly changing into my pajamas, I grabbed two extra pillows and a blanket from the linen room and then descended down the stairs to find Julian…nowhere in sight. I left the pillows and blanket on the sofa and looked for him in the kitchen to find it empty. The door of the veranda was open and I took a peak to find him staring at the night sky, the glass of wine still in his hands.
“Hey.”
Julian looked up and met my eyes. Under the moon’s silvery glow, his eyes were the same color, more silver than blue or gray. The corners of his lips twitched into a small smile. He held the glass in his hand and his smile turned a little sheepish. “You have good wine here, it’s sort of surprising.”
I let out a low chuckle as I took a step out, hugging myself as the cool night air kissed my skin. My mind flashed back to how Julian pulled me into a hug earlier, wrapping me in his warm embrace. “Thanks. It calms me down after spending a day as your assistant.”
He chuckled and then lowered the glass. “You sure you’re okay with Violet sleeping next to you?”
“Why aren’t you complaining that I’m letting you sleep on the couch rather than the guest room?”
Julian rolled his eyes. “Because this is your revenge since I’ve been making you pick up dog shit.”
He wasn’t wrong about that and I flashed him a wicked grin as I leaned against the railing. “Just knock on my door if you need anything more, okay?”
“What if I need to sleep with you?”
His question caught me off-guard and I sucked in a breath, looking at him in shock. Julian had a sheepish yet innocent look and I knew he was teasing. A part of me wanted to ask him why he had suddenly hugged me but a part of me also didn’t want to ruin that memory with whatever Julian’s reasoning was.
He laughed and then rolled his eyes. “You haven’t been retaliating the way you always do. It’s getting a little boring bantering with you if it’s one-sided, Audrey.”
I let out a shaky breath, not wanting him to notice that he was affecting me in some way. “I’m too tired to think of snarky comebacks, Julian. I thought you were
tired.”
He was quiet for a moment and then he shrugged, sipping his wine. “I never really answered your question earlier.”
My eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “What question?”
“The one about Violet and women’s worth.”
I suddenly remembered it, about how he wanted his niece to be aware of her worth so she wouldn’t end up having her heart broken but he broke women’s heart without remorse. “I didn’t ask a question though.”
Julian let out a breath and shrugged. “Yes, you didn’t but you didn’t have to. You’re wondering why I break their hearts as easily as I do.”
“Why do you?” I whispered, looking at Julian. His eyes met mine and the left corner of his mouth twitched upward, a smirk grazing his lips. Suddenly, he looked every bit of the Casanova he was five years ago, full of himself and cocky.
“Because I never took into consideration- much less really care- about their feelings and their perspective.”
He said it so casually and easily that the truth of the matter pierced through my heart. No matter how long it had been or how old we were now, Julian would still be a heartbreaker. “That’s kind of insensitive, don’t you think?”
“They always knew what they were getting themselves into every time they pushed themselves to me, begging me for my attention. They attract me physically, that’s true, but I can’t help it if my heart doesn’t feel anything but my dick does,” Julian drawled, smirking fully this time and his eyes shined with desire.
It disgusted me.
“They throw themselves at me knowing how I’ll always treat them, hoping they could change me, and completely disregarding their worth.” His voice had lowered down as he said these and took a step closer to me. I could feel his warmth radiating and enveloping me, “I don’t think it’s my job to tell them how much they’re worth. They should already know that so unless you’re a woman who doesn’t even value herself, I’m sorry because I won’t know how to value you.”
Julian kept stepping closer to me and my heart raced at the sudden close proximity. “So you want a girl who knows her worth and value. What happens when you find her?”
“This.”
Suddenly his hands were on my waist and he pulled me closer to him, his lips crashing against mine in a zealous kiss that left me breathless. His lips moved against mine and I let out a gasp when he suddenly grabbed me and pressed me against the railing of the veranda. His hands were on my neck, partly cupping my face and I could feel his tongue asking for entrance.
I was frozen for a moment, the shock creeping through my system until my mind registered what was going on. I could push Julian away and slap him for what he was doing. But my hands snaked around his waist and rested on his back and I stood on my tip-toes as my mouth opened to allow him access.
I gasped loudly when Julian bit my bottom lip gently and my fingers weaved into his hair. He tasted like spearmint and smelled like pine and I was drawn in to the taste and smell of Julian Hudson as his tongue attacked mine, roaming the inside of my mouth, grazing my teeth. Suddenly he pulled away and I could hear my own breathing coming through my lips as Julian dipped his head and began kissing my neck.
Moaning, I pulled Julian towards me closer, eyes closed as my body ignited into flames at the feel of his chapped lips giving my body chaste kisses. It was when I felt his hands dipped into the inside of my pajama top, his thumb caressing my under-boob and the satisfying moan that left my mouth that snapped me back into my senses.
I pushed Julian back and tried to catch my breath. When I looked up, Julian was staring at me, eyes dark that it almost looked black. He visibly swallowed but there didn’t seem to be any trace of regret. “Audrey…”
Shaking my head, I held up a hand and took a step away from him. “I…I’m going to bed.”
