by Jacobs Evan
It was a proud moment. He’d shrugged off Dan’s betrayal. His friends believed him. Sooner or later, though, he’d have to deal with Dan.
CHAPTER 30
Too Close to Home
Eric woke up late. He walked into the kitchen. Everyone was getting ready for the day. He didn’t want to see anyone. His stomach growled. What could he grab fast? He didn’t want to go to school on an empty stomach.
His dad sat at the table. He wore casual clothes, which meant he was working from home. A tablet was in front of him. “I read something online about the county tournament,” he said.
“Oh?” Eric said. He went to the pantry. Granola bars would be quick. He could flee as soon as he grabbed some.
Then Maddie came into the kitchen.
“Daddy, where’d Mommy put my lunch?” she asked.
“In the refrigerator.”
“Okeydokey.”
Eric looked at Maddie. Her life was so simple. Why couldn’t his life be like that? It probably wouldn’t ever be like that again.
“Did you read the article?” his dad asked. They made eye contact.
There was more than one article. But he didn’t want to tell his dad. Eric hadn’t read any of them. Why should he care?
“Why did the Bonums move back? Why do they feel the need to share this?”
Maddie got her lunch. Then she turned around, like she wanted to listen.
“You wrestle at 135. You could compete against Danielle. Then you’ll be in the news too. Well, it’s not going to happen. You’re not competing. End of story.”
“Dad,” Eric protested. “I have to—”
“You don’t have to, Eric. I’m not letting my son be a part of a freak show. You could seriously hurt Danielle. She’s a girl. You’re a man. There’s no way—”
“We’ve rolled before,” Eric said. “It’ll be fine. Dan knows what he’s doing.”
“Stop referring to her as Dan! You sound stupid, Eric.”
They stared at each other.
Eric’s mom walked into the kitchen. “You ready to go, Maddie?” she asked.
“Daddy and Eric are fighting. Why are you fighting?” she asked Eric.
“Dad doesn’t want me to compete in the tournament,” Eric said. “Because I might have to face Dan. He probably won’t even get that far.”
“All right,” his dad said. He stood up suddenly. “I’ve said everything I’m going to say about this. You’re not competing in that tournament. I’ve got to sign off on it. Well, I won’t. Your mother won’t either.”
Eric looked at his mom.
“Maddie,” she said. “Let’s go.”
“No! Maddie needs to hear this,” his dad said. “It’s about time she learned it’s okay to stay away from certain people. Everybody is walking on eggshells. Political correctness has gone too far. What about acting correctly? Setting a good example? Are people like Danielle doing that?”
Maddie and her mom left without a word. Eric wanted to argue more. But it was a lost cause. It would make his dad angrier. His mom knew it. That’s why she’d left in silence.
Eric wanted things to be normal again. Even if that meant Dan was out of his life for good. At that moment he didn’t want Danielle back.
CHAPTER 31
A Quart Low
Eric and Greg circled each other. A few students at Chen MMA watched. The center was packed. Some rolled on the mats. Others hit the heavy bags.
“They’re not doing anything,” someone said.
“I know,” another responded. “That’s how Sensei wants it. We’re supposed to roll without getting hurt.”
Eric had thrown a few crosses. That was it.
Greg had shot in. He had tried to take Eric to the mat. Eric had managed to sprawl and stop him. But Greg was having success. He’d moved Eric all over the mat. Eric wasn’t sharp with his striking punches. If this were a real match, he would’ve lost.
Eric knew Sensei Chen was watching them. He was working nearby with other students. What was he thinking?
“You want to go to the ground?” Greg asked.
“No,” Eric said. He was annoyed.
The only person Eric could see was Dan. He couldn’t shake the image. Dan was really skilled on his feet. He could probably outbox Eric. That wasn’t going to happen. He couldn’t let it. Eric couldn’t lose to a girl.
But he wouldn’t be losing to a girl. He’d be losing to a girl becoming a boy.
“You can’t even beat her?” people would say.
