I Shall Survive Using Potions! Volume 1

by Funa

  “I know it hurts, but it beats being dead! Pain is proof you’re still alive!”

  The men didn’t say a word. They could only stand around watching, their eyes wide open as Kaoru took one of the potions she made from her pocket—specifically, the yellow one. She held it out toward the female hunter who had come rushing into the guild first.

  “Make him drink this! I only have one of the yellow kind, so don’t spill it!”

  Maybe it was because the woman got the hint from the intensity of Kaoru’s expression, or maybe it was because she just wanted some hope to cling to, but she silently nodded and took the yellow potion. She moved the injured man’s head so his neck was completely straight, then took some of the potion inside her own mouth. She grabbed the man’s chin to open his mouth, then used mouth-to-mouth to feed him some of the potion.

  She did it twice, then a third time, until the entirety of the yellow potion had made it down the injured man’s throat. At the same time, Kaoru was pouring the blue potion directly onto the man’s wounds. Not only was the alcohol she asked for earlier acting as a disinfectant, but she was using it to wash away the blood and dirt as well so she could apply her potions directly onto his injuries.

  She took out a second blue potion and drenched him in it as well. That’s when the effects began appearing, and dramatically at that.

  The flame of life looked to be all but extinguished from the man when he first came in, but, after drinking the yellow potion and having two blue potions poured on his injuries, the deathly pallor in the man’s face was replaced with color once more. Not only that, his once torn skin bubbled and swelled as it knitted itself back together again before everyone’s eyes. He’d already stopped bleeding, and his breathing had become stable. His injuries alone hadn’t been enough to bring him to death’s door in a single blow, but rather, he’d been brought to the brink of death due to a significant amount of time passing after suffering so much internal damage and blood loss. That was the reason his wounds didn’t call for a red potion, but could be dealt with using a yellow one. Pouring the blue potions directly onto his injuries had proved effective as well. It wasn’t a perfect recovery however, since it wasn’t as if the potions could replace the blood he lost...

  But everyone who saw what had just happened knew what it meant: He was going to be all right.

  The specter of death no longer looming over him, the female hunter was clinging to the injured man, while the middle-aged man who carried him in could only stand there in a daze. The young archer who was carrying all the equipment had already sank to the floor.

  Maybe it was because he’d been too busy worrying about his injured friend, but the middle-aged man had a deep gash on his left arm that was still bleeding. Kaoru was amazed at just how tenacious and focused his body was to carry another man while looking like that. However, he was losing a bit too much blood from his wound. Judging by how deep that gash ran, it would take a considerable amount of time for it to heal, and there was always the chance it could end up leaving a scar. That would be a bit of a waste—no, it would be a huge waste for a guy like him. Smoldering middle-aged men were the treasures of all humanity.

  Kaoru silently offered her last blue potion to the man.

  “Wh-What are you doing?! You think I could just use something as valuable as that on just a few scratches?!”

  “Quiet, you. Just shut up and drink!”

  “...Y-Yeah, okay...”

  After being glared at with Kaoru’s trademark harsh eyes, the man obediently took the potion and drank it all down. The next moment, the deep gashes on his arm healed and closed themselves.

  The guild hall had fallen into a dead silence, when somebody muttered under their breath: “It’s a miracle...”

  The next moment, the hall had erupted into cheers.

  “““YEEEAAAHAAAHHH!!!”””

  “Attagirl, little missy! Attagirrrl!”

  “I had her rub my leg! What the hell was I thinking...?!”

  “That was to help her out when she was hungry, so there shouldn’t be any problems there!”

  “Why was I such an idiot?! Why didn’t I buy that medicine for a silver coin back then?!”

  Mugs were shattered in hearty toasts. The tipsy hunters kept on shouting while Kaoru was being tossed about like a ship in a storm in the middle of it all. It was pandemonium, a scene right out of hell that was centered around an angel—one that just happened to have a very harsh look in her eyes.

  Chapter 3: The Great Escape

  I was totally thrown for a loop. This was all wrong, no matter how you looked at. This wasn’t what Celes and I had talked about at all. It was around that time that I came to a realization:

  “Ohhh, I get it. Celes totally has a few screws loose.”

  It was an immediate answer on my part. I didn’t need any other information, and there was no need for me to think over it again. Why was I able to come to that conclusion so fast, you ask? Well, luckily for you, I had the perfect reason that should be enough to convince absolutely anyone: because she’s Celes.

  Perfect reasoning, no? It was airtight; no room for any doubts here.

  I’d thought something was off about all this... No one used healing magic when there was someone gravely injured in front of them, no one else was selling healing potions here, and everyone was freaking out over the low- and mid-tier potions I’d used.

  Celes had said it herself: “Magic, monsters, and hunters exist.” In my head, I took “hunters” to mean “adventurers.” To be fair, I wasn’t that far off from the mark there. There were beasts in this world ferocious enough to be called monsters, that was for sure. The “magic” part was where my problem lay.

