by R. M Garino
“You’ve only seen a small fraction of who and what Logan is.” She held up a warning finger to forestall his comment. “Underneath everything you think you know is a person who’s very complex with very specific needs. First of all, you have to understand that because you humiliated him in public, he’ll find a way to get around his oath, and he’ll make you pay for it. He can’t help it. It’s the way he’s made. He will not let it go. Secondly, he has two people in his life who he confides in: me and Arielle. You just took one of them away from him. Yes, I was close enough to hear your last condition to his vow. You need to retract that part. You don’t understand how much he needs her.”
Angus’ tolerance was beginning to wear thin. By the time she’d finished speaking, his patience with the matter was at an end. He uncrossed his arms and stepped into her personal space so there would be no misunderstandings. She lifted her chin, glowering as he moved.
“Thank you for the warning,” he said, straining to keep his tone civil. “I will keep an eye on him. Good evening to you.”
He walked away.
“What about Arielle?” Gwendolyn called after him.
Angus stopped. “Arielle is her own person. She makes her own choices. I do not make them for her. If she wishes to see him, she will see him. I will respect that. My condition affected him, not her. But, I will not let her suffer the same distress she did today. What your brother needs means nothing to me. There is no reason for her to have to feel that again.”
Gwendolyn moved around him so she was again in Angus’ line of sight, her sin’del aglow with a strange curiosity.
“How do you know what Arielle is feeling?”
“If he causes her distress,” Angus said, pushing the question aside, “I will know, and I will respond accordingly. Understand that your brother carries the honor of your entire House now. His responses affect every Fel’Mekrin.”
CHAPTER SEVENTY-SIX
Touch on the Neck
Gwen returned to the barracks via a long, circuitous route. She didn’t know how long she walked, but the smaller moon, Little Bear was rising in the east, following the larger, Clarusluna on its nightly tour of the heavens. As she opened the door to the barracks, she wasn’t sure whether or not she was saddened by her conversation with Angus. From one perspective, her brother would be devastated by the turn of events. She’d have to try to keep the details of the unity from him until after the trials were over. She wanted his head clear for what was to come. From the other perspective, however, she’d known how miserable Arielle had become with Logan, and by contrast, how joyous she now was.
It was not fair, Gwen thought.
She wanted them both to be happy. She should not have to choose between them.
Ba’ril was coming out of Logan’s quarters when she arrived. She greeted him with a distracted hello as she held the door open, but he shifted his scowl to her and pushed his way past. She watched him storm down the corridor. What had got into him?
“Please do not leave the door open, Gwen,” Logan said from inside the room. “He will be fine.”
Gwen spared one last frown at her friend and entered.
The complex of rooms was by far the most elaborate in the barracks, with high ceilings and ornate plasterwork. It was almost as nice as the suite Arielle had recently inherited. She suppressed a tug of envy as she studied the space.
Logan was at the desk, his back to the hearth and facing the door. He sat stiff and erect, his posture perfect, as always. He rose when she closed the door behind her, and enfolded her in an embrace. In private, he was rather affectionate.
“It is good to see you, little sister,” he said. “Please, sit.”
He held the chair for her, and moved back behind the desk once she was seated.
“I must have passed these doors every day since arriving at the Gates,” she said motioning behind her, “but I have never been in this particular room before.”
Logan gave a dismissive nod of agreement.
“Why was I never given the key?”
He raised his eyebrow in an arch. “I will be staying here once I return from the trials. There is no need for you to have the key.”
She smothered the resentment before it could rise. This was not the discussion she wanted to have with him. She wondered how to broach the real subject of her visit, but he moved straight to his own agenda.
“First,” he said, “Thomlin Kal’Parev.”
Gwen flinched. She knew her brother was direct, but she never knew him to be omniscient.
“What about him?” Gwen kept her tone neutral.
“Cut your ties to him,” Logan said. “It is unseemly, and beneath your station. Now, secondly—”
“Wait,” Gwen said. She knew how much he hated her doing that, but she couldn’t help herself. “What ties, and how is it unseemly and beneath me? Thomlin is Heir to his House.”
Logan gripped the table edge, his knuckles white.
“His ‘House’ can barely be called that. The daughter of Endeara and Lucien should not keep company with one such as he. I am sure you understand that I am only concerned for your future. We do not want recruits talking more than they already are.”
“Logan, I appreciate the concern, but if I want to associate with Thomlin, or anyone else for that matter, I will. If I want to take him to my bed, I will. Don’t overstep me on this. I do not have the patience for it.”
Logan snarled in silence.
“Don’t even . . .” Gwen said, resting her elbows on his desk. “I punch and bite as hard as you. But I’ll concede this much. I promise to remember and maintain all proper appearances. He is a part of my Pride now, so I cannot distance myself from him, or any of them without breaking my vow. Besides, I don’t think he cares for me very much. I have you to thank for that, by the way.”
“Good. At least my name still carries some weight,” Logan said, the irony thick in his voice. “I have not heard of this Thomlin having an ounce of sense in his head, but I might be mistaken after all.”
