Magic, Inc

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Magic, Inc Page 10

by Robert A. Heinlein


  But, Granny, I'll be needed in the Half-'

  No, Jack.' She was gently firm. You are needed here much more. Someone has to guard the way and help us back, you know. Each to his task.'

  He muttered a bit, but gave in. She went on, I think that is all. Ellen and Jack here; Joseph, Royce, and myself to make the trip. You will have nothing to do but wait, Archibald, but we won't be longer than ten minutes, world time, if we are to come back.' She bustled away towards the kitchen, saying something about the unguent and calling back to Jack to have the candles ready. I hurried after her.

  'What do you mean, I demanded, about me having nothing to do but wait? I'm going along!'

  She turned and looked at me before replying, troubled concern in her magnificent eyes. I don't see how that can be, Archibald.'

  Jedson had followed us and now took me by the arm. See here, Archie, do be sensible. It's utterly out of the question. You're not a magician.'

  I pulled away from him. Neither are you.'

  Not in a technical sense, perhaps, but I know enough to be useful. Don't be a stubborn fool, man; if you come, you'll simply handicap us.'

  That kind of an argument is hard to answer and manifestly unfair. How?' I persisted.

  Hell's bells, Archie, you're young and strong and willing, and there is no one I would rather have at my back in a roughhouse, but this is not a job for courage, or even intelligence alone. It calls for special knowledge and experience.'

  Well,' I answered, Mrs Jennings has enough of that for a regiment. But - if you'll pardon me, Mrs Jennings! - she is old and feeble. I'll be her muscles if her strength fails.'

  Joe looked faintly amused, and I could have kicked him. But that is not what is required in-'

  Dr Worthington's double-bass rumble interrupted him from somewhere behind us. It occurs to me, brother, that there may possibly be a use for our young friend's impetuous ignorance. There are times when wisdom is too cautious.'

  Mrs Jennings put a stop to it. Wait - all of you,' she commanded, and trotted over to a kitchen cupboard. This she opened, moved aside a package of rolled oats, and took down a small leather sack. It was filled with slender sticks.

  She cast them on the floor, and the three of them huddled around the litter, studying the patterns. Cast them again,' Joe insisted. She did so.

  I saw Mrs Jennings and the doctor nod solemn agreement to each other. Jedson shrugged and turned away. Mrs Jennings addressed me, concern in her eyes. You will go,' she said softly. It is not safe, but you will go.'

  We wasted no more time. The unguent was heated and we took turns rubbing it on each other's backbone. Bodie, as gatekeeper, sat in the midst of his pentacles, mekagrans, and runes, and intoned monotonously from the great book. Worthington elected to go in his proper person, ebony in a breechcloth, parasymbols scribed on him from head to toe, his grandfather's head cradled in an elbow.

  There was some discussion before they could decide on a final form for Joe, and the metamorphosis was checked and changed several times. He finished up with paper-thin grey flesh stretched over an obscenely distorted skull, a sloping back, the thin flanks of an animal, and a long, boy tail, which he twitched incessantly. But the whole composition was near enough to human to create a revulsion much greater than would be the case for a more outlandish shape. I gagged at the sight of him, but he was pleased. There!' he exclaimed in a voice like scratched tin. You've done a beautiful job, Mrs Jennings. Asmodeus would not know me from his own nephew.'

  I trust not,' she said. Shall we go?'

  How about Archie?'

  It suits me to leave him as he is.'

  Then how about your own transformation?'

  I'll take care of that,' she answered, somewhat tartly. Take your places.'

  Mrs Jennings and I rode double on the same broom, with me in front, facing the candle stuck in the straws. I've noticed All Hallow's Eve decorations which show the broom with the handle forward and the brush trailing. That is a mistake. Custom is important in these matters. Royce and Joe were to follow close behind us. Seraphin leaped quickly to his mistress' shoulder and settled himself, his whiskers quivering with eagerness.

