by Ava Hunt
“Good,” Toby murmured.
“If you feel ready,” the man said. “I can make you a little more comfortable.”
The man unhooked the restraints from Toby’s hands.
“What are those for?” Toby met the man’s green eyes. They were so vivid, he could pick out each difference in color in the iris. His blond hair was pulled back, Toby imagined it was almost as long as Alexa’s.
“A precaution,” said the man. “Sometimes people pull at the bandage in their sleep.”
Toby didn’t question that. He had no idea what people did in hospitals since he spent most of his life avoiding them.
“This is going to be uncomfortable. It shouldn’t hurt though. Stay as still as you can.”
Toby didn’t want to see anything removed from his body, instead he focused on the small window behind him. Moonlight shone through it.
The man removed the tube from Toby’s mouth first. The sensation was mortifying. Blessed relief filled him when it was gone. He was just happy he didn’t puke on the guy.
Toby’s head fell to the side, resting on the pillow. The hallway was dark, creepy even. It might have been normal to see a zombie shuffling by. Estrella had insisted they performed in a private office away from her downtown suite. Not for the first time did he wonder if he made the right choice. But there was no going back now.
“Are you in any pain?” the green-eyed man asked.
Toby took a mental inspection of his body. “Actually, no.”
The man smiled. “Good. We have you on some pretty strong medication.”
Toby tried to feel comfort at the man’s relief, but he didn’t feel like he’d been opened up at all.
Minutes later, Estrella walked into the room. Toby’s body relax at the sight of her. “Doc, he—” Toby realized he didn’t know the orderly’s name.
“You can call me Cal.”
Estrella and Cal exchanged a look before Cal left the room.
“Cal said it went well?”
Estrella nodded. “The heart took beautifully. Like I knew it would.”
“That’s great.” Toby stared at the ceiling, incredibly thankful for her. His vision blurred momentarily. He wiped at his eyes. “So what’s next?”
She sat on the bed next to him. “Again, you have to be very vague about this entire situation. I risked my reputation and license to do this for you.”
“I understand. I owe you my life, the least I can do is lie for you. Can I ask where the heart came from?”
Cal peeked his head into the room and cleared his throat.
Estrella held her hand up to him. “I know.”
Cal glanced at Toby before disappearing again.
She offered a small smile. “The less you know, the less you can tell.”
It seemed very wrong, but Toby trusted her.
“I can tell you is that your body responded so well to the heart once we took you off bypass, I foresee a quick recovery.”
“I already feel great, actually.” Almost as if nothing had happened. “You did perform the surgery right?”
Estrella laughed. “Yes we did. People are sometimes surprised how well they recover. Which is why we’re particular about where hearts go.”
“I see.”
Estrella placed her hand on Toby’s. “This is all a bit unorthodox but I promise you will live a long and happy life. You and Alexa.”
Toby winced, reminded of his absent girlfriend. Would this be the thing to bring them back together? How could he explain it to her when he, in fact, wasn’t supposed to talk about it with anyone?
He decided to chance the subject. “What are my limitations with the new heart?”
Estrella’s cheeks flushed red. “You’ll be able to resume all normal activities when you feel up to it.”
It took Toby a minute to realize what his question had sounded like. Since his diagnosis he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to do that ever again without risk of another episode. At the mention of it, it was something he was looking forward to when he got better.
He cleared his throat, finding the need to change the subject again. “Eating restrictions?”
She pressed her lips together while in thought. “Whatever you’re craving should be fine.”
“Even a double cheeseburger?” he joked.
She cracked a smile. “In moderation.”
He matched her smile. “Of course.”
She glanced at the window as if she had somewhere else to be.
“You can tell your husband or boyfriend, I’m sorry to keep you so late.”
She waved her hands between them. “No one is waiting for me at home.”
Toby couldn’t imagine anyone passing up the chance to be with an intelligent, caring doctor like Estrella. He let his mind briefly wander to if he was single. He would jump at the opportunity of this amazing woman; the incredible Latin features and the way that her voice sounded like a melody. She was definitely different than the other women he dated. He immediately chastised himself for the thought. He was with Alexa. There wasn’t a marriage vow but he was always faithful to his partners.
“I’m sure it’s only a matter of time,” he said.
She smiled again, thought it didn’t reach her eyes. “You should get some rest. I’ll check on you in the morning and we can get you home.”
Even though he’d been asleep for hours under anesthesia, he felt more tired than he had in a long time. He snuggled deeper into the uncomfortable hospital bed, closed his eyes, and imagined a second chance at life.
Chapter Five
The next morning, Cal was the one to discharge Toby. Toby was regretful that he didn’t get Estrella to see him off.
Cal pressed his fingers over the tape on Toby’s chest. “You need to keep the bandage on until this afternoon. Then, if needed, clean it every six hours and re-bandage.”
Toby prepared himself for the onslaught of paperwork he’d been used to filling out. “Do I need to sign anything?”
Cal looked at him. “According to everyone except you, me and Ella, this never happened.”
