by John Goode
“Yeah, he has issues,” Josh agreed, opening a beer. “So what’s going on with Kyle?”
“You said this was a no-Kyle zone,” I protested.
“Yeah, back on First Street; this is a completely different zone.”
That made me laugh despite being upset.
We parked at one of the campsites and got out. Then, leaning against the hood of his car, we watched the sun reflect off the lake as we drank. For a second we were both back in high school, nothing more pressing than the next game and who we thought liked us or not. No moving across country, no college, no trying to earn a living. Just two guys drinking beer by the lake.
And then he had to talk.
“So, Kyle?” he asked.
“It’s over, man,” I said, sighing.
“So you don’t love him anymore?”
I turned around. “What the fuck? Are you all reading off a script or something?”
He looked away, and I realized I was right.
“Did he put you up to this?” I asked, almost throwing the beer at him.
“Who? Kyle? No, man, but Jennifer said they all got together and had a talk and thought you guys were being stupid.”
Awesome—it was, in fact, a conspiracy.
“He kicked me out!” I raged at Josh. “He thought I had slept with a guy and kicked me out.”
“Um… didn’t you think you slept with that guy too?”
“Shut up,” I said, ignoring him. “He kicked me out and left me to rot in California. You think getting back together with him is a good idea?”
Not even a pause. “Yes, I do.”
“If you like him so much, you go out with him,” I said, finishing my beer and tossing it in the lake.
“I would, but he is in love with you. And if I did, you’d kick my ass because you’re in love with him.”
“I can’t trust him, Josh.”
“No, you’re afraid to trust him. Big difference.”
He walked around to the trunk and pulled another couple of beers out. “Nothing wrong with being afraid, man. Letting that fear ruin your life? That’s some bullshit.”
I took the beer and tore the top off. “When did you become Yoda?”
He gave me a shit-eating grin and said, “Look, man. I’ve gotten laid more times than any three people I know. I have had guys, girls, parents—hell, I think a dog came onto me one time—so when it comes to matters of the heart, I am wise beyond my years. And what you and Kyle have… dude, that’s rare. So yeah, he fucked up. And? You really going to throw in the towel on one play?”
“This isn’t the first time,” I protested.
“So you’ve been keeping score?” I looked away. “See? Come on, dude. You know what your problem is? You went out there and you found out that you had zero life skills. Kyle was going off and being all Joe College and you were, what?”
“Personal trainer,” I mumbled.
“You were the guy telling fat people how to exercise, and it scared you. And the second the security blanket was torn off, you freaked and realized you had nothing left but to come home and be a bum. The one thing we all feared the most growing up. That’s not on Kyle, man, that’s on you. You were the one who just hitched a ride on his star without a plan. You have tons of talent, man, and you’re wasting it as a personal trainer?”
“Really, Josh? What talent am I wasting? My mad baseball skills? Last time I checked, those don’t pay the bills.”
“No, not playing baseball, but I bet you would make a fucking awesome coach.”
I froze.
“Hell, man, you coached me that last season and got me into A&M. We wouldn’t have made it to State without you.”
“That was Coach Gunn,” I protested.
“That was Coach Gunn and you, dumbass.”
I sat there drinking my beer and thinking about it. Coaching? Why hadn’t I thought of that before?
“So, yeah, this is less about Kyle and more about you being scared. So get over it already.”
“Shut up and drink your beer,” I said, grumbling, but he saw the smile on my face. He was right, I needed a direction. A real one.
Kyle
I CALLED the hospital and there was no change with my mom, so I went….
Wow, I was going to say “home,” but that wasn’t true, is it? I went to my mom’s house to get a shower and a change of clothes. I was mentally exhausted, and some downtime would do me good. When I walked in, the whole place looked like it was a museum replica of the apartment I had lived in growing up. Everything looked the same, but something felt off, like someone had built a replacement Kyle’s Home to specs; but no matter how well the builder tried, whatever had made the apartment my home was gone.