  Magic did exist in this world. Celes said it existed, so it must have. However, that was different than the “mages and priests firing off combat and support spells” or “enchanted magic items and healing potions bonanza” image that I had in my head. The hunters and the Hunter’s Guild would handle everything from resource gathering, hunting quests, and even escort missions. They pretty much handled everything the adventurers and Adventurer’s Guilds you’d hear about in stories back on Earth would. But—and this was a huge but (stop laughing)—there was no magic here. I repeat: THERE’S NO MAGIC HERE!!!

  The only battles were physical encounters with swords, spears, bows, axes, and all that other good stuff. There was nothing different about the weapons here and how they were back on Earth.

  Magic, on the other hand, was said to have been created by an eccentric old geezer in a tower somewhere who spent his whole life devoted to researching it. He was finally able to use it when he was senile and knocking on death’s door. These consisted of things like “squirting one milliliter of water from your hand,” and “conjuring a flame about the size of a lit candle wick from the tip of your finger.” Friggin’ magic tricks were more impressive than that! There was no way in hell you could use that as your example to say magic existed here!

  Huff...huff...huff...

  It looked like there was no magic that could actually be put to any sort of practical use in this world. Like the fire breath that dragons could spew out, for example. Or that dragons weren’t aerodynamic enough to fly on their wings alone, but they still had the power of flight. Or how dragons had such high defensive abilities that scales alone shouldn’t be able to give them.

  Why is it all dragons?! What the hell!

  ...Anyway, in the midst of all the celebration and revelry, I managed to squeeze some information out of the hunters here. Medical treatment in this world consisted of medicine and salves made from herbs, splints and braces for broken bones, and needle and thread to sew shut any gaping wounds. Magical potions weren’t among those options of course. So here was my conclusion:

  ...I really screwed myself over, didn’t I?

  Here were all these fantastic miracle medicines that shouldn’t even exist in this world, and the only one who could make them? A helpless little girl with nobody there to su
pport her.

  I think I may have backed myself into a corner on this one...

  Welp, it was time to run away, I’d say.

  The next morning, in the main hall of the Hunter’s Guild...

  On one side you had the receptionist counters, the dining hall on the other, and a kitchen further in the back. Upstairs was where all the business related rooms were at, which was probably where the big wigs of the place had their offices.

  So here I was, in the main hall on the first floor. It was utter chaos since the mess from the hubbub yesterday still hadn’t been cleaned up. There were people waking up with massive headaches, people laid flat out over tables, and even people still out cold sleeping on the ground. I’d slept on a bunk near one of the walls, but I had to make sure and get up early to get it all put away before things got busy. All I was cleaning up was my bed. A mess in the dining hall? Nope, didn’t ring a bell.

  I was always the type of person who had a strict habit of showing up anywhere at least five minutes before I was supposed to be there, which is why I asked Celes to get me a wristwatch. And not some fancy brand name watch that looked like it could break if it smacked into a pole a little too hard, but an actual, functional, tough watch. This thing could withstand water pressure up to one hundred meters deep. If I dove any further than that, I think I would break before the watch did. It was solar-powered, which meant I didn’t have to worry about the batteries dying or anything. Actually, I might not need to worry about the battery at all. This thing was made by our favorite goddess after all. The time it displayed was synced with the rotation of this world, and of course I made sure it had an alarm as well. There was no oversleeping for this girl thanks to that.

  I wasn’t getting plastered like everyone else last night, so I had plenty of time to think things over after I finished my intelligence gathering mission. My conclusion: I needed to get the hell out of here!

  My plan was to get up first thing in the morning and clean up my bed, say thank you to the scary receptionist, then pretend to wander about town before making my escape... But, unfortunately, things weren’t going to be that easy for me. It looked like someone had painted a big target on me after what happened last night. Just as I was finished taking care of my bed, I ended up getting caught at the same time.

  “So you must be Kaoru, girly!”

  I was too late...

  There were five men in total who had come for me, all working under the orders of some baron dude. The apparent leader of the group looked to be at least somewhat capable, but the other four looked like random thugs from off the streets with leather armor and swords. It looked like they were the “group of thugs that call themselves guards who are working for an influential person” you heard about so much in these types of stories. It seemed they’d managed to grab hold of some people last night who weren’t completely smashed and asked them all about this town. Information was money, which meant information was life...or something like that.

  Anyway, there was a baron who acted as the governor of this town and a few other villages who was trying to get together the money he needed to move up in the world by levying heavy taxes on his territories. Your real stereotypical, small-time aristocrat type. Naturally, it seemed like the people hated his guts for that, but I couldn’t really imagine a stereotypical aristocrat that was actually loved by the commoners they ruled over.

  Excluding the title of “Knight,” which couldn’t be passed down to your children, barons were the lowest ranks of the aristocracy. They were pretty much the lowest rung of the nobility food chain. Now, if I remembered right...the guy had a wife, two sons, and a daughter. I guessed after he heard about the incident last night, he must’ve seen this as his chance to make a fortune and move on up in the aristocratic world. I bet he was jumping for joy when he told his lackeys to come after me... But sending five thugs to deal with one little girl was totally overkill. I guess you could say that was to make sure I wouldn’t be able to get away, and just in case any of the hunters got in their way.