Those thoughts were hard to block. Great punches were important. He had to be able to compete against Dan. Getting Dan to the mat should be easy. What if it wasn’t?
Was Dan competitive on the ground? He’d won some trophies.
Eric needed to keep his advantage. He would continue to work on his ground game. And continue to train for a standing contest.
Be prepared. Be prepared, he repeated in his head.
CHAPTER 32
Truth
Eric moved in a circle on the mat. It looked like he was skipping sideways. He threw punches. Each punch came faster than the last.
Many students had left the center. A few still practiced moves on the mats.
“You okay?” Sensei Chen asked.
Eric had been focused. He hadn’t seen him walk over. “Yeah,” he said.
“You sure?”
Eric eyed Sensei Chen. He moved in another circle. Then he stopped. “Everything’s fine,” he stated.
“I’m not so sure it is,” Sensei Chen said. “You haven’t seemed right. You still never addressed what happened—”
“It was just a bad day, okay?” Eric interrupted.
“Okay.” Sensei’s tone was even. He never raised his voice. “It may be time for you to find another dojo.” Then he walked away.
“What?” Eric couldn’t believe it. “Why?”
Sensei Chen turned around. “You tell me? Does this have anything to do with the tournament? About the possibility of competing against your friend Dan?”
Eric didn’t want to talk. But he had to. Sensei insisted on openness.
“My dad doesn’t want me in the tournament,” he said. His voice was low. Eric didn’t want anybody to overhear. “Dan’s going to have a lot of attention. My dad thinks it’s going to make me look bad.”
“What do you think?”
“I don’t know,” Eric said. “But I want to be in the tournament.”
“Our creed is honesty, integrity and intensity,” Sensei said. “I understand your situation, Eric. What I’m not going to allow is dishonesty. You are being dishonest with yourself. Speak the truth. At least Dan’s being real.”
Eric knew Sensei Chen was right. He hadn’t been honest with himself. Being around Dan was fun. He liked the guy.
That wasn’t wrong.
Eric was scared of other people’s opinions. He was worried about the tournament. Acknowledge the fear. Move on. Things would still be difficult. Eventually everything would be fine.
He could harness the fear—use it.
“You’re a great person, Eric,” Sensei Chen said. “Probably my finest student. If I didn’t talk to you about this, I’d be dishonest. You have the intensity of this dojo down. It seems like you need to work on honesty and integrity.”
CHAPTER 33
The Time Is Now
Eric was leaving school. Dan walked past him. He didn’t even look his way. They hadn’t spoken in two weeks.
“Dude,” Lance said. “Why don’t you get it over with?”
“What?” Eric eyed his friend.
“Just waste that guy before the tournament.”
“Yeah,” Lance said. “Nobody’s going to care if you mess that thing up. Maybe he’ll leave school.”
“Yeah,” Liam said. “Then we won’t have to look at him.”
Eric couldn’t believe it. He didn’t understand Dan. But hate him? No, he didn’t hate him. His friends didn’t even see Dan as a person. It made him sad.
>
For the first time he knew what Dan lived with. How people judged him without knowing him. And he hated it.
“You guys are idiots,” Eric said.
“What?” Liam asked.
“You don’t even know that guy.”
“Eric, it’s not a guy,” Lance joked.
“Why do you care?” Eric asked.
“Are you into him or something?” Liam asked. “Why are you defending him?”
“You guys just talk.” Eric stopped walking. Lance and Liam did the same. “That’s all you do. Do you ever listen to yourselves? You don’t know Dan. You could never go through what he’s going through.”
He didn’t know why he was so mad. A spark had been ignited. He’d listened to the hateful comments for too long. The way they talked about people was crude. He wasn’t taking it anymore. They were not going to diss Dan again.
“I wouldn’t want to go through it,” Lance said.
“Neither would I,” Liam said.
“That’s the point,” Eric said. “Now imagine if you didn’t have a choice.” Then he turned and walked away.