And Stan, Toby silently added. He had to trust in someone outside of the Doc, and Stan was a vault. He’d never tell Cal that. Even though they were around the same size, he was sure in his condition, Cal could kick his ass.
“Right,” Toby said instead. He didn’t like Cal’s nickname for Estrella. He enjoyed the way her full name felt on his tongue. It was unique, like her. Though he wondered about their relationship.
“How do you know Dr. Martinez?” Toby asked.
Cal smirked. “We go way back.” He didn’t elaborate further.
Toby allowed Cal to help him up from the bed, but took over when it came to getting dressed. His body was stiff from laying down so long, otherwise he was good. Possibly better than good. He didn’t want to press his luck.
Cal insisted on giving Toby a ride home since he took a cab there the day before at the insistence of keeping the surgery secret. Toby tried to make polite conversation but it was apparent that whatever rapport they had was left at the hospital. Cal turned up the volume of the radio while navigating his car through the downtown streets as swiftly as an Indie 500 driver. Toby allowed himself to relax against the cool leather seat and watch the world fly by. The buildings appeared sharper to him, almost as if he was moving in slow motion, able to take in every single detail of the brick and concrete around him. His euphoria from getting a second chance at life must have been affecting him, slowing down his racing brain to take a clearer look at the world.
They arrived at Toby’s home on the edge of downtown quicker than he expected.
Toby was able to help himself out of the car, feeling stronger with each passing minute. He leaned over, peering into the car. “Thanks for the ride, Cal.”
Cal leaned across the divider between them, his face close enough that Toby could smell the leftover bacon from his egg sandwich. “You heed Ella’s warning or I’m coming for you.”
Was he h
er bodyguard? Toby’s gaze darted between Cal’s eyes. “Yeah, I got it.”
Cal sat into his seat and stared in front of him. A small smile touched the corners of his lips. “You enjoy your new life now, ya hear?”
Toby pushed the car door. The second it closed, Cal reversed and sped away.
“What a strange guy,” Toby mumbled. He looked across his freshly mowed lawn and inhaled, taking in the warmth of the sun. The clean scent of the dewy grass filled him with a new impression on life.
A dog barked, jarring him from his thoughts. He whirled around, looking for it. The sound had been right behind him but where was the animal? He inhaled sharply, immediately not knowing why. He scanned the area. He must have imagined it. Maybe hearing things was a side effect from the anesthesia.
Dismissing it, he headed for the front door.
Toby quietly navigated the house for fear of waking Alexa before ten. She demanded twelve hours of sleep. His body warmed thinking of her. As he healed, he would heal their relationship as well. And get back on track.
He went into the guest bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror. He expected a pale, sickly person to look back at him, but instead the color had returned to his face. He pulled his shirt over his head, revealing the large bandage across his chest. He had to remember to change it later. He turned on the sink and dipped his head under the faucet, scrubbing the hospital out of his hair. After washing his face and quickly moving a damp cloth over his body he headed for the guest bedroom. He’d been sleeping in the guest room on and off over the past weeks when Alexa insisted, so he had a stash of clothes. He pulled on a t-shirt and workout shorts. The small act of changing clothes made him feel like a new man. His body pulsed with energy. Not what he expected, but who was he to complain?
He texted Stan, and twenty minutes later, his friend showed up at the house.
Stan waited until Toby was in the car before asking, “How the hell are you standing right now? Did you do the surgery?”
Toby grinned. “I don’t know. And yes.”
“Holy shit man, my wife makes me watch a lot of Grey’s Anatomy and I’ve never seen a recovery that quick.”
Toby drummed his fingers on the door. “I’m not questioning it.”
“Well if you feel like you’re going to have another episode, a simple warning would be a big help.”
He gave Stan a look. “Just drive.”
Halfway down his street, a chocolate lab bounced up and down, banging its paws along the white-picket fence. Toby’s world slowed down. It barked and the sound shot straight through him. The bark was crystal clear and unmistakable to his ears. That couldn’t have been the dog he’d searched for that morning. Had it run away to his house? By the look of the fence and the electric collar around its neck he knew it couldn’t be the case. Could it? When the dog was out of eyesight, Toby turned in his seat and shook his head.
“You okay?” Stan asked.
If he never heard those words again from anyone in his life, it would be too soon.
“I’m fine.”
“Where to first?” Stan asked.
“Breakfast? I’m starving.”
Stan pointed his fork at Toby, remains of his French toast speared on the prongs. “You know you can take more time off work if you need to. Call me a pessimist but you should be in bed right now.”
“For the tenth time, I’m fine.” Toby dipped toast into his runny eggs and ate it, savoring each bite. A little moan escaped from his lips. Did food always taste this good?
Stan’s eyebrows knitted together. “Okay, bud. Well I’m glad you’re okay.” He checked his watch. “Though I do need to head into the office. I’ve heard enough of you orgasming over your food.”
“Hey, I almost died man, give me a break.” Toby said. “Besides, it’s Sunday. You don’t need to go in.”
Stan snorted. “When did that ever stop either of us?”
It was true. Even though Toby had been counting the days until he could go back to work, he wanted nothing more than to enjoy today. He’d be back at work, fresh and ready to go tomorrow.
