by Ava Hunt
The dream replayed in his mind as he made coffee and showered. He could still smell the other bears. He was able to differentiate that underlying scent, it was musty earth mixed with honey.
His subconscious must have placed Cal there from the surgery. Though he wondered how his mind created that connection. He had pointed to his heart. Even though his shower was steaming the bathroom, an ice cold shiver slowly moved its way down Toby’s spine. Toby had been through the impossible since he fainted on the golf course. He’d been given a second chance with a new heart that Estrella got from somewhere secret. Then he turned into a fricken bear. Would it be that impossible to make the connection between the two? He was washing his chest when a dangerous thought crossed his mind. From his search, shifters tended to have quick healing abilities. Had Estrella lied about the medicine to clear up the scar? Even though he never saw doctors, he knew technology like that would be well known.
His heart sank at the thought of another woman in his life lying to him. She had no reason to be truthful, he barely knew her. He wanted to know her better, but not if she turned out to be like Alexa. There was only one way to find out.
Chapter Twelve
The sign for Patrick’s Pub was carved out of wood, easy enough to miss in the dark if you weren’t looking for it. The streetlights in that area were few and far between. Toby was surprised when Estrella suggested the place. He was used to taking women—mostly Alexa—to more expensive and quieter places. Yet another reason they weren’t compatible. He still chastised himself for not listening to Stan sooner.
He expected to wait for Estrella but she was already at the bar when he arrived. She waved him over and hopped off the bar stool. A breath caught in his throat. He’d only seen her in a lab coat or in a business suit at her office. He was pleasantly surprised to see her in normal clothes. Her jeans showed the curve of her hips and the low-cut shirt added to those curves. Her dark hair was down, longer than he expected since she’d always had it up in his presence.
Her lips curled into a smile when he came up next to her. “Hey, Toby.”
“Hey Doc.”
“Estrella, please,” she said sitting on a stool. Her accent was more pronounced tonight. Maybe she was more relaxed in this place. Whatever it was, he wanted it to keep happening. He’d forgotten how gorgeous she was, or it might have been because he was clouded by Alexa’s bullshit. At the end of the day he was an honorable man. Though seeing Estrella made him want to fast forward to the next part of their date.
Get yourself together, he thought. You have to get answers before anything can happen.
He sat on the stool next to her, unsure how to ease into the conversation.
He was happy when she spoke first. “Have you ever been here?”
“I can’t say that I have,” he said, looking around at the wood paneled walls adorned with random photographs. “I didn’t even know this place existed.”
She smirked. “It’s a hole in the wall for sure.”
The bartender leaned against the counter in front of Estrella. “A hole in the wall that you’ve been keeping in business since college.”
She pursed her lips at the tall, burly man. “What can I say?” she turned to Toby and stage-whispered conspiratorially, “I like the fact that no one here will hit on me.”
Good thing Toby hadn’t hit on her yet then. “Why’s that?”
“My cousin owns the place.”
The bartender chimed in. “And he’s very protective.” He smiled with all of his teeth.
If he was trying to be intimidating, it wasn’t working.
The thump of a glass on the bar grabbed all three of their attentions. “Marty, gimme another round.”
The greasy guy winked at Estrella and Toby’s chest tightened.
She planted a kiss on the bartender's cheek. “I hope Isabelle is doing well.”
He leaned close to her. “She’s better when I’m not sober.”
Estrella laughed, tilting her head back. Her hair brushed Toby’s thigh and it took all of his strength not to run his fingers over it.
The bartender, Marty, placed a full glass of beer on the wood top. “Whose tab is it on tonight?”
“Mine,” Toby said, not really knowing why.
Estrella and the two men looked at him. “To new friends.”
Toby caught a silent exchange between Marty and Estrella. He pretended not to notice.
The greasy man, tilted his glass to Toby and shuffled to a nearby high-top.
Toby and Estrella put in their drink order and then she turned to him. “That was a smooth move.”
Toby grinned. “I’m a smooth guy.”
They both laughed.
“Wow that sounded stupid,” he said, still laughing.
“It really did, but I forgive you.”
Two beers appeared in front of them and Toby picked his up and clinked it with hers. “Thanks for saving my life.”
He swallowed a mouthful of beer, the bubbles soothed his parched throat. He hoped he didn’t show how nervous he was.
Estrella hadn’t drank from her glass. She merely offered a small smile. “It’s my job.”
Toby pressed on, not wanting to turn back from the conversation. “I meant the other part.” He was being vague for the sake of the patrons in the pub since they were both aware of what he was talking about.
She scanned the room then sat forward on her stool, not looking at him.
He leaned into her. “Did I say something wrong?” Tell me the truth.
“I’m so stupid,” she said to herself. “I shouldn’t have brought you here, I just thought—”
“You thought what?”
Her eyes met his, they were brown pools of secrets. And lies. He took another swig of the beer to quell the sinking feeling in his stomach. There was no turning back now.
“You thought what?” he repeated in a harsher tone.
“You’re not okay, are you?”