  Bodie pronounced the word, our candle flared up high, and we were off. I was frightened nearly to panic, but tried not to show it as I clung to the broom. The fireplace gaped at us, and swelled to a monster arch. The fire within roared up like a burning forest and swept us along with it. As we swirled up I caught a glimpse of a salamander dancing among the flames, and felt sure that it was my own - the one that had honoured me with its approval and sometimes graced my new fireplace. It seemed a good omen.

  We had left the portal far behind - if the word behind' can be used in a place where directions are symbolic - the shrieking din of the fire was no longer with us, and I was beginning to regain some part of my nerve. I felt a reassuring hand at my waist, and turned my head to speak to Mrs Jennings.

  I nearly fell off the broom.

  When we left the house there had mounted behind me an old, old woman, a shrunken, wizened body kept alive by an indomitable spirit. She whom I now saw was a young woman, strong, perfect, and vibrantly beautiful. There is no way to describe her; she was without defect of any sort, and imagination could suggest no improvement.

  Have you ever seen the bronze Diana of the Woods? She was something like that, except that metal cannot catch the live dynamic beauty that I saw.

  But it was the same woman!

  Mrs Jennings - Amanda Todd, that was - at perhaps her twenty-fifth year, when she had reached the full maturity of her gorgeous womanhood, and before time had softened the focus of perfection.

  I forgot to be afraid. I forgot everything except that I was in the presence of the most compelling and dynamic female had ever known. I forgot that she was at least sixty years older than myself, and that her present form was simply a triumph of sorcery. I suppose if anyone had asked me at that time if I were in love with Amanda Jennings, I would have answered, Yes!' But at the time my thoughts were much too confused to be explicit. She was there, and that was sufficient.

  She smiled, and her eyes were warm with understanding. She spoke, and her voice was the voice I knew, even though it was rich contralto in place of the accustomed clear, thin soprano. Is everything all right, Archie?'

  Yes,' I answered in a shaky voice. Yes, Amanda, everything is all right!'

  As for the Half World- How can I describe a place that has no single matching criterion with what I have known? How can I speak of things for which no words have been invented? One tells of things unknown in terms of things which are known. Here there is no relationship by which to link; all is irrelevant. All I can hope to do is tell how matters affected my human senses, how events influenced my human emotions, knowing that there are two falsehoods involved - the falsehood I saw and felt, and the falsehood that I tell.

  I have discussed this matter with Jedson, and he agrees with me that the difficulty is insuperable, yet some things may be said with a partial element of truth - truth of a sort, with respect to how the Half World impinged on me.

  There is one striking difference between the real world and the Half World. In the real world there are natural laws which persist through changes of custom and culture; in the Half World only custom has any degree of persistence, and of natural law there is none. Imagine, if you please, a condition in which the head of a state might repeal the law of gravitation and have his decree really effective - a place where King Canute could order back the sea and have the waves obey him. A place where up' and down' were matters of opinion, and directions might read as readily in days or colours as in miles. And yet it was not a meaningless anarchy, for they were constrained to obey their customs as unavoidably as we comply with the rules of natural phenomena.

  We made a sharp turn to the left in the formless greyness that surrounded us in order to survey the years for a sabbat meeting. It was Amanda's intention to face the Old One with the matter directly rather than to search aimlessly thr
ough ever changing mazes of the Half World for a being hard to identify at best.

  Royce picked Out the sabbat, though I could see nothing until we let the ground come up to meet us and proceeded on foot. Then there was light and form. Ahead of us, perhaps a quarter of a mile away, was an eminence surmounted by a great throne which glowed red through the murky air. I could not make out clearly the thing seated there, but I knew it was himself' - our ancient enemy.

  We were no longer alone. Life - sentient, evil undeadness - boiled around us and fogged the air and crept out of the ground. The ground itself twitched and pulsated as we walked over it. Faceless things sniffed and nibbled at our heels. We were aware of unseen presences about us in the fog-shot gloom: beings that squeaked, grunted, and sniggered; voices that were slobbering whimpers, that sucked and retched and bleated.

  They seemed vaguely disturbed by our presence - Heaven knows that I was terrified by them! - for I could hear them flopping and shuffling out of our path, then closing cautiously in behind, as they bleated warnings to one another.

