by Lucy Coleman
‘Yes, it’s a beautiful view, isn’t it?’ Daphne speaks up, to my mind acting as if she’s the lady of the house.
‘Red or white?’ Tollie calls out.
Gray looks at me and I nod. ‘Two for red, please.’
There’s another awkward pause, and while Tollie and Daphne have their backs to us, Gray nudges me in the side, tilting his head in the direction of the kitchen.
‘Is there um… anything I can do to help?’ I call out.
‘Oh, no,’ Daphne instantly responds. ‘It’s all in hand, thank you, Immi. You can take your places at the table, though.’
Can we? How kind. I give myself a mental rap on the knuckles. Why am I acting like a… a… a moody teenager? I’m a grown woman and should know better. My ridiculous reaction makes me laugh and both Gray, who is now over by the table, and Tollie turn to look in my direction.
‘What’s funny?’ Tollie enquires, frowning at me.
‘Oh… I was just thinking about something Patrick said when I did the handover yesterday evening. He said I was organised.’
Tollie begins to belly-laugh, but Gray’s face doesn’t alter.
‘That’s one word for it, m’dear,’ Tollie declares. ‘I hope he sticks to the rules. My granddaughter is very particular, Daphne,’ he adds.
She turns around to look at me. ‘And so am I. Great minds think alike, Immi.’
I’m speechless. Did this woman just give me a warning that I might have met my match? Gritting my teeth, I join them at the table.
Tollie and Gray don’t know how to react, and I have an awful feeling that things aren’t about to get any better.
‘Seriously, Immi, what is your problem?’ Gray asks the minute we step through our own front door. ‘This isn’t like you, at all.’
‘I’m sorry, were we listening to a totally different narrative?’ I ask sarcastically.
Gray looks stunned. ‘Narrative?’
‘Daphne was laying down the law. What right has the woman to do that?’
Gray puts up both of his hands to stop me saying anything more.
‘Whoa. This is in danger of getting out of hand, Immi. She was nervous, you were nervous… Heck, Tollie didn’t know which way to turn. And I—’
‘Sat there letting Tollie constantly refill your glass, because it was in your hand every other second, it seemed.’
‘Immi, that’s not fair. There was a point at which Tollie looked at me and we both wished we weren’t there.’
‘Fine. If you aren’t going to take my side, then I’m sleeping in the spare bedroom. I will see you in the morning.’
‘But… but… it isn’t about taking sides…’
I leave Gray floundering, feeling too angry to even say goodnight.
At one point, Gray left the table to go to the bathroom and Tollie went in search of another bottle of wine. Daphne waited until they were out of earshot before she began speaking.
‘It’s always wisest to leave a patient’s aftercare to the professionals, don’t you think, Immi? Family mean well, of course, but they are often a hindrance. I’m sure I’ll have Tollie up and about in no time at all. As long as he doesn’t get a constant stream of visitors tiring him out, everything will be fine.’
The look she gave me couldn’t have been more pointed.
Daphne has drawn the battle lines and if she thinks I’m going to roll over and let her have her own way, she’s mistaken. This is war and there is no way that I’m going to let her dictate to Tollie, just because he’s not himself and he’s struggling. I’m here for him always, but he seems to have forgotten that and it’s breaking my heart.
‘What’s wrong?’ Fisher stares at me and I know the bags beneath my eyes are a giveaway I can’t hide.
‘Gray and I had a row last night. It’s to do with Tollie.’
Fisher bites his lip. ‘Tollie?’
‘Well, Daphne and the hold she seems to be exerting over him.’
‘Oh. It’s officially a thing, then, is it?’
It’s hard not to sound bitter when I feel that I’m being purposely pushed away. ‘Tollie is having surgery on his back next week.’
‘Surgery? On his back? My goodness, I didn’t know things were that bad. I’m sorry to hear that, Immi. If there’s anything I can do to help, you only have to say.’
‘Thanks, Fisher. But he doesn’t need any help apparently because Daphne is moving in and will be taking care of him.’