I felt like an imposter in my own life.
If I’d thought the living room was bad, my room was worse. Everything was pretty much the same—my bed, my dresser, the clippings on the walls, it was exactly the same, yet it looked completely wrong to me. I sat on the edge of my bed and looked around, wondering how I had ever lived here. It was so small, so cramped; the things around me seemed so… useless? No, that’s not it. Juvenile, that’s better. I mean, there were pictures of bands I could care less about now. Now I have school and rent and a life; what the fuck did I care about music? Pictures of actors who starred in movies I used to watch all the time stared at me from my walls, and I realized I hadn’t watched those movies since I moved.
I guess you can go home again, but it won’t ever feel like home.
Taking a shower was even worse. I felt like a stranger breaking into someone’s house and then getting naked. I mean, between you and me, I had spent hours jerking off in this shower. This shower and I were close, like biblically close, and now I felt like keeping my underwear on as I showered in case someone walked in on me.
My instincts were right, though. I badly needed a shower and a second to take a breath. By the time I got out, I felt like I had run a marathon and just collapsed on the couch in a pair of boxer briefs and nothing else. I wanted to sleep forever. No, scratch that—forever and a day, please.
I should have ordered a pizza, but that would require me moving, and that shit wasn’t happening any time soon. Instead I imagined eating pizza and tried to relax.
I must have dozed off, because someone knocking startled me both awake and into a half scream. I was pretty sure I had actually broken into someone’s house and was about to get caught in my underwear.
I was in my underwear. Fuck!
“Hold on!” I called as I ran into my room and pulled on a pair of jeans. Thankfully my hoodie was close by and I slipped that over my head before I ran to the door. I opened it and saw Jennifer’s dad standing there.
“Did I wake you?” he asked with a smile.
“Um, no, why?” I asked, trying to play it cool.
“Because you look like you stuck your finger in a light socket,” he said, pointing to my hair.
Fuck, I fell asleep with wet hair.
“I might have closed my eyes,” I said, retreating to the bathroom. “Come in.”
“How’re you holding up?” he called from the living room while I threw copious amounts of water on my hair.
“Better—I mean, waiting for her to wake up, but at least she got the operation.”
“I heard Dolores Mathison paid you a visit.”
“Yeah, she came by.” I finished patting my hair down to a tolerable disaster. “You know her?” I asked, coming out of the bathroom.
He chuckled. “Son, everyone knows her one way or another. Mind if I ask what she wanted?”
Worry started to creep into my mind. Well, not worry exactly. Something more like… concern.
“I guess someone told her about what was going on, and she came by to see if she could fix things,” I explained.
“Fix things?” he asked, his brow furrowing.
Now concern was upgraded to worry.
“She was going to tell Mr. Childs to do the surgery on my mom no matter wh
at Billy said.”
Sheriff Taylor looked shocked. “She said that?” I nodded. “Well then, that’s new.”
“I don’t get it. Why does everyone act like she’s one bucket of water away from melting?”
That made him smile. “Because the Mathisons don’t get involved in the problems of lesser folk.” The way he said “lesser” made it pretty clear he was not a fan. “That all she said?”
My mind clamped a hand over my mouth before I could tell him about the offer to pay the medical bills. “She might not be all that bad,” I suggested.
“You ever hear the saying ‘a leopard can’t change its spots’?” I nodded. “Well, Dolores is incapable of getting rid of the fin on her back. Once a shark, always a shark in my book.”
That didn’t sound like the nice old lady I’d met earlier.
“Well, she seemed cool to me.”
“Okay, well, that’s not why I stopped by. I wanted to know if you were going to press charges against your dad.”
My stomach did a barrel roll at the thought of Billy.
“Isn’t there enough for him to be put in jail without me?” I asked hopefully.
Taylor nodded. “He was on parole and carrying a loaded gun that he doesn’t have a permit for. That is more than enough to send him away for a couple of years. I’m just making sure you don’t want to have your say.”