Stan picked up the bill from the table and stood up from his seat. “Plus I’m doing both our jobs here.”
Toby got up from the table, finishing his last piece of toast. “Not for long.”
It was closer to ten when Stanley dropped Toby off. With the nutrients from his breakfast and an extra zing in his step, he could deal with Alexa’s wrath for waking her up. He missed her.
He burst into the bedroom. Alexa sat up quickly, her blonde hair a mess atop her head.
“What the hell, Toby?” Her chest heaved.
Toby sat on the edge of the bed. “Sorry to wake you.”
“What time is it?”
“Almost ten.” She checked the clock on the bedside table.
She groaned. “You know I need my sleep.”
He took her hand in his. “I know. I wanted to tell you something.”
“You couldn’t have waited until after I woke up on my own?”
“I’m better.”
She raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean ‘better’? The doctor said you had less than a year to live.”
“I enrolled in a trial for a new drug,” he lied. It was something that Cal suggested. Most trials had anonymous recipients so even if anyone wanted to check it out, they wouldn’t be able to. “They’ve already seen incredible improvement. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, I wanted to see how the results panned out. ”
She removed her hand from under his and flicked her hair out of her face. “I must still be asleep.”
Toby leaned in, pressing a kiss to her lips.
“Morning breath!” she exclaimed, jumping back and slapping a hand over her mouth.
“I don’t care,” he said, almost giddy. “I have a whole new look on life, Alexa. I want us to move past this.”
She shuffled off the other end of the bed and into the ensuite bathroom. Toby heard the rush of water from the faucet and her brushing her teeth. He had imagined a different outcome from her. She should be happy for him. For them.
Toby went into the bathroom. He leaned against the door frame, watching her. “Alexa, please tell me what’s wrong. You’ve been acting strange ever since you got back from your girls getaway.”
She finished brushing and looked at him through the mirror. “This whole situation is stressful. I’ve had to get a massage at least once a week since you were in the hospital. I mean, when someone tells you your boyfriend is dying…”
He went to her side and touched her shoulder. “I get it. That’s past us now.”
She snorted. “You’re in a trial. That’s not a promise you will get better.”
Prickles of heat flitted across his body. “I feel better though. That should be enough.”
She rolled her eyes. “I have to get ready—”
Flames billowed inside of him. He moved, blocking her from the shower, needing her to stop running away from their problems. “Talk to me. I know something is up.”
She held her hands in front of her as if he was going to attack her. He would never hurt her. He only wanted to understand what was going through her head. Tears welled in her eyes. “I need to go. We can talk later okay?”
Her wobbly voice struck him inside, drenching his heat with ice. He tried to steady his breath. “Okay.”
He left the bathroom and headed into the guest bathroom. He grabbed the glass he’d left there the other night and filled it with water. He almost lost it in there. He’d never felt that angry before. What had come over him? The incision under his bandage itched as if a thousand fire ants were crawling under his skin. He lifted his shirt over his head and picked at the edge of the tape, slowing pulling it away from his body. The air against his chest was like a salve over the wound.
His skin ran cold when he looked in the mirror at his chest. The itching sensation had evaporated yet his body was nothing like he imagined. Where there should have been an ugly, raw cut, there
was only his unblemished shaved chest. He blinked a few times, not understanding. He had been sore after the surgery. Hadn’t he? It seemed impossible that he’d be free of evidence of the surgery. He smoothed his fingers over his chest, feeling for anything. Instead he looked and felt like he did before the first incident. He should have been over the moon that his body was healed. The idea that he would have healed that quickly was preposterous. Something had either gone wrong or he’d been duped into believing he had surgery at all.
Chapter Six
Toby waited until Alexa left the house before calling Estrella. His mind worked on overdrive and his body broke out in that prickly heat again. Something was off and he had a terrible feeling that it wasn’t his heart. The office number rang several times before connecting to an automated message. When the voice mail option came on, Toby clicked it. After the beep he was rendered speechless. He wasn’t sure who was going to listen to the message and Estrella had asked him to keep everything secret. If he never had the surgery then he had nothing to keep a secret about. He tripped over his words and left a vague message about Dr. Martinez calling him back as soon as possible.
He didn’t have to wait long to hear back. An unknown number called him back within minutes.
“Hello?” Toby answered.
“Toby?” Estrella asked. “Is everything okay?”
He ran his sweaty fingers through his hair. “Not really, Doc. I went to change my bandage and there’s nothing there.”
There was a shuffling sound on the other end, followed by a door closing. “What do you mean there’s nothing there?” she said in a low voice.
He placed a hand on his chest as if she could see him doing it. “No wound. No dried blood. Nothing. How is that possible?”
Estrella sighed. “Toby, you’re fine. We used a scar reducing medication after the surgery. It’s been proved to be quite effective.”
Toby stopped pacing and looked down at his chest. Scar-reducing? He didn’t even see a hint of anything.
“Also,” she started, “Surgeries now are more efficient through technology. Our incisions are smaller which makes healing time quicker.”