“You got problems, Eric!” Lance called.
He didn’t look back. Problems? Yeah, he had problems. Agreed. That was the only truth he’d heard from his friends in a long time.
CHAPTER 34
Slow Your Roll
What?” Dan asked as he opened the front door. His tone was sharp.
Eric stood on the doorstep. “I want to talk to you,” he said. “Is that cool?”
Dan stared at him. Then he shook his head. “Sure, come on in.”
They walked into the garage.
“Look, I’m sorry about calling you out. It was low,” Dan said. “Our past is private. I shouldn’t have done that.”
Thoughts flashed through his mind. They had ever since he’d schooled Lance and Liam. Those two probably thought he liked Dan.
The tournament was coming up. They would compete. Eric knew his mom would sign off on it. People were going to find out about them. Guy versus ex-girlfriend. Who was now a boy. What would everyone think?
“Dan,” Eric yelled. It was the only way to stop his thoughts. “I don’t understand this stuff. Okay? I don’t. I don’t understand how I feel about you. I really liked you.”
“And I liked you, Eric.”
“I still like you!” Eric’s voice was loud.
Dan stared at him.
Eric’s heart pounded. He was breathing like he was in a match.
“But you’re not Danielle. You’re this new person. You’re Dan. Am I not supposed to have feelings anymore? And now we’re in the tournament. We’ll probably compete against each other. Everybody knows. They’re going to find out about us. I hate it. I just want things to be normal!” He took a deep breath. Finally he’d said everything that had been building up.
“You want me to be normal,” Dan said.
“Yes!” Eric yelled. “I want you to be normal!”
“Eric,” Dan said angrily. “This is my normal. You keep talking about wanting Danielle back. What about you? When did you become so fake?”
Suddenly Eric’s nerves vanished. He wasn’t worried about offending Dan. The anger bubbled up. “I’m a fake?” he yelled. “You’re the fake. At least I can accept who I am.”
Dan stared at him. His posture changed. It was as if he realized something. “Don’t you get it? You know what would have been fake? Accepting who I wasn’t.”
Then it hit Eric. Dan was being his true self. He hadn’t ever thought about it like that. It clicked. Hating Dan would not bring Danielle back. He didn’t want to hate anyone. The fear started to melt away.
“You can walk away,” Dan said. “Avoid me. Act like we don’t know each other. I’ll do the same. This is who I am. Take your time getting used to it. Eventually you’re going to have to accept it. Or walk away.”
It was a stare-down. Eric looked away first. He had to.
Dan was right.
“I’m sorry,” he said softly. He felt his voice crack. Eric hated being so emotional. Who was he to judge Dan? He was ashamed. It was embarrassing how close-minded he’d been.
“Don’t be sorry.” Dan put his hand on Eric’s shoulder. “Just be my friend, okay?”
“Okay.” Eric smiled.
Dan smiled back. “Are we going to roll or not?”
CHAPTER 35
Friends With Benefits
Eric grabbed Dan and practically threw him across the mat. He moved toward him, but Dan rolled away.
Eric was exposed. Dan managed to get on top. He wrapped his arm around Eric’s neck.
Eric lay there. Was he still taking it easy on Dan? He wasn’t sure.
Dan was agile. He moved in a certain way. It was hard to pin him down. Was this because he had been a girl?
Eric could see the leg lock coming. Dan moved into position. Then Eric pushed his hands into the mat. It took all his strength to stand.
Eric wanted to grab Dan. Take him to the mat. But he was allusive and fast. His footwork was slick.
Then Eric started dirty boxing. It was a mix of wrestling and boxing. Dan was still hitting him, but Eric closed the distance. Suddenly he grabbed Dan and took him to the mat.
Dan was quick. He got on top of Eric. Then he pinned him. This move would score big points in a real match. It would look good to the judges.
They were cheek to cheek. Their sweat mixed together. Then Eric kissed Dan’s wet cheek. His lips seemed to melt into the soft skin. He felt Dan’s body tense up.