“I’m good,” I said truthfully.
“That’s something of a habit, isn’t it?” he asked, and I looked at him, confused. “First Jeremy and now your dad. You know, Kyle, sooner or later you have to hold people accountable for their actions.”
“I do! Jeremy was sick and my dad is already going to jail. One didn’t deserve jail, and the other is well on his way without my help.”
He held his hands up in surrender. “Okay, just saying.” He took a step toward the door and paused. “Say, what’s going on with you and the Graymark boy?”
I cocked my head at him. “Did Jennifer tell you to ask that?”
He gave me a small smile. “Guilty. Can we just say I asked and be done with it?”
“Deal,” I agreed.
“You’re a good kid, Kyle. I don’t know if people tell you that enough, but you are.”
I was kind of speechless. “Thank you.”
He tipped an imaginary hat to me. “Just keeping it real.” He walked out, and I watched him get in his squad car and drive off.
I needed food, and then I needed to call Robbie.
Sheriff Taylor had me terrified of Dolores Mathison.
Brad
JOSH DROPPED me off at Nancy’s. I was kind of buzzed.
Hanging out with someone from my old life had been great, and that car… but Josh had brought up some good points about what was going on. I had gone out to California with no plan and that had bitten me on the ass. I walked into the diner, hoping Gayle was already off shift so I could actually order something without getting hit in the head. I needed something in my stomach to sober me up before I went home.
I was floored to see Coach Gunn sitting in a booth reading a newspaper.
For half a second I felt like turning around and running away before he saw me buzzed. Then I remembered I was no longer in high school and could get as drunk as I wanted. I still popped a breath mint in my mouth before heading over there.
“Hey, Coach,” I said, trying to sound as sober as I could.
He glanced up. “Graymark? When did you get into town?”
Oh thank God, someone who hadn’t been given the “Get back together with Kyle” speech.
I sat down across from him. “This weekend. It’s a long story.”
“Kyle’s mom?” he asked, and I paused.
“Oh, you know about that?”
He nodded and folded the paper up. “Gayle and I went by…. It didn’t go well.”
“What happened?” I asked, unsure if I had ever heard of drama in direct connection with Gayle.
“She knew the guy—Kyle’s dad?” I nodded. “She tore him a new one and then spent the rest of the weekend calling in favors. Never seen her so pissed at someone before.”
“Favors from who?” I asked, intrigued as fuck.
“From friends,” Gayle said, no longer dressed in an apron and carrying her order book. She gave me a look. “Have you made up with Kyle yet?”
“Oh come on, Gayle! I’m hungry.”
“And? Feed your heart and your mouth will follow.” She looked over her shoulder. “Carlos, do not serve this one. He knows why.”
“You’re serious?” I asked with my mouth open in shock.
“Honey, I am always serious.” She looked at Coach Gunn. “You ready?”
He paused, staring across at me and then back to her. “Stop meddling.”
If he had slammed his foot down on hers, he wouldn’t have gotten a bigger reaction from her. “What?”
“You heard me. Stop meddling. What you did for the boy was admirable—he was in a tight spot and you helped— but this is crossing a line. If they aren’t going to get back together, you can’t make them.”
“They’re supposed to be together.”
Coach Gunn nodded. “Yeah, and the Cowboys should be a number-one team, but what you’re supposed to be and what you are rarely ever meet.” He glanced at me. “I don’t know what is going on between you two and I’m going to be honest, I don’t want to know. But if you’re going to get back together with him, it should be because you want to and not because some nosy woman withholds food.”
“Are you done?” she asked, her voice sounding like she was clearly not enjoying the conversation.
“Almost,” he said curtly. In full Coach Gunn mode, he turned back to me and stared straight into my eyes. “You were ready to run into the school even though you knew someone had a loaded gun just to protect that boy, so I know the reason you aren’t with him isn’t lack of courage. But if it’s from lack of conviction or it’s just too hard, well, then she”—nodding at Gayle—“is right. You should talk to him because later on in life, you’ll regret not doing that until the day you die.”