‘She’s what?’
‘I know. Gray and I were invited to dinner at The Retreat last night and I left feeling so angry that I thought I was going to explode. That’s why Gray and I had a row, because he thinks I’m being unreasonable.’
Fisher frowns. ‘And are you?’
I shrug my shoulders. ‘Before Daphne retired she was in charge of a clinical ward. But Tollie never once mentioned that he was seeing a consultant and suddenly, out of nowhere, he informs me he’s having an operation. What if it’s Daphne who has talked him into this? If he’d at least discussed it with me beforehand and I was privy to what the consultant had told him, I wouldn’t be quite so concerned. And last night I swear she was, ever so politely, making it clear that my help is not required. At all. Tollie and Gray were just sitting there, wishing they were somewhere else.’
Fisher clears his throat, looking uncomfortable. ‘Um, don’t take this the wrong way, Immi, but Tollie is no fool.’
‘Not you, too!’
‘Listen, you can’t jump to conclusions until you know all the facts. And if Tollie isn’t keeping you in the loop, that’s his right. He hasn’t even mentioned it to me, so perhaps it’s not something he wants to talk about.’
‘So, I leave him in this stranger’s hands, as if he isn’t one of the most important men in my life? I would never forgive myself if something went wrong, Fisher, and you know that. Tollie would be acting in the exact same way if the tables were turned. Even though he knows and loves Gray, if I had a problem, Tollie would be there every step of the way, making sure I had the right treatment. This is all wrong, Fisher, and I’m not going to bow out gracefully.’
We sit in silence while my words sink in and the pause feels like forever.
‘You’re right, my darling girl. But remember, pain does weird things to people and if he’s on painkillers, there’s a chance he isn’t thinking straight. Do you want me to call in on him just in case he wants to have a chat? The two of us could always pop up to The Bullrush.’
‘That would be perfect, thank you. All I want is for him to be healthy and happy. If he’d known this Daphne for a long time, it would be different, but I’m guessing they’ve only known each other for a couple of months, tops.’
‘And now she’s about to move into your old home.’ Fisher’s voice is full of sympathy.
‘It’s not about that, I promise. But she didn’t seem bothered about getting me on her side. While being ever so polite, she went to great lengths to make it clear that plans have been made and it was none of my business.’
‘She said that?’ Fisher sucks in a deep breath.
‘No. Of course she didn’t. Fortunately, I’ve done my own research, so I know a little more about the procedure Tollie is undergoing, but everything has risks attached to it. Yes, I know that it’s entirely his decision, but why can’t I be involved in looking after him, too?’
‘Let me pop in to see him and I’ll report back. But in the meantime, unless he reaches out to ask for your opinion, you simply don’t have a say in the matter.’
Fisher catches Kurt’s attention. ‘Another cappuccino for Immi, please, and a black coffee for me. Thanks.’
‘Okay, that’s enough about my problems. What’s going on with you?’
I have never seen Fisher looking as uncomfortable as he does now. He shifts in his seat as his gaze wanders, focusing on someone walking past the window.
‘I intend to ask Val if she would do me the honour of becoming my wife.’
My reaction is to freeze. His wi
fe? I’m speechless.
‘Please, Immi, don’t mention this to anyone. You’re the first person I’ve told, and I appreciate this might come as a bit of a shock.’
‘You’re not implying that this will come as a shock to Val, too, are you?’ I ask tentatively and his reaction confirms my fears are correct.
‘You know me, I’m not a soppy, wear-your-heart-on-your-sleeve type of man. Never was, never will be. But when I’m with her everything suddenly looks better, brighter and she makes me smile.’
‘Is that your way of saying you love her?’
Fisher doesn’t get anxious, but there’s anxiety written all over his face.
‘I suppose it is, if you want to put it like that.’ His voice is deadpan.
Why are all the men in my life suddenly causing me problems?
‘Fisher, you’re going around in circles unsure of what to do about your future and you can’t put this off any longer. Why are you talking to me about this, and not to Val? Stop making excuses. Seize the moment, now.’