Eric turned his body. He got out from Dan’s hold and stood. Dan turned and stood too.
“Protect yourself at all times!” Eric smirked.
The kiss wasn’t a trick to get out of the hold. Eric had wanted to kiss Dan. He still thought Danielle was in there, somewhere. But maybe it had been a mistake.
He decided then and there to respect his old friend. But it was hard to let go. Danielle Bonum was really gone.
“You’d better not do that in the tournament,” Dan said. “You think you have problems now? This city would flip if we started kissing on the mat.”
The guys cracked up.
“Dude, you won’t win enough matches to face me,” Eric said.
“Don’t be surprised if you’re the one eliminated in the first round.”
“Yeah,” Eric said. “Right.”
Dan smiled. It was Danielle’s smile.
Eric ignored his feelings. Eventually they would go away. He’d meet a girl who was as great as Danielle someday. He had to.
Dan threw out some crosses. Eric sidestepped them. He threw out some jabs. They threw Dan off balance.
“Have you been working on your stand-up game?” Dan asked.
“A little,” Eric said. Then he rushed Dan.
Dan did everything he could to sprawl. But Eric was too strong. He had seized the moment. Wrapping his arms around Dan, he took him to the mat.
CHAPTER 36
Time Continues
Eric opened the front door. The smell of lasagna hit him a second later. He made his way to the kitchen.
“There he is,” Maddie said.
The family sat at the table. A half-eaten lasagna was in the middle.
“Hey,” Eric said as he sat in his chair. “Sorry I’m late.”
“We texted you,” his mom said. She put a large helping of lasagna on his plate.
Today had not been normal. He was usually starved after training. But the day had been an emotional rollercoaster. Dan. His bonehead friends, Lance and Liam. The looming county tournament.
In the weeks leading up to a tournament, Eric was hyper-focused. He watched his diet. Every minute was spent at Chen MMA. The past was laughable. But this was his new normal. Zero focus. A huge plate of lasagna.
Did he regret it? For the first time in a while, he felt good. Great, even. Being honest with himself had set him free. Eric cared about Dan. He wanted him in his life, whether he was male or female.
“
Sorry,” Eric said. “I saw the texts too late. Dan and I were rolling.”
Nobody spoke. All eyes were on him. Eric didn’t know what to do. He scooped some lasagna into his mouth.
“I thought we went over this,” his dad said. His voice was low. “You’re not taking part in that tournament.”
Tension filled the room. Eric saw his mom sit back in her chair. She took a sip from her glass.
Maddie watched with big eyes. “Why can’t he be in the tournament?” she asked.
Eric’s dad stabbed his food with a fork. He glared at everyone. “I think you’d better take Maddie into the other room,” he said.
“No,” Eric said. He looked at his parents. “Don’t take Maddie anywhere. She needs to hear this.”
“She’s my daughter. And I say she doesn’t. Who are you to tell me anything?”
“Maddie,” Eric said to her. “You know Dan is different than before, right?”
“Stop it!”
“Dan used to be Danielle, remember?”
“Eric—”
“I don’t understand it all,” Eric said, talking softly. He didn’t want to upset his family. But fear was the enemy. “He’s different now. Dan’s different from anybody I’ve ever known. But we don’t hate people who are different, do we?”
“No,” Maddie said, shaking her head. “Mommy says it’s okay to be different.”
Eric looked at his mom. She hadn’t said a word during the entire conversation. But he could see the corners of her lips were curving upward. She looked proud.
“It is,” Eric said. “It’s easy to forget. Different people can be scary. I was scared of Dan at first. I’ve gotten to know him.”
“But you already knew him when he was Danielle,” Maddie said.
“Well, now he’s Dan. And I’m not going to be scared of him anymore. His differences don’t mean we can’t be friends. My fear is my problem. I need to learn to get over it.”
Eric eyed his dad. He had turned red with fury. It would have been easier to end the conversation. Let it blow over. The old Eric would have stopped talking.