“So you will leave the matter be, then?” Gwen said, hoping the discussion would end.
Logan considered the request, and then acquiesced. “Just so long as it stays the way it is. If your chasing starts showing results, then I may have to have words with him.”
“I am not chasing him, Logan,” Gwen said. She crossed her arms and slouched back in the chair.
He gave her an unexpected smile. “I actually did see your performance during the Gauntlet while I was stationed in Alcoff,” he said. “The place is backwater, and their projection systems really are subpar. Nevertheless, I could not believe what I was seeing. The way you fought, even after taking such damage; the way you walked up to the Elc’atar . . . Gwen, that was inspired.”
“That was not my plan.”
“It does not matter,” he said. “It was you who executed it. It was you who walked up to the Elc’atar and demanded to know who spoke for them. It’s your face everyone will remember in command, and as the face of your squad.”
“Pride,” Gwen said.
“Excuse me?” His smile dropped at being corrected.
“The face of my Pride,” she said. “We cannot really be considered a squad now, we all passed the A’gist
“There were fourteen in the Gauntlet.”
“Ti’vol is missing,” Gwen said. “She was not accepted by the lo’el, and we haven’t seen her since. We’ve spent months searching for her, for any clue as to where she went. No one has any answers. She’s just . . . gone.”
“What do you mean, she’s ‘just gone?’” he said. “Elaborate.”
Gwen shrugged and shook her head. “She disappeared on the trail after failing the A’gist. Her tracks, and even her clairvoyant trace just vanish.”
“Clairvoyants have examined the scene and found nothing?”
“Nothing,” she said. “They claim that the area’s been erased.”
“How deep of an erasure?” he asked, leaning forward. “How
far back in time does it go?”
“All the way apparently. They said it was as if nothing ever happened at that spot.”
Logan sat back, rubbing his chin.
“I have seen this in the outlying districts during my tour,” he said at length. “People have been mysteriously disappearing. The northern villages were especially afflicted by it. In the town of Hyannis alone we were approached by three separate sets of parents looking for missing children. In each case, the last place they were seen had been completely cleansed.”
“What did the Elc’atar say?”
“That it was not our concern,” he said, a far off look in his eyes. “We were told that this was a thing beyond us.”
“Don’t tell me you accepted that.”
He smiled and refocused on her face. “Of course not. I did learn a few things.”
“Such as?”
“Nothing that can be acted on tonight,” he said. “I will detail my findings in a letter and present it to Trenton before my trials. He may be able to act where I could not. For now, however, you must set her aside.”
“But we’ve sworn,” she said. “It is not that easy to just let go. She’s of my Pride, and I won’t stop until I find her.”
“When I return, I promise you that I will help with the investigation. You know I am nothing if not thorough.”
The last appeased her, for the moment, and she let the matter lie.
“It is good to see you, Gwen. It has been a difficult year.”
“Are you ready for the trials?” she said, relieved to be on safer ground, and genuinely concerned about the answer.
The way he dipped his head, with his brow furrowed and his eyes unfocused, told her all she needed to know. She stood and walked around the desk, lounging against it, then took his hand in hers, and waited for him to acknowledge her. She focused her thoughts, concentrating on how he appeared in combat, flowing between the forms, untouched by his enemies. He seized as the visions took him. His breathing stilled, and his face settled. He lifted her hand and kissed it when he regained awareness.
“Thank you, Gwen,” he said. She drew away, lest she allow her control to slip and reveal what she did not want him to see.
“You have nothing to worry about,” she said. “You are a god here. You’re everything the Areth’kon strives to be. No one is even willing to place bets on your performance in the Sur. It’s considered a sure thing that you will come out.”
“It is,” Logan said, his tone far away as he sat back in his chair.
“See. I knew you would agree.”
“No,” he said. “It is, not ‘it’s.’ How will your people respect you if you speak like a commoner? Remember, you will perform the way that you practice.”
She pushed herself off of the desk. “We’ve been over this before. I’ll speak however I want to. If the scrubs don’t like it, then too bad for them. I will not remake myself in someone else’s image.”
“And that is part of your charm,” Logan said. He rested his elbows against the tabletop as he spoke.
She knew it was more than just the trials that concerned him. She didn’t think he would care too much for the next part of the conversation, and it was always best to be careful.
“Your conversation with Arielle did not go as you planned,” she said. She folded her arms before her, shifting her weight to one foot.
“No it did not,” he said. He examined his nails. “She did not want to speak to me. She had her pup between us, and she co-opted Dusk – seven hells she turned the entire A’gist against me.”
Gwen started. It was not like him to curse. That he did so now gave her a clue as to his emotional state. He was troubled by the event, and having difficulty reconciling it with what he knew. “There have been many strange things like that going on,” she said. “Arielle has changed. A lot. Some of the abilities she has manifested are just downright scary. Others I don’t understand.”