  A shape floundered into our path and stopped, a shape with a great bloated head and moist, limber arms. Back!' it wheezed. Go back! Candidates for witchhood apply on the lower level.' It did not speak English, but the words were clear.

  Royce smashed it in the face and we stamped over it, its chalky bones crunching underfoot. It pulled itself together again, whining its submission, then scurried out in front of us and thereafter gave us escort right up to the great throne.

  That's the only way to treat these beings,' Joe whispered in my ear. Kick em in the teeth first, and they'll respect you.' There was a clearing before the throne which was crowded with black witches, black magicians, demons in every foul guise, and lesser unclean things. On the left side the cauldron boiled. On the right some of the company were partaking of the witches' feast. I turned my head away from that. Directly before the throne, as custom calls for, the witches' dance was being performed for the amusement of the Goat. Some dozens of men and women, young and old, comely and hideous, cavorted and leaped in impossible acrobatic adagio.

  The dance ceased and they gave way uncertainly before us as we pressed up to the throne. What's this? What's this?' came a husky, phlegm-filled voice. It's my little sweetheart! Come up and sit beside me, my sweet! Have you come at last to sign my compact?'

  Jedson grasped my arm; I checked my tongue.

  I'll stay where I am,' answered Amanda in a voice crisp with contempt. As for your compact, you know better.'

  Then why are you here? And why such odd companions.' He looked down at us from the vantage of his throne, slapped hairy thigh and laughed immoderately. Royce stirred and muttered; his grandfather's head chattered in wrath. Seraphhi spat.

  Jedson and Amanda put their heads together for a moment, then she answered, By the treaty with Adam, I claim the right to examine.

  He chuckled, and the little devils around him covered their ears. You claim privileges here? With no compact?'

  Your customs,' she answered sharply.

  Ah yes, the customs! Since you invoke them, so let it be. And whom would you examine?'

  I do not know his name. He is one of your demons who has taken improper liberties outside your sphere.'

  One of my demons, and you know not his name? I have seven million demons, my pretty. Will you examine them one by one, or all together?' His sarcasm was almost the match of her contempt.

  All together.'

  Never let it be said that I would not oblige a guest. If you will go forward - let me see - exactly five months and three days, you will find my gentlemen drawn up for inspection.'

  I do not recollect how we got there. There was a great, brown plain, and no sky. Drawn up in military order for review by their evil lord were all the fiends of the Half World, legion on legion, wave after wave. The Old One was attended by his cabinet; Jedson pointed them out to me - Lucifugй, the prime minister; Sataniacha, field marshal; Beelzebub and Leviathan, wing commanders; Ashtoreth, Abaddon, Mammon, Theutus, Asmodeus, and Incubus, the Fallen Thrones. The seventy princes each commanded a division, and each remained with his command, leaving only the dukes and the thrones to attend their lord, Satan Mekratrig.

  He himself still appeared as the Goat, but his staff took every detestable shape they fancied. Asmodeus sported three heads, each evil and each different, rising out of the hind quarters of a swollen dragon. Mammon resembled, very roughly, a particularly repulsive tarantula. Ashtoreth I cannot describe at all. Only the Incubus affected a semblance of human form, as the only vessel adequate to display his lecherousness.

  The Goat glanced our way. Be quick about it,' he demanded. We are not here for your amusement.'

  Amanda ignored him, but led us towards the leading squadron. Come back!' he bellowed. And indeed we were back; our steps had led us no place. You ignore the custom. Hostages first!'

  Amanda bit her lip. Admitted,' she retorted, and consulted briefly with Royce and Jedson. I caught Royce's answer to some argument.

  Since I am to go,' he said, it is best that I choose my companion, for reasons that are sufficient to me. My grandfather advises me to take the youngest. That one, of course, is Fraser.'

  What's this?' I said when my name was mentioned. I had been rather pointedly left out of all the discussions, but this was surely my business.

  Royce wants you to go with him to smell out Ditworth,' explained Jedson.

  And leave Amanda here with these fiends? I don't like it.'

  I can look out for myself, Archie,' she said quietly. If Dr Worthington wants you, you can help me most by going with him.'

