by Emma Vikes
“I’ve missed you,” Amber said softly and maybe she meant it as a whisper, something only for the two of them.
I think my world just stopped spinning.
Julian let out a small laugh, almost a giggle. “Me too. I missed you.”
Was that my heart breaking?
I felt like I was intruding in such an intimate moment and I wished for the ground to swallow me whole right now so they could have their privacy. The two of them pulled apart, as if they sensed that I was still in the room with them and I felt absolutely awkward then. Or maybe they didn’t because they were smiling at each other and Amber had heart eyes for Julian all over again. It was so clear that I felt the familiar sickening annoyance I had once felt.
Along with something else simmering inside of me that I couldn’t quite name.
“When Aud told me that she was going to be your assistant for a month because of the whole situation she has in, I couldn’t believe it,” Amber began to say, tilting her head a little and beaming at Julian. Sometimes I felt as if there was a flashlight shining on Amber and she wore glitter because she always seemed to sparkle when she turned on her charm.
Julian chuckled and then looked at me and I felt like this was the first time since he came in that he actually looked at me. I could feel the weight of the blue and gray as he crossed the short distance between us and reached a hand to my face, wiping something just below my mouth and causing turmoil inside of me at the sudden gesture.
“I didn’t want to believe it was her standing in my front door that day and having her agree as my assistant was merely for my own entertainment,” Julian began to say, his gaze still fixed on me as the corner of his mouth twitched into a small, endearing smile. “I never realized how she could actually be a saving grace. Especially, her organizational skills.”
Amber raised an eyebrow and I could feel her eyeing the close proximity between Julian and I. Swallowing, I took a step back and then pointed to the stairs. “I have to finish getting ready. I’ll bring your suitcase in the room.”
Before I could make a move to grab Amber’s suitcase, Julian quickly took it and looked at Amber. “I’ll bring it up. Be back soon.”
I could feel Amber’s gaze on us when the two of us headed upstairs but when I turned to look at her, she had plopped herself back on the couch and was on her phone. Julian and Amber broke up almost six years ago. I held Julian accountable for Amber’s actions and I hated him for it.
We’d spent nearly three weeks together and although it started out rough until it got to the point that I’d grown to tolerate Julian’s idiotic and cocky tendencies, it was the soft moments that made me see him in a different light. They were the same moments that made my heart beat like crazy and it made me see why Amber may have fallen in love with Julian, what she was trying to bring out amidst the cocky heartbreaker front he put up.
I opened my room and I could hear Julian following in beside me. “You can just set it at the side. Amber wouldn’t be thrilled to have been left alone there-,”
He wrapped his arms around me, snaking them around my waist and pulling me closer to her. My back hit his chest and I could feel his head on my shoulder. One thing I’d learned about Julian Hudson after I finally allowed myself to stop seeing him as a villain, and it was also something I’d always known but always denied: he was incredibly- sometimes sickeningly- sweet.
“What are you doing?” I asked quietly but I didn’t make any move to remove his hands wrapped tightly around my waist. As much as I hated to admit it, I liked the warmth that only he brought me because it felt like it reached to my heart, warming me all over, as if his warmth could reach my soul.
Julian let go and I turned around to face him. He had a schoolboy smile on his face and he looked so boyish and charming at that moment that I wanted to pinch him because he looked adorable. “Hugging Amber made me realize that I don’t really hug you as much. I thought you’d like it.”
I narrowed my eyes at him playfully and then pushed him away. “Make sure that my best friend is entertained and…”
“Don’t break her heart again,” Julian finished while nodding as he wiggled his eyebrows at me. He reached for the knob on the door but then turned to look at me again. “You know it doesn’t really matter if you finish your makeup or not.”
I waited for the punchline but Julian didn’t add anything. “I’m not sure if that’s meant to be a compliment because you’re leaving it at that. I mean, you could always mean that no matter how much makeup I put, I’ll still look like a monster.”
Julian laughed but didn’t nod in agreement. “Violet said you were pretty. My niece doesn’t really lie and for the record, that one time I saw you without your makeup on, all I could think of was my god, she’s even more beautiful without it.”
I stood there, rooted in my spot as I watched Julian leave, my heart racing erratically that I felt like it could cause a stroke. I took in deep calming breaths until I was capable of finishing my makeup. Damn Julian, for having this kind of effect on me. I liked it better when he made me shake with anger because he was an asshole, not shake with feelings because he was too sweet.
Once I was done, I quickly grabbed my purse and stuffed my iPad in it because it had the list of things I was meant to do for Julian today. When I was halfway down the stairs, I could hear Julian and Amber’s conversation. They weren’t in the living room anymore.
“Oh god, I always knew you had it in you to finally pull it off!” Amber said and when I reached the kitchen, she had her hand against Julian’s chest and she was smiling at him so genuinely. “I’m sure your Grandpa is smiling at you in heaven.”
Julian looked down on the ground and when he looked at Amber again, the softness in his eyes were evident. “I never really mentioned it to people, especially to the public. I always felt like the first person outside of my family to know this should be you.”