“Audrey,” he was still calling my name as I rushed back inside the house and I almost ran into my room. Shutting the door and locking it, I pressed my back against it and sank down onto the floor, pulling my knees close to me as I closed my eyes and tried to make sense of what happened.
Julian Hudson and I just kissed.
And I didn’t really want it to stop.
13
Julian
Maybe I wasn’t exactly in the right state of mind when I kissed Audrey.
For one thing, we hated each other. There was no denying the animosity that we held towards each other. Kissing her the way I did, merely complicated things between us considering that we were only tolerating each other.
But the thing was, in that moment, it felt like the right thing to do, as if it was the only thing to do. Since the time my lips brushed against hers before the fireworks display started, I was caught in an Audrey-induced trance. For a moment, I thought I had snapped out of it when I found out that José had thrown a party at the house even after I had asked him not to do so earlier. But then pulling her the way I did for a hug, I knew right then that I wasn’t.
Hell, I didn’t even know why I hugged her like that.
All I knew was that I was upset and pissed and she was right there in front of me and I just wanted to seek comfort from anyone.
But that kiss…
I don’t know why I kissed Audrey. We were only having a decent conversation on my behaviour towards women and dating and before I knew it, I felt my lips crashed against hers. It was as if there was something whispering in my ear to feel her. It felt like I craved her, and maybe it was the wine that I drank or the fact that I was tired that made me lucid and ignited my desire to have her even more.
That must’ve been why I kissed her. There wasn’t really any other reason than just that and it honestly sounded logical to me, so I didn’t want to think of anything more to it than just that. Because if we were being honest here, was there any other reason than just plain lust for that kiss to happen? I had had a couple of drinks in my system, Audrey was attractive; it didn’t take a genius to solve that puzzle and it didn’t even matter if we hated each other.
And in the instant my lips met yours,
My soul burst into flame,
You’re addicting and satisfying and baby, I crave
Stay with me right here in this moment,
Stay with me in this lifetime
I’ll be yours for how long you’ll want it
Be it in this lifetime and even in the next one
I inwardly groaned as the lyrics to that song came into my mind again. It was something that came to me when my lips brushed against Audrey for a fleeting moment at the amusement park, and I thought that the lyrics was just as fleeting too. But kissing Audrey again with the kind of passion I had earlier brought back the lyrics to my mind, and I would be a fool if I disregarded it.
My band and I were in the middle of a crisis. We needed new songs to rebuild our brand, and I had to write down any song lyrics that came into my mind in a heartbeat.
I usually carried a pen with me to write down lyrics, but never carried any paper, so I had the lyrics written down on my hand. I wasn’t sure how long I’d been staring at it but I knew that they were the lyrics to the new song. It wasn’t meant to be the first verse or even the second one and as I tried in vain to think of the right words, my brain kept farting on me until I finally fell to my side and allowed sleep to overtake me.
“So, let me get this straight, you still hate Julian Hudson with every fiber of your being but you also just happened to invite him to sleepover at your house!”
“Gee, I never thought you thought I didn’t have an ounce of kindness within me.” Audrey’s voice sounded wry as she responded.
“It’s not that, Aud. It’s just that, you hate him.” There was an emphasis on the three words and I wanted to groan in annoyance because there was really no need to rub it in.
“He was willing to sleep in a hotel after we came back from Disney to find a full party going on in their place,” Audrey began to explain and I heard her yawn tiredly. How long had she been awake? What time was it anyway? �
��Violet was asleep already and we didn’t really want her to sleep during a party. He wanted to stay in the nearest hotel but I thought it would just be better if they stayed here.”
I opened my eyes slightly so I could see her and Theo. They were standing in the middle of the living room, with little distance from the couch I was sleeping on. Theo was looking at Audrey with curious eyes. I think it might have been hard for him to believe that Audrey was willing to offer me a place to sleep when she always claimed to hate me with a burning passion.
That burning passion last night wasn’t hate, though.
“Stop judging me, Theo,” Audrey said after a while and shrugged. I watched as she turned to face her friend and shook her head, “You’re one of the people who told me to give him a chance. Benefit of the doubt and what not, that you and Amber kept babbling about.”
Instead of replying to what she said, Theo moved forward. He still hadn’t noticed that I was awake so I quickly closed my eyes again but could feel him approaching. “Why does he have your notepads here…”
I was quick to react and grabbed the notepad from his hand. I didn’t want the song I wrote in his hand just yet. “There’s something called invasion of privacy.”
Theo’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “You were awake this whole time?”
I sat up and shrugged, stretching a little as my eyes darted around Audrey’s house. “You two talk loud. Where’s Violet?”
Audrey pointed at her room upstairs. “I had her change into a swimsuit of mine that I never wore when I was young.”
I made a face at that. “It’s not skimpy or anything, right?”
Theo plopped on the couch beside me and laughed loudly. “Oh dear, Audrey was a nun when it came to swimsuits during the early days. You don’t have to worry about that.”
I couldn’t help but grin in amusement as Audrey chucked a throw pillow at Theo. She turned her attention on me but as our gazes met, she quickly turned away. A faint blush painted her cheeks and I realized that she still remembered the kiss we shared last night as vividly as I did. “Want lunch?”