He looked over at her. “Now I’m done.” He got up and tucked the paper under his arm. “I trust you to do the right thing, Brad.”
Suddenly, I was no longer sure what I felt.
“Nosy?” she asked him as they walked out.
“Stifle it… you look up ‘gossip’ in the dictionary, there is a signed eight-by-ten glossy photo of you.”
She slapped his arm and laughed as they walked out. While I watched them stroll down First Street together, out of nowhere all I could feel was missing Kyle something fierce. Was I making a huge mistake?
Kyle
THE NEXT morning I called Robbie and asked if he had time for breakfast before he and Sebastian flew back home. He agreed to meet me at Nancy’s, which was fine with me. I tossed on some clothes and tried to banish the fact that I had slept in my old bed in my old room and had opened my eyes to the thought that I had to go to Foster High. Then reality hit. I got dressed and took off.
They were sitting down by the time I got there; Sebastian was at the counter while Robbie waited in a booth for me. “Why’s he over there?” I asked, sitting down.
“You sounded like you just wanted to talk to me, so he’s ordering food.”
“Oh, well, not really, but maybe.” He gave me a look and I took a deep breath. “So, Riley’s mom came to the hospital to talk to me.”
“Of course she did. You know she owns the hospital, right?” I nodded. “So what did she say?”
“She was actually really nice,” I said, waiting for him to explode.
“Yes, and a house made of candy might seem kid friendly, but the truth is something completely different,” he quipped while stirring his coffee.
“She offered to pay for my mom’s hospital bills,” I blurted out.
He kept stirring but his gaze locked with mine. “In exchange for?”
“Nothing,” I answered quickly. “She jus
t wanted me to go back to school and not worry about my mom.”
“You can’t take it,” he said after a few seconds.
“Why?” I almost whined. “After what I gave to Troy, I don’t think I have enough to cover her bills.”
“Taking money from her is a bad idea.”
“Easy to say when you have money,” I muttered. “She said she considered me like the grandson you and Riley never had. Maybe she has changed.”
“Uh-huh, and maybe she’s trying to make a coat out of shaggy-headed teenagers and you’re the first.”
We were getting nowhere, and I had nothing to add that wouldn’t just start a fight.
After a few seconds he asked, “How did she even know who you were?”
I shrugged. “She said a friend told her about what was going on. She was there to tell them to operate on my mom no matter what Billy said.”
“And she couldn’t do that over the phone?” he asked. I had seen Robbie upset before, but this was a whole new level.
“I don’t know,” I admitted. “I don’t even know if I’m going to bother, anyway.”
“Bother what?”
“Bother going back to California, at least not without Brad.”
“You have to go back to school,” he snapped instantly.
“I don’t have to do anything except get the man I’m supposed to share my life with back.”
“You can’t give up your future for one person. I mean, honestly, Kyle, who gave you that idiotic idea?”
I pointed at Sebastian. “He did.”
Sebastian looked over at us and smiled. Robbie’s eyes narrowed in anger, and all he got was a goofy wave back.
“Did you tell him not to go back to school?” Robbie called out across the diner.
“Um, no,” he answered, confused.
“You said I should do what Brad would do,” I called back.
“He’d pass up going to college for you?” he asked. I nodded. “Oh, well then, yeah. I guess I did say that.”
“Sebastian!” Robbie almost screamed.
He stood and walked over to the table. “No. No siree, Bob. You,” he pointed at Robbie, “sent me across the country to get this kid so they can be together. You don’t get to come back now and say there is a limit on crazy. If he doesn’t want to go back to school”—he looked at me and added—“which is a terrible idea, just saying”—and then back at Robbie—“then he doesn’t have to go back to school. You’re the one who piled this whole set of events up. You get to just sit there and watch it play out now.”