The sincerity of his words along with the way he looked at Amber and the small smile playing on his lips was all it took to pierce at my heart. For the second time, since Julian came into my house, I felt like an intruder to the second chance the universe seemed to be giving the both of them. I hated Julian for breaking Amber’s heart once and ripped him out of her life to protect her.
Now here they were, in my own home and staring at each other with such intensity that I was waiting for them to lean in and kiss each other senseless the way they used to, as if the five years never happened. They say that when two people are meant to be together, they find their way back to each other. Maybe this was their homecoming.
But why did it feel like my nightmare come alive?
“Audrey!” Amber was the one who noticed me and moved away from Julian and wrapped her hands around mine, pulling me in their little bubble. “God, you have no idea what Julian has done or maybe you already do since you’ve been his assistant.”
“Actually,” Julian drawled, looking at me with that familiar Hudson smirk plastered on his face. “She doesn’t. I never told her and I didn’t make it as a part of her list. As I said, I’ve always done this on my own.”
Amber cooed. “You really did tell me first before anyone else knew.”
She looked so touch and I was so confused and had no clue what they were talking about. With Amber’s statement, Julian shifted to another foot, looking slightly uncomfortable and a little embarrassed. “Actually, I wanted to tell Audrey all about it today since I’m meant to move them in the later this afternoon. I meant to do it as a surprise.”
Something flashed in Amber’s eyes that I couldn’t quite understand what it meant but she bit her bottom lip and nodded at the two of us. “I see.”
I wasn’t sure if she meant the two words to sound cold but I felt the chill in them. I swallowed and nervously looked at Julian. I wasn’t sure why I even felt anxious in the first place but the look on Amber’s face bothered me and yet Julian didn’t even seem fazed with what he said. Instead, he was looking at me with soft eyes.
<
br /> I licked my bottom lip and tried to act cool and nonchalant despite the nervousness I felt at the growing tension between the three of us. “What are you talking about, Julian?”
For the first time since I met him, I wanted Julian to tease me or say something that would annoy me because right now would be the most acceptable moment for me to be annoyed by him. But instead, he took a step closer to me and reached to tuck a stray hair behind my ear and then had that silly endearing smile on his face again, the one that would make any heart melt. Even mine.
Especially mine.
“It wouldn’t be a surprise if I tell you now, would it?” Julian said, looking at me with his gray and blue eyes and making it seem like we were the only ones in the room when my best friend- who also happened to be his ex-girlfriend- was with us too. “So let’s get going because I don’t want them to wait anymore.”
17
Julian
Amber was literally glued to my side all day long. I had originally planned to pick up Audrey and bring her to the house that I finally bought. I wanted her to help me with the furniture before the family got there before dinner and this time, I actually took my car with me. I didn’t know that Amber would be at her house and she didn’t mention it when I called her.
So we took Audrey’s car- because mine could only carry two people- and Amber sat in the passenger seat while I was stuck in the back. When we arrived in the neighbourhood, Amber then pulled me to her and laced her arm with mine while Audrey trailed behind us.
I didn’t really mind talking to Amber because it was fun to catch up and she didn’t seem to harbour any kind of resentment towards me for what had happened between us. I wanted to apologize to her but I wanted to do it privately and I didn’t want Audrey to think that I did so because she was around.
“So how did you choose the family?” Amber asked in a low and quiet voice. Audrey still had no clue where we were going. About two weeks ago, she also didn’t have a clue why I suddenly needed a storage place when I technically did not even live in LA.
It took us a while to get to the southern part of Los Angeles. There was a homeless shelter located there that I’d talked to because I wanted to provide an actual home for a family. That was why I chose a neighbourhood not too far from the shelter and bought a bungalow house for the family I’d chosen to help this year.
“The kid found me,” I said quietly, glancing at Audrey who followed behind us. She wasn’t even looking at us since her head was down and she seemed to be watching her feet. “Sometimes I come to these parts just to walk around and observe the people, especially the ones without homes and there was this kid at the park. He was helping out in a food truck and then offered me food.”
Amber tilted her head to the side. “He offered you food?”
The corner of my mouth twitched into a small smile as I remembered the memory. “He thought I was homeless. A thirteen-year old kid who worked at a food truck during lunch time so he could get a free meal offered me half of his food. I started to visit him regularly after that.”
“I didn’t think you’d be touched that easily, Jules,” Amber teased, leaning close to me so that I could smell her mild perfume that tickled my nose. It wasn’t that the scent bothered me, it was more like I preferred the lighter and sweeter scent that Audrey wore.
“I found out that he had five younger siblings and his mother couldn’t really keep a job because the young ones needed someone to look after them,” I continued, ignoring Amber’s comment and her advances.
Amber was flirty by nature, that was something I’d realized the first time I met her and in a sense, I was the same too which was why we hit it off that time, had sex, and then officially dated right after. She knew who I was but I didn’t really know much about her except she was this gorgeous blonde with an amazingly sexy body that kept on flirting with me. A 19-year old hormonal male couldn’t really ask for much.