  “Can I help you? My mother always told me never to talk with strangers, and especially not to go places with them...”

  “What the...” The man who looked to be the leader of the group practically had his eyes popping out of his sockets. “The governor’s calling you, so be a good girl and come with us!”

  “But I don’t live here, you know. I’d follow the orders of the governor where I’m from, but why do I have to obey some person who has nothing to do with me? This governor or whoever doesn’t mean a thing to me. In fact, they’re a total stranger—a stranger who’s trying to force a girl to come to their house. And they’re not even going through the trouble of doing it themselves either... They’re just making their underlings do it for them.”

  It looked like my comment had the blood rushing to the man’s head.

  “Y-You little brat!”

  By the time he noticed, the hunters were beginning to gather around us.

  “Tch, just hurry up and come with us!”

  “Ahh!”

  The group of men grabbed my arm and forcefully dragged me outside. Even if the hunters wanted to stop these guys, they were all technically soldiers working directly under the governor. If things went south, not only could the people who tried to help me end up killed, but their families could be targeted as well. They could only stand there and grind their teeth as they watched us go.

  Right then, it looked like I couldn’t exactly make a run for it at the moment... At least it didn’t seem like I had to worry about them trying to kill me or do other horrible things to me—for now. Then until I could find that window of escape, I thought it was time to start messing with these guys...

  The corners of my mouth curled up into a smile as I thought that.

  “Ah, wait, Mr. Soldier! Please don’t touch that!”

  I made that request to the leader of the group as he kept his grip on my left arm. I was being surrounded on all sides by the other four men after I obediently began walking along with them, which was also the reason why the leader didn’t have such a tight grasp on me.

  “What, this? Actually, what is this...”

  The leader looked at me curiously.

  I showed off my watch. “It’s very expensive, and worth at least ten gold coins.”

  “What?! Ten gold coins?!”

  To him, this must’ve looked like a rare accessory the likes of which he’d never seen before.

  A large sneer crossed the man’s face. “I’ll just go ahead and hold onto it if it’s so important.”

  He snatched the watch from me as I tried resisting him before shoving it into his breast pocket.

  Heheh, I totally just made bank on that one! I still have to split it with these guys since they saw it, but still...

  The leader of the group just couldn’t stop smiling.

  Of course, I couldn’t stop grinning on the inside either.

  The group ended up bringing me all the way to the governor’s estate. Even if the baron was on the lower end of the aristocracy’s totem pole, he was still nobility and the most powerful individual in this small domain. Maybe he was just compensating for something, but I had to admit he had quite the impressive digs.

  Nobody asked who I was as they brought me inside, and I ended up being led to some sort of parlor room. I was passed off to one of the servants waiting outside, and the group of thugs took their leave.

  “I have brought Miss Kaoru with me.”

  After making that announcement to the room, the servant ushered me inside.

  Sitting at the table inside, I saw a portly man who I assumed to be the baron himself, a woman who was probably his wife, and three others who I’d bet were their children: a guy who looked to be around twenty; a boy who was probably about sixteen; and a girl who seemed somewhere between thirteen and fourteen years old. Everyone seemed like they were a bit on the plump side (probably due to a lifestyle of no exercise and rich food). And I didn’t know if it was hereditary
or something they’d acquired later, but the whole family had these sort of... malicious looks in their eyes.

  ...I should stop judging them based on their eyes. It was making me sad for some reason. Right, it was time to switch to a different train of thought. Yeah.

  Okay, so Rodolph is the eldest son, and the daughter and next oldest son are... Agh, I forgot!

  Man, I really wasn’t good when it came to remembering foreign names.

  One thing I remembered the hunters telling me about the eldest son Rodolph was his horrible reputation. Apparently, there were plenty of incidents where he was already acting like he’d inherited the baron title. I thought that might come in handy later, so I made sure to keep that in mind when I heard it.

  The second son was supposed to be pretty decent compared to his older brother, and smart too. I tried asking around about the daughter, but I didn’t manage to wrangle any decent info. An aristocrat’s daughter wouldn’t really just wander about town, so I guess it made sense there wouldn’t be as many rumors about her compared to the sons.

  “Glad to have you here, my dear Kaoru.”

  The baron gave me a nice broad smile. It was pretty gross having him grin at me like that. Still, this was probably a huge service for me. I mean, not only did someone from the nobility come to greet me with his entire family, he was also being welcoming about it. Not to mention this particular baron didn’t seem to give a rat’s ass about the common folk. I was willing to bet something like this wasn’t exactly an everyday occurrence here.

  “My humblest gratitude for your invitation, Baron.” I gave a small curtsey, something I’d learned from watching movies.

  “Oho, now would you have a look at that...” The elated baron wore a smile that stretched across his entire face. “Please, have a seat. Allow me to welcome you on behalf of my household.”