“Oh, I understand what has changed,” Logan said. His tone was indifferent, as if he could not bring himself to care too deeply about the matter. He slid a green crystal across the table toward her.
“My conversation with Ba’ril,” he said, pointing to the gem. “He was most forthcoming with regards to Arielle’s actions since arriving at the Gates. I would not say he was pleased with me for retrieving it, but I needed to know how things actually stand.”
“Is that why he walked out of here the way he did? What, did you grab him the moment he walked in? Or did you at least make small talk first?”
“He took my hand on entering,” Logan said. “There was a good deal of information to process, and I am afraid it took a fair amount of time to do so. He tried to break contact, but I was able to hold on.”
Gwen was shaking her head. “Logan, he idolizes you. When are you going to learn how to treat people? Ba’ril is your cousin. He is a good soldier, and will be a strong ally when he completes his training. You cannot afford to alienate him.”
Logan waved her concern away. “Ba’ril will be fine. The information he gave me is invaluable, and confirmed much of the intelligence I had previously gleaned. Angus Kal’Parev has become a fixture in her life, and has been so since she first arrived. There are gaps Ba’ril could not fill - things he did not understand or did not want to understand - but I will see what I can discover. The situation is not hopeless, although Ba’ril thinks it is.”
“I’m not so sure,” Gwen said. She hated herself for saying so. The last thing she wanted was to dash his hopes, but she could not allow him to chase shadows, either.
“What do you know?” he said, his posture correct once more.
Gwen watched him for the span of a heartbeat as she decided. In the end, the decision was not too difficult to make.
“Their parents met during Conclave,” she said. “They spent a great deal of time together. Arielle and Angus were both in attendance, but she never told me what they discussed. All she said was that she was going to live her life the way she chose, not the way her parents dictated.”
Logan was frowning as he processed the information. He cast off whatever conclusions he had reached.
“That makes no sense,” he said. “If their parents were meeting that way, then it is safe to assume they were trying to arrange a marriage. If that is the case, I will be more than a little annoyed with Dugal. He had led me to believe that mine was the suit he favored. But regardless, if she was opposed to the union, then why would she be spending every free moment, and those she can steal, in his company?”
“No one is trying to put Arielle and Angus together,” Gwen said, she pushed herself from the chair and walked to the hearth.
A touch on the back of her neck made her spin around. Logan was standing behind her, his sin’del beginning to swirl with outrage. Gwen grabbed his arm.
“A unity?” Logan said, his voice thick with outrage. “He bonded himself to her?”
Gwen was shaking her head, anxious for him to calm down and listen to her.
“Logan, there are things going on that I do not understand,” she said. “Do not jump to conclusions.”
“But that would explain why their parents are trying to force a marriage on them. They want their children to be respectable. They want to avoid a scandal!”
Gwen pulled him closer. “We. Do. Not. Know. That,” she said, enunciating each word so as to be clear in her meaning.
Logan twisted his wrist free from her grasp. He paced back to his desk. He did not sit, but stood directing his ire at the floor.
“That’s what Ba’ril was hiding from himself, what he has been refusing to see!”
“Logan, you do not know that,” she said, desperate now. “I have no evidence—”
“Have they been intimate?”
The question startled her, and she answered before she thought it through.
“Well, yes, I believe so, but—” She caught herself before she could say more, and clenched her fists at her side.
“Then B
a’ril was right,” Logan said, lowering his head. “The situation is hopeless. There is nothing left for me.”
Gwen ran her hand through his hair to sooth him.
He moved his head and pressed his cheek against her wrist before she could pull away. With his skin touching hers, she could feel the pull as his clairvoyant abilities drew her impressions from her. His despair faded. At last, he let go and pulled her into an embrace.
“I would never do that to you, Gwen,” he said, echoing the distress she had felt at his last words. “I will fight my way through the Sur, and I will return. My hope may be gone, but I am not a child. I will not seek death because I have been spurned in love.”
She returned his hug, grateful for his promise.
“Did you really punch Kal’Parev in the face?”
She nodded against his chest.
“Of course I did,” she said. “What did you expect me to do? He humiliated my brother. There was no way I was going to let that go unpunished, even if we are the same Pride.”
“That is transitory,” Logan said, “despite your impressive showing in the Gauntlet.”
Gwen did not respond, but rather stepped back to keep her thoughts on the matter to herself. She’d no intention of forsaking the vows she’d made, even if she was angry with Angus at the moment.
“What are you going to do?” she said.
“I do not know. I have given Arielle’s obstinacy a great deal of thought this past year. It would appear that my plans have been for naught.”
“You have to know that she didn’t do this to you on purpose.”
He stared at her, blinking his way to understanding.
His visage shifted into a tight sneer.
“Of course she did not,” he said. “That would be preposterous.”
“It just happened on its own,” Gwen said. The glimmer in his eye gave her pause.
“Ah,” he said. “A spontaneous unity. I should have realized. It is so obvious.”
“Logan, stop,” she said.
“Stop what? I have done nothing. If anything, I am a victim here. And so is Arielle, by the way.”