It was hard to keep the edge out of his voice. “Why would you think that?” He wanted her to explain, he already knew what he was going through.
She pressed her lips together before speaking. “There wasn’t a special scar-reducing medication. You healed on your own.”
“How?” he asked in a low voice.
Her gaze fell to her lap. “That’s something science can’t explain.”
“What can science explain?”
She looked around the room and leaned closer. “We shouldn’t be talking about this here.”
“Afraid you’re going to get fired?” he hadn’t intended the question to come out as harshly as it did. Her wince made him regret it.
“People are here are very…observant.”
Toby looked around at the men and women who hadn’t bothered to look in their direction. How observant could they be when he could barely hear her in the noise of the place. And he had heightened hearing.
“Toby,” she placed her hand gently on his arm, the touch sent an electric current through his body. “Did you change?”
The question struck him, rendering him silent.
“The other night. You were something else?”
“Stop skirting the truth. Tell me what’s going on with me.”
She took a large swig of beer and wiped her mouth with a napkin. “The heart I gave you wasn’t a normal human heart.”
As if it were called, Toby’s non-human heart beat hard against his chest in response. “Go on.”
“It’s a bear shifter heart.”
The impossible thoughts Toby had weren’t so impossible now. “How did you obtain the heart?”
“I’m a doctor for this particular group of shifters.”
“And you just go around, transplanting their hearts into humans?”
She swallowed. “No, they are like everyone else who opts for organ donation when they die. This one came up around the time I asked you if you wanted the surgery.”
His breathing sped up. “Is this a normal reaction to a
shifter heart? Have you done this procedure before?”
“I’ve had one hundred percent success rate with all of my shifter heart transplants. When I said ninety-five percent recovery, I meant only five percent were given the ability to shift.”
“So I’m the five-percent?” He had misunderstood her, though he was sure she’d been misleading to begin with.
She nodded. “Most side-effects are the traits linked to a shifter. Quick healing, heightened senses, sometimes increased hair growth. When you said that you’re incision mark was gone, it was a good sign that the heart took. I prayed that you wouldn’t experience the shift.”
Something inside him perked up, offended. “But I did. And that’s your fault.”
“Toby—”
He cut her off. “Did you ever think what would have happened to me? My neighbor called the cops. He thought I was mauled by a wild bear. And if the police found me? I could have been shot down.”
Estrella’s hands wrung in front of her. “I’m so sorry. I wanted to save you. You’re a good man. I was trying to do what was right.”
“At what cost? I’m a fucking anomaly now.”
Wooden chairs scraped across the floor, grating at his brain. A ringing settled in his ears, blocking the noise from the other people in the pub. That sweeping heat ripped through his body. Oh no. Not now. Not again.
He tried to calm his breathing but it picked up pace on its own. He slid off the stool. “I have to go to the bathroom. I’ll be right—” he collided with another person.
The older man grabbed Toby’s arm. “Are you okay, son?”
Toby apologized and faltered once more before gaining control of his legs.
“Toby!” Estrella called over the ruckus of the pub.
He ignored her and pushed through the bathroom doors. The scent of antiseptic materials assaulted his nose, intensifying the tightening sensation in his stomach. He fell against the sink, not caring how dirty the porcelain was.
He splashed water over his face, cooling the scorching. He rubbed a hand on the back of his neck and was startled to feel excess hair there. He looked into the mirror for only a moment before the excruciating pain ripped through his body.
Chapter Thirteen
Toby expected every part of the shift this time, though that didn’t make it hurt any less. He curled up on the floor and dug is teeth into his bottom lip, stifling the scream that resided in his chest. The popping of his bones was the worst. He writhed on the filthy floor for almost five minutes, he counted each second. Like before, he wanted it all to end. He tried to think of how much he loved the experience of being a bear, but at the moment it wasn’t worth it.
Estrella had done this to him. His mind and heart were torn in half. She claimed she wanted to see him live, but what kind of life was this? He had no control over the change. Would it happen every time he was angry? Was he not allowed to have strong emotions anymore?
When his shift was completed, he stood on all fours panting. He shook his body, releasing the rest of the fur. He sat, staring at the door in front of him. Now what?
He didn’t have to wonder too long because the door opened.
Toby tensed, sensing the person to either freak out or attack him. He didn’t want to kill anyone though he knew he’d know how.
Instead, a black nose poked out between the door and frame. Attached to the nose was a full grown black bear. It was Toby’s turn to freak out. He pressed his hulking body against the tile wall, trying to make himself as small as possible.
The black bear jerked his head to the side with a grunt, indicating for him to follow.
Toby’s gaze darted around the room, not wanting to go out there with other humans.
With another grunt from the black bear, Toby obeyed.
In the main area of the pub, the chairs and tables were pushed aside and all of the patrons stood against the bar looking at Toby.
Toby found Estrella, her hands were clasped in her lap, casually, as if it was an everyday thing to be around two humans who shifted into bears. It had been an everyday thing for her as far as he knew. She said she was their doctor. It all came together for him. The reason she took him there was to be around her shifter friends. Whoever was next to him had been willing to do the intense change to show Toby that it was normal for them.