It was a brief relationship because I got tired of her eventually. She wanted to have the real deal when it came to having a relationship and all I could really offer was a good fuck. Sometimes she would force me to talk, stating that she wanted to learn more about me than I let on hence why she was aware of this project.
I guess I could say that I did develop some kind of friendship with Amber. It wasn’t the kind of friendship that provided intimacy between friends where one could be vulnerable to the other though because I always felt like Amber was forcing me to have that kind of relationship with her. She wanted me to have my walls down, even if hers was thickly cemented in layers.
Amber wanted to change me. She wanted to be the girl that turned the bad boy into a good guy. She didn’t achieve what she wanted.
I suddenly came to a stop when I saw two big moving trucks in front of the bungalow house. I had called Gold last night and told him that it was time to transfer the furniture. I couldn’t help but grin and I turned to Amber, grabbed her hand and pulled her along.
She may have wanted to change me but if there was anyone else in the world beside my family who knew how much I wanted to change a family’s life by providing them an actual home, it was her and to be honest, I was kind of happy that she was here to see this.
“He has a step-father who’s an asshole. Before I bought the house, I found out that the step-father cheated and left them alone and he’s been trying to figure out how to get food for his siblings without stealing,” I explained and then shrugged my shoulders, subtly peaking at Audrey who stared at the bungalow in confusion.
“What’s all this?” Audrey asked loudly, looking around the house and then at the moving truck. “You’re moving?”
Beside me, Amber laughed and approached her, finally letting go of my arm and then wrapping her arm around Audrey. “When I told you that Julian’s a good guy, I wasn’t kidding, Aud. When we dated, he told me that he had this dream of providing a house for the homeless and here we are now, five years later, ready to move in the furniture to actually make this a home for a homeless family.”
Audrey stood where she was and stared at Amber for a little while and I knew she was processing everything that Amber just said. I watched as she licked her lips and felt a shiver go through me as I witnessed the sight, remembering the way her lips felt against mine. Jesus, here I was again wanting to have her in that way knowing that I couldn’t.
And then her brown eyes turned to look at me, the curiosity clear in them. “I never knew you did these kinds of things.”
I shrugged, wanting to act casual but hoping that it impressed her. When I realized this morning that today was the day the family moved in, I wanted Audrey to help me out and witness it with me. I wanted to celebrate it with her and I wanted her to see me the way I really was, not the cocky musician who likes breaking women’s hearts and preferred one night stands.
Amber wanted to change me. I wanted to change myself for Audrey and I didn’t really know why.
“I never had it publicize. What’s the point of wanting to help when you simply want to receive compliments for doing so?” I said quietly and took a step closer to Audrey and motioned at the house. “What do you think?”
She tilted her head to the side and then scanned the area, opening the rooms one by one. “How many are they?”
“Six people. Five kids and their mother,” I answered as I watched Audrey look around. Amber was eyeing her too and I could see that she was wearily doing so, as if she expected her best friend to say something insulting to me.
Audrey nodded her head and then stopped back in front of me. “You provide them a house to live in. Rent-free, I’m assuming. What about their food? Does the mother even have a job? What are the ages of the kids?”
“Aud, the least you can do is actually commend him for helping a homeless family-,”
Amber didn’t get to finish her sentence because I knew she caught me smiling. I expected this reaction from Audrey. I didn’t want her to turn to me and clap her hands in awe at how charitable I was. I wanted her to
dissect my intentions and see if there were things that I missed out on. “I’ll provide them with food for a month because I’m using that month for the mother to find a job.”
“What about the younger kids? The ones who can’t look out for themselves? Their mom wouldn’t be able to leave them so how do you suggest that she work?”
I let out a deep breath and then walked closer to Audrey, placed my palms flat on her shoulders and then lowered them down until I held her hands. “The social worker and I have discussed everything when I told them my plan on giving the family an actual home to live in. There are jobs that the mother can do whilst being at home and watching her kids.”
“She’s going to be a blogger or vlogger?”
I couldn’t help but chuckle and shook my head. “No, Aud. There are other online jobs that she’s capable of and the youngest will start school soon anyway. It won’t be a hassle. I’ve thought of everything.”
Audrey was quiet for a moment and I waited for her to say something else but Amber cleared her throat and I quickly let go of Audrey’s hands and I wasn’t sure why I did so. Amber eyed us and then I could see the amusement dancing in them as she took my hand and pulled me outside, telling me that it was time to unload the truck.
For three hours, the three of us, along with the truck drivers, unloaded every furniture in the house and the two ladies argued about the arrangement but it was fun to watch. The two of them had very different taste but it was clear that Amber had a lot more idea with the matter than Audrey did. At around three in the afternoon, I started cooking dinner for the three of us and for the family. the family finally arrived at six.
Amber was all over the kids and they clung to her like moths drawn to the flame. Audrey, on the other hand, seemed to be talking in-depth with the mother and I was just in the background, watching everything unfold until it was time to go home. When we stepped out, Amber reached for my hand held it close, she rested her head on my shoulder as we walked back to Audrey’s car.