‘Now?’ He sounds panicked.
‘There’s no time like the present. I’m heading home to sort things out with Gray. You need to head off to Byre Cottage, because until you know how Val feels, your life is on hold.’
He nods, pursing his lips and frowning. ‘Point taken. Good advice. Go and make it up with Gray. And I’ll…’
‘Get up out of your seat and start walking. It’s time to man up. What have you got to lose?’
‘You’re right. Will do. And thanks, Immi, that was helpful.’ However, Fisher does look a tad traumatised.
After a reassuring hug and a firm pat on the back, I leave him to drink his coffee and get mine to go. So much for a relaxing Saturday – I wish I’d stayed in bed!
18
Life Lessons
One thing I’ve always loved about Gray is that, even though there are times when he’s all wrapped up in his head, if something important crops up he’s instantly there for me. I wonder if all artistic people are the same, living a part of their life in a world of their own.
Last night we both spoke our truth about the situation with Tollie and, whilst it wasn’t easy for me to listen to his opinion, I understood that he was only trying to be neutral. My version, because I’m only human after all, comes straight from the heart, but he succeeded in convincing me that I should think carefully about how I handle the situation from here on in. He reminded me that going into hospital is a scary thing for anyone and Tollie will, naturally, be anxious. The question Gray asked me was: ‘Are you making things better for him, or worse, by adding to his anxiety?’
I mulled it over for a while, but I know Gray is right. It’s selfish of me to put my feelings first, when all that matters is Tollie’s well-being. Maybe what I’m experiencing is similar to how a parent feels when their child grows up and becomes independent. Things I used to discuss with Tollie, I now discuss with Gray. And if my suspicions are correct and Daphne is going to play an increasing role in Tollie’s life, I need to step back. What I didn’t tell Gray was that when we walked into The Retreat the other night, for a split second before Daphne turned around, I thought it was Grandma Nell standing there. It made my heart ache and what Daphne saw on my face would have been a look of total disappointment. She didn’t deserve that.
Switching off, I begin clearing the breakfast plates but Gray indicates for me to stop. He finishes off the last of his croissant, waggling a finger in the air.
‘Leave it to me. You head off and have that chat with Val.’
‘Are you trying to get rid of me?’ I accuse, sounding miffed.
Gray shakes his head, laughing. ‘No… but I suspect you will be gone a while, so I might as well get a little work done. And after that we can go for that run we keep talking about and never get around to.’ I still pull his leg about Phil’s revelation. It seems grooms, too, get a little self-conscious about the big day.
‘Okay. I’ll give you an hour, two at most, and then that’s a date.’
‘People are going to wonder what’s going on when they see us out jogging, but it’s time we got physical in more ways than one.’ He grins at me. ‘Anyway, what’s so important that you’re abandoning me to head off for a chat with Val?’
‘We’re talking flowers again,’ I inform him, and he rolls his eyes.
‘Oh, right. When Val asked me about it, I just shrugged my shoulders. That’s one area in which I can’t be of any help whatsoever. Have fun!’
I push back on my chair and Gray walks around the table to give me a fleeting kiss. I can see his head is already in work mode and so I leave him to it.
I stroll along the towpath; there are a lot of families and people out walking their dogs today. The delicious smell of frying bacon wafts under my nose as I pass The Bullrush and, even though I’ve already eaten, my stomach rumbles. Ahead of me, I can see Ethel and Abe, busy watering the pots.
‘Morning, another glorious one,’ I call out.
Abe gives me a salute and Ethel turns around to face me. ‘Nothing beats a bit of gardening on a Sunday morning,’ she declares happily. ‘Going for a walk without Gray? Did you leave him in bed?’
I smile, shaking my head. ‘He’s preparing for a meeting tomorrow with his agent, Ollie, and I’m off to see Val. You know what he’s like. Now that his project is finished, he’s keen to start something new and he’s sifting through a list of potential options. He needs to narrow it down because each pitch is time-consuming to pull together. So, it’s back to London again for Gray.’