The air around the black bear started to shimmer. Toby couldn’t tear his eyes away from the bear shifting back into a human. He’d experienced the shift first hand, but to watch was nothing short of magical. He knew it was painful, though on someone else it looked like a dance. The movement of front legs to arms and going from all fours to upright was graceful. When the black bear finished the shift he stood in the middle of the room, butt naked. It was Cal. No one diverted their eyes, it was something they saw a lot of. Someone tossed Cal a shirt and jeans and he swiftly put them on.
Toby looked around the room at mostly unfamiliar faces. He was embarrassed about his outburst, happy that he had fur to conceal his flushed skin.
Cal came to his side and knelt beside him as he did in the dream. “You’re not as dumb as I thought,” he said with a smile, his voice crystal clear this time. He threw a glance to Estrella. “He figured it out better than most cubs do.”
Marty clapped a hand on a younger guy, probably in his early twenties. The guy chucked Marty in the arm. A few of the others laughed but eventually they all turned their attention back to Toby.
Toby shifted his weight on his paws, keeping his gaze on Estrella. She stared right back but said nothing. In fact, no one said anything. What were they waiting for? He had no idea how to shift back and like hell was he going to risk walking in the streets in that form that early in the night.
“To go back,” Cal said. “All you have to do is want to.” He smiled, chuckling to himself. “It’s a simple thing to say, but to do on the other hand…”
With a few encouraging nods from Cal, Toby took a step back and concentrated on being human. What does that even mean? He’d been human his entire life up until a few days ago.
He looked down at the floor, not waiting the others to distract him. Why wouldn’t they leave him alone and let him try? The pressure of their gazes on him made that prickly sensation move across his skin. Where that had been the start of each change, he didn’t feel it. This time he was genuinely embarrassed.
A pair of black shoes entered his vision. He looked up to see Estrella. He leaned back, sat on his furry butt and came eye-to-eye with her.
She took his paw in her hands and gently stroked it. The sensation was amazing. His sense of touch had been heightened too.
He sniffed the air between them, memorizing her scent. It was both sweet and salty, a beautiful mixture that that he knew he’d never forget.
“When training the cubs,” she said softly. “I find it’s helpful to relax.”
Toby rolled his eyes. Estrella laughed. “They’re only here to support you. This is your family now.”
His throat constricted. It had been him and his dad for so long until Toby went to college. Then he rarely saw the guy until he ended up in the hospital. Did he deserve a new family? He certainly never thought so.
“Find a solid connection with something or someone in your human life.”
All he could think about was her. He touched each part of her face with his eyes, downloading all of her into him. She’d been there for him in his worst condition. She could have easily just been his doctor, not the person who saved his life. He had a lot to learn about being a bear shifter, but as long as she was around he didn’t want to be anywhere else.
He closed his eyes and imagined the first time he saw her, now in a new light. Her hard-ass, professional exterior had been broken as they got to know each other while he was her patient. Had he done that? He could finally understand why she was so upset and worried when he didn’t call her back. And why he kept telling him she wanted to save him. She must feel the same way he did. That thought warmed his heart and the beginning stirri
ngs of the change moved through his body.
All of a sudden, violent shudders ripped through him and he toppled over, knocking over a high-top table and two chairs. The shift back to human was quicker and even more painful. He didn’t remember the shift back the first time and wondered if he’d passed out. He certainly felt like doing that now. How did Cal look so graceful doing it? He cried out, the sound a mix of grunting and moaning. His bear-side trying to hold onto its form while the human side of him attempted to take over.
Cal stepped between Toby and Estrella, blocking her from his view. He heaved air into his lungs, thinking that they would collapse at any moment without oxygen. She poked her head out from behind Cal and Toby found her eyes again and honed in on them.
His face was the worst. It was as if his head was being squeezed by a vice. The slow, painful retreat of his snout made him see black spots across his vision. Don’t pass out. Not in front of everyone. Especially her. By the way they had jeered the twenty-something he knew as a new member to the society he’d never hear the end of it. And for the first time, he wanted to be there with them. They’d been more supportive in the last hour than anyone in his life other than Stan.
Stan. Would he be able to confide in his best friend?
It was a question to be saved for later, the final shove into humanity overcame Toby and he heaved the contents of his stomach onto the floor.
Cal and Marty lifted Toby to his feet, his legs were the consistency of jelly. They sat him down and he shivered, turning his body away from Estrella. This is an attractive look for a first date.
Marty lifted a blanket from behind the bar and placed it over Toby’s shoulders. “You did well.”
Toby snorted and looked around. Everyone was settling back into their seats and within minutes the chatter had resumed like two people had never shifted into bears. “What is this place?” He knew this stuff didn’t happen in other places.
“My father owned this pub,” Cal said, clapping a hand on Toby’s shoulder. “It’s a safe place for the sleuth to come.”