  What is this hostage stuff?'

  Having demanded the right of examination,' she explained, you must bring back Ditworth - or the hostages are forfeit.'

  Jedson spoke up before I could protest. Don't be a hero, son. This is serious. You can serve us all best by going. If you two don't come back, you can bet that they'll have a fight on their hands before they claim their forfeit!'

  I went. Worthington and I had hardly left them before I realized acutely that what little peace of mind I had came from the nearness of Amanda. Once out of her immediate influence the whole mind-twisting horror of the place and its grisly denizens hit me. I felt something rub against my ankles and nearly jumped out of my shoes. But when I looked down I saw that Seraphin, Amanda's cat, had chosen to follow me. After that things were better with me.

  Royce assumed his dog pose when we came to the first rank of demons. He first handed me his grandfather's head. Once I would have found that mummified head repulsive to touch; it seemed a friendly, homey thing here. Then he was down on all fours, scalloping in and out of the ranks of infernal warriors. Seraphin scampered after him, paired up and hunted with him. The hound seemed quite content to let the cat do half the work, and I have no doubt he was justified. I walked as rapidly as possible down the aisles between adjacent squadrons while the animals cast out from side to side.

  It seems to me that this went on for many hours, certainly so long that fatigue changed to a wooden automatism and horror died down to a dull unease. I learned not to look at the eyes of the demons, and was no longer surprised at any outre shape.

  Squadron by squadron, division by division, we combed them, until at last, coming up the left wing, we reached the end. The animals had been growing increasingly nervous. When they had completed the front rank of the leading squadron, the hound trotted up to me and whined. I suppose he sought his grandfather, but I reached down and patted his head.

  Don't despair, old friend,' I said, we have still these.' I motioned towards the generals, princes all, who were posted before their divisions. Coming up from the rear as we had, we had yet to examine the generals of the leading divisions on the left wing. But despair already claimed me; what were half a dozen possibilities against an eliminated seven million?

  The dog trotted away to the post of the nearest general, the cat close beside him, while I followed as rapidly as possibl
e. He commenced to yelp before he was fairly up to the demon, and I broke into a run. The demon stirred and commenced to metamorphose. But even in this strange shape there was something familiar about it. Ditworth!' I yelled, and dived for him.

  I felt myself buffeted by leather wings, raked by claws. Royce came to my aid, a dog no longer, but two hundred pounds of fighting Negro. The cat was a ball of fury, teeth, and claws. Nevertheless, we would have been lost, done in completely, had not an amazing thing happened. A demon broke ranks and shot towards us. I sensed him rather than saw him, and thought that he had come to succour his master, though I had been assured that their customs did not permit it. But he helped us - us, his natural enemies - and attacked with such vindictive violence that the gauge was turned to our favour.

  Suddenly it was all over. I found myself on the ground, clutching at not a demon prince but Ditworth in his pseudo- human form - a little mild businessman, dressed with restrained elegance, complete to briefcase, spectacles, and thinning hair.

  Take that thing off me,' he said testily. That thing' was grandfather, who was clinging doggedly with toothless gums to his neck.

  Royce spared a hand from the task of holding Ditworth and resumed possession of his grandfather. Seraphin stayed where he was, claws dug into our prisoner's leg.

  The demon who had rescued us was still with us. He had Ditworth by the shoulders, talons dug into their bases. I cleared my throat and said, I believe we owe this to you-' I had not the slightest notion of the proper thing to say. I think the situation was utterly without precedent.

  The demon made a grimace that may have been intended to be friendly, but which I found frightening. Let me introduce myself,' he said in English. I'm Federal Agent William Kane, Bureau of Investigation.'

  I think that was what made me faint.

  I came to, lying on my back. Someone had smeared a salve on my wounds and they were hardly stiff, and not painful in the least, but I was mortally tired. There was talking going on somewhere near me. I turned my head and saw all the members of my party gathered together. Worthington and the friendly demon who claimed to be a G-man held Ditworth between them, facing Satan. Of all the mighty infernal army I saw no trace.

 

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