‘Ah, bless him. He works hard but he’s like a tonic for us all whenever he’s around,’ Ethel replies. I know she has a soft spot for Gray, and he is a bit of a teddy bear. He’s cuddly, affectionate and always makes everyone smile, traits that are hard to resist.
‘And look who we have here – she’s come looking for you, then, Immi.’
I turn around and Val is walking towards us.
‘Am I late?’ I call out, conscious that I’m not sure what time I eventually left the cottage.
‘Not at all. I simply fancied a little fresh air and thought we could walk and talk. My goodness, you two, that is a stunning display this year. Congratulations on getting second place in the floral barge competition!’
‘One year we’ll get to that top spot,’ Abe mutters, stroking his chin. ‘The competition is fierce, though. We always give it our best and we aren’t about to give up trying.’
‘I didn’t know the results were out,’ I exclaim. ‘That’s brilliant news and well deserved!’
‘We’ve been lucky with all the sun we’ve had. It only takes a heavy shower of rain to damage the more tender plants and spoil the show. But now we can relax and just enjoy the display,’ Ethel points out.
‘Well, it certainly raises my spirits every time I see it. Right,’ Val says, glancing at me. ‘Shall we talk about the wedding flowers?’
I nod and we say goodbye, but Val doesn’t turn around, and instead continues straight ahead. I fall into step with her.
‘Let’s walk down to the junction, shall we?’ she suggests.
‘Perfect.’ As we draw level with The Bullrush, I slow my pace and Val follows suit.
‘What’s up?’ she asks.
I nod in the direction of the footbridge in front of the marina building. ‘Daphne is just crossing the bridge. I suspect she’s on her way to see Tollie. I’d rather not bump into her, if you don’t mind.’
We stop for a couple of minutes, turning around to watch a stylish white Viking 24 with an electric blue flash making its way towards us.
‘That’s one of the boats which has a permanent mooring at the marina, although I don’t know the owner. It is nice to see it in use, though. I always think it’s sad seeing them all moored up. Boats are meant to be used,’ I reflect.
‘Well, funny you should say that. It’s kind of what I wanted to talk to you about this morning. I hope you don’t mind the subterfuge.’
‘I did wonder. Wha
t’s up?’
Turning around to see how far ahead Daphne is, Val touches my arm. ‘Let’s cross over the bridge, instead. You never know whether Tollie will take Daphne for a walk so it’s better if we head in the opposite direction. Their friendship is common knowledge now, then, is it?’
We set off and I let out a sigh. ‘Yes. Did you know that Tollie is having an operation on his back for a trapped nerve and Daphne is going to “manage his recuperation”, as she put it?’
‘Ah, I wasn’t aware of that. And that was Tollie’s decision?’ Val checks, and I nod. ‘Then you should be happy for him. Knowing Tollie, he won’t make the best patient and sometimes it’s tough on family members trying to nurse their relatives.’
Val is a practical woman and her past colours the way she looks at things. I wish I could be as objective as her, but my emotions rule my head.
‘That’s more or less what Gray said to me last night. Anyway, that’s enough about my little trials and tribulations. I’m assuming this has something to do with Fisher?’
‘Yes. He turned up unexpectedly at Byre Cottage and I could tell he had something on his mind. He kept pushing it away, but you know me, I don’t believe in beating around the bush. I told him straight that it was time to get whatever it was off his chest.’
I try to imagine Fisher’s reaction to that. ‘And?’
Val draws to a halt halfway across the bridge, and we stop to watch the Viking as it makes its way down towards the junction.
‘Come on, let’s head for the bench alongside the marina’s offices.’
Knowing what was on Fisher’s mind, I’m a little dismayed to note from Val’s demeanour that she’s clearly in a quandary. We stroll along and it isn’t until after we settle ourselves down that she begins talking again.
‘Fisher has asked me to marry him, Immi.’
I’m not good at being fake, and while I’m trying to conjure up something suitable to say